Angel Song (4 page)

“It must be quite a change from…”

“Jacksonville.”

“Ah, from sunny shores to snowy banks. And from teaching to—”

“Serving food at the corner diner?”

“Well, it does make one wonder…what brought you here?”

“Budget cuts eliminated a handful of teaching positions, including mine.” She swiped a hand across her brow. “I grew up not far from here, and I thought I might have better luck finding a job.” Quinn glanced at Linsey. “Besides, I wanted to raise my daughter here.”

“And are you…home?”

“The jury’s still out on that.” She shrugged. “It depends on whether a teaching position opens. A new semester will start next month, and I’ve been interviewing, so maybe I’ll hear something soon. I can’t stay at the diner forever.”

“Well…” His gaze captured hers. “Have you considered finding a church home, too?”

“I told you, Jason.” She shook her head. “It’s not that I don’t have a strong faith. It’s just, people can be brutally judgmental.”

“Kind of like you’re being now?”

“You don’t understand.” Quinn glanced at Linsey, seated across from her and gazing into her soup bowl. “And it’s not something I want to discuss right now.”

“Fair enough.” Jason dipped a piece of crust into his tomato soup. “But, in my opinion, finding a church home is just as important as finding your family’s home.”

“Now you sound like Mama.”

“Mama?”

“Mama Cantori. She took me in when I was young and raised me like a daughter.” Quinn waggled her fingers. “It’s a long story.”

“You mean Ramona Cantori—married to Lorenzo?”

“For going on forty-five years.”

“I know Ramona. She and Lorenzo go to church with me.” He tore off another hunk of sandwich, dipped it into the soup. “Perhaps you’ll consider joining them.”

“You’re not going to let it drop, are you?”

“No.” He shook his head. “If it helps any, we have an active children’s program—perfect for Linsey.”

“With singing?” Linsey scrambled onto her knees and reached for her glass of milk. “’Cause Mom says I’m a good singer. I love singing.”

“Of course.” Jason smiled. “We do lots of singing.”

“Can we go, Mom?” Linsey gazed over the rim of the glass as she sipped her milk. “Tomorrow’s Sunday, and I miss Mama Cantori. We can see her at church.”

“I’m sure she misses you, too.” Guilt gnawed at Quinn. “We’ll see, honey.”

“Well…” Jason slipped the last bite of sandwich into his mouth. He brushed crumbs from his lips with his napkin and leaned back in the chair. “That was certainly delicious.”

“Sorry it was just grilled cheese and canned tomato soup.” Quinn frowned. “I forgot there isn’t much in the cupboard right now. Yesterday was shopping day, but with the car’s battery dead—and the snow—Linsey and I made a snowman, instead.”

“I saw that.” Jason nodded. “It’s more like a snow scene. You have a gift, Quinn.”

“He looks lonely out there, Mom,” Linsey chimed in. “He needs a friend.”

“And what do you suggest?”

“Can we make another one—a girl snowman?”

“Wouldn’t that be a snow
woman
?” Jason laughed.

“I guess so,” Linsey agreed. “But can we?”

“It’s awfully cold, Linsey.” Quinn pushed back from the table and cleared their plates. “Mr. Graves—”

“Jason,” he corrected.

“
Jason
doesn’t want to go out in the snow.”

“Oh, I don’t mind.” Jason stood to help her clear the table. “It’s never too cold to make a good snowman.”

“Snow
woman
,” Linsey corrected.

“Right.”

“Then, can we?” Linsey was already reaching for her scarf. “Please?”

Quinn glanced at Jason. “You’re sure you don’t mind?”

“Not at all.” He set his bowl on the counter beside the sink. “I’d love to.”

5

“Mom, look at our snowmen.” Linsey climbed onto a chair by the window and peered into the front yard beyond. “They look happy.”

“Yes, they do.” Quinn eased beside the chair and gazed into the moonlit night. Snow glistened beneath the clear, starlit sky. The temperature had dipped into single digits once again, guaranteeing the snow would remain for another day. So, the snow family—yes, Jason had insisted on making two more of the frigid creatures, one adult-sized, decorated as a woman, and a smaller version for Linsey—would stand sentinel in the front yard for a while longer.

