Angel of Redemption (23 page)

He
lifts one shoulder and offers me a sexy smile.
“
I
know I
’
m not the easiest guy to get along
with, but sure. Why not?
”

I
consider what he
’
s saying. What exactly is he offering?
Men and women have different definitions of friendship, and, without knowing
more about who he is, I
’
m not sure how to take his suggestion.
All I know is that my curiosity to find out more about him is overwhelming.
“
I don
’
t know anything about you,
”
I finally answer, pressing my lips together.

He
hesitates for the briefest of moments; I can see him thinking.
“
What do you want to know?
”

I
’
m leaning forward as well, now. We
’
re staring at each other.

“
I want to know a lot,
”
I say quietly.

His
eyes flash with what looks a little like fear. He swallows, his Adam
’
s apple sliding down his throat and
then slowly back up.

“
A lot would take a long time.
”

“
So tell me one thing. One big thing.
”

Dean
smirks.
“
You want to know one big thing about
me?
”
he taunts. It takes me a minute, but I
figure out what he
’
s insinuating, although after his
“
problem
”
last weekend, I pretty much already
know how big that thing is.

“
Oh, Jesus,
”
I laugh, another rush of heat flooding through my body.

“
I
’
m not sure my niece
’
s birthday party is the place to talk. Chances are people
are already wondering where we are.
”

I
nod, realizing he
’
s
right.
“
We
’
ve got to make up for last Tuesday
anyway. Do you want to meet for lunch this week?
”
I ask hopefully.

“
When?
”

I
look at my phone calendar.
“
Wednesday? At one o
’
clock? Then I can meet with Logan for
his IL session when he gets home from school. Will that work?
”
I look up at him.

“
I
’
ll
make it work.
”

It
’
s so hard to pull myself away from his intense gaze, but I
force myself to look down at my phone again. I
type “
Lunch with
Dean”
i
nto
my calendar
,
trying to hide my grin. When I stand to leave, Dean follows
me. I open the door, but he grabs it just above my head and holds it in place.
He
’
s
looking down at me with questioning eyes.

“
What?
”
I ask.

“
Were you trying to avoid me this week?
”

I
close my eyes and open them back up slowly.
“
Yes.
”

“
Why?
”

“
It
’
s stupid.
”

“
I thought we were friends. You can
tell me anything. Even stupid things.
”

I
shake my head in amusement.
“
I was embarrassed.
”

“
Because you almost kissed me?
”

I
scoff.
“
I did
not
almost kiss you. You
almost kissed me!
”
His chest is vibrating with laughter.
He
’
s
just trying to get a rise out of me. Bastard.
“
You
’
re a jerk.
”

He
stops, and his face becomes slightly more serious.

“
As my friend, do me a favor.
”

I nod cautiously, not sure what exactly he’s going
to ask of me.

“Don’t avoid me. If we have a problem, come talk
to me. It was really frustrating not knowing what happened with you this week.
It almost drove me crazy.”

His
words cause my breath to stutter. I know he must hear it, but he doesn
’
t react. He simply watches me, waiting
for my answer.

“
I promise,
”
I whisper.

Dean
lets go of the door, and we rejoin the party.

Dean

Friends
? What the fuck am I thinking? I cannot be friends with
that woman. She makes my balls ache ten different kinds of blue. And not just
because she
’
s gorgeous. Every little thing about
her
—
the way she bites her thumbnail when
she
’
s nervous, the way she teases me
—
makes me want to grab her and press her up against the wall
and kiss the shit out of her. And I wouldn
’
t
be able to stop at just kissing her. I
’
m
pretty sure doing that would take us right out
of the “friend”
category
.

While
I realize that my brother is right and it
’
s
not technically against the rules to date a worker, I know that it
’
s strongly discouraged on both sides. But using that as an
excuse not to pursue her is easier than admitting the real
reason:
I
’
m
not good enough for her.

At
least being her friend gives me a reason to tear that fucker Brody
’
s throat out if I ever hear that he
’
s put his hands on her again. Friends
do that
—
protect each other.

I
hear a throat clear and turn to see Andy standing next to me. He
’
s a couple of inches taller than me,
but he
’
s
thin and doesn
’
t
look nearly as strong. I hate that I automatically size people up, even when
there
’
s no threat. After all these years,
you
’
d
think the habit would wane.

“
Hey.
”
I nod.

“
Hey,
”
he responds. I can tell by the tone of his voice that his
approach was not coincidental.

“
What
’
s up?
”

“
What are you doing with my sister?
”
he asks bluntly.

I
take a few breaths before I answer.
“
She
’
s a friend and a colleague. Why?
”

He
narrows his eyes at me and lets out a breath of air through his nose.

“
Look. I don
’
t know you all that well and I can
’
t control who Kayla spends her time with,
but don
’
t
fuck with her.
”

“
Why would I fuck with her?
”
I ask, tilting my head to the side. I
’
m not sure what he
’
s
heard about me, so I don
’
t know how to take his statement.

He
shrugs.
“
Maybe you wouldn
’
t. I
’
m just sayin
’
.
”

“
She
’
s a big girl. I
’
m pretty sure she can handle herself.
”

“
She
’
s still my little sister. You fuck
with her, I fuck with you.
”

“
We
’
re just friends, but I gotcha.
”
I chuckle. I could take this guy any day of the week, but I
have to appreciate his protectiveness.

He
nods.
“
Good.
”

The
rest of the party passes in a blur. Opening presents is a chaotic and insane
experience, but Ashley takes time to thank each person before tearing into the
next gift. Aiden and Emily are good parents. Both their kids have more manners
than me.

