Angel (A Companion Book to Monster) (Impossible #1.5) (4 page)

“I don’t-
”  Bradley began coldly.

“Don’t bother, Bradley,” I cut across him.  I forced my features to nonchalance, needing to defend her but not set Bradley off.  “There’s no need to do that.  You think I can’t handle one clearly fragile woman?”

I saw Claudia scowl at me out of the corner of my eye, but I kept my gaze locked on my friend.  He stood his ground, and she hissed in pain as he tightened his grip.

“You’re insulting me, buddy,” I said.  My tone was light and joking, but I knew that I hadn’t been successful in fully masking my fury.

I held back a sigh of relief when Bradley finally released her.  For a moment, Claudia looked at me gratefully, but her face was quickly schooled to a hard mask as her hatred for me came flooding back.

The sight of it
cut me to the core.

“I’ll be right outside,” Bradley told her threateningly as he left the room.  “If you try anything stupid, I’ll cuff you again.”

She swallowed hard, but that was the only physical sign that betrayed her fear.  She nodded and folded her arms across her chest in a show of defiance.  Despite her tough stance, she still looked so breakable that it made my heart hurt.

I wanted to distract her, to distract myself from the harsh reality of our situation.  I patted the bed beside me.

“Sit down, doc,” I ordered, struggling for a casual tone.  As though we were friends sitting down for a chat.  Only, I didn’t have any friends.  Well, no one other than Bradley.  And I was pretty sure that Claudia didn’t want to talk about tits and football.  So I would have to settle for talking to her like I did to all women: cocky bordering on rudeness.

She just glared at me, completely unaffected by my charms.  “I’d rather not,” she said drily.  “And I thought I told you to call me Dr. Ellers.”

Damn, this woman was spirited.  She was certainly going to keep me on my toes.  I couldn’t hold back a satisfied grin.  “Sit down, Claudia,” I re-phrased, giving her an inch.

And still, she held her glare.

God, she was cute when she tried to stare me down like that.  But she didn’t know what she was doing, what that defiant stance was awakening within me.  I couldn’t help chuckling, pleased at the challenge.  But I had forgotten about my goddamn shoulder, and I stopped laughing instantly.

“You should try not to laugh.  Avoid sudden movements,” she advised.

Okay, so maybe her bossy manner was cute, but talking down to me by stating the obvious went a little too far.  “No shit, doc,” I ground out.

She just frowned at me, her demeanor forbidding.

After a moment, I gave in, rolling my eyes.  “No shit,
Claudia
,” I corrected.  Then I yawned, suddenly exhausted.  “Your antagonism is wearing me out.  That can’t be good for my health,” I teased.

“That’s the oxycodone,” she explained.  Her tone was clinical, but there was a small smile playing around the corners of her mouth.  It made her dimple stand out in a way that I found adorable.  “You should rest more,” she said, her voice kind if a touch condescending.

“You’re a lot bossier than most of the women I find handcuffed to my bed, you know,” I joked.  Internally, I cursed myself as soon as the words had left my mouth.  Had I really just made a sexual innuendo?  Definitely not a good way to make her feel comfortable around me.  Not to mention that reminding her of the handcuffs was probably not the smoothest thing I could have done.  Even more unsettling, I had given her a glimpse into that darker side of myself by making the admission.

But for some reason, her lips only quirked up further.  So I kept my expression cool and confident in order to cover my moment of self-doubt.  I patted the bed beside me again.  “Now sit down,” I said more insistently.  “Watching you stand there all tense is making me tired.”

“You
should
be tired,” she said, but she settled down beside me as though she couldn’t help herself.  Was it possible that she truly wasn’t frightened of me?  Still, I noticed that she was perched on the edge of the mattress, putting as much space between us as humanly possible.

“I won’t bite you, you know,” I cracked another joke to make her feel more at ease.  I turned up the charm a notch.  “Not unless you want me to, that is.  I’d be quite happy-”

“Not in a million years,” she said sharply, her expression turning quickly from amused to hostile.  “Now, before you go off into some drug-induced lucid fantasy, let’s get something straight: You are not to touch me in any way.  You may think that your eighth-grade flirting is cute, but it’s pretty fucked up considering that the
only
reason I’m in your bedroom is that you won’t allow me to leave.  So whatever your perverted little mind is imagining, don’t let your fantasy include me as a willing participant.”

