Angel (6 page)

I clear my throat and struggle to fill out the card, taking my time just like my mom taught me when the letters start to dance.  She never lost her patience with my reading and writing, made sure I was able to manage.  Luckily, the clerk’s sense of time is as wonky and he doesn’t seem to notice it takes me a lot longer than it should to complete the simple registration.

When I jab the completed information card toward him, he snatches it from me.  Then he wrestles to open up a drawer under the counter, mumbling something to himself.

He hands me the key. Not a key card, obviously. No, this is an actual brass key on one of those plastic ID rings with the room number.  This is barely a step above the Bates Motel.  Actually, I’m not even sure which I’d prefer.

We manage to finish our transaction without any more need for words, and I’m relieved.  I don’t know how most people do this, any of it.  I find it so exhausting just trying to interact with people, never mind when those people remind me of everything I’ve lost.

With a sigh, I remind myself that tomorrow is a new day.  Bigger paycheck next week.  New town. Fresh start.

No more Magnus.

My heart skips a beat, and I can’t decide if it’s from relief or some twinge of grief. I think I will miss him.  He made me feel special in an odd way.  When he was there with me, I felt like all his attention was focused on me.  I’ve never felt that before except from my mom.

Not even the stunning Andrea drew his eye, not once.  It was like he didn’t even see her when she would sashay by. And I’ve yet to see another male customer that could manage that.

It’s not that I think I’m ugly, not that I honestly think there is a standard by which that should be judged.  I’m just not much of anything.  Average.  Average hair, a little plump, plain face, quiet. I wouldn’t know how to flirt if you held a flame thrower to my nose.

I’d spent so much time with mom in the last five years, if it weren’t for Andrea I would have had no meaningful human contact at all. 

Unless you count Magnus.

And part of me wants to count Magnus.

But the larger part of me doesn’t because I’m not sure what is there to count.

I groan under my breath as I wiggle the key into the lock of room 112 and take in the stale scent of the brown carpet, damp-stained velvet accented wallpaper, and a general feeling of dread.

I perch on the end of the bed and stare at the square box of a TV, complete with foil wrapped antenna, certain that the faded floral comforter on the bed would never pass the body fluids black-light test.

So this is it.  Home sweet home.

_______________________________________________

MAGNUS

“W
estwood Gallery called.”  Cindy greets me with a smile as I step into the lobby of Renault Wines.  She’s taking messages from the after hours’ voicemail at the front lobby reception desk. “Angela or Anita or something.”  Cindy’s off-hand manner irritates me this morning.

It’s not even seven a.m. but we’re both the first ones here every day.  This may not be my life’s work, but I’m happy to be helping my sister achieve her dream.  She has a passion for wine, and since her second husband died two years ago from a brain tumor, she’s been slowly but surely rebuilding her life.

I’ve always had a deep paternal streak, a need to help and care for people.  Animals too, for that matter.  My sister has a good heart and hasn’t had the best of luck in life through no fault of her own.  Her first marriage ended in a divorce from a cheating asshole who I made sure understood the error of his ways before he disappeared at my direction. So using my business skills and anything else I’ve got to help her get this little venture up and running has come at the perfect time for us both.

The hairs on my arms tingle when she says the gallery called.  My dick also thickens and my balls jerk tight.  The mere mention of the gallery name has me needing a cold shower, and it wasn’t even her that called.

I correct my sister.  “Her name’s Andrea.  What was the message?”  I try to play it cool, but my sister’s got a line on me.

She smirks, picking up the piece of paper where she’s written down the message and regards it for a long moment before she speaks. “They called to say ‘why the hell don’t you just go and ask her out already?’  Or, I don’t know, marry her or whatever the hell the men in this family do on a first date.  Dad had Mom roped in and at the church two weeks after he met her.  What’s taking you so long?  This has been going on for months.  We don’t have any more wall space for all these posters you’re getting framed, Magnus.  Don’t pretend.  That day I went in there with you?  You practically drooled all over yourself when she came out to wait on us.  You’re gone for her, brother.  Be a man and go get what you want.”  She holds the paper out in my direction and raises an eyebrow.  “What you deserve.”

I ignore her editorial.  “What did they
actually
say?”  I try to hide my annoyance.

She lets out a long breath and pinches her lips to the side before answering. “They said they have a question about your order.  That’s all.”

“Fine.”  My voice lowers, the simple thought of
my
Cassie sends me into a different state of mind.  My dark desires for such a sweet young girl must be wrong, but on the other hand, I want everything good for her in this world.  I want her every dream to come true and I want to be the one with her every step of the way.

“
Magnum
.”  My sister’s voice pokes me out of my daydream with the nickname she knows I despise.

I tighten my lips and fill my chest with a deep breath, meeting her eyes without a word.

“You deserve to be happy.  You can’t blame yourself forever.  You dedicated your life to the business.  What happened was an accident Magnus.  A tragic accident.  You think you have to suffer, that somehow it’s your duty.  You haven’t been interested in a woman for so long I can’t even remember.  And the last year...”  She steps over to brush something off my shoulder then reaches up to swat my face with a playful smack.  I raise my brow looking down.  My little sister has attitude, that’s for certain.  “Over the last year you’ve been the walking dead.  Snap out of it.  I see it in your eyes.  The Leonard men don’t play around when it comes to their women; they see what they want and they go after it.  I remember Dad even said he knew the first second he’d laid eyes on Mom.  Said he never even been interested in dating before her.  He knew the right one would come along and he waited.  You’ve waited long enough.  You’ve suffered.  Go be happy.  Please.”

