Anabel Unraveled (43 page)

Matt got up to follow her, but then stopped and walked over to Kevin. “Is she going to die?” he asked, point blank.

Kevin sighed. “I hope not. Chances are good that she won’t. But it’s not 100 percent, just like it isn’t with any birth.”

Matt nodded. “When do you think we should leave for the hospital?”

“Preferably, when her contractions hit five minutes. But if they don’t, well . . .” He shook his head. “She’s going to have to have Pitocin and she’s going to be pissed about it. Her water broke, and there’s nothing I can do about that—I have to get her labor going after twelve hours or she’s at risk for infection.”

“Pitocin does what exactly?”

“It’s a synthetic hormone that will make her uterus contract. It’s quite painful, especially if your water has broken.” He paused. “Look, she can move around all she wants, and that might help her, but I don’t think she’s going to get anywhere fast.” He hesitated. “When your water breaks, you want to be having contractions. The fact that she’s not tells me that she’s going to have a rough time getting the baby out. And since I told her she didn’t have to have a Caesarean anymore, she’s going to be stubborn about the whole thing.”

Kevin was right on both counts. At two p.m. we arrived at Reston Hospital and they hooked Anabel up to a machine to give her the medication, and she was not happy. It also didn’t help that the nurse had to stick her about six times to get the IV in. Her bruised arms did nothing to improve her mindset, leaving Anabel looking for someone to blame. She was shooting angry glares at everyone and finally said that she wanted everyone besides me and Matt to leave.

“Baby, you need to relax,” I told her.

“How can I?” she spat. “I shouldn’t be in bed. That’s not a good thing. I’m trapped here, and if I want to freaking urinate I have to be unstrapped from all of this.”

“Anabel, you made me attend almost twenty hours of those natural childbirth classes. The one thing they told you to do was relax. You’ve got to do that, or it’s going to be even harder for you.”

She looked surprised. “I had no idea you actually were paying attention.”

“I was,” I retorted. “Now, what do you want? Want me to sneak you some crackers?”

She smiled a little. “Jared, I’m scared,” she admitted.

“I know.” I took her hand. “I am, too. Matt hasn’t said anything in the last hour, so I’m guessing he’s in the same boat.”

Matt looked up, and wordlessly nodded.

“But you can do this, Anabel. I know you can.”

She took a deep breath. “Okay,” she muttered. “Okay. Now unhook me from all this crap. I have to pee.”

The Pitocin worked quickly, and Anabel’s dilation went from three centimeters to nine in about two hours. Unfortunately, she was in a great deal of pain and there wasn’t much we could do to help her. Matt and I assisted her all we could, helping her change positions, helping her to the bathroom, helping her move around. But nothing seemed to relieve her, and she was absolutely miserable—the baby was facing the wrong way, and Anabel was having back labor, so as the contractions got stronger, the amount of pain she experienced intensified. As did her language—I heard a lot of words come out of her mouth that I had never heard her say before, half of which I was surprised she even knew.

“Jared,” she said, after a particularly hard contraction, “I hate you so much.”

“I know, baby,” I told her.

“If I survive this, I’m going to kill you,” she proclaimed, and then groaned as the next one began.

“Good girl,” I replied. “Save your brother and Matt the trouble.”

She breathed through the contraction and when it was over started frantically grabbing at things. “What are you doing?” asked Matt.

“Looking for something to throw at him,” she snapped. “Oh, for crying out loud,” she moaned, staring at the printout which showed another one beginning. “They’re right on top of each other. Where is my doctor?” she screamed at a nurse. The poor nurse went in search of Kevin, and Anabel braced herself for the next contraction.

“If I die,” she begged Matt, “promise me you’ll help raise Emma.” She jerked a thumb toward me. “I can only imagine what she’ll turn out like with just him.”

“Of course, sweetheart, but you’re not going to die,” he reassured her, stroking her arm. He was interrupted by another slew of profanities as she pulled her arm back and gripped the bed rails.

“I want the epidural,” she demanded.

“Anabel, you’re so close,” Matt pointed out. “By the time they give it to you, you could have the baby. This is what you wanted, remember?” He tried to take her hand but she snatched it away.

Kevin entered the room. “How are we doing?”

“I don’t want a baby anymore,” she wailed.

He laughed. “Oh, stop being such a drama queen. This will be over soon enough.”

