And It All Comes Down To You (2 page)

Present

“All sounds positive so far,” Lydia says, taking a sip of her vodka and lemonade.

It’s two days later, the first chance I’ve had to see my best friend and tell her all that happened on the day that everything changed. We’re in one of our local pubs because, frankly, I need the fresh air after spending forty-eight hours mooching around my house with a dopey grin on my face.

Have you ever tried to hold off on sharing a memory, just because you’re scared that saying it out loud will taint it somehow? Lydia wanted to know every detail of the trip right away, but all I managed was a text saying,
I’ll tell you soon xx

The thing is, when our plans changed during the course of the day, it threw me. I hadn’t expected to make so many memories, and looking back on them now is like recalling the details of a vivid, beautiful dream. I want to keep them safe, protected. I don’t want them analysed or picked apart because they’re fragile, and even the slightest question mark over the things that transpired will shatter those amazing images that play over and over in my head. To me, they are perfect.

But the best friend code states that best friends must be kept informed of all details of romantic or potential romantic situations. It’s the law.

“The journey was great,” I tell her, nodding. “You know you’re in for a good day when there’s more laughter than silence.”

She grins. “So, do you want to explain exactly how you went from,
‘We’re driving back tomorrow night’
to-”

I hold up my hands. “I will. But…”

“What?” Concern flickers in her blue eyes. I don’t mean to worry her, I’m just anxious. Anxious about sharing the memories. She’d been looking at me as if Logan and I had slipped into porno mode and spent the night going at it behind a beer tent. Not that that was beyond the realms of possibility. After all, it wasn’t as if I’d never thought about it. Not necessarily behind a beer tent, but… you know what I mean.

“Talking about this feels weird. I want to tell you everything because, let’s face it, nobody has listened to me drone on about Logan’s awesomeness more than you have. You deserve the Ultimate Bestie Award for putting up with me for so long. But also, it sort of feels like some parts of it should be kept private. Between me and him.”

“I don’t need to hear the full details if there is sex involved, Marnie.” She laughs. “But you’re right. I definitely deserve to hear the rest of this story, so keep talking!”

The Reminiscing Stage aka Everything Changes

“What the hell is going on with the weather?” Logan asked, quickly casting his eyes skyward before fixing them back on the road.

When we’d left home, the sun was shining. As we neared our destination, the clouds had grown darker, and the summer warmth had been replaced by a cool chill that made me reach into my bag for a jumper.

See, it really never hurts to be prepared.

“I’m hoping it’s just a glitch,” I said. “Maybe we’ll drive right through it.”

“We don’t have too much further to go now. About half an hour.”

I raised my eyebrows. My being prepared didn’t actually extend to an umbrella. Yes, we lived in the UK, and even in July the weather could be unpredictable, but I’d had high hopes, and visions of tanning while enjoying the music and knocking back…
beers
. Because that’s what people drink at festivals.

“Do you remember when we were younger and they had a music thing in town with local bands? They did it for a couple of summers when we were still at school, before they got cancelled because people got drunk and smashed up the shop windows.”

Logan nodded. “Yeah. I used to hang around down there with my mates. I remember you used to do the same thing.”

I flicked my head towards him. “You remember that?”

Jesus, I hope he doesn’t remember the fact that I used to blush every time he looked at me.
Pretty hard to hide; I must have looked like a faulty human traffic light. Red when he saw me gazing at him, amber as I began to pale, and green as my stomach churned with nerves at him noticing my existence.

He smiled. “I remember. You used to be there with Lydia and… Kelly?”

“Kerry. Yes. We were usually there looking around for the guys in the fifth year, and we dressed in clothes we thought were cool, but actually, were ridiculous.”

I mean, really. Short skirts and t-shirts with slogans across our not-quite-fully-developed boobs, teamed with trainers, and our hair in high ponytails held back with scrunchies. It was no big shocker we didn’t get to hang out with the popular kids. We looked like eighties rejects, but without the neon.

“I’m surprised you remember me being there,” I said.

“I remember a lot of things.” Logan gave me a sideways smile, intriguing me.

“Such as?”

“Such as you and your friends drinking sneaky cans of shandy and trying to mount the stage.”

My cheeks heated and I closed my eyes, trying to pretend he hadn’t just said that. There was really no denying it. We weren’t drunk on the shandy, we were young and occasionally a little over-confident. One particular year at our town’s lame attempt at a live music event, Lydia had dared Kerry and me to touch the sexy lead singer of one of the bands while he was performing. Not a task that can be completed with subtlety considering the sheer number of people who showed up for the gig. We barely got a toe on the stage before the police guarding the area dragged us down and told us to go home.