I
find myself frequently drawn to the vicinity of my new
friend
. I bump
into her more than once
—”
by accident,
”
of course. She glares at me, but there
’
s always a smile hidden in her eyes,
so I know she
’
s
not mad. When I
’
m
not near her, I watch her. She
’
s animated and laughs frequently; it
’
s clear people are drawn to her. When she notices her
sister getting bored, she includes her in the conversation. They seem to be
such different people.

Glancing
around the room at the dwindling party, I catch my mother
’
s eye. She
’
s looking at me, but I
’
m not sure she
’
s actually seeing me. It
’
s hard to tell. She looks deep in
thought. I wave at her with a sarcastic smile. Apparently, she does see me
because she responds immediately with her own little finger waggle. Sometimes I
wonder if my mother has completely lost her mind.

Eventually,
Kayla, Andy, and Claire are the only guests left other than me. Caleb fell
asleep in Aiden
’
s
arms about an hour ago and is now in bed. Ashley is sitting quietly on the
couch watching a movie with the doll I bought her tucked under her arm. I
’
m glad she likes it. I was worried it
would freak her out. The lady at the store assured me that wouldn
’
t happen, but I
’
m a paranoid motherfucker. For some
reason, I kept picturing Chucky from those
Child
’
s Play
movies.

While
everyone is saying their good-byes, I start to clean up so that I can avoid the
pleasantries. I
’
m not in the mood to smile and shake
hands with people I don
’
t know. Emily frowns at me, but lets
me escape.

As
I bend down to pick up a pretzel hiding under the coffee table, a pair of shoes
appears next to me. I know exactly who they belong to. Shoes aren
’
t something I usually pay attention to
—
unless they
’
re on
her
feet.

“
Hey,
”
I say, standing up.

“
Hi.
”
She smiles at me. It
’
s
a genuine smile, not an I
’
m-being-polite
smile.
“
We
’
re heading out.
”

“
Oh.
”
I
’
m not sure what to do. I try to recall how I usually say good-bye
to my female friends
…
but then I realize I don
’
t really have any. Kayla rolls her eyes and laughs before
leaning in and sliding her hands over my shoulders. At first I
’
m completely motionless. Her touch feels amazing, but she
’
s caught me off guard. I come to my senses just as I feel
her starting to let go. I quickly wrap my arms around her. She
’
s fucking tiny. If I squeeze too hard,
I might break her, and yet my body aches to hold her tighter.

“
I
’
ll see you Wednesday,
”
she whispers in my ear just before planting a kiss on my
cheek and pulling away.

As
I watch her guide her little sister out, smiling at Emily and thanking my brother,
I find myself wishing I could be more for her
—
that
I could change my past. But I can
’
t.
I have nothing to offer.

Regardless,
I like her, and I want her to stick around. I guess I
’
m gonna have to make this
“
friends
”
thing work.

* * *

I call to check in with Tracy around nine and then take a
seat next to my brother on his couch. He hands me a beer.

“
Everything okay?
”
he asks, turning on the television to check the hockey
scores.

“
Nothing Tracey can
’
t handle.
”
I pop the top of my beer and take a
swig.

“
So, what
’
s up with you and Kayla?
”

“
Nothing. Why?
”

“
I don
’
t know. I couldn
’
t help but notice that both you and our little caseworker
cutie disappeared for awhile there. Where
’
d you run off to?
”

“
The study. I wanted to apologize for
last weekend without an audience.
”

“
Apologize?
”

“
Yeah. I said some shit, okay? I was an
asshole. We
’
re
trying to work together to help Matty and that won
’
t work if we can
’
t get along.
”

“
Okay. Did you work it all out?
”
he asks.

I
nod.
“
We
’
re friends.
”
Aiden laughs.
“
Shut
up, douche!
”

“
I
’
m sorry, but it
’
s funny. You don
’
t have female friends. How long do you think that
’
s gonna last?
”

“
It
’
ll last,
”
I mumble over the lip of my beer.
“
It has to.
”
I say this last part so quietly that I
know he doesn
’
t
hear me.

He
shrugs.
“
Okay.
”

“
Okay? That
’
s it?
”

“
Dude, I told you I wasn
’
t going to keep bugging you about it.
I was just curious.
”

We
sit for awhile watching the week
’
s sports highlights before he speaks
again.
“
You like her though, right?
”

“
Aiden.
”

“
Sorry,
”
he chuckles, hands up in surrender.

I
spend the night on the couch, not eager to drive back to my lonely apartment. I
wake the next morning to the sound of Ashley shrieking. It
’
s horrifying.

“
Uncle Dean,
”
she squeals, bursting through the guest-room door.
“
Caleb says the doll you gave me is his!
”
She climbs up into bed with me and buries herself under my
arm.

“
Is mine!
”
Caleb shouts before running away. I bite down on the inside
of my cheek, trying not to laugh. Little shit.

“
Where
’
s your mom, half pint?
”
I ask, throwing my arm over my head.

“
In the kitchen.
”

“
This is definitely mom territory, not
uncle territory,
”
I groan. She whines, sticking out her
lower lip. It
’
s my fucking kryptonite, and my niece
knows it.

“
Caleb!
”
I shout.
“
Come here.
”
I see his little head poke around the door.
“
If you give the doll back to your sister, I
’
ll take you for an ice cream next time
I come over.
”

His
eyes light up, and he throws the doll down at Ashley
’
s feet. Picking it up, she hugs it
tightly with a satisfied smile.