“You’re so mean,” she said. “Next time, I’m getting a woman doctor.” Then she froze. “There’s another one.”

After it was over, Kevin checked her. “Annie, you’re ten centimeters, and the baby’s engaged . . . you managed to turn her, so good work.”

“What does that mean?” Anabel was panting.

“Well, it’s time to push.”

“Are you kidding me?” she screamed.

“Calm down, Anabel,” he soothed her. “Just give us a push. Next contraction. It might make your pain better.”

“It’s coming!” she cried, and then she started pushing. Everyone was counting and she managed to push five times per contraction.

“Don’t you need to rest?” asked Matt, anxious.

“So help me, I’m getting this baby out,” she gasped.

“She’s crowning!” called the nurse. She turned to Anabel. “Do you want to touch the head?”

“NO!” she screamed. “I want her out, NOW!” Then she moaned. “I’m getting her out. This contraction. So help me.” So she started pushing again. And pushing. And pushing . . . and I watched in absolute amazement as our little girl came out, screaming her head off.

Even covered in what Anabel had earlier referred to as “baby goop,” she was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. Kevin set her on Anabel’s stomach and she reached forward to touch her. “Hey baby,” she whispered. “Hey Emma.”

“You did so well, Anabel,” Kevin said, as the nurse suctioned Emma’s nose as our baby girl screamed. “So well. I’m so proud of you.”

“You really did, honey,” Matt said, kissing her cheek.

Anabel beamed at Emma, stroking her face and letting the baby grasp her finger. “Jared?” she said.

“Yes, baby?” I whispered.

“She looks just like you,” she smiled.

“She’s gorgeous,” I replied.

She looked at Matt. “See? Even now, he’s such a narcissist—ohh,” she said. Her face turned ghostly white, and the nurse picked up the baby as Kevin tensed. She looked like she was trying to say something, but she couldn’t. And then Anabel’s eyes rolled back in her head.

“Her uterus inverted,” said Kevin. “Hang on, Anabel.”

“Her heart rate is dropping,” called a nurse.

“What’s going on?” asked Matt.

“I need you two out. Now,” ordered Kevin, and Matt and I found ourselves out in the hallway.

Sam and Meghan rushed over to us. “What’s happening? Is the baby okay?”

I couldn’t say anything, so Matt told him, “I think Emma’s fine, but something’s wrong with Anabel.”

The nurse then wheeled Emma out on her warmer. “Do you want to hold her, Daddy?” she asked me. Meghan and Sam went to look at her, and the little girl stared at them, in a miniature imitation of Anabel’s usual gaze.

“What’s happening with Anabel?” I asked.

The nurse pursed her lips together. “I shouldn’t be explaining this, but she has an inverted uterus, and it looks like the placenta tore part of it. She‘s bleeding a lot.”

“What does that mean?” I asked helplessly.

“It means that Dr. Miller is doing all he can,” she assured me.

“I can’t hold her right now,” I told her, sinking into the chair. Meghan clucked her tongue, but I couldn’t do it.

The nurse nodded. “I’ll put her in the nursery for now. You can come collect her when you’re feeling up to it.”

Kevin came out. “Matt?”

“Yeah?” He sprung to his feet.

“You might want to be with her.” He sounded grave.

Matt went into the room, leaving Meghan, Sam, and I sitting there in absolute silence.

“This isn’t happening,” Meghan whispered.

Sam’s face was white. “This is all your fault,” he barked at me.

“I know,” I retorted. Then I stood up and walked down the hall.

I walked and walked, up and down the halls of the maternity ward, unable to think. None of what the nurse had said had really registered with me, but I had learned one thing from childbirth class: what had happened to Anabel could easily be fatal.

I looked at my hospital band and tried to pull myself together. When she got through this (and I had to tell myself that she would), Anabel would be furious at me for leaving our little girl to fend for herself. So I made my way to the postpartum ward and the nursery and knocked on the door.

A surly looking nurse answered, and I held out my wristband. “I’m here for my daughter.” That sounded weird.

She scanned it, and then nodded and wheeled out Emma. “You can go to room 16, that’s the room reserved for Martin,” she announced, looking at her clipboard. “I’ll send someone in for you to explain how everything works.”

I wheeled Emma in her little bassinet to room 16, which was small, but had plenty of room for us. I lifted the tiny girl out of her bassinet and watched as she slept on peacefully, which I hoped she would keep doing. It wasn’t like her mother was there to comfort her.

