Angel Baby (10 page)

“It could have been. Except for me.”

The bitterness in her voice was countered by the moisture in
her eyes. Grabbing a tissue from a box on the desk, he handed it to her
awkwardly.

“My stepfather and my mother had been high school
sweethearts, but when he was off at college, she started seeing my father. They
got married when they found out I was on the way.”

Chase nodded, saying nothing, not wanting to interrupt the
purging of painful memories.

“My father died when I was two...an accident at the rail
yard where he worked. My mother married her old boyfriend less than a year
later. And they started their happily ever after, with one unfortunate reminder
of my mother’s indiscretion.”

“You.”

“Exactly.”

“I take it your stepfather wasn’t kind?”

“It wasn’t that he was unkind,” Claudia explained haltingly.
“I don’t quite know how to explain it. There were moments, especially when I
was older, that I would catch him staring at me with this unhidden resentment.
But I can honestly say that he never abused me, never even raised his voice to
me, for that matter. There was a time when I became extremely rebellious, I
guess because subconsciously I
wanted
him to yell at me, to show some
kind of emotion. But he never did. I was there, he couldn’t change that, so he
did the best he could to ignore my existence.”

Chase gritted his teeth, wondering at how any man could be
so callous, especially to the bright-eyed, freckle-face cutie he’d seen in the
picture on Claudia’s desk at the office.

“And your mother? What did she do during all this?”

Chase saw Claudia’s jaw clench, tears threatening to spill
from her eyes. Her lips trembled and her hands shook. Chase was unable to
maintain his cool distracted air. Slipping his fingers into her hair, he gently
cupped her head, stroking her temple with his thumb. She seemed pleased at the
contact. Rather than pulling away, she pressed her face into his palm. Her
translucent flesh was gossamer soft beneath his rough fingers, and he felt the
pounding of her pulse. Glancing down, he noticed she closed her eyes briefly as
she drew in a deep breath.

“She did nothing,” Claudia said on a sigh. “She loved me, I
don’t really doubt that. But I believe she’d already lost him once, when she
got involved with my father, and she wasn’t going to let anyone come between
them again...including her child. So I always knew he came first. When they
left for Oregon, it was no surprise.”

Chase didn’t say anything for a few moments, just quietly
continued to stroke her skin and curl his fingers in her hair. He sensed the
moment her mood changed from melancholy to something else. He felt, rather than
saw, her head shift ever so slightly as if enjoying the feel of his touch.
Watching her as she again pressed her cheek into his open palm, Chase heard her
small moan as he slid his callused hand against the softness of her skin. Then,
slower still, she tilted her head back and gradually opened her eyes to stare
deeply into his.

Chase could no more resist kissing her than a struggling
moth could resist dancing closer and closer to a bright burning flame. Keeping
his fingers curled in her soft hair, he slowly leaned toward her, eyes never
breaking their intense contact, until his mouth met hers in a caress as gentle
as a lover’s whisper. 

Her mouth softened, molded against his own, and their
breaths mingled. Chase pressed closer and Claudia responded by silently sliding
her lips apart, inviting him, cajoling him. Again, he could not resist her, and
he gently tasted her with his tongue. She tasted sweet and lemony from the tea,
as intoxicating as any flavor he’d ever savored. Tilting his head, Chase
pressed his mouth more fully over hers and deepened the kiss. He heard her soft
moan, and felt the instant when comfort turned to full desire for she pushed up
against him and met his tongue with her own. 

Chase was overwhelmed with need for her—physical need. But
even more disturbing was his desire to comfort her, to protect her, to awaken
the passion he sensed in her. Just as strong, however, was the feeling of
disgust...for himself.
How could he take advantage of the painful memories
of this vulnerable young widow?

Pulling his mouth away from hers, Chase yanked his hand from
her hair. Ignoring the confusion and sudden embarrassment he saw cross her
face, he turned his back and exited the room.

“That was a bad idea,” he muttered as he slammed out the
front door and walked out of his own house.

“How could I have let him kiss me?” Claudia groaned aloud as
she rolled over for about the thirtieth time that night in her bed.

