And the Sweet (Addiction Series Book 2) (2 page)

Part of being a good bartender is making sure people want to buy a drink from you. The flash of something off-limits, it brings even more appeal. Melody is a beautiful woman. I can see her using that to her advantage to get more money from these poor fools. I imagine on more than one occasion Celia has used these same tactics. That thought makes my stomach twist but watching Melody, the way she smiles, bats her eyes at the older man before her, makes me realize once more, it really is all just an act. Because once the man has placed his order, Melody is all business.

The drink is prepared. Sat before her customer. She smiles sweetly at him, keeping up the flirtation, and then smiles bright at him as he hands her the payment with probably a hefty tip for her effort. She deals with the money and moves on to the next customer, repeating her act once more as though the scene is not yet over.

So Cecelia could have flirted with every man in here, like I’d been told, but watching the way the two interact with the customers tells me that it wasn’t out of a desire for anything more than a good takeaway. I feel sick knowing this. I’d accused her of flirting with these men, of being interested in them when that’s not even true!

Seeing her now, the way she interacts only as much as necessary only reiterates my absurdity. This would be the perfect time for any game she’d been playing to be played perfectly. She doesn’t know I’m here, watching her. For all she knows, I’d never step into this place since there is a prominent bar and I make an effort, or at least the guy she knew made an effort, to stay away from all alcohol. But there she stands, taking orders, smiling when required, and ignoring the craving around her.

It would be so easy too. Take a number. Call it up. Have a meaningless hookup and who would she have to answer to? No one.

But nothing even remotely close to that happens.

And I feel my chest tighten more, wondering once more just how wrong I’ve pegged her. How wrong I pegged someone I once knew so well.

“Last call!” one of the bouncers shouts and I’m surprised to learn I’ve been here so long.

The lights change, lifting to expose more of the restaurant indicating the place will be closing soon. I duck back toward a corner, not wanting my presence to be discovered while trying to continue watching the action at the bar.

There is a group of guys still standing at the bar. They look college age, with pressed khakis and shirts making them look every bit the douche I know them to be. I see Melody flirting with a couple of them, her hand lightly touching one’s arm before she laughs bright and fake at whatever is being said. Turning my attention back to Celia, I see the way she’s trying to maintain a smile, trying to maintain conversation but appears to be struggling.

She runs a rag across the bar, nodding her head and occasionally speaking but she’s not making eye contact or giving anyone the attention her coworker is. And then she looks up and toward the door and I’m glad I moved otherwise she would have seen me in my original spot. As it is, I see Trey move across the room, his large presence causing people to part like the Red Sea. As soon as he reaches the bar, he claps a hand on two of the guys and informs them the bar is closed and it’s time to leave. He does this in a way that is friendly, so the guys don’t give him shit, but I can see they want to stay and continue talking with Cecelia even though she isn’t paying real attention to them.

With slips of paper left behind in front of her, they give her interested smiles before heading away, taking the guys talking to Melody with them. With a heavy heart, I see Celia ball up the numbers and toss them too before giving a thankful if exhausted smile toward Trey.

“I’d do anything for you, baby girl. You remember that.”

Celia smiles brighter this time and my heart twinges. Part of me wonders if the reason she pays no mind to the numbers coming her way is because of this. Because of Trey. Perhaps they are together now. Perhaps she’s moved on from me completely. Moved on, left me behind like I asked her to.

Like I all but demanded she do.

There’s only one way to find out.

TWO

I think I’ve paced the entire block three times by the time the staff of Coco Pazzo finally emerges. It’s just after midnight and though it’s winter, the night is thankfully not bitingly cold. I stand off to the side, hoping to be out of view so I don’t look like a fucking creepy stalker or serial killer.

Groups are huddled together, conversing about their night, what their plans are for the following day until their next shift starts, and whether or not they should go get pancakes before heading home.

It takes ten full minutes of watching people exit the front door before Cecelia and Melody leave. The bouncer, Trey, is at the door as they step out.

