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Authors: Teresa Southwick

BOOK: And Then He Kissed Me
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“Sorry. I didn't mean to. And you can't afford that. But I wanted to talk to you.”
“You should have stopped by the restaurant. As a matter of fact, Luke was there. He was looking for you.”
“I wanted to speak to you privately.” He stuck his hands in his slacks' pockets, pushing up his suit coat. “I wanted to apologize for what happened with Sarah. You had a right to know what was going on with her.”
“No, I'm sorry. I overreacted.” She fumbled for her apartment key. “I'd been scared to death, and I took it out on you when all you tried to do was be supportive.”
“You know what they say about hurting the ones you—”
“Darn it,” she blurted out.
Her hand shook so badly, she couldn't get her key in the lock. Nick gently took it from her. Their fingers brushed, and for that fleeting moment, she savored the warmth of his skin on hers. She wanted to tell him to go away. She wanted to tell him to
never
go away. She
wished she could curl up, pull the covers over her head and sleep for a hundred years with Nick beside her.
But that wasn't going to happen, so she might as well get this over with. They walked inside and she flipped on the lights, then closed the door. “Before you say anything, I've got a question for you,” she said.
“Okay.”
“Why didn't you ever tell Madison about Margaret?”
“How do you know I didn't?”
Abby set her purse on the table and took off her jacket. Then she turned to face him. “She came to see me at the restaurant tonight.”
“She did?”
It was obvious Madison had told the truth. He hadn't put her up to it. Abby nodded. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“She wanted to assure me that you two were not seeing each other anymore.”
“How did the subject of Margaret come up?”
“I told her she couldn't hurt you like Margaret did. She didn't have a clue what I was talking about. What's up with that, Nick? Why did you tell me first? Before your family, and before the woman in your life?”
He rubbed a hand over his face. “It's so simple I didn't see it myself for a long time.”
“I still don't see it.”
“Yes you do, Abby.”
The intensity in his gaze held hers. She wanted to look away and couldn't. She wanted to throw herself in his arms—and couldn't. Was it too much to ask that they just go on like always?
“Nick, don't say anything else. You're my boss. I don't want to compromise our work relationship.”
His laugh was just this side of bitter. “We're way beyond that.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “We don't have to be. If we don't talk about this, it will just go away.”
“That's fantasyland, Ab. It's not going away. At least not for me.”
“I don't want to hurt you, Nick. I'm not right for you. I've got school to finish. So does Sarah. Then college. I have to work. I don't want a relationship until I have the time to see if it's right and make it work.”
“When are you going to face what you're doing?”
“I face it every day.”
He shook his head. “In a pig's eye. You're burying your head in the sand.”
“That's what Madison said.”
He smiled grimly. “You know what happens when you bury your head in the sand?”
“I have a feeling you're going to tell me.”
He came close to her, so close that she could smell the lingering, sexy scent of his cologne. So close that she could see the pulse in his neck pounding. So near that she felt his warmth and security. With his knuckle, he nudged her chin up so she had to look him straight in the eye.
“I feel it's my duty as your self-appointed guardian angel. When you stick your head in the sand, you leave that very shapely rear end of yours exposed.”
“How do you do that?” she asked. “Maneuvering Marchetti. How do you manage to insult me and dish out a compliment at the same time?”
His grin was fleeting. “It's a gift.”
“I wish I had the gift. Because I can't give you what you're looking for, Nick.”
“Yes, you can. I'm asking for a chance—for us.”
“I don't have time.”
He gripped her upper arms. “Hogwash. You've been hiding behind your responsibilities so long it's like a fortress. You're like the lonely princess in the ivory tower.”
“This isn't a fairy tale. And you can't be my knight in shining armor.”
“Yeah, I can. If you'll let me.”
“I'd like to—if you still feel the same way a couple years from now.”
“Why can't you have a life at the same time? You have a right to be happy.”
“Do I?” she asked. Before he could answer, she said, “All I need is time. And your friendship. Just give me that, Nick.”
“How about if I give you this instead?”
He lowered his mouth to hers. The kiss was surprisingly gentle for all the fierce anger she sensed in him. His lips were warm and soft, persistent and oh so persuasive. She felt a tightness in her breasts, and liquid heat that trickled through her and settled low in her belly and her most feminine place. She tried to stay aloof, but he deepened the kiss, urging her mouth open with his tongue. He slipped inside and she sagged against him.