And, for about the thirtieth time, she allowed herself to
silently think the other question that had plagued her all afternoon.
Why
did he stop?

He’d never intended to kiss her, she was certain. Surely his
tender ministrations had never been intended to lead to intimacy. It was
just...with his hands on her skin, and his body so close to hers that she could
see each individual hair on his forearm, she had been unable to avoid looking
at him with all the liquid desire she felt for the man. How could he not have
responded to such a blatant invitation?

“Idiot,” she muttered as she punched the pillow.

Even as she cursed herself for her stupidity, Claudia paused
to remember the feel of Chase Paxton’s mouth on hers. His kiss had been
exquisite. The intimacy of kissing was more delicious than she’d remembered,
and Claudia suddenly realized just how much she’d missed it. Touching and
stroking were wonderful, too, but there was just something so deliciously
erotic about a deep, sensuous kiss.

Glancing at the clock, Claudia saw it was after two, and
knew there was no chance of falling asleep anytime soon. Quietly leaving her
bed, she grabbed a silk robe and made her way across the hall to Sarah’s room.

Sarah lay on her side, with her arms cradling her head and
her knees drawn up. Claudia gently stroked her back, and brushed a few fine
curls from her forehead. The baby sighed and mumbled in her sleep, and Claudia
smiled gently as she watched her for several long moments. Watching Sarah sleep
gave her such pleasure. In the soft glow of the night light, she could easily
make out the few freckles already sprinkling on that pert nose, and understood
what people meant when they compared lips to rosebuds, because Sarah’s little
mouth was as perfect as any bloom.

She spent many evenings this way, staring in wonder at the
little person she’d helped create. Not for the first time, she wished someone
was here with her, wrapping his arms around her waist as she leaned back
against his strong chest, while they quietly contemplated the miracle sleeping
in the crib. Only now, on this night, she allowed herself to imagine that it
was Chase’s arms that held her, his lips that brushed against her hair as he
whispered how beautiful Sarah was.

“Stop it,” she whispered aloud in the darkness, nearly
cursing herself for imagining something that would never happen. No matter how
attracted she was to Chase, or to any other man, for that matter, none would
ever be put in a position of trying to play father to her child. Her own
childhood was one long unhappy memory and there was no way on earth Claudia
would ever allow Sarah to repeat it. She’d rather raise her daughter alone than
risk any man making her child feel unloved and unwanted...a nuisance reminder
of another man.

It would never happen.

Chase flicked the ash from the barely-smoked cigarette onto
the gravel of his driveway and glanced up at the star-lit sky. For some reason,
the smoke wasn’t having the calming effect he’d hoped it would. Of course,
since he hadn’t touched a cigarette in a couple of years, the brief coughing
fit could have had something to do with it. But, the shot of tequila he’d had
earlier in the evening hadn’t done a thing to relax him, either.

“Dammit,” he cursed aloud as he paced the driveway in the
middle of the night.

He couldn’t stop thinking about Claudia. Ever since he’d
held her this afternoon, had finally kissed that sensuous mouth, he’d been able
to think of nothing else.

He wanted her. Hours later, he still throbbed with wanting
her. But there was no way in hell he could have her. He’d remembered that about
two seconds after putting his lips on hers...as if he had ever really
forgotten.

Claudia Warren was the most vulnerable person he’d ever
known. The bright sheen in her eyes and the slight shake in her hand whenever
her husband was mentioned made it perfectly clear that she still mourned him
deeply. The woman had a young baby to worry about. The last thing she’d be
looking for was a brief affair. But a brief affair was about all he'd ever been
interested in offering any woman. He didn’t see that changing anytime soon. He
wasn’t cut out for long-term commitment. His parents’ genes were too strong for
that.

His feet obviously weren't listening to the silent musings
going on in his brain. Before he even acknowledged he was moving, Chase found
himself walking through the small copse of trees between his house and hers. He
knew he couldn’t fight the impulse driving him forward.

Maybe seeing the cottage would do him some good. That quaint
little home his grandparents had built in hopes that one day their wayward
teenage daughter would come home to stay was a perfect illustration of how
foolish it was to put too much faith in love. He couldn't imagine the pain his
grandparents must have endured knowing their pregnant sixteen year old child
had run away to marry a biker.

