Angel After Dark (25 page)

“You miss him.” It wasn’t a question, his expression understanding.

“All the time.” Angel wasn’t eating much of her dinner and it didn’t go unnoticed by the man beside her. He could see her mind whirling behind her furrowed brow as she watched her fork push her food around the plate. “Alex… about this—”

He sat back in his chair a little, not liking where he knew her words were headed. “Angel, are we having fun?”

“Fun isn’t the issue,” she dropped off quietly. “Is it?”

Alex was unsure what to say, wondering how this woman, who always had words aplenty, seemed at a loss in the current moment. “Isn’t it?”

She reached for the wine to refill their glasses. “Is it?”

He picked up his glass and concentrated on the liquid as he swirled it in a miniature cyclone, carefully considering his words.

“Why did you agree to dinner the other night if you didn’t want to know more? Would I be here if you don’t enjoy my company?”

Her eyes flashed to his face. “I do. But—”

“What are you afraid of?”

“Nothing!” Angel answered quickly and then bit her lip. “I’m just realistic, Alex.”

“What are you trying to say, Angel? Just spit it out.”

“Okay. If you want to fuck for the sake of fucking, I can do it for a while. But if you want to get to know me, we can’t have sex.” She shrugged and smiled, her brows arching in challenge.

Alex pushed his plate away as he burst out laughing. “What? Intimacy on only one level at a time, eh?”

“Sex isn’t intimacy.”

Alex instantly sobered. “It is with us.” His green eyes bore into hers, unflinchingly daring her to dispute him. “You’re afraid of me, Dr. Hemming.”

“No, I’m realistic.” She knew she was lying to herself and to him. “I don’t believe in what you represent. However, against my better judgment, I find you very—” she looked away. “—you’re charming and likeable, even though my brain screams you’re a womanizer. So if we want to be mutual users for a while, fine.”

Alex paused, the laughter dying in his chest. “Is that truly how you see me? I thought I’d been clearer.”

“I get it. After knowing you a little better, I understand more. I don’t necessarily agree with your arrangements but I can see your point of view, even if it still differs from mine.”

“What differs? We’re attracted to each other, and we enjoy our time together. Can we just let what happens, happen?”

“Nope.”

“Nope? That’s it?”

“We
can’t
let it happen. I’m attracted to you. Not gonna lie. You’re funny and charming and all the wonderful shit dreams are made of; except one thing. You don’t
feel
. Call me crazy. That’s huge.” She flitted between the dining room and the kitchen as she methodically cleared the table, ranting as she went. Alex was amused and mesmerized.

“Do you dream of me, Angel? And I do feel. I love my dog.”

Lucky damn dog.
“Shut up and focus.”

Alex grinned and a big smile split out on Angel’s face, even though she was trying to be serious. He thought she was the most beautiful, sexiest thing he’d ever seen, glasses and all.

He cleared his throat and sat up straighter, mocking her. “Yes, ma’am.”

“I don’t know if I trust you.”

Alex shut his mouth and looked at her. He knew closing the deal meant shutting down the argument that sprung to his lips. Angel cocked her head.

“I know you could just be messing with me to get me back for the ridiculous notion I made that twit breakup with you, but let me assure you, it wasn’t me… it was you.”

“Okay. It was me,” he agreed good-naturedly.

Angel stopped and glanced back over her shoulder on her last trip to the kitchen, to roll her eyes at him.

“You’re agreeing with me? So you will tell me, Alex Avery, what the fuck you’re up to.”

“Okay.” This time it was softer and more persuasive. Her steps slowed on her way back.

“Okay? It was that easy?”

“Yes,
okay
.” His expression was sardonic, amused. “Let’s take the wine and go in the other room, and I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

*****

Two hours, two bottles of wine, and lots of laughter later, the two of them ended up on some big pillows on the floor in front of her sofa, on their sides face-to-face and their feet tangled.

Quiet and serious, Alex’s hand finally reached out to touch her, pushing a tendril back behind her ear. She closed her eyes as the back of his knuckles brushed across her cheekbone. She drew in a long breath, reveling in the wonder of the sensation. It was light, warm… electric.

“Alex,” she began as her eyes found his.

“Shhh… you said I could touch a little.” His open
 
palm moved over her shoulder and then, with slight squeezing massage, down her arm. It was dark with only the glow of the muted television to cast a blue glow around the room. His eyes were darker and more intense. Maybe it was desire that filled his gaze, and she found herself hoping… wanting, her body involuntarily leaning toward his.

“Angel, tell me who did that to you in college,” he said it softly, but his tone was demanding. “Who could hurt you like that?”

“How do you know? I mean…” Angel began to withdraw, but his hold tightened, keeping her close.

Alex shrugged slightly and his brow furrowed. The muscle in his jaw twitched. “I just know. Just tell me who it was, so I can kill the motherfucker.”

Angel’s eyes stung with tears as they began to glisten. Alex hadn’t moved other than to keep rubbing her arm and to finally bring her hand up to his mouth for a soft, open-mouthed kiss on the inside of her wrist.

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. Trust me.” His fingers continued over the flesh of her arm and shoulder, up behind her neck as he applied gentle pressure and squeezed.

Angel saw understanding and sadness in Alex’s eyes that propelled her to share something that she’d never told anyone, save Becca.

“No.” She shook her head. The waver in her voice broke as a tear slid from each eye. “I mean I trust you. But I can’t tell you who it was. I don’t know.”

Confusion filled his features. “What? How?”

“I told you. I was drugged. Ruffies. I don’t remember any part of it. Except the next morning. I woke up in a bedroom alone, missing my clothes and…”

Alex’s chest was feeling constricted and fire rushed under his skin. “And?”