“Mr. Jason’s nice.” Linsey scratched her nose and ran a hand through her hair, still damp from her bath. The scent of strawberries lingered. “He made a snow fort for me.”

“I saw that.” The packed wall ran the length of the drive and was laden with a small mound of ammunition.

“Maybe he’ll come over and play again tomorrow.”

Quinn wrinkled her nose. “I don’t think so, honey. Mr. Jason is busy.”

“I know. He said his church is putting on a Christmas pageant.” She turned to gaze at Quinn with pretty blue eyes. “He said I can be in it, too.”

“Not this year.” Quinn smoothed the child’s damp hair. “I don’t think so, honey.”

“Why not, Mom?”

Why not, indeed?
Unable to give a good answer, Quinn quickly changed the subject. “It’s getting late, honey. Time for bed.”

“Do you think snowmen sing?”

Quinn smiled. “Maybe when no one’s watching.”

“I bet they sing real pretty. Maybe Mr. Jason knows. I’ll ask him when he comes again.” Linsey gave the snow family one more glance and then turned away from the window. “Will you tell me a story?”

“What would you like to hear?”

“Tell me about a Christmas pageant, Mom. And I want to be an angel.”

****

Jason settled into the recliner and switched on the TV. He grabbed the remote and flipped through channels. A cursory glance told him there was nothing worth watching. He switched off the TV again and reached for the packet of materials he’d ordered for the Christmas pageant. He felt a sense of hope for the first time in a long time.

But that hope mingled with regret. Romping like a child through the snow with Quinn and Linsey only served to remind him of all he’d lost—and all he’d never have. What was the point in adding fuel to that sort of fire? He should keep his distance from Quinn. Getting tangled up with her could only lead to heartache—for both of them.

Except Quinn Sanders chased away the darkness that filled his heart and replaced it with light…something he couldn’t explain. Quite the paradox, considering she harbored her own regrets. Maybe he’d pushed too hard, suggesting she find a church family—
his
church family. If only he could show her the peace and grace waiting there for her.

Oh, why did life have to be so complicated? He bowed his head and prayed that God would lead Quinn back to His fold somehow, some way.

And along the way, a detour through the Christmas pageant would be an added blessing, too.

****

Quinn curled up on the couch with a cup of herbal tea and a magazine. She wiggled her toes, clothed in thick, fluffy socks. The chill had finally eased.

Down the hall, Linsey snored softly. The child was tuckered out. Jason had lingered much longer than required, and seemed to actually enjoy flopping in the snow to make snow angels, tossing snowballs, and sharing a cup of hot chocolate and a bowl of popcorn afterwards. It was almost like a dream—what she’d longed for since she learned she was carrying Linsey. The child deserved to know a father who would cherish her.

Donald certainly hadn’t. He’d tossed her aside like a bag of rubbish.

When Quinn had finally gathered the courage to tell him she was pregnant, his reaction rocked her world.

“How could you let this happen, Quinn?”

“Me?” She gagged and nearly lost her dinner. “I didn’t do this alone.”

“Well, you certainly didn’t consider
me
.” He’d paced the small dorm room, his shoulders hunched in agitation. “I’ve got some money tied up in savings bonds, but I think I can cash them in. I’ll pay to get rid of it.”

“Get rid of it?” Quinn could hardly believe the callous words. Her hand had splayed instinctively across her belly to protect their growing child. She tried to make sense of things. Donald was older by several years—about to finish his law school residency—and though sometimes stubborn in his ways, he usually displayed a sense of protection for her. “
It’s
a baby, Donald. I’m not going to get rid of
it
.”

“You’re actually considering having it?” He paused to face her, his eyes like two burnished black stones. “Do you realize what that means to my future?”

“A family?”

“I’m not ready to get married, Quinn. And even if I was, I don’t want kids—ever.”

“What?” She wondered if her expression registered the shockwaves that raced through her heart. “You never told me that.”

“Yes, I did. You just failed to listen.” He paused at the small window overlooking the campus quad. “Oh, this complicates everything.”

“It doesn’t have to.” Her lips trembled, and the words came with great difficulty. Suddenly, she couldn’t seem to draw a breath.

“You don’t understand.” He turned from the window and took her by the shoulders. “I’ve been meaning to tell you…I’m moving to Washington after graduation.”

“D.C.?”

