Angel of Redemption (33 page)

Kayla stares at me, her eyes widening when she
realizes what I’m saying.

“Her name was Stephanie,” I continue. “I met her
in juvie when I was sixteen.” I quickly move on, hoping Kayla won’t ask why I
was in juvie. I’m not ready to share that much tonight—if ever. “From the
second I got there, she was on me, but I was greener than a fucking meadow in
springtime. I had no idea.” I laugh, but there’s absolutely no humor behind it.
“She was beautiful and charismatic. And she was older; only by nine months, but
it seemed like so much more. I knew she was there on drug charges, but I didn’t
care. She was clean when I met her, so I figured it was over and done with. It
only took her a few weeks to seduce me. Probably would have been less, but I
was terrified that if I turned out to be a two-pump chump I would be ridiculed
by every motherfucker in there.”

“
You were a virgin?
”
Kayla asks, surprised.

I
nod.
“
I
was kind of a late bloomer. She paid me a lot of attention. I thought I was
special. It wasn
’
t
until later that I found out she was also there on prostitution charges.
”

“
Oh, crap,
”
Kayla groans.

I
shrug.
“
We
were always safe, but it hurt like hell to find that shit out. I felt like a
total asshole. We got into a huge fight about it and she laughed at me
—
called me naive. I couldn
’
t stay away for long, though. That
place was horrible. The kids there were hardcore. I mean, I
’
m talking kids convicted of sexual
assault and attempted murder. In the grand scheme of things, Steph
’
s charges weren
’
t that big of a deal. And she made
being there better.
”

I pause and take a sip of water. “Steph was
released on her eighteenth birthday. She gave me a number and told me to come
find her when I got out. I was devastated; I thought I was going to die without
her. She was my sanity.” I take a deep breath. “The day I was let out, my
parents picked me up and took me home, but I went straight back out to find
her. I was so fucking pathetic.”

“
Where was she?
”
Kayla asks curiously.

I
grimace.
“
I
found her hooking on a street corner downtown. She was strung out and so fucked
up that she didn
’
t
even know who I was at first. I couldn
’
t take her home like that
—
my parents would have called the cops.
I rented a hotel room and practically held her down until she sobered up enough
to figure out what was going on. At first she didn
’
t want to come with me, but I swore to
her that I
’
d
take care of her. My parents had some money put away for me for college, but I
didn
’
t
plan on going, so I told her we could use it to live. I got her cleaned up and
took her back to meet my parents.
”
Kayla
’
s jaw drops and I laugh.
“
Yeah, you can imagine how that went
over. They hated her. My whole fucking family hated her. Even Aiden hated her,
and he
’
s
the most nonjudgmental person I
’
ve ever known. We got into a knockdown, drag-out fight.
They refused to let her move in, and I refused to come home if they didn
’
t. I walked out and didn
’
t look back.
”

“
Ever?
”

I
shake my head.
“
I
never moved back, no. Of course, I didn
’
t even think about the fact that I didn
’
t have any of my own money. My parents
put two thousand dollars into my savings account and then essentially locked me
out. I had no access to anything else. I found out that they
’
d put a stipulation on my college fund
—
if I didn
’
t go, I wouldn
’
t have access to the money until I was
twenty-one. We blew through everything I had in about three weeks. Steph
offered to start hooking again, and I absolutely refused.
”

“
Three weeks?
”

“
She couldn
’
t let go of the meth. I had to choose my battles. At the
time, it didn
’
t
seem worth fighting over. We lived on the streets and in shelters for awhile
…
ate in soup kitchens, stole food. When
I could get the odd job we stayed in motels. It wasn
’
t ideal, but I didn
’
t care. I wasn
’
t about to go home and prove that they
were right.
”

“
Did you get hooked?
”

“
No,
”
I scoff.
“
Never even tried it. I hated all that shit. I smoked a
little weed and drank, but nothing harder. If I got fucked up, who would look
after Steph? My parents kept trying to get me to come home, but they wouldn
’
t let me bring her, so I told them to
fuck off. And then she came up with her brilliant idea.
”

“
Which was?
”

“
Get married. I don
’
t actually think she wanted to marry me. I think she just
wanted to prove to my parents that I loved her more than them
—
show them just how much power she had
over me. I was a fucking fool.
”

“
What happened to her? I mean you
’
re obviously not married now. Are you?
”