“God. Of all the things you could have witnessed…”

“Even if I hadn’t, I’d have heard about it. You were legends at school!”

“I don’t know about that.” I laughed. “There were rumours going around that we were arrested!”

“But everyone thought it was cool.”

“That’s probably the most daring thing I’ve done in my life.”

“Aside from getting in a car with me.”

Logan’s smile sent butterflies flapping around my stomach, as again, the reality of what I was doing hit me. If only he knew I’d have clung to the freaking roof rack if it meant spending time with him.

“Well, a girl’s gotta take a risk now and again.” I gave him a cheeky wink, and he laughed again.

“You haven’t changed much, you know?”

“Hmm, I don’t know if that’s true. I have no plans to crash the stage today.”

“But you still have that mischievous thing going on. That twinkle in your eyes might blind me if I look right at it.”

My heart sang in my chest, joining the rhythmic flapping of the butterflies and creating a beautiful melody.

That could be the sound of your doom if you don’t get a grip on yourself.

Ah, that bloody cautious voice again. But Logan was right. I’d noticed this weird glint shining from my baby blues, like something inside me had ignited in anticipation of this trip, and it radiated from me, even when I was just doing my make-up in the mirror every morning, or when I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a shop window.

So much for not getting my hopes up, huh? But it was subconscious. And while I liked the sparkle, I’d tried to rein in everything it represented – the hope that maybe this would lead to something more.

“Well,” I said, calling on my inner mischievousness, “it would be a shame if my twinkle damaged your eyesight so you couldn’t see how good I look today.” I gestured to my face, giving him a look of mock seriousness. “I don’t wake up looking this good, you know?”

I gave his leg a playful poke, the first time I’d touched him all day, then pulled my hand back quickly, worried I’d crossed a line and hoping that feeling didn’t show on my face.

“Nobody wakes up looking good.” Logan didn’t flinch, and I settled back in my seat, relieved. “Well, except maybe… me.”

I chuckled, remembering how unkempt he was when he rocked up at my house. But he
did
look good. “And
that
is what hasn’t changed about you.”

His brows pulled together for a second, although his lips were still slightly tilted upwards at the corners. “What, my ability to look like a stud first thing in the morning?”

“No!” I shook my head. “Your
arrogance
.”

Logan placed one hand on his chest in a gesture of fake horror. “You hurt me, Marnie. That’s harsh.” His own eyes twinkled, and I had to try to conceal the sharp intake of breath my body wanted me to take at the sight of it, causing me to cough as my lungs freaked out in the confusion. I managed to turn my choke into a laugh so as not to splutter all over him.

“I’m sorry. Maybe you weren’t arrogant, but definitely not lacking confidence.”

“This from the girl who molests bands while they’re on stage!”

“That was stupidity!” I claimed. “Definitely not arrogance.”

His eyes shifted towards me again. “I’m not sure I was as confident as you think.”

“What’s not to be confident about? You’re… Logan Ryan.”

Quick thinking, replacing “You’re hot as hell” with his name.
I was getting too relaxed; relaxed enough to blurt things out I couldn’t take back. Things that could make the rest of the day awkward, and ruin the banter we’d so easily slipped into. But he made everything so easy. It should have already been awkward with me fighting so hard to keep my feelings under control. Instead, being with Logan felt like the most natural thing in the world, like we should have been doing this the whole time we’d known each other instead of occasionally seeing each other when adult life wasn’t in the way. Nothing I’d done in the last few years had felt as simple as sitting beside him talking and laughing.

But those were the kind of thoughts that had led me to almost slip up.

My brain swirled with these contradicting thoughts. Always. Because dammit, I’d waited long enough, hadn’t I? Why not just throw the idea of spending more time with him out there and see where it led?

Because then…
he’d know
. And if he knew, he might run away screaming. Wasn’t it better to say nothing and have him in my life than confess and risk never seeing him again?

Sometimes it
was
better that way. Sometimes, however, keeping my mouth shut made my insides knot and caused me to lie awake, too restless to sleep.

**

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

Logan’s words perfectly reflected my feelings as rain hammered down on the car, making it impossible to see out of the windows. I actually ducked when a gust of wind blew what looked like a bucket load of water down on the windscreen from the overhanging trees.