He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. When he lifted his mouth from hers, his breath stirred the hair around her face. He whispered in her ear. “Abby, I—”
She pushed away from him. “I can't, Nick.”
“You mean you won't.” Hurt filled his eyes. “You're a coward.”
“I'm not—”
“Whatever happened to the courageous young
woman I first met? The one who stood in my office and vowed to be the best employee I'd ever had? Because her parents had just died. Because she needed a job to support herself and her sister. That Abby was the bravest woman I've ever known. That Abby was the woman I fell—”
“Don't say it, Nick,” she held up her hand. “Please don't say any more.”
This was the second time in the last five minutes he'd tried to say the words. She couldn't let him. If she could prevent it, maybe she could avoid being his strike three. Most important, she could prevent any harm to his heart.
How she wanted to throw caution to the wind and go on the journey with this wonderful man. But her spontaneity had died in that accident with her parents. It had taught her that she couldn't afford to be reckless. Disaster was right around the corner. She had to protect herself as best she could.
“Abby, I—”
She held her hand up to stop him. “It's late. It's been a long day, and I still have to study for exams. I appreciate you stopping by, but I have stuff to do.”
The old stuff-to-do excuse. It sure didn't diminish the pain she saw in his eyes. Gathering every ounce of her willpower, she forced herself to stand very still and not wrap her arms around him and tell him she was the worst kind of fool. And more important—she loved him and hoped he wouldn't hold her stupidity against her.
But all she did was watch him walk to the door and open it. The anger in his eyes made her flinch. “Strike three, Abby.”
Then he walked out and slammed the door. Abby
refused to let the tears fall. The wonderful, special thing they'd shared was over. If only she could give him what he wanted. If only things hadn't gotten serious. And she had tried so hard not to let that happen. Because she'd been so sure that if she fell in love with him she would lose everything, including his friendship.
Being right hurt so very much more than she'd ever imagined.
Chapter Twelve
“F
or the record, you can stop matchmaking. Abby and I are kaput.”
Nick had gone from Abby's place to his folks'. Now he sat at his mother's kitchen table and looked at the hot chocolate she'd set in front of him. He waited for her to say something. Her uncharacteristic silence puzzled him.
“Aren't you going to say something, Ma? You could at least do the token disclaimer about your efforts to get us together.”
“Why? A mother can only do so much. Now it's up to you. How do you plan to win her back?”
“I just told you, she doesn't care about me. She told me to hit the road and don't come back.”
“She didn't mean it.”
“Yeah, Ma. She's been sending me these signals for weeks now. I've just been too dense to get the message.”
“You're dense if you think that's the message she's been sending.”
“What does that mean?”
Flo Marchetti pulled the belt of her flannel robe tighter and sat across from him. She dipped her tea bag in the steaming water in front of her. “It means that she's in love with you. Why do you think I kept the rest of the family from going to the cabin the weekend after Thanksgiving?”
“So you admit it.”
“Of course.” She nodded with satisfaction. “And I'm glad to see that for once they managed to keep their mouths shut. Rosie gave me the idea when she said she and Steve fell in love there.”
“Thanks a lot, Ma. And remind me to thank my little sister, too. It was a disaster from beginning to end. In fact it was the beginning of the end. If I hadn't kissed her—”
“And?”
“And nothing. She backed off faster than you can say ‘al dente.'”
Flo tapped her lip. “I wonder why. She's so in love with you. I saw it right away at Thanksgiving.”
His laugh was bitter. “In
love?
Don't make me laugh. She doesn't have time. According to her, between work, school and Sarah—who's practically a grown woman, I might add—she doesn't have time to fall in love.”
“She's afraid.”
“She's the bravest woman I know,” he said, leaping to Abby's defense. It didn't matter that only a short time ago he'd accused her of the same thing.
“Then she doesn't have the brains God gave an ant.”
“Abby's one of the brightest individuals I've ever met. Look how far she's come since I first hired her. It takes keen intelligence to do that, with everything she's got going.”
“You know, Nick, maybe it's for the best. She's really not all that attractive—”
“She's a knockout, Ma. Look, I just wanted to let you know what was going on. I don't have to sit here and listen to you bash the woman I love.”
Flo smiled like the cat who ate the proverbial canary. “I knew it.”
