And I Love Her (6 page)

“Y
es?” He swallowed the lump in his throat.

“You make me so happy.”

“You make me happy too,” he whispered. “Were you going to say something else?”

It was like he could read my mind. I couldn’t answer his question without lying so I didn’t answer it at all. “The roast in the oven is probably burned by now.”

He leaned down and kissed my stomach. “That’s okay. I’ll eat you instead.”

I chuckled. “No, don’t eat me.”

He kissed my inner thighs then sucked my nipples. “Fine. But only because we are seeing your parents tomorrow. You’re safe—for now.”

As long as Cash was in my life, I’d always be safe.

Chapter Eight

♬

Cash Matthews

I thought I explored every inch and crevasse of my sexuality. There wasn’t anything I hadn’t done in the bedroom. I’ve done every position, every role-playing game, and every toy. There was
n’t much left to discover—until Prudence.

She opened
up a whole new realm for me. Having sex with her was more satisfying, intimate, and emotional than it had ever been before. When I was married, the sex was good but it wasn’t the same. Now when I looked at it in retrospect, I realized how shitty it was. But it was six years ago. Since then, I’ve chartered new territory.

But it was still exceptional with Prudence. When we were together, our minds were linked on an inexplicable level. I could feel myself inside her body. I knew everything she liked and didn’t like, but she didn’t need to tell me anything. I just knew.

And I loved making her feel good. I always made my women come because I wanted them to feel the same pleasure, but it was different with Prudence. I wanted her to feel that burning desire in the pit of her stomach. I wanted her legs to shake because my cock felt so good. I wanted her to love it so much that she would love me too. If I gave her everything, maybe she’d feel something for me.

Call me crazy, but there were times when I swore she did. I told her I made love to her, and she seemed so moved by it. But that could mean nothing. Maybe it just reminded her of the heartbreak Isaac put her through.

I wondered why she wanted to have crazy fucks. I loved anal sex and it was one of my favorite things to do, but I didn’t need that from Prudence. I was very content with the relationship. Maybe she thought I wasn’t enjoying our lovemaking. I thought it was pretty clear I did. But I preferred making love instead of fucking. I’d never come harder than I did with her. Seeing my engagement ring on her finger always made that orgasm a million times hotter.

But going to bed with her at night was the best part. Sharon would go downstairs and watch TV. Most of the time, she stayed on the couch all night. I didn’t question it and thought it was normal. We didn’t always have to sleep together. But after I found out she was cheating on me, I started to piece it together. She probably didn’t stay on the couch. I’m sure she went out with her…friends. But that memory made me cherish the time I had with Prudence. It was nice going to sleep knowing she’d still be there in the morning.

When she left me that note, I was hurt. And I was still hurt by it. But neither one of us had mentioned it. I wondered if I should bring anything up or just leave it in the past. But I was scared she’d leave me one day without any notice. That abandonment was hard to work through, especially since I didn’t know if she was okay. If she knew how hard I worked to track her down, she’d know that I wasn’t just obsessed with her, but was pathetically in love with her. She casted a spell on my heart and it couldn’t be broken by anything.

The next morning we arrived at the airport and boarded the plane. I could tell Prudence was nervous to go home. I knew she didn’t have a strong relationship with her family, other than Jeremy. This was difficult for her. But I’d be the family she needed if she just let me.

When we arrived in London, the sun was coming up. The time difference and jet lag totally threw me off. We’d have to stay awake for another full day if we wanted to be in sync wit the time change.

“Is Jere
my expecting us?” I asked when we got into the cab.

“Yeah,” she said excitedly. She was squirming in her seat.

Their close bond was odd, but adorable at the same time. But that’s when I realized something. Prudence’s eyes were wide and her hands fidgeted in her lap. I recognized that look…it was the same one she gave me when I came home every day. A loud gong rang in my head.

“I mean a lot to you.” My mouth did all the talking on its own. There was no direction from the brain. “I mean, a lot.”

She looked at me. “You didn’t know that already?” A smile was on her lips.

I didn’t know what I was doing. I wanted to put her on the spot and ask for the answer I desperately wanted to know, but I held it back. If she said no, our relationship would be ruined. I tried to think of something to say. “It just surprises me sometimes.”

“It shouldn’t.” She grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

Ugh. I’m such a pussy.

When we arrived at the townhouse, Prudence ditched me and ran to the door. She rang the doorbell ten times in a row like an annoying trick-o’-treater. I laughed then grabbed the bags.

Jeremy opened it. “You only need to ring it once.”

“Shut up.” She jumped into his arms and held him tightly.

I put the bags on the doorstep then moved away, trying to give them some privacy. But I could still hear everything they said.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

“Water under the bridge.”

“I love you.”

“Prudence, it’s fine. Let it go.”

“Okay.” She pulled away then smiled at him. “Thanks for letting us stay.”

“You still would have barged in if I said no.”

She shrugged. “You have a point.”

Jeremy extended his hand and approached me. “It’s nice to see you again.”

I winked. “Likewise.”

Prudence had no idea I spent weeks living with her brother. And we intended to keep it that way.

Jeremy and I carried everything inside then into her bedroom upstairs, the one where I jacked her panties and masturbated with them.

God, I was disgusting
. Just being in the same room as the incident made me hard. I couldn’t look at Prudence. Somehow she’d know all the nasty things I did with her in my imagination.

“Let me know if you need anything,” Jeremy said. “Lorraine cleaned all the sheets and put new towels in the bathroom.”

“Lorraine?” I asked.

“Housekeeper,” Jeremy said.

“When did you get one?” I blurted. He didn’t have one when I was here last.
Wait…that was a fuck up.
Prudence didn’t seem to notice.