“You girls good to get home?” he asks them. I watch him pull keys from his pocket and lock the door, shutting the fence too.

“We’re good, big guy. Tips were good so we’re taking a cab tonight,” Melody smiles at him before lifting on her toes to plant a kiss on his cheek, making him blush bright red. I really don’t think I’ve ever seen that shade on a human. Though Trey is a pasty white guy, so I guess maybe it’s possible. But more than that, his reaction to Melody has me wondering about his association to Cecelia. Wondering if I misread another situation.

“Okay, well, call me if you need anything.”

Both girls nod at his imposing posture accompanied by what appears to be a very affectionate smile.

“See you tomorrow.”

I’m momentarily startled, forgetting everything I was just thinking.

Cecelia’s voice is quiet, barely a whisper. The rasp is still there; in fact it seems more pronounced. Before it had only ever sounded like that when she was upset and crying. Or really excited about something. But this, it’s the first time in
months
I’ve heard her speak and my breath is lost. My heart begins thumping, my skin prickles under a cold sweat and butterflies begin fluttering like crazy in my stomach.

It’s been so long since I’ve heard her sound so meek, so uncertain and nowhere near the strong and confident woman she had been the last few years of our relationship. This girl, with her demure appearance, and her lack of voice is nothing like the girl I remember, the girl I knew.

I almost wonder if this is an act. I still don’t know for sure about Celia’s relationships with some of the guys from the fights, but it could make sense that she would play this quiet and sad girl so people have sympathy for her, all things considered. Then again, I’ve never seen her actually look so fucking defeated before. She isn’t even
trying
here.

And that thought is confirmed as I see Trey offer her a troubled smile and a flash of his eyes at her companion who just shrugs as though she has no idea what is going on.

“Have a good night, girls.”

The trio parts way and I watch Trey watch them for a bit until he’s forced to disappear around the corner heading north. The two girls keep walking south, and I realize if I’m going to have any chance at all, I need to get ahead of them and make it seem like it’s coincidental that we’re running into each other. At this time of night. In this part of town. No big deal. Jogging ahead, trying to keep from being seen on a nearly desolate street, I cut across and then turn around to head back toward the restaurant and that’s when I see them both notice me.

I slow my pace; I don’t want to scare either girl but I also don’t want them to wonder why I may be breathing heavy. As I get close to the curb, Cecelia notices exactly who is walking toward her and she stops. Frozen, dead in her tracks.

Melody comes to a stop too, looking at Celia with wide eyes. Then those eyes find me and I can see her appraising me, wondering who I am, what my deal is. She’s wondering what made her companion stop like she did at the mere sight of me.

“Cece?”

She either doesn’t hear Melody speak to her or she’s too stunned to respond. Either way, Celia keeps her wide shocked eyes on me. “What are you doing here?” Her voice is barely a whisper, barely a breath. Celia lost her accent long before I did, sounding more like she really is from Chicago, but in this moment, I hear her Texas twang come through.

“You know this guy?” Melody asks, her tone taking on a note of irritation. I’m not sure what the irritation is toward, but I can tell she’s not pleased.

“Hi, Cecelia.” I swallow hard, shove my hands in my pockets and continue to stare at her while trying not to overwhelm her. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

I realize belatedly how bad that sounds as Melody narrows her eyes at me. “Who are you? Who is this guy, Cece?”

“You told me to leave you alone. I was just following orders,” Cecelia answers softly, ignoring her friend, coworker, whatever they are to each other. I won’t lie and say her words don’t make me cringe. I really told her, the one person I’ve known and trusted the most to stay away from me. Even if she betrayed me, I can’t believe I said the words I actually said to her. “What are you even doing here?”

It’s the second time she’s asked. I try to focus on that question, try to push aside the guilt that’s bubbling up faster than a volcano inside my chest. “You just disappeared. No one knew where you’d gone, if you were even alright. I heard some things. Scary things.”