“This is not the weather I ordered,” I muttered then let out a small laugh. Just my luck. One day out with the guy I’d waited to spend forever with, and the sky decided to throw down a week’s worth of rain in five minutes.
I hope this isn’t a sign of how the rest of the day is going to go. Dismal, dark, and disappointing.

Logan flicked on the car radio, but the only sound emitting from it was a loud crackle, as a low rumble of thunder came from overhead. He turned his head towards me. “Well, I can’t reach the local radio station, but I think it’s safe to say the festival is not going to happen.”

I briefly raised my eyebrows, letting out a sigh. “That’s my plan to make Ed Sheeran fall in love with me ruined.”

“And mine to make Rita Ora fall in love with me.”

An entirely irrational ripple of jealousy slithered down my spine.
Rita freaking Ora? If that’s the kind of woman he’s into, I should probably give up now!
I mean, I’d made the effort to look good, but underneath the make-up, I was still… me. Pale-skinned, dark-haired… imperfect. Okay, I had curves in my favour, although I’d have liked them to be a
bit
less curvy, but I’d never be able to rock skinny jeans and crop tops, or have the kind of face that men instantly fall in love with.

Marnie, get a grip.

I blinked a few times to clear my illogical doubts. “So… I guess we’ll head home when the rain slows down?”

Logan leaned forwards over the steering wheel, looking out at the road which was starting to flood from the downpour. “I think it’ll be a while.” He sighed too. “I’m really sorry, Marnie. This isn’t how I wanted today to go.”

“It’s not your fault.” I turned to him, completely empathising with the disappointment in his eyes. It wasn’t how I wanted the day to go either. I’d wanted music, sunshine and more of our playful conversations, not a car journey, a coffee and another car journey.

“No, but I dragged you all the way here and now there isn’t anything for us to see apart from… fucking rain.” He shook his head as he leaned back in his seat.

“You didn’t need to drag me,” I said, with more honesty than I’d planned. “I’m really glad you invited me. I guess we should have factored in that we live in England and the weather makes no sense at all.”

“Yeah.”

I turned my head to the passenger side window again, not that it did any good. The only thing visible was the streaming rain, completely blocking the view of the street we’d stopped in. I vaguely remembered we were in a residential area, but I hadn’t had a chance to see much of it before Logan had to park before we crashed due to low visibility.

Leaning down, I pulled my phone out of my bag, amazed to find I still had a signal. I called on my 3G and did an Internet search for the festival, just to be absolutely certain it was cancelled. Terrible weather happens at Glastonbury and that doesn’t get cancelled so maybe there was a chance we’d be lucky. Perhaps lucky wasn’t the right word – we were going to get wet - but at least we’d get the day out we’d planned.

It took approximately three seconds for my hopes to be dashed. The festival’s cancellation was headline news, and I held my phone out to Logan. “Yeah. Definitely cancelled.”

Logan wrinkled his nose. “Damn.”

I threw my phone back into my bag and dumped it back on the floor by my feet. A disappointed silence filled the car, the only sounds were our gentle breaths as we internally dealt with our own disillusionment at the way things had taken such a crappy turn, and the persistent rumblings of thunder.

“We could…” Logan began, then trailed off. “Nah, forget it.”

Really? Dude needs to understand that is not the kind of sentence a girl is ever going to “forget” about.

“Go on,” I encouraged. “What were you going to say?”

He tilted his head thoughtfully to one side. “We’ve driven for four hours. This storm is not going to let up any time soon. Maybe we could find a place to stay tonight and drive back tomorrow.”

The flip of my heart in my chest made me jolt in my seat – embarrassing since Logan was watching me. I shifted in my seat as his words sank in. Honestly, those were the last words I expected him to utter – well, aside from,
“This has been the best road trip ever. I think we should get naked immediately.”
The idea of that had me jolting again, and I tried to pull together something to say before he changed his mind.

“I… I’m… I don’t have anything with me for an overnight stay.”

Not true. I had my cosmetics counter in my bag.

“Me neither but we’re in Southampton. It’s not exactly the arse end of nowhere. There are shops around where we can grab what we need. And what do we really need anyway?”

“Well, underwear for tomorrow would be a good start.”

I tried not to cringe at the mention of undies, but since I’d been fighting to stop thinking about him ripping mine off, it wasn’t an easy task. The heat rose in my cheeks again and Logan laughed.

“I’m sure there’s a Primark or something around here.”