“Anabel,” I muttered, watching Emma’s eyelids flutter. “You can’t leave me alone with her. You just can’t.” What had I done to Anabel? First I raped her, then I screwed with her head, and then right when we got to a place where we were almost okay with each other, I went and kissed Alexis. To top it all off, thanks to me, she was now fighting to stay alive.

I shook my head, trying to be calm, and studied Emma. Anabel had been right: she did look a lot like me, although she had gotten her mother’s nose. The chin and cheeks were mine, but on Emma they looked softer and sweeter. Her dark hair was tucked under her little pink hat, and her little mouth opened and let out a sigh now and then. Even though I hadn’t been thrilled with the name, I had to admit, it suited her. I couldn’t get over her, and I don’t know how long I stared at her until I heard a voice say, “So here you are.”

I looked up and saw Sam. The color had returned to his face, but he looked tired. “Sam,” I began, searching for words. Not only had I ruined his marriage, but his sister’s life was hanging in the balance.

So I was surprised to have him sit down next to me and say, “You okay?”

Incredible. “No, Sam, I’m not.”

“Jared, I owe you an apology.”

“What are you talking about?” I focused on Emma.

“No, I’m serious. Look at you, you’re a mess. If nothing else, I know you love my sister. So I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry, I know you didn’t hurt her on purpose.”

I nodded. “Fat lot of good it does us now. She could die, Sam, and it would be all my fault.”

“Oh no, she has assured me she’s not going to die.”

“Come again?”

Sam sighed. “She just woke up, Jared. The first words out of her mouth were, ‘where’s Jared,’ and the second ones were, ‘Look Sam, if you don’t make up with him, I’m not going to let you see your niece.’”

“Are you serious?”

He nodded. “Bossy little thing, huh?”

I wasn‘t sure, but I had a feeling that we were friends again. Relieved, I asked, “Where is she now?”

“They’re bringing her up here.” He smiled at Emma. “So can I hold her?”

I handed him the baby, and a few minutes later the nurse wheeled her in, followed by Matt who was carrying all of her stuff. “Jared!”

I was immediately at her side. “You need to knock this off, Anabel.”

“The whole trying to die thing? Yeah, I know.” She beamed. “I want to hold my baby now, please.”

“After we get you into your bed, Miss Martin.” The nurse sounded exasperated.

Matt set her stuff down, and then helped her from the wheelchair into the bed. “The baby, Sam,” she said, holding out her arms.

So Sam handed her Emma, and Emma opened her wide eyes and contemplated Anabel for a minute. “Hello, beautiful child,” she crooned. “Hello, my Emma.” She gently unwrapped Emma from the tight swaddle and pulled her close to her. “I’m sorry it took me so long to get to you, my only child,” she murmured.

“Oh, you can always endure this torture again,” I assured her, relieved she was alright.

She and Matt exchanged a look. “I can’t, Jared,” Anabel said.

“What do you mean?”

She gently guided Emma to try and nurse her. “Well, get this. I just found out that your baby destroyed my uterus.”

I stared at her. “What?”

“When I started to bleed out, they had to do emergency surgery and I can no longer have kids.”

“You seem awfully happy about this.”

She laughed. “Part of it’s the painkillers, but the other part is, Jared, I just gave birth. I have no interest in doing that ever again.”

“You say that now . . .”

“Oh no,” she affirmed. “I’m serious. I just want the one.” She smiled up at me. “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

“Gorgeous. Best looking baby in the nursery. All the other ones are envious.”

“As they should be,” she smiled. “I’m glad to hear it.”

“Come on, Sam,” said Matt. He kissed Anabel on the cheek and the two of them left.

“And so it’s just us,” I said, sitting next to her.

“I guess we should let her have your last name. I like it better than mine,” she said thoughtfully.

“I’m so sorry, Anabel. It seems like everything I do to you just—”

“Hey,” she said. “It’s okay, Jared. I’m okay, Emma’s okay, and you and I are okay. Let’s just bask in this “okayness,” shall we?”

I took her hand, and she sighed. “I told you she was coming early. Why didn’t anyone believe me?”

“I promise to listen better next time.”

She grinned. “Well, there won’t be a next time.” She shook her head. “It’s just as well. This child has both of our genes. She’s probably going to be wreaking havoc before she can crawl.” Emma sighed and had fallen asleep, and Anabel pulled the baby close to her.