Fuck. 
Why did I keep doing this?  Was it literally impossible for me to go five minutes without making a pass at her?  I was utterly off-balance when it came to her.  And now she had pretty much accused me of fantasizing about raping her.

The thought made me go cold.  It was all the more cutting because I
had
been fantasizing about her.  And some of those fantasies did involve her struggling against me as I held her down, taking her, forcing her to melt under my touch…

But never unwillingly.
  The mere idea of it made my stomach turn.

I couldn’t meet her eye.  What could I possibly say?  It seemed that I was incapable of saying anything to her without putting my foot in my mouth.  “Claudia, I....”  I trailed off, at a loss.

“You what, Sean?”  She asked angrily, hurling my name out like a curse.

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly, forcing myself to meet her eye.  I at least owed her that.  “I’m sorry I can’t let you leave.”  And I meant it.  Being trapped with me was clearly going to be a miserable experience for her.

“But you can,” she said, her eyes lighting up with hope as she sensed my weakness.  “I promise I won’t tell-”

“You just can’t, Claudia!”  The words came out harshly, my anger and frustration with
myself bleeding into them.  No, not just anger.  Rage.  Self-loathing.  My expression must have been intimidating because she scooted away from me as far as she could without falling off the bed.  I felt a flicker of regret as I realized that I was frightening her.  It was the last thing that I wanted, but maybe it was better that way.  I couldn’t keep fucking everything up every time I opened my mouth if she didn’t want to speak to me.

But then her back straightened, and she held her ground, her blazing eyes meeting mine in a silent challenge.  “You should get some rest,” she said, no trace of her earlier kindness in her tone.

She was glaring at me again, defiant.  That dark part of myself, the part of me that craved control, couldn’t help but rise in response.  I returned her stare, lust beginning to stir within me as her will clashed against mine.  But she would cede.  I wouldn’t allow her anything else.  I might admire her strength, but that made the idea of her submission all the sweeter.  She met the challenge for long moments, but then the telltale signs started to show: her eyes darkened, her pupils dilating as her breaths turned fast and shallow.  That delicious pink was coloring her cheeks again, further stirring the flames within me.  She shivered slightly, the effect of my bearing beginning to overwhelm her as something deep within her responded to me.  Her body began slowly inching towards mine, as though she was unable to help herself.  I reveled in the heady sensation of her bending to my will.

Her eyes widened suddenly, shock driving away the lust in their grey depths.  She jerked away from me, and the erotic tension that had been building between us was snapped abruptly.

God damn it! 
Hadn’t I just told myself that I was going to keep my distance, frighten her into staying away from me?  And now, what?  I was actively luring her in, drawing her under my power.  And she had reacted to me.  How was I possibly going to keep my distance when I knew that the attraction was mutual?  I had never felt such a strong pull towards a woman.  I couldn’t understand what it was about her that affected me so intensely.  Yes, she was beautiful, intelligent, and stubborn as hell.

Isn’t that reason enough? 
I asked myself.  But it was more than that.  Even if the rest of my life was utterly out of my hands, I always exercised iron control when it came to women.  I should be able to hold myself back.  Maybe it was the fact that her blood ran through my veins?  I could almost feel my heart beating in time with hers.  My gaze zeroed in on the delicate vein at her throat, which still pulsing faster than it should be.  I wanted to trace my tongue along the line of it, sink my teeth into the soft flesh where her neck met her shoulder…

I bit back a groan of frustration.

“You should get some rest,” she said again.  When she spoke, the husky tone in her voice hinted at residual desire.  The sound of it made my cock pulse.

“Claudia…”  I trailed off.  What was I going to say?

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to find the control that seemed to have utterly deserted me.  In the darkness, I found my pain again.  I almost welcomed it.  At least it overrode the ache of my carnal torment.  I focused on it, letting it consume me, letting it burn away all of my jumbled thoughts.

Before I knew what was happening, I was pulled under, the drugs mercifully kicking in and granting me release from this hellish new reality.