“So you were baiting me?” When she nodded, he said, “Don't look so smug. I knew it, too. But to respond to your earlier question of what I intend to do about it, the answer is nothing. Because you're wrong. Abby doesn't feel the same about me. She wouldn't even let me say the words. Every time I tried to tell her I love her, she stopped me.”
“Poor Abby,” Flo said, shaking her head sadly.
“What about me?” he asked. “My own mother! I'm your flesh and blood. You're supposed to take my side.”
“I
am
your mother, and it was my fondest hope that none of my children would grow up to be a fool.”
“Now just a minute, Ma. I don't think it's foolish to cut my losses and walk away when the woman obviously doesn't share my feelings.”
Flo pointed at him. “That's where you're wrong. She loves you, or she wouldn't have stopped you from telling her. She's trying to spare you the same hurt that you got from that witch in Phoenix. You just have to figure out what's holding her back. She's proved that she's a stayer. She doesn't desert the people she loves. But she won't admit her feelings unless she's sure
they're the forever-after kind. And remember, Nick, she's been through a terrible ordeal. She had firsthand experience that forever-after can be over in the blink of an eye.”
“Abby
has
been through a lot, Ma. But—”
“No buts. Fate took her parents from her and sent her world spinning out of control. By refusing to admit she loves you, she's grasping to hold on to her world. She's afraid of being hurt. If you run out on her, it will convince her that she's right to keep from getting close to anyone.”
Nick thought about what his mother said. He knew how it felt to have the props knocked out from under you. Not the way Abby had, but enough. Now he realized that he and Margaret were wrong from the beginning—a fire so hot it had quickly burned out, leaving nothing but ashes. What he had with Abby had grown over time to something pretty terrific. But he'd hibernated all these years because he didn't want to be hurt again.
Was
doing the same thing? And by clamming up, not wanting to hurt him again, she was showing him—not telling him—how she felt about him. That she did love him.
He couldn't give up and walk away. Without a doubt, he knew Abby was the one woman who could coax him from confirmed bachelorhood and give him everything he wanted in life. But he had to do what he'd been doing since he first met her, just keep showing up.
 
Abby wearily sat down on her love seat and rubbed her eyes. She was tired to the bone, but grateful that finals were over. It had been several days since she'd seen Nick. Coincidentally, it had been about that long
since she'd slept. She couldn't forget the look on his face just before he slammed out the door. Every time she remembered, her heart cracked a little more.
If only she didn't love him so much.
He'd been right to try to tutor her in relationships. She was so backward. Recalling the kiss they'd shared in that romantic cabin, she sighed. And at the thought of the one in this very room, she groaned. His classes had been the best she'd ever taken. For all the good it had done. She would never take the final in that course. She'd managed to flunk out royally. Was it too late? Maybe there was a makeup exam, or an extra-credit assignment.
She had no experience in right or wrong for this situation. No frame of reference at all. But every instinct she had told her to go to him. Tell him how she felt. Beg him to forgive her. She didn't want to lose him completely. If he couldn't love her, she still wanted him in her life as a friend.
Sarah walked into the kitchen and poured herself a soda, then sat beside her on the couch. “Can I talk to you?”
“Of course.”
“Nick told me I should apologize for my behavior and really mean it this time. I didn't think about worrying you the other night. He said I lied in a passive aggressive way, whatever that means.”
Abby couldn't help smiling. That was Nick. Management double-talk. She squeezed her sister's hand. “It's okay, sweetie. He told me I have to lighten up on you so you'll be better prepared when it's time to fly this coop.”
Sarah grinned. “That sounds like him. So we're okay?”
“You're all I've got in the world. You bet we are.”
A frown creased her sister's smooth brow. “You've got Nick, too. Although he's been real down since the night of the winter formal. I told him you were taking finals. But he still doesn't sound like himself.”
“It's okay. We talked.” Abby could almost feel her heart breaking. But the last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of Sarah. “I guess he just finally got the message.”
Sarah snapped her fingers. “That reminds me, I took a message for you before you got home from work.” She jumped up and ran to her bedroom, then came back with a napkin in her hand. “It's from Luke.”
What Abby read made her heart nearly stop and her blood run cold. Spots bounced before her eyes and she shook her head to clear it. She read it again.
