Angel Eclipsed (The Louisiangel Series Book 2) (15 page)

I blinked. Hearing my own voice was strange.

Memory-me focused on Lilah. “Now, bitch, step away from him.”

“Hello, Angel,” Lilah said, as she turned to face Memory-me, holding her hands up.

“Joshua, are you alright?” Memory-me asked, her eyes filled with worry.

 “Nothing a couple of hours alone with you wouldn’t fix,” Memory-Joshua muttered.

“I’ve told you, quit with the flirting,” Memory-me responded. The smile on her face was painfully forced.

“Oh, for crying out loud, get a room already.” Lilah said, and then she laughed. “Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot. You’re not allowed.” Memory-me looked surprised. “You think I don’t know about those stupid rules?” she asked, laughing.

The scene in front of me started to go fuzzy again. “Untie him,” Memory-me demanded, sounding much more forceful than I remember being. “Not you. Tweedle Dum. You can keep your skanky hands well away from him.” Despite the fact the room was still fuzzy, my words were clear.

The henchman stepped forward and suddenly Memory-Joshua was free. His hand moved to the dagger, and as he pulled it free, the figure beside him moved in a blur in front of Memory-me, sending my bow flying from my hands. I watched in shock as the man pulled his arm back before hitting me with an upper-cut to my jaw which sent me soaring. It was like a scene from a cartoon as my feet left the ground and my body arched backwards, before crashing to the floor.

“Angel!” Memory-Joshua cried, sending my attention back to him, just in time to see Lilah spinning and backhanding him. The action sent him flying and the room descended into darkness.

I glanced over at Dream-Joshua, surprised that he was still visible. “This is where things start to get really hazy,” he told me. “I think I probably lost consciousness, because the next thing I remember is this.”

I glanced back at the room as it brightened and found Joshua pulling himself upright against a pile of rubble. At first his attention was on his hand and I noticed the blood on it. I watched as he winced and pressed his hand against the wound in his shoulder. “I haven’t fallen,” I heard Lilah’s words grow louder as Joshua started listening to the conversation Memory-me was having with the natural redhead. “Yes, I did sleep with my charge, but that won’t make you fall. It’s just going to piss Michael off enough to throw you out.”

Although Memory-me and Lilah continued talking, the volume of the conversation dipped and I couldn’t quite hear what was being said. I took a deep breath and turned to Dream-Joshua. “I had just discovered that Lilah was still an archangel and was possessing the body she was in,” I told him, ignoring the expression on Memory-me’s face as I tried, too slowly, to put the pieces together. “She admitted that we were there because you were a key, but she wouldn’t tell me what to yet. She was adamant that she wasn’t going to give up her plan too soon. I accused her of killing me,” I added, watching the conversation between Lilah and Memory-me go a little blurry.

Memory-me suddenly came into focus as she met Memory-Joshua’s gaze. Once again, I was looking much better in his memory than I actually had. Then Lilah’s accomplice stood between Joshua and me. From this angle I couldn’t see the dagger grow into a sword. It just seemed to appear in my leg.

“The daggers grow,” I muttered, rubbing my thigh as though I could still feel that blade go through the skin and muscle. The only reminder from that night was a scar from that wound. I was ready to explain further about angelic weapons, when my words were caught in my throat. To the soundtrack of Lilah laughing and Joshua calling my name – things I hadn’t even registered at the time – I watched as Memory-me punched at the fallen angel’s crotch so hard, his feet left the ground.

“Remind me never to get on the wrong side of you,” Joshua muttered from beside me, sounding almost sympathetic to the man I had just punched. I glanced at him, ready to point out that the guy had helped Lilah to abduct him, attack and stab me, and that he deserved it, but I realized the look Dream-Joshua was giving me was one of pride. Blushing, I looked over at Memory-Joshua. He too, was watching with his mouth open slightly, awed at my actions.

A flurry of movement had my attention back on Memory-me. The fallen angel had just crumpled to the ground and my focus was still on him so that I didn’t see Lilah charge at me. I watched my body fly through the air, further than when the fallen angel had punched me, and slam against a steel beam. Memory-me disappeared under a cloud of dust and rubble.