Agony exploded across my shoulder as his belt buckle lashed across my back, cutting into my skin as the weight of it caused pain to reverberate through my bones.  I cowered on the floor, curling into a ball to protect myself as best I could.  Tears were streaming down my face.  I was weak, pathetic.

Then she was between us
, shielding my body with hers.  But he didn’t stay his hand.  She screamed as the belt came down on her, hard and merciless.  He was hurting her again, she was sacrificing herself for my sake.  And there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I begged him to stop, hating myself for how desperate, how powerless I sounded.  But he didn’t.  It seemed to go on and on.  I looked up into my mother’s eyes
where she was crouching over me protectively.  They were deadened, no light left behind them.

Something warm was touching my hand, grasping it and pulling me up to my feet.  The heat of it seemed to scorch away the images that haunted me, d
riving away the sight of my tortured past with a blinding white light.  I basked in the glow, all the tension leaving me.

I breathed in the scent of cotton and roses.

Safe.

Chapter 3

As I stirred, I breathed in that intoxicating feminine scent.  Her soft, warm body was pressed up against mine.  My already semi-hard cock pulsed as I responded to her instantly.  I heard her let out a little happy sigh, and for that moment between sleep and wakefulness, I was perfectly content.

The mattress shifted suddenly, jarring me awake.  I opened my eyes, and my gaze was drawn to her like a magnet.  She was sitting up stiffly, her back pressed against the headboard.  And she was staring, wide-eyed, at the obvious bulge in my jeans.  Her tongue darted out to lick her lips, and I had to suppress a groan at the sight of it.

Shit.

I felt a moment of embarrassment, ashamed at getting an erection in her presence. 
Especially when the sight of my arousal was probably the most terrifying thing that I could inflict upon her. But damn it if she didn’t look turned on at the sight of me.

I had no idea what to say.  It wasn’t as though I could gloss over it and move on with a new topic of conversation; the proverbial elephant would still very much be in the room.  My best option was to address it directly and make light of it.

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s rude to stare?”  I teased her.

Her eyes snapped to mine, startled, and her cheeks flamed red.  I couldn’t hol
d back a grin at the sight.  Watching her react to me was sweet enough, but her mortification was what really enflamed my desire.  It made her seem so… innocent.  The thought of it made my mouth water.

“But I don’t mind, you know,” I continued lightly, letting her know that her wide-eyed fascination wasn’t something to be embarrassed about.

Just as her eyes were riveted to me, mine were drawn to her as well.  As I studied her, I realized that she was wearing my clothes.  They swallowed her tiny frame, but the curve of her breasts was still visible beneath my white t-shirt.  If she hadn’t been wearing a bra, I would have been able to see her dusky pink nipples through the thin fabric.  The sight of her wearing my clothes made me immensely satisfied for some reason that I couldn’t quite understand.

When my gaze flicked back up to her face, I found her scowling in response to my scrutiny.

“Well I
do
mind,” she snapped.  “What have I told you about your sordid little fantasies?  They’re totally fucked up.”   

Damn it.

I had been trying to put her at ease, not make her feel even more threatened.  Some of my hunger for her body must have shown through when I was studying her.  She pulled away from me, recoiling in disgust, but my hand shot out to grasp her wrist possessively, stopping her short.

“Claudia…”  I said her name stupidly, once again having no idea what I wanted to say to her.

She jerked against my grip.  “Don’t touch me,” she hissed.

But I didn’t release her; I couldn’t.  I needed to explain.

Explain what? 
That the feel of her delicate wrist held fast in my grip felt far better than it ought to? That it made me want to hold her down and fuck her senseless? 

She was glaring at me pointedly, her mental resolve making up for her physical weakness.  I forced myself to let her go, to withdraw from the delicious heat of her skin, so soft against my calloused palms.

As soon as I released her, she was on her feet, pacing back and forth in the small space not taken up by the bed.  Her eyes were a bit wild, and I hated to see her so distressed.

“Claudia?”  I said her name gently, trying to snap her out of whatever dark thoughts were plaguing her.  She didn’t respond.  Well, I wasn’t going to stand for that.  I wasn’t just going to lie here and watch her go to pieces.  “Claudia,” I spoke more insistently this time, my tone demanding an answer.  “What’s wrong?”