“And, there was blood.”

He sighed heavily and leaned his forehead against hers, his hand coming up to cup her cheek. “I’m so, so sorry. You should be worshiped, not abused. Sweetheart, I’m sorry.”

“Stop,” she whispered. “You didn’t do it. I’m sorry about it, too, but at least I don’t remember experiencing it. If it hadn’t happened, my life would be different, and I would have made different choices. I wouldn’t be helping anyone.”

Alex studied her face, searching her expression for anything that would signify she was telling the truth about reconciling with it. He was speechless as he stared into her glittering brown eyes, and then moved a soft strand of hair back behind her ear. She was so strong. Alex felt his admiration for her grow even more.

Angel was hungry from his touches, yearning for more even as her brain fought for control.

“After that, I changed. I took self-defense classes, threw myself into school, and shut-out everyone. Until I met Becca. She had so much bravado and guys didn’t fuck with her. She encouraged me to join the band.” Angel paused as realization dawned on Alex.

“Ahh… so you
are
a professional,” he teased lightly in an attempt to comfort her and ease the tightness in his own chest.

Her eyebrows rose and she smiled as he brushed her chin with his fingertips. “Not at all. It was something I did to be in control of men. I was untouchable, if you will. I could get up on that stage and be someone else. Soon, I became that person.”

“What happened to the band?”

“They’re still together. I talk to them from time to time.”

“Help me understand why you’re not still playing with them. You’re a natural. So good,” he said softly.

Angel’s hand finally reached toward him almost against her will and her fingers brushed his jaw. The stubble was short but sharp, and she knew if he kissed her, the soft skin of her face would feel the sting. It didn’t matter, she wanted it; images of the night before painting vivid pictures and making her body open and moisten. The
 
desire was overwhelming as she scooted closer.

“Mmm… okay, so, we’ve figured out that we’re both
good
. So where does that leave us?”

Alex’s body quickened at her touch and words, his arms sliding
 
around her, drawing her close to his body. He wanted her. There was no denying it. She sucked him in like a moth to a flame, and for the first time, he didn’t care if he burned into nothingness.

“Wanting. Aching.” The answer was simple. He watched her eyes, and then as her hot, sweet breath washed his face, his eyes dropped to her mouth. When Angel’s little pink tongue came out to caress her upper lip, he gave up. “Ughhh.”

“Kiss me,” she commanded softly, her mouth tilting up to reach for his, and her eyes began to close seductively.

“I promised myself I wouldn’t go there tonight, Angel. More importantly, I promised
you.
”

“What were the words you used last night? Just a little taste?” she reminded him as their mouths hovered together and her nose nudged his.

“Yes, and look where that ended up.”

“Mmmm…” Her voice was tempting, pulling him down, her breath hot against his lips. “Do you regret it?”

“Would I be here if I did?” His index finger slid down the curve of her face.
So fucking gorgeous
.

Angel reached up and pulled her glasses off, haphazardly flinging them up on the couch. “So don’t regret this either, then.”

They stared at each other without flinching, each silently daring the other to be the one to break the moment or be the one to give in. He wanted to, so much his breath hitched in his throat.

Alex hesitated a little too long. She pushed away from him and started to get up in a scramble of limbs. “Angel…”

“For Christ’s sake!” she muttered in embarrassment as she struggled against the arms that had now closed around her to halt her flight. “Stop! If I have to force you, just—let go!”

“What the hell? I’m trying to show you this is different!” Alex quickly rolled her beneath him and pinned her to the floor, his knees spreading hers apart and his arms caging her head. They were both breathing hard as she struggled to get free. “That
you
are different, Angel! Angel!”

She stopped dead and they held each other’s eyes, her look defiant and his slightly amused. She was embarrassed that she wanted this man so much that he could reduce her to the state of being on the verge of begging him to take her. She turned her head to the side to avoid his burning gaze.

“Now,” he said seriously, pressing his pelvis into hers and she was left in no doubt he wanted her. She surged up to meet him against her will. “Does it feel like I’m unaffected? I am so fucking turned on I can taste it, but I’m trying to show you that I’m not who you believe me to be. So please stop trying to seduce me. I’m only human.” He said the words, but his mouth found hers in a series of hungry kisses, and their bodies moved to create the friction they both craved. Angel’s mouth and body were alive under his, and her hands frantically pushed the material of his shirt up and away in search of the smooth skin and hard muscles of his back. Soon sounds of wet kisses and soft moans filled the room.

“This is hard enough as it is,” he moaned before coming back for another deep kiss. “I wish I knew what you really wanted.” His mouth dragged from hers as he spoke, the confusion he felt not enough to stop him from kissing her again.

Words were lost as their passion took over, panting heavily and rolling around on the floor, bodies grinding into each other. They knocked into the coffee table and sent the empty wine bottle clattering to the floor, followed
 
by the hallow sound of it rolling across the hardwood.

Alex pulled his hungry mouth from hers and pushed the hair, now free of the knot, back from her face in gentle strokes. Her mouth reached for his and he gave her what she wanted, because he wanted it, too. Again their tongues laved and thrust, mouths sucking on and devouring the other. It was magnificent perfection.

“Jesus.” His chest rose and fell heavily under her hand. “I need to leave.
Now
.”

Her leg hitched and wrapped around his waist in silent protest, and his hips answered hers. “I want you to stay.”

Alex closed his eyes as if he were in pain. “I have to go. I promised this wouldn’t happen, but it feels too damn good.” His lips found the soft skin beneath her ear and his open mouth left a fiery trail down the cord of her neck, while his hand clawed at the neck of her T-shirt and then moved down to cup a full breast.