An Unfinished Life (24 page)

“Walk with me?” she asked as she held out her hand.

“I’m so sorry for yelling, sweet girl.”

She said nothing but nodded. We joined our hands and walked down the beach.

“I’m happy, Uncle Jack, and I eat at the beach club because I like the food. I like to walk around the marina, because it makes me smile to see the fishermen come in with the catch of the day. And I love this beach, because it’s the same beach where I fell in love with Simon. I have so many memories here spent with Simon, our friends, and even you, when you flew out here to surprise me for my eighteenth birthday. Simon still drives up and down this coast on his Harley with me hanging on tight. From watching him surf those waves out there, to down that stretch of beach playing volleyball with our friends, I cherish the moments I spent here, and when I returned home from Switzerland to win back Simon’s heart, I made a promise to myself almost right where we are standing. God healed me. I survived Michael and what he did to me. Why would I give him power to take away all my happy memories of this place with just one bad one? I have been blessed with so much in my life. I have Simon, who’s an amazing husband, friend, and soon will be a father to our twins.”

“Twins!?! That’s fantastic. When did you find out?”

“Just recently, but I was keeping it private until reaching a safe point in my pregnancy. After everything we’ve been through, we didn’t want to take anything to chance.”

“But you’re okay, right?”

“Better than okay! I’m wonderful, and my babies are growing every day. Uncle Jack, you just made a new memory, right here on this beach. Now you will always remember this as the place I told you that I’m carrying twins. You see…it’s a happy place! And he can never take that away from me. This is why I brought you here today, to show you that I am okay and that he didn’t break me. I took that one bad memory, and I turned it into strength. I tell that to every single woman that walks through my door seeking help.”

“I would have been there for you had I known. I’m so sorry I wasn’t, sweet girl.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I chose not to tell my parents, or you, and even Simon. I thought I could handle him on my own and no one would ever know, but I was wrong. Does that make it my fault for what happened to me? No, it doesn’t. Michael made that decision to hurt me, and something inside of him just drove him to believe in an unreal fantasy. I made my peace with what happened, and after I watched him get led away, I found my closure. He cried for what he did to me. He said all the right things, but it’s not for me to know if he was truthful or not. He will be judged someday; it just won’t be by me. That part of my life is over, and it should be over for you too.”

“Please, Uncle Jack, for your own peace of mind, let Michael St. Clair go, and never think of him again. Mend your fences with my father, and just be happy with Aunt Sara. Don’t even try to defend what I just said, because then you would be lying. I saw you with my father and how you treated each other. It broke my heart to witness that much tension between you. He loves and misses you. He just doesn’t understand you, but who cares! Just be brothers again.”

“Nicolette, you are amazing, our greatest gift. I would do anything for you without question, but my love, there are just some things in my life that I will never explain to you. I’ve done things in my life that I’m not proud of but accepted them a very long time ago. I know what I am, and what still rages on through my mind. I am not the man you think I am, and for that, I am truly sorry for ever disappointing you. I love you, but some things in life just can’t be undone.”

“That’s not true!” she said as she held my hands. “You are a good man. You’re my hero, remember? Please, Uncle Jack, promise me you will stay true to your heart. It’s a good one. Trust it with everything you have, and when you’re ready, close the door to the darkness. The light is bright, welcoming, and can shine a thousand colors on you. That’s what you deserve.”

“I love you, Nickel. Next to Sara, you are my moral compass. I know I made many promises back then that I have tried very hard to keep, but things have changed, and it doesn’t leave me in a great place. All I can say is that I will try, but please don’t hold me to any more promises.”

“Okay. A girl can hope, right?”

“You always need that.”

I gave my girl a big swooping hug, and then we drove back in silence to her office.

“When will we see you?”

“I’m always here for you, Nickel, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“It was really good seeing you, Uncle Jack. I can’t wait to tell Simon.”

“Sweetheart, I would never ask you to keep anything from your husband, but I really don’t want anyone to know I was here.”

“How about I tell Simon but not mention it to my father. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. I have to go, Nicolette. I’m so proud of you. Take care of those babies.”

She tried to smile, but I saw some tears threatening to fall.

“What is it sweet girl? Why the tears?”

“Why do I get the feeling that this was goodbye? You seem like you are a thousand miles away. Please, Uncle Jack, forget about Michael St. Clair. No matter what happens, he can’t hurt me anymore. I let him go a long time ago, so you need to do the same. I have never asked you about your past, nor do I believe you owed me any explanation. Your past is yours to own. We’ve all made choices that we have had to live with, and I know firsthand what that feels like. I have never asked you for anything, but I’m asking now. Forget him. Go back to Chicago, and be happy knowing that I’m okay. Can you do that for me?”