“I’m sure you did.” For the first time all night, I see fire spark in Celia’s light brown eyes. She’s angry at me, at my words and I realize, once more, how bad they sound.

“Shit, sorry. That didn’t come out right,” I try to defend but she’s started walking, grabbing Melody, who has gone silent, watching our exchange until now when I hear her ask once again what’s going on. “Cecelia? I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“You’re forgiven, have a good life.” She’s walking faster now, but she’s shorter than me by a few inches and my stride is wider. I catch up to her easily wanting to reach out and take her arm but knowing she’ll probably try to punch me if I do.

“Please, I’ve been so worried about,” I begin again, coming right out with it. “I heard you were drinking, that people saw you completely hammered and I didn’t want to believe it. I had to find you. Make sure you were okay.”

She stops and looks up at me. I can’t identify the myriad of emotions that pass over her face. But the scoff she gives is obvious. “Worried about me? That’s funny. Even more funny is not wanting to believe something you heard about me. Too bad that’s too little too late, Chace.”

“Jesus Christ, Celia, please?” I beg, my voice cracking as my desperation makes itself known. “I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry.”

I think I have her, that maybe she’ll stop and listen, but all she does is throw up a hand as a taxi pulls up to the curb. I hadn’t even heard it coming.

“What do you want from me?” she asks as she pushes Melody into the waiting cab with quiet promise to explain. “You
heard
things about me? Good for you. Not the first time right? But just so you can stop feeling obligated to look out for me, assuage you of my charge; I’m fine. Perfectly fucking fine.” I can see she’s trying not to cry and I want so badly to wrap her in my arms. “I’ll make sure to keep out of the way of anyone you may know so you won’t have to hear any more stories about me. I’m sorry for being a burden on you once again. Goodbye, Chace.”

She jumps in the cab and the yellow car peals away with a squeal of the wheels. I can’t chase after her, I wouldn’t even be able to find her now that she’s in a car and the street is empty once more. If it wasn’t for the smell of exhaust, it would almost be like she’d never even been here.

My hands find my hair, longer than I’ve ever had it in all my life, and I pull. Hard. Tears come to my eyes and I’m pretty sure it has nothing to do with the force gripping the strands of dirty blond. I have no idea what to do now. No idea, once more, where to look or how to act.

She walked away. Again.

And those things she’d said…fuck, they lance right through me. I can’t breathe. I feel like I might be having an anxiety attack. My chest is constricting, my vision blurry. I drop to my knees as I try to get my breath back. I’m so lost; so completely void of any idea of what I should do or even how.

Realizing I can’t stay on the corner like this, knowing someone has probably seen my freak out and is either calling the cops or an ambulance, I stagger to my feet and head toward the train station.

By the time I get home, I’m frozen, though I don’t know if the temperature dropped or if I’m so dejected my body has turned cold. The only thing I do know is I have to find a way to at least get Cecelia to speak to me, to truly talk to me. Because tonight didn’t prove that she’s okay. It may have shown me she isn’t hooking up with random guys or drinking, at least not tonight, but it didn’t tell me if she’s okay.

I know she’s not and I need to fix that.

Given the way I’m treated like a pariah now amongst the guys since it was my associations that led to our clusterfuck, given the way no one but a few of the really stupid groupies gave any kind of damn about Hayley after everything blew up, I know a I’m the reason Celia isn’t okay. It doesn’t matter if she fucked half the world. The way I treated her over just the possibility, because truly, I have no proof, well, it’s beyond deplorable. And I need to make up for that.

If she really did betray me, yes, it fucking hurts. My heart is shattered at that. The only woman I have ever cared about…the possibility tears apart my soul. But I’ve torn her down too. Degraded her. I think I might have broken her and the last time someone did that…well, I don’t want to think about that because I don’t want to compare myself to him.

I resolve to go back to Coco every night until I can get through to her. At least apologise for my behavior, even if what we once had is too broken beyond repair. I don’t want to leave things the way they are.

I can’t leave things the way they are.