Meanwhile, Memory-Joshua was struggling to his feet. He only managed a few steps before Lilah had pounced on him, wrapping her long fingers around his neck. As he went slack, the room started to darken again.

“This is as far as I get, every time,” Dream-Joshua told me.

“You really don’t remember anything else?” I asked him, turning to him. He shook his head. “And you really want to?” I asked, wishing that by now he had changed his mind. He hadn’t.

“I’ve told you,” he said, gently, but firmly. “Whatever happened next is still affecting you. I want to know what happened.”

Shades of Darkness

I took a deep breath and nodded. “She was choking you,” I told him. “I was still over there,” I added, gesturing to the pile of rubble that was only faintly visible. Beside me, I could see Dream-Joshua concentrating on what I said. Slowly, the pile of rubble became fully visible, although the rest of the room remained darkened. “But she was only doing it to make me angry.”

“Why?” Dream-Joshua asked me.

I tightened my grip on him before finally admitting, “The whole reason you ended up here was because of me. They had been trying to find an angel who would kill and they worked out that the only way that one would do that was by protecting someone they cared about,” I explained, unable to meet his gaze. “It was a bit of a long shot, really.”

“That the person you cared about was me?” Joshua asked, quietly.

“No,” I said, slowly shaking my head. “That it would work with me: I hadn’t yet earned my wings.”

I looked over at him then, and found him, studying me. Finally, he turned and looked at Memory-me. “You don’t look like you were going to get up.”

“I didn’t think I would,” I admitted. “But you looked like you were going to die.” I let out a bitter laugh. “Except that was never going to happen.”

“It looks like it was about to,” Dream-Joshua pointed out.

“I know, and that’s why I did what I did,” I said. I pulled my hand free of his, wrapping my arms around myself as I tried to keep back a shudder.

“Do you regret doing it?” Dream-Joshua asked me, softly.

In front of me, Memory-me was finally on her feet, almost flying across the room. Silently, I watched myself plunge the sword through Lilah. That was all I could cope with. I closed my eyes, trying to squeeze some warmth back into me with my own arms. “No,” I said, my voice sounding strained. I cleared my throat and repeated myself, my voice firmer this time. “No, I don’t.”

In front of me, I could hear Lilah talking to me, but her words were growing quieter. I could pick out the odd word: Lucifer, Hell, kill… I suspected that if I were to open my eyes, the room around me would be growing dimmer too. Memory-Joshua would have been battling to stay conscious. I kept my eyes closed, unwilling to see if my theory was correct. That was still something I didn’t want to see. The life leaving Lilah and the body she was possessing – I definitely didn’t want to see that either.

It wasn’t until there was a bright flash of light that managed to penetrate even my closed eyelids, that I finally opened my eyes. Aside from Dream-Joshua standing in front of me, watching me, a look of understanding there, we were alone in the darkness. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me. The action surprised me enough to make me tense up, but his hands across my back radiated heat I desperately sought. I relaxed into him, finding more warmth there. “I think we should get out of here now,” Joshua said slowly, his breath tickling my ear. Before I could agree, the room faded out and we were back in familiar territory: his bedroom. “Thank you,” he said.

I pulled back, frowning up at his dark blue eyes. “But I haven’t told you what she said,” my voice started to croak. “At the end.”

“Is it important?” he asked me.

I blinked. “She told me that by killing her, and by killing Paige, I had allowed Lucifer to rise!” I told him, my voice finally breaking.

“I guess not,” he muttered, starting to pull me back to him.

I resisted. “How can you say that?” I demanded.

Joshua gave me a smile. “Because that’s not what’s bothering you, darlin’,” he informed me.

I froze and stared up at him, eyes wide. “Of course it bothers me. I killed someone and released Lucifer. As in the devil,” I added, as though he didn’t know who Lucifer was. Judging from the lack of worry on his face, I was beginning to suspect that maybe he didn’t.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong,” he said. “I know that upsets you. But it’s not the real reason you’re so upset.” I glared up at him, speechless. Somehow he seemed to know what I was trying to find the words to say to him. “The thing that bothers you, that is causing you so much pain, is not that you killed, not that you killed to protect someone you care about,” he added. “It’s the fact that you know you would do it again in a heartbeat.”