Her expression was furious as she rounded on me.  “What’s
wrong?!
”  She shrieked.  Panic and fury were warring in her eyes.  “I’ve been kidnapped by a horny jackass, that’s what’s wrong.  One who doesn’t seem to have any plans to let me go.  Ever.  So, what, am I supposed to just be fine with it when you make a pass at me when I can’t get away?  Am I supposed to be fine with it when you get wood and then leer at me like that?”

Her accusations hit too close to home.  I
was
acting like a “horny jackass,” a kid who couldn’t keep it in his pants.  And no, I didn’t have any plans to let her go.  I was going to keep her trapped here with me indefinitely, until we both went mad from sexual repression.  Yes, I knew now that I wasn’t the only one who felt the attraction.  And that just made it that much harder for me to hold back. 

The situation was shitty, but what choice did I have?  Would she rather I let her die?

“Listen, doc,” I snapped, letting anger and frustration get the better of me.  “Your options are either Bradley insists on killing you, or you stay here indefinitely.  I went with option B.  Sorry if that gets your panties in a bunch, but the way I see it, I saved your life.”  I was on the defensive now.  How was I supposed to resist her when she made it clear that she wanted me as well? 

“And I’m going to get morning wood,” I told her.  “I’m a red-blooded man; of course I’m going to get a hard-on if I wake up with a beautiful woman pressed against me.”  Childishly, I shifted some of the blame on her.  “And I don’t recall forcing you to
cuddle
with me.”

She gasped in disbelief, evidently stunned that I would dare
to turn the tables on her.

“
I’m
the one who saved
your
life, in case you don’t recall,” she said acidly.  “All you did was take my life away from me.  Sure, I’m still breathing, but what am I supposed to do?  Stay locked in this room forever?  What kind of life is that?”

I was furious.  “What do you want from me?”  I knew that my intense frustration with myself must have bled into my tone, because she took a small step back.  I didn’t want to scare her, but I couldn’t suppress my anger.  If only I could explain to her that I was keeping her here for her own good…

But I couldn’t bring myself to tell her.  The idea of seeing the disdain in her eyes if she discovered that I was one of the violent Westies was unbearable.

“I can’t let you go, but I won’t let you die,” I said tersely.  “That’s the best I can offer you.”

But she didn’t understand.  Of course she didn’t.  “How magnanimous,” she spat.  “If you really weren’t some kind of twisted monster, you would let me go.”  There was a desperate, pleading edge to her voice.  It made my heart twist.

Monster.
 
She didn’t know the half of it.

“This isn’t up for debate, doc,” I shouted at her, all of my frustration and self-loathing bubbling over.  “You’re not leaving.”

She turned from me quickly, but not before I saw her bottom lip quiver.

Fuck. 
Now I had made her cry.  I
was
the monster she accused me of being.

“Claudia?”  I said her name softly, regretfully.  I hated the thought that I had brought this strong woman to tears, when even Bradley holding her at gunpoint hadn’t broken her.

She just stood there silently, all of her muscles taut with the effort of suppressing her emotions.  I knew what she was doing, recognized the signs.  She was trying to bury the hurt, the fear.  As though if she could just contain it, it would go away.  But I knew what a burden that was, to carry around years of anguish behind walls so thick that nothing and no one could get through.

“Shit,” I cursed under my breath, pained at the sight of her desperate efforts to hold herself together.  “Claudia, I-”

I was cut off when Bradley burst into the room.  Before I could move a muscle, he was advancing on her, his face twisted into a snarl so horrible that I hardly recognized my friend.  He grasped her shoulders roughly, slamming her back against the wall.

“I thought I warned you no
t to upset him,” he snarled. 

“Bradley!”  I shouted at him, my tone authoritative.  But he ignored me.

He glowered down at her.  “Apologize,” he growled threateningly.

Her eyes were wide and fearful, but Bradley didn’t allow her a second to gather her thoughts.  He shook her hard, and I saw his fingers dig into her upper arms ruthlessly.  “Apologize!”  He demanded again, more harshly this time.

“I…”  She was gasping for air, trying to find her voice.  “I’m sorry.”

“Bradley, that’s enough.”  Although I could do little more than struggle up onto my elbows, I unleashed the full force of my menace upon him, willing him to leave her alone.  Claudia’s eyes found mine, and the terror in them only increased my fury.