“M & M Marchetti. Alex. Nick at the hospital.”
She stared at Sarah. “What's going on? What does this mean?”
Her sister looked shaken. “I was on the phone with Austin when he beeped in. I was only half listening and jotted down a couple words. I'm so sorry, Abby.”
“Nick's at the hospital?” Abby shook her head. “Oh, God. Not again. Not Nick.”
She jumped up and grabbed her purse from the kitchen table. “I'm going to find him.”
“Do you want me to go with you?” Sarah asked.
More than anything,
Abby thought. Then she said, “Maybe you should stay here in case Luke calls black.”
Biting the corner of her lip, Sarah nodded. Then Abby raced from the apartment to the carport. As she turned the key in the ignition, she prayed, “Please God, let him be all right. So I can tell him I love him.”
 
 
Abby ran into the Regional Medical Center and stopped at the information desk. She wanted to scream at the operator to get off the phone and tell her where Nick was. But she held back. Barely.
Finally the woman looked up. “Can I help you?”
“Do you have a Mr. Marchetti here?”
The operator checked a computer screen and nodded. “Second floor. Room 208.”
“How do I get there?” Abby asked. As frantic as she was, she was surprised that she'd made it to the hospital in one piece. Now that she was there, she didn't want to waste any more time trying to find him. Time, always her enemy, was still playing havoc with her life.
The woman pointed to her left. “The elevator is that way, on your right.”
Abby nodded and ran down the hall to an empty elevator car. She punched the up button and in less than a minute was whisked to the second floor.
She exited the car and ran to the nurses' station. Before she could find someone to give her information, she spotted Flo and Tom Marchetti standing in the hall. Luke and Joe were there too, lounging against the wall. That must be where Nick was.
She hurried down the hall. Flo saw her coming and waved.
“How is he?” Abby asked. “I just got the message. Is Nick all right?”
“I'm fine.”
Abby whirled around and saw him standing in the doorway to the room. He looked amazingly healthy, and annoyingly cheerful. Seeing him perfectly all right snapped the tension that had powered her. Stripped of
all her defenses, she burst into tears. Covering her face with her hands, she turned away.
“Abby? What's wrong?”
That was Nick's voice. She felt his arms around her and without hesitation she pivoted to bury her face against his chest. “What's wrong, honey?” he asked again, his voice so gentle and kind she ached from the sweetness.
“The n-note said—You—Hospital.” Abby tried to form words, but she couldn't stop crying.
“Let's find a quiet place,” he said, leading her down the hall.
Abby was relieved when he didn't remove the arm he had around her. If this was the last time he ever spoke to her, she would remember this as the sweetest moment of her life.
By a row of windows, there was an informal waiting area. A couch and several chairs with tables here and there furnished the space. Nick sat down on the couch. She started to back away, and he grabbed her hand and tugged her onto his lap, wrapping her in his strong arms.
She started to cry harder. He was too sweet for words. She didn't deserve it.
“Go ahead and cry. Let it all out,” he said. “I think you've needed this for a long time.”
Abby didn't know how long she cried, or how long he held her while she did. Finally, feeling more exhausted than she ever had in her life, she sighed. Then she lifted her face and brushed the moisture from her cheeks as she met his concerned gaze.
“You okay?” he asked.
She nodded. “You?”
“I'd be a lot better if you would tell me what's wrong?”
Her heart pounded again. “You first. Sarah took a message, a very incomplete one. Something about your parents, Luke, you and the hospital. Is someone here?”
“Alex has food poisoning.” He saw her shocked look. “He's going to be fine, just needs rest. His quest to find a chef to handle the frozen-food line has taken a detour.”
She let out a long breath. “I thought you'd been in an accident. I thought it was happening to me again.”
“Like your parents?” When she nodded, he said, “Tell me.”
She sniffled and pulled a tissue from her pocket. “It's my fault that they died.” She watched his face as the words sank in and before he could tell her how awful she was, she went on. “I wanted them to patch up the relationship. I didn't want to be the only kid in my circle of friends whose parents were divorced. I didn't want my life to change.” She laughed bitterly. “They talked about going away for a long weekend to try to work things out. Then they decided against it because of leaving Sarah and me. I told them I was perfectly capable of looking after my little sister.” She took in a shuddering breath. “My last words to them were a promise to take good care of her. I've been doing it ever since.”

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