I wanted to deny it. I wanted to yell at him, to hit him. But I couldn’t. The fact was… he was right. He had realized something that even I hadn’t been fully aware of. I stared at him, dumbfounded, my mouth hanging open. I probably looked like a complete moron, but the way he was looking at me then had me frozen. I quickly shook my head and took a step back. “So what’s up with you? Why do you keep acting like what I did was meaningless?” I asked. I wanted to know the answer, but I also needed to change the subject.

“What do you mean?” Joshua asked, looking genuinely puzzled.

“As you said, I killed someone to protect you,” I said, the words sounding thick and heavy. “And yet, you seem to be going out of your way to be reckless and stupid. I spent six weeks without you giving me a cause for concern and now I’m out trying to help you every other day.”

“I’m not doing great at work,” Joshua admitted. “Asmodeus wasn’t impressed with what happened, and he’s been on at me to close out more cases. Leon got his ass handed to him because of what happened to me, so I decided I would pull in the extra hours. It’s not fair that Leon should get punished because of me.”

“I think he’d rather be punished than see you dead,” I pointed out. “I know I would.”

“Is that why you’re trying to keep away from me, darlin’? To punish yourself?”

Was I? I narrowed my eyes. “I asked the question, Joshua.”

Joshua frowned. “Fine. He doesn’t have a guardian angel, and I do.”

I took another couple of steps backwards, holding my hands up. “Whoa,” I cried. “That is not how this works,” I informed him. “You don’t get to make stupid decisions which put your life in danger because you think a guardian angel is going to turn up.”

“It gets you to turn up though,” he said, calmly.

“And then you accuse me of stalking you!” I exclaimed.

“Because that’s the only time you do show up.”

I sucked in a deep breath. “And what about the beer?”

Joshua shrugged. “I like a bottle in the evening.”

“A bottle, or a couple of six-packs, because you’ve had more than one bottle there,” I told him.

“Now you’re judging me on my drinking habits?” I gave him a pointed look. “Maybe I had company,” he suggested.

“Did you have company?” I shot back. Joshua slowly shook his head. “Okay, this ends now. All of it. You’re going to stop acting like a reckless idiot and acknowledge that your life is important. Then you’re going to quit drinking so much. If you want a beer when you get home, have one. But don’t go drinking so much that you end up lying on a bathroom floor.”

* * *

It was late when I returned to the convent. I had left Joshua’s dream after he had promised to look after himself better, hoping he would remember his words when he woke up. If not, I had to make things easier for him. It was time to bite the bullet and speak to Michael about assigning someone to Joshua, sooner rather than later. Equally as important, Michael needed to turn off the connection I had with Joshua.

I knocked softly on Michael’s door. He opened it moments later, looking surprised to see me. I couldn’t blame him: it was after two. Apparently I had woken him. He was dressed only in a pair of green pajama bottoms. Awkward.

“Is something wrong?” he asked me, alert despite the time.

I scratched at the back of my head. This probably could have waited until the morning. “I need you to turn Radio Joshua off.”

“Radio Joshua?” he repeated.

“You know,” I shrugged. “The connection with Joshua that I have?”

Michael cocked his head. “Why would I turn that off?”

“So I stop turning up on his doorstep every time he stubs his toe,” I shrugged. “That’s the other thing. I shouldn’t be his guardian angel anymore, but you really need to find a replacement for me. It shouldn’t be that hard to find someone more capable than me.”

“What makes you think you’re done being his guardian angel?” Michael asked carefully.

“Because of what happened at Six Flags,” I told him, unable to physically point out that Joshua was a key which had been used to release Lucifer.

“I’m sorry to disappoint you,” Michael told me, sounding anything but. “I have yet to be informed that he has accomplished his goal, Angel. The fact that you still are tuned in to him, to Radio Joshua, as you put it – that’s proof enough.”