Bradley seemed to sense the anger that was rolling off of me in waves, filling the small space.  He released her, rounding on me with a glare.  Who was this cruel man standing in my bedroom, terrorizing an innocent woman?  He certainly wasn’t anyone that I recognized.

“What is wrong with you?”  I demanded, not understanding what was happening to my friend. 
“Stop fucking doing that.  She’s not hurting me.  We just had a little disagreement, that’s all.  I can fight my own battles.”  My hands curled into fists as I took in Claudia’s pale face again.  “And I won’t allow you to abuse her.  Not after she saved my life.”

Bradley’s mouth hardened into a grim line, but after a moment he nodded jerkily.  “Fine,” he said curtly.  “She’s your responsibility then.  You’re the one who wants to keep her here, so you’re going to have to keep her in line.”

That suited me just fine.  As difficult as it was to be trapped in her presence without touching her, anything was better than seeing her tormented by my best friend.  “I’m pretty sure I can handle her,” I said coldly.

He held my furious glare, the two of us squaring off against one another as an unfamiliar, violent tension filled the air between us.

Then my stomach growled loudly, and all the aggression went out of Bradley instantly.  My concerned friend was back.  Could it really be that he was only treating her so badly out of loyalty to me?  If that was the case, then he was seriously misguided.  I knew that I was weakened from my injury, but any idiot could see that I would be able to handle Claudia easily even in my condition.  And I knew that I would never need to in any case.  She was far too gentle and compassionate to ever hurt anyone.  Even if she had looked like she wanted to kick me in the balls a few times.

“You should eat something,” Bradley said kindly.  “I’ll get you some food.”

I fixed him with a frown.  “Get something for Claudia too,” I demanded.

Bradley’s glare returned.  “I thought I just said she was your responsibility.”

Why was he being such a dick?  “Well,” I said, my voice tight with annoyance, “I can’t exactly take care of myself right now, so I’d appreciate it if you could help me out.”

His scowl deepened, but he gave another short nod before turning on his heel and leaving the room.  Claudia and I waited in silence, the only sounds coming from the kitchen as Bradley got some food together for us.  I wanted to say something to her, to apologize for what my friend had just done to her.  But even though she deserved an apology, I doubted that it would do much
to alleviate her hatred towards us.  Was “sorry” supposed to make it all okay?  Besides, I didn’t want to seem like I was siding with her over Bradley.  He might be completely out of control right now, but he was still my best friend, and I wasn’t going to invite her to start trash talking him again.

She chose the moment that Bradley entered the room to start bossing me around again.

“You should take some more pain killers after you eat,” she told me.

Annoyed, I rolled my eyes at her.  Although I found her authoritative air cute, I didn’t appreciate her trying to boss me around in front of Bradley. 
Especially because he might interpret it as an insult, and then he might go after her again.  And to be honest, my shoulder was hurting like a bitch, and I didn’t really feel like having to fight him right now.  “Yes, doc,” I said the nickname mockingly.  Although a part of me felt guilty for talking down to her, the indignant expression on her face was adorable.  Like an angry little kitten.  I had to suppress a smile.

I did my best to ignore the tension that infused the air around the three of us: Bradley’s barely-contained aggression, Claudia’s resentment, and my own frustration at the whole shitty situation.  So I tucked into my sandwich, watching my friend out of the corner of my eye for any signs of the madman inside of him bursting forth. 
And praying that Claudia wouldn’t say anything snippy about her sorry excuse for a meal.  I almost told Bradley off for not giving her enough food – the woman was tiny enough as it was – but it wasn’t worth disrupting the tenuous balance that we had attained for the moment.

When Claudia opened her mouth to speak, I held my breath, worried that her angry words would ignite the tension in the room like a powder keg.

“Ummm…” She said hesitantly, turning her eyes on me rather than Bradley.  I was surprised to see a touch of shame in them.  “Can I take a shower?”  She asked me, meekly.  Well, this was certainly a change.  I instantly softened towards her.  I knew that she had been uncomfortable enough in her own dirty clothes to resort to wearing mine.  Clearly, Bradley and I hadn’t put enough thought into the practicalities of having her live with us.