When she looks up at me I pull her in for a quick side hug.  Why I needed her words to push me I’m not sure. Her reminding me of mom and dad tipped the scales.  Suddenly, it’s like a switch goes off.  The court case is settled, I’m done waiting.  I make my way out the front door on my way to claim what I know is already mine.

My sweet Angel.

It’s almost eight when I get there –they open at nine– and just the thought of her has my ears buzzing and blood flowing.  After yesterday, after touching her for the first time, I’ve had a near constant erection. 

When the door opens at the gallery at nine a.m., I’m waiting.  When Andrea tells me Cassie is gone, I nearly stop breathing until she tells me where she is.  She’s been transerred.  By 9:03, I’m back in my car, heading her way.

_______________________________________________

CHASTITY

A
fter a fitful night of near zero sleep, I came out to turn the key in the ignition of the Corolla. But any luck I had left offically ran out this morning, because the ole girl clicked and that was it.  Swallowing my pride, I found the same clerk in the office and asked if there was anyone that could jump my car battery.  Without looking up from his dog-eared issue of Barely Legal, he pointed to a corkboard on which there was a local bus schedule posted.

Great.  Thanks for the help
.

The bus stop is only two blocks down from the motel, which I guess you could say was a stroke of luck, but it sure doesn’t feel like it.  I got to the new store in time, but the day has had its own ups and downs. 

Like I said, I like the job itself.  But it’s not my dream.  I do it for the paycheck, and the bigger paycheck of an assistant manager is sorely needed right now.  But I’m also sad because I can feel my dream of being a dog trainer or having my own shelter slipping further and further away.  Animals have always made more sense to me than people, but growing that kind of business takes time and savings, neither of which I will have for a very long time.  Probably never.

Eddie was already here when I arrived at nine and before long, we’d settled into the list of things on which he wants me trained.  I’ve done most of the assistant manager duties from time to time back at the other shop, but Eddie insists on going over every minute detail and rubbing up on me every chance he gets. Just when I’m about to run for the hills, he steps away, letting me fill my lungs with a cleansing breath.  We’ve been working for a few hours but it feels like a week already.  I’m so tense around him.

“Finish up the schedule for next week, then come and show it to me.  I’ll be in the office.”  He licks his lips and leans close enough I can smell the cigarette he’d just smoked outside, as strong as if he still had it in his mouth.

His lips are cracked and I have to fight back the urge to gag.  Another lip lick and then he’s gone.

I let out an audible breath.  It’s just us here at the moment.  The store doesn’t officially open for another few days and the thought of being here, alone, with Eddie... it’s raising the hairs on my arms.

When I’ve got the employee schedule set, I grudgingly trudge back toward the office.  It’s near the back employee entrance and I can smell tobacco as I approach.  Eddie’s outside again, smoking another cigarette.  Figures.  We’ve left the door propped open a few inches with a brick because the safety keeps locking us in. He called the door guys, because it should be locked from the outside, but instead it seems to be locking from the inside.  So, for not, it’s the brick and the scent of his cigarette breaks.

I sit down in the seat in front of the desk and stare at the second hand on the wall clock until Eddie steps in a minute later, knocking the office door closed behind him.  There is no one else here, so I’m not sure why we would need a closed door but my heart immediately sets to racing.

The inside of my lip is raw where I’ve been biting into it all morning.  When he steps by me, brushing my knee as he goes, I try to sound confident.  “Here, I think I’ve got it all covered.  Even added a couple extra staff for the day before and day after we open, just in case.”  I hand him the iPad, showing him the electronic scheduling program all filled out.

Instead of taking a seat behind the desk, he steps to the front and half sits on the edge front of me, crossing his arms and spreading his legs farther apart than would seem comfortable.

He smacks his lips and gives me a grin that only crowds my breath in my throat.  When he stares at me without another word, I set the iPad down on the edge of the desk, next to where he’s leaning, and cross my ankles, pulling my knees tight.

“So...”  I just want him to start talking and move us along to whatever is next.

“So.  I saved your ass the other day, didn’t I?”  He nods down at me.

The cut of his words and the way his nostrils flare does nothing to settle my nerves. Being in such a closed space with him isn’t my idea of a good time.

“Sorry?”  I squeak, the confidence I’d mustered a second ago evaporates.

“With Julie.  Covering for you.  You could be more gracious you know.”  He brings one hand to his mouth and circles his lips with two fingers.

“Thank you.  I was in a bad situation; I didn’t think it through.  I appreciate you not telling her.”  I want to say fuck off and die because I’d already thanked him like a hundred times that day, but I keep it to myself.

“I’d think you would show me how grateful you were.”

I don’t want to know, but I know what he’s saying.  Everything slows down.  My body feels like stone, frozen in place.  I can’t move.  Then his hands go to his belt buckle and the bile in my throat is threatening to spill all over him.