I took a deep breath. “You need to give me a new charge. You need to find Joshua a new guardian angel.”

“Why?” Michael demanded, staring at me, his eyes narrowed.

“I’m not… I… Joshua nearly died because of me. I am not ready to be responsible for somebody’s safety, for somebody’s life.”

“No.”

“I… What?” I stared up at him.

“Joshua is your charge,” Michael said firmly. “You do not get to pick and choose, and you cannot return him like an unwanted sweater. I suggest you spend less time worrying about Lucifer, and more time honing your skills. Goodnight, Angel.” He shut the door, his decision final.

I stared at the closed door in a dazed silence. Joshua was still my charge? Too stunned to sleep, I made my way outside to get some air. I spotted Paddy walking across the parking lot as I walked into the gardens. “You’re up late. Is everything okay?” she asked me as she grew close.

“I can’t sleep,” I replied, waiting for her to join me. “Just trying to work out why my charge is still my charge.”

Paddy gave me a wistful smile. “Don’t hold your breath on figuring that out. The chances are it will only become apparent once it has happened. Raphael and I didn’t work it out until after we had banished the Plague of Snakes.”

“Can I ask you about that? Please?” I begged. “Not about Lucifer, I promise,” I added, when I saw she looked like she was going to say no.

Paddy blew out a breath and shrugged. “I will answer what I can. Let’s go for a walk. It’s a lovely night.” I followed Paddy in silence. She led me back out of the gates and around the block to a small park. The streets surrounding it had passing foot traffic, as well as noise spilling out from the various bars, but the park itself was deserted. We took a seat on a bench, and I waited impatiently for Paddy to say something.

When she didn’t, I sighed. “Okay, I get they’re not trying to raise Lucifer,” I said eventually. “Or they may be
trying
, but they can’t achieve it. Either way, I am out in the city, and my charge is a detective. I need to keep both safe, and I can’t do that if I’m not being told everything. I can help you keep an eye on things.”

It took a long time for Paddy to look at me, but eventually her eyes met mine. “When I first encountered them, the world was a different place. It was simpler,” she told me. “The world was flat, this country hadn’t been discovered, and the biggest problem we had was illness rather than how many likes our Facebook posts got.”

“You have Facebook?” I blurted out, unable to stop myself. Michael didn’t have a computer, and here I was talking to one of the most famous saints and she knew what Facebook was.

The question was answered with an unimpressed look. “There was a simple way of looking at things back then: if things were going right, God was rewarding our goodness. If things were going wrong, Lucifer was to blame.”

“That sounds about right,” I muttered, rolling my eyes.

Paddy gave me a sad smile. “Actually, back then, a lot could be blamed on Lucifer,” she frowned. “Not Lucifer, but certainly the Fallen.” Her eyebrows knitted closer together. “Cupid told me your angelic history is somewhat lacking.”

I winced. “I know bits,” I admitted. “I just… my parents died when I was young and I found it hard to believe God could take such wonderful people out of this world.”

Paddy nodded, giving me a sympathetic look. “Lucifer fell because he committed the original sin. Others followed him, for a variety of reasons, but there was one who fell because he believed he too was superior to mankind, and that mankind should worship him too. He wanted to show God that he was worthy of as much praise and adoration as his father. His name was Beelzebub.”

“I thought Beelzebub was another name for Lucifer,” I asked, a vague memory appearing.

“Beelzebub is to Lucifer what Cupid is to Michael: his second in command,” Paddy explained with a shake of her head. “Only, they were what you would call BFFs, rather than just brothers.”

“They were
what
?” I asked, leaning back against the bench.

Instead of rolling her eyes at me, this time Paddy grinned. “I get that I might look old to you, but I do know what a BFF is.”

“You don’t look old. You
are
old,” I blurted out. I quickly clamped my hand over my mouth, wishing that I could learn to think before speaking.

“Okay, I may have a few centuries on you,” Paddy agreed. “But compared to Raphael, I’m a teenager,” she said. Thankfully, she was taking this with good humor. “The truth is, I died officially when I was twenty-six, and since then I’ve always felt that age.”