“Yes. I’ve been offered an interim position at the law offices of Jones and Hewitt.” He glanced away. “And if it goes well, they’ll make the position permanent. I can’t afford to mess things up.”

“But I still have a year of college.”

“My point, exactly.”

“What are we going to do?”

“
We
?” He shook his head. “
You
got into this mess, Quinn.”

“But…” Quinn crossed her hands over her chest, her pulse stammering. She backed away from him as if he were a dangerous stranger. A sob escaped her lips. “I think you should go now, Donald.”

“I think I should, too.” But his gaze lingered, as if she were a specimen on a microscope slide and he was trying to make sense of what he saw. “And, for the record, you’re being foolish and unreasonable, Quinn.”

“No, I’m being…” She paused. What was she being? Suddenly she knew what it felt like to stand at a fork in the road, deciding on which path to take. One was filled with weeds, the other with rushing whitecaps. Neither was safe or easy…or one she cared to travel. But she couldn’t turn back—there was no turning back. Her eyes filled with tears. “Just go. Please.”

“Suit yourself.” He turned, his shoes slapping the scuffed tile floor. At the doorway, he paused for one last look. “Call me when you’ve come to your senses.”

She’d remember him that way forever, though now he lay in a grave back in his hometown of Shreveport. A year into his coveted position at the prestigious firm of Jones and Hewitt—eight months following Linsey’s birth—he’d been in a head-on collision while rushing to an appointment. The injuries were fatal. The news had brought an odd mixture of remorse and sadness that covered Quinn like a veil. All Linsey would ever know of her father was carried in a photo and a few shared memories.

Across the street, a dog barked, drawing Quinn’s attention back to the shadowed living room. She sipped her tea, guilt gnawing at her as thoughts of Jason returned. Was it really such a huge sacrifice to help with the Christmas pageant? The commitment wouldn’t last more than a month, and it would mean so much to him.

But that wasn’t the biggest concern. What if Jason started asking questions about Linsey—like where was her father? Would he still want her to help, and would he even still like her?

She cradled the warm mug between her chilled fingers. Was it wise to open that door? What if Linsey became attached to him and then things crumbled? She’d endured enough change in her short life.

But the child had one simple request—to be an angel in the pageant. What would it hurt to indulge her?

Oh, why did life have to be so complicated?

Quinn set the mug on the coffee table, reached for the phone, and dialed.

“Hello?” Mama Cantori’s voice was raspy with sleep. Quinn frowned. She’d lost track of the time, and it was late.

“Mama, I’m so sorry for waking you.”

“Is everything OK? Is it Linsey?”

“She’s fine, Mama. She’s sleeping. Jason wore her out playing in the snow.”

“Jason?”

“Yes. He came for dinner and then…” she paused. “Never mind about that, Mama. What time does service start tomorrow…for Landers Hollow Community Church?”

“Ten-thirty.” Mama perked right up. “Are you thinking about coming?”

“Yes, sort of.” Quinn sighed. “I suppose it’s time.”

“Oh, Quinn, of course it’s time. This is wonderful news!” Excitement laced her voice. “My prayers are answered. Lorenzo and I will pick you up; you and Linsey will ride with us.”

“I don’t want to trouble you further, Mama.”

“Trouble me? Bite your tongue, young lady. To drive you is a blessing.”

“Yes, Mama.” Quinn frowned. Of course, she should have known Mama Cantori would make a big deal out of things. A new road…another unexpected detour. There was no turning back now. “We’ll be ready. See you in the morning.”

6

“Mr. Jason!”

Jason turned toward the voice and saw Linsey scampering down the hall, her hand clasped firmly in Quinn’s. He was glad they couldn’t hear his sharp intake of breath or feel the way his pulse kicked into overdrive as his gaze drank in Quinn’s sassy mahogany hair, clipped at the side with silver, heart-shaped pendant. Her rich, dark eyes looked just a bit apprehensive and her cheeks were flushed from the cold. Her hands trembled as she loosened the hunter-green scarf around her neck.

“Mr. Jason, we’re here.” Linsey’s sweet voice mirrored his excitement.

“I see that.” He offered Linsey a high five as the shock wore off. What had transpired during the past twelve hours to coax Quinn through the church doors? “Good job. And who’s that in your arms?”

“Ginny, my doll. She likes to go to church.”