I
shake my head.
“
We
went to a party one night. Just a group of kids like us; people with nowhere to
go and nothing to do. Loud music, alcohol. I knew there were drugs there and
she
’
d
probably get high. We couldn
’
t afford to buy the shit much, so parties were where she
usually got her fix. But that time, I didn
’
t realize she
’
d actually scored more. On the way home, I got stopped by
the cops for speeding.
”

“
Your arrest?
”

I
nod.
“
They
found a bag of crystal meth in my coat pocket. I guess she slipped it in there.
”
Kayla narrows her eyes.
“
I didn
’
t know why she did it, but I kept my
mouth shut. I called my dad. I thought he would help post bail so I could ask
my wife why she sold me out, but he just left me there. Told me I
’
d fucked up again and that it was time
for me to realize I was an adult and that I couldn
’
t go running around like an ungrateful
brat anymore. When I finally got to talk to Steph, she told me she was
pregnant.
”
Kayla sucks in a large amount of air.
“
She begged me
…
told me she couldn
’
t have our baby in prison. Said Social
Services would take it away from us. Promised me she
’
d get clean and wait for me.
”

“
So you took the fall.
”

I
swallow dryly.
“
I
thought I loved her.
”

“
You did love her.
”

“
I needed her. I
’
d
spent so much time feeling empty,
”
I pause.
“
She made me feel alive again.
”

Kayla
nods and frowns.
“
She didn
’
t wait?
”

“
She sent me an ultrasound photo, I guess to prove she wasn
’
t lying. She visited me every month
with her clean urine tests. I watched her belly grow.
”
Kayla
’
s face pales considerably as I speak.
“
When the baby was born, she sent me a
picture of our little girl
—
Abigail
—
but she refused to bring her to the
jail. I lived for the day when I would get out and get back to my wife and my
baby. But when I got out, it was pretty obvious she wasn
’
t mine. She had beautiful brown skin
and her mother
’
s
bright-blue eyes.
”
Kayla opens her mouth, and then stops
and purses her lips back together.
“
Steph told me that when I couldn
’
t find work, she had to do what she
had to do. She did a couple randoms and that was it. I wanted to believe her,
but I didn
’
t.
I followed her around and found out that the baby
’
s daddy was her pimp
—
the same one she left when I got out
of juvie.
”

“
Oh, Dean.
”

“
I moved in with some friends who offered to help me out. I
couldn
’
t
face going back to my parents
’
house. My buddy helped me figure out how to file for
divorce, fronted me the cash, and helped me get a job. I was making something
like six bucks an hour.
”
I laugh.
“
She asked for money, but my dad
’
s a smart man. When I got arrested, he
reworked the terms of my fund. He made it untouchable until I turned
twenty-five. I
’
m
sure that if Steph had the money for a good attorney, she probably could have
gotten around it, but she didn
’
t. She got nothing.
”

“
Where is she now?
”

“
I don
’
t know. I try not to think about it.
”
Kayla nods.
“
There, uh, aren
’
t a whole lot of people who know these details, Kayla. My
family, a couple of close friends. It
’
s not something I talk about.
”

“
Yeah
—
I mean, no. I wouldn
’
t ever say anything.
”
She smiles at me and her hand settles
on my knee.
“
Thank you for telling me.
”

I
shrug. I
’
m
not sure if she
’
s going to ask what I did to get into
juvie, so I brace myself. But she doesn
’
t.
She slides her hand back and forth on my leg. I watch the movement and then
eventually place my hand on top of hers. She looks up at me. We stare at each
other. And then she stifles a yawn.

“
You
’
re
tired.
”
I let go of her hand. She picks up her
phone.

“
Oh, God. I didn
’
t realize how late it was. I should
probably go home.
”

“
Stay here,
”
I offer, except it
’
s not really an offer. I have no intention of letting her leave
at this time of night.

“
I can
’
t.
”

“
You can. I
’
ll give you some clothes to sleep in. You can take my bed.
I
’
ll sleep on the couch.
”
She
’
s shaking her head, but I can see her eyes drooping.
“
It
’
s too late to leave now. I
’
ll take you to get your car first
thing in the morning. What time do you have to be in?
”

“
I
…
Dean
…”
I raise my eyebrows at her, and she sighs.
“
Fine. I
’
m too tired to argue with you anyway.
”