"I'm sorry, Dorien," he muttered, "for the
pain she put you through."

Standing silently along the edge of the lawn, Chase stared
at the upstairs window. He knew the layout of the house like the back of his
hand, he'd lived in it, after all, and was certain which room Claudia was in.
He imagined she was sleeping peacefully. Would that he were.

Claudia slipped out of Sarah’s room and stood indecisively
in the upstairs hallway. She knew she should try to go back to bed but also
knew sleep wouldn’t come. Hoping a cup of tea would help relax her, she headed
downstairs. 

After brewing her tea, she flipped on the porch light and
went outside. The evening air was still warm, thick with smells of earth and
the jasmine curling on the trellis beneath the porch.  Slipping into the
rocking chair, she sat back, sipped her tea, and stared toward Chase’s house.
Gradually, in the darkness, a small light became obvious, and she studied it
until she realized it was the glowing tip of a cigarette.

Chase Paxton stood a few yards from her house, leaning
indolently against a tree, smoking and watching her in the night.

Chase knew the moment she saw him. He’d been standing so
silently, watching in disbelief as she slipped out of her house, wrapped in a
silky robe which clung to her every curve. The full moon reflected the
highlights in her hair and her shimmering robe sparkled like a beacon. He’d
about cursed himself for a voyeur when she’d spotted him.

His first impulse was to run. Just get the hell away and
forget today had ever happened. Let the widow go on with her mourning, and he
could find some other less vulnerable woman to ease the physical need plaguing
him lately.

But Chase Paxton was no coward.

Silently, he slipped from the trees and approached the
porch. She stopped rocking, but didn’t get up. Reaching the porch, he flicked
his cigarette on the ground and crunched it beneath his heel. He placed his
foot on the top step and leaned over, resting his elbow on his raised knee.

“What are you doing here?” she asked finally when he still
didn’t say a word.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

She nodded, and resumed her rocking.  The fact that it was
the middle of the night, and they sat outside with her in her robe, was disconcerting
enough. In addition, a heavy silence settled between them, and Claudia had no
idea what to say.

Finally, unable to stand it any longer, she asked, “Can I
get you some tea?”

He laughed softly, as if recognizing her need to fill the
silence, and said, “No, I don’t want tea.”

She watched as he rubbed his fingers together, and rocked a
little on the step. He didn’t look at her, but didn’t appear to be trying to
avoid catching her eye, either. His stark profile was totally illuminated in
the full moonlight, and Claudia studied him completely, noting the tense
clenching of his jaw, and the stiff set of his mouth.

“What
do
you want, Chase?”

It was a loaded question. She knew it even as the words left
her lips, but she couldn’t take them back. Her breath stuck in her throat as
she watched him straighten slowly and stare her right in the eyes. Slowly, he
shook his head from side to side, as if debating how to answer.

Claudia didn’t question the impulse that came over her.
Rising slowly from the chair, she stood and walked across the porch toward him.
He stood two steps below her, and she fought her own anxiety as she stepped
down to meet him. He still didn’t move, and she descended again, stopping just
inches from him so that her hip was nearly touching the inside of his thigh.
Gently, she placed the palm of her hand over his chest. She felt his heart
pounding beneath the thin cotton of his shirt.

“Why did you come here?” she whispered, daring him to tell
her the truth.

“Why did
you
come here?” he countered.

His voice was accusatory, as if he was angry with her for
disturbing his ordered life. She nearly smiled, but before she was able, he
moved forward and caught her lips in a sudden kiss.

If their kiss that morning had been comfort turning to sweet
seduction, this one was driven by pure desire. Claudia didn’t hesitate. Sliding
her hands up and over his shoulders, she pulled him closer as his lips urged
hers apart and his tongue licked hungrily at hers. He seemed unable to get
enough of her, and turned his head to fit his mouth more perfectly over hers.
She felt his excitement. His obvious arousal pressing against her lower body
sent a surge of pure energy through her and she moaned.