Jeremy played it cool. “Very recently. I’ve been busy at work and this makes my life easier.”

Probably because he had women here all the time. He probably changed his sheets four times a week.

Jeremy looked at his expensive watch. “You must be tired. I’ll let you rest.”

“No,” Prudence said. “We’re staying up until bedtime. Easier to adjust to the time change.”

“Okay,” he said. “How about lunch?”

“That sounds great,” I said.

We ventured downstairs and sat at the table. The housekeeper made sandwiches and tea and placed them on the table. Jeremy had
a disorganized mess on the surface. Documents and papers littered the counter. When he started to move everything, a colorful thong was revealed.

Prudence didn’t notice it, but I did. I made eye contact with Jeremy then nodded to the delicate lingerie. His eyes widened then he shoved it into his pocket. I’m pretty sure she didn’t notice anything.

But damn, this guy was insane. Was he a sex addict? I was curious to see his bedroom. There was probably some kinky shit in there, a stripper pole for sure.

Jeremy’s face was slightly red but he hid his embarrassment. After he cleared his throat, he was back to normal like nothing happened. I was in awe of this guy. He had a secret life no one knew about. He seemed to keep it from everyone, even his sister, who
was the closest person to him.

We ate lunch and made small talk about the wedding plans. Prudence and I hadn’t decided on a date but we knew it had to be soon. As the afternoon passed, Prudence was growing more and more fatigued. When we sat in the living room, she leane
d against me, her eyes closing over and over. She couldn’t stay awake.

“Baby, why don’t you head to bed?” I asked.

“No…” She cuddled closer to me.

Jeremy eyed us but said nothing.

“If you’re tired, go to bed.”

“
Nuh-uh.”

She could be so stubborn sometimes.

Jeremy looked at his watch. “Let’s go out.”

“Where?” she asked as she sat up.

“I meant me and Cash.” He turned to me. “My favorite pub is just down the road. And we can smoke cigars.”

“You still smoke those?” Prudence asked.

“Only socially,” he said calmly.

“You shouldn’t smoke. Period.”

He ignored her. “You game, mate?”

“Let’s do it.” Jeremy was a cool guy, and I wa
nted to get to know him better.

“You’re going without me?” Prudence asked.

I cupped the back of her neck and kissed her gently. “You’re tired. Just get some sleep.”

“Since when did you and my brother become best friends?”

I smiled. “We’re not. We’re just going out for a drink.”

She yawned. “I’m too tired to…speak.”

I glanced at Jeremy. “I’ll put her to bed then we’ll head out.”

Jeremy nodded.

I scooped Prudence into my arms and carried her to her bedroom upstairs. After I got her undressed, I placed her under the covers and tucked her in. Then I placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“Cash?”

“Hmm, baby?”

“My brother really likes you.”

I sat at the edge of the bed and held her hand. “Why do you say that?”

Her eyes were drooping. “He has his best mates from college, and they have a strict inner circle. He never looks for new friends and keeps to himself most of the time. He hardly lets anyone in. The fact he’s making an effort to spend time with you is pretty big.”

“It’s probably because we’re getting married.”

“But he knows the marriage is bogus.”

“But I’m still doing it to help you. And he knows I care about you. Plus, I’m just an awesome dude.” I smiled at her.

“Awesome dude?” She laughed quietly then sighed.

I knew she was gone. I gave her another kiss on the forehead then pressed my face close to hers. The words were on my lips but I didn’t say them. She was my whole world, my everything. And I wanted to kiss her good night every night. For the rest of my life.

♫

It rained a few hours ago so the streets were slick with moisture. The puddles of mud shined under the streetlamps, and my shoes were slippery across the concrete.

The pub inside was full of people but it was eerily quiet. Jeremy and I sat at the bar. A TV played a Manchester United game that aired earlier in the day. I ordered a beer so I could try the foreign brew. Jeremy had a scotch.

Jeremy clanked his glass against mine. “How goes it with my sister?”

I shrugged. “It’s about the same.”

He nodded. “So you didn’t tell her about your true affection?”

“No. She made it crystal clear she doesn’t want anything more with me.”

Jeremy stirred his glass before he sipped it. “She actually said that?”

“No. She said other things…not worth mentioning.”

He gave me a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry, mate. You seem like a good guy.”

“I am a good guy.”

He laughed. “That comment automatically makes you less of a good guy. The greatest villains of our past all thought the same thing in their twisted, dark minds.”

Jeremy was v
ery different than most men I knew. He was quiet, dark, and hard to decipher. He seemed so detached from life, but so invested at the same time. Everything he said was poetic and mysterious. The only time he seemed to behave otherwise was when he was with his sister.

“Who are you?”

He drank his glass slowly. “Pardon?”

“You live two different lives, maybe more. You’re different around you sister, but as soon as she’s not around, you’re bac
k to a different version.”

A smirk covered his lips but he didn’t look at me. He stared at the glass on the countertop, shaking it gently. “This is a gentleman’s conversation.”

Was that a British phrase? “Like a gentleman’s bet?”

He nodded. “This conversation doesn’t leave this bar.”

“I’m a man of my word, Jeremy.”

“That’s good to hear. Not too many men are.”

I waited for him to enlighten me.

“I’ve been taking care of my sister my entire life. I’ve had to be strong for her, hold her hand every time she crossed the street, make her lunch every day, and pretty much raise her into the exceptional woman she is now. While I have no regrets because I love her more than words can ever explain, all of that was a lie.”

A lie?

“I pretended I was strong and I pretended I was fine. Prudence never saw anything past that, just the façade I gave her.
So, yes. There are two different versions of me. There’s this me, and there’s the one for Prudence.”

“Which one is the real one?”

He finished his glass then ordered another. “Why can’t they both be real?”

I guess they could.