Her honesty wrecked me. Did she know how I dreamed every night of ending the life of the monster that hurt her? To make him bleed just like he made her? To cause him pain and show no mercy like he did for her? How could I possibly walk away knowing he was still a threat? I had to protect her at all costs. But to look into her beautiful eyes was slaying me to my core. I had to tell her what she wanted to hear to ease her mind. She was trying in earnest to be strong and not cry. God! I couldn’t take it to see one more tear fall from my beautiful girl.

I pulled her into my arms and held her until she was reassured. Kissing the top of her head and brushing away her hair from her eyes, I gave her what she needed.

“I promise. Now, no more tears. No matter what happens, Nickel, you never have to worry about not seeing me again. I will always watch over you and will never let anyone hurt you again.”

That was all the reassurance I was capable of giving, even if it was a half-truth. It wasn’t a lie yet, because I hadn’t decided what Michael’s fate would be.

Max was calling me non-stop. I ignored every call. I packed up my things and checked out of the hotel, barely arriving on time to catch my flight to Chicago.

After I was settled in on the plane, my mind drifted to Sara. I missed her so much and wanted her home with me. I would make it my mission to find her once I was home.

I called Tommy to pick me up at the airport and gave him strict instructions not to alert anyone of my homecoming, especially Max. His heart was in the right place, but mine was not right now and I refused to be backed into a corner. He was thinking that my actions would compromise the family, but he was wrong. I would never do anything to risk exposure for anyone of them.

“Hey, boss, welcome home.”

Hearing him say “home” made me silently ache for Sara. It had been days and no word from her.

Tommy extended his hand to me and grabbed my bag. I remained quiet while he drove me back to my bar. I had him drive around to the side where I wouldn’t be seen. Knowing Max, he probably had eyes on me. I knew I couldn’t avoid him forever and would deal with his baseless fears tomorrow.

Climbing the stairs to my empty home was torture knowing Sara wouldn’t be waiting for me in our bed. My heart was breaking. My mind was tormented. No peace would come to me tonight or any night until Sara was home and Michael St. Clair was dead.

T
oday was the day Michael St. Clair would pay for his sins. Justice would never truly be served until I silenced him, banished him straight to hell, where he could never hurt Nicolette again. All his time spent in prison, had he even learned redemption? His cell had been flipped and his hidden obsessions had been revealed. His intent was clear. He wanted Nicolette and would seek her out once he was free, but not if I had anything to say about it.

I knew what line I was crossing and what I would lose if caught, but it was a risk worth taking. I would never second guess myself once all was in place to carry out what I should have done years ago. Against Max’s warnings, I cashed in all
the chips that were owed to me for this favor. I had only one chance to make this happen, and today was the day.

He was on laundry detail. The room was located on the lower floors of the prison, surrounded by loud sounds of the industrial machines. He was taken and bound to a chair with his mouth stuffed with a rag to silence his screams. Nestled out of sight in a dark corner of the room, I slowly crept in and approached him. His eyes were red from the cowardly tears that fell down his cheeks. He was moaning and begging for his life.

I leaned in to his ear and whispered, “Do you remember me?”

He shakily nodded his head. I took in several deep breaths and began my speech, “I could have ended your life that day in the hospital, but I didn’t. Every day, Michael, I think about that…I could have, but I didn’t. I watched you in the courtroom as you sat there, confidently believing that you would live out your sentence and be free one day. Did you think that, Michael?”

He sat there with no emotion and just listened to me. I circled around him, and he didn’t move.

“You made my girl bleed, you PIG. Do you remember what I said to you? Hmm…?
Pigs get slaughtered!
You preyed upon an innocent girl, infected her with your seed, and caused her undeniable pain. You robbed her…YOU BROKE HER! I can’t let you live one more day knowing that a free life awaits you outside of these walls, because it doesn’t.”

I removed his gag and asked him one last question, “Do you have anything to say before death comes for you?”

He looked directly into my eyes and said, “Do it! I can’t have her…I’m already in hell.”

I plunged my blade into his heart with one strong thrust. I stared into his eyes and watched as his life left his pathetic body. He gasped as his eyes slowly closed. I watched as he bled out, and I let out the breath that I was holding. I swore I would never return to this life again. But after what happened to Nicolette, there was no way I could ever live with knowing that the animal that hurt her still had breath in his lungs.

“Nicolette!” I called out, but no one was here.

I was alone. I was in my bed in Chicago, not covered in blood in a California prison. I spent hour after hour believing that what I saw was real, but I realized that it wasn’t. It was a fantasy created by me since the day I found out my precious Nicolette had been raped. It was all I thought about, and it was what made Sara leave me.

I needed her to come back to me. She was the only one that could save me from myself. I pushed up against the headboard and banged my head in frustration.
What are you doing
?—the four words that I could not find the answer to. Could I let him go? Trust that he wouldn’t go after my girl again? She was protected out in California, unbeknownst to her, or anyone in Nicolette’s circle. Not even my brother knew the lengths I had gone through to watch over her.

Had I known sooner about the photographer, he would have been dealt with, but then again, if we hadn’t discovered him, then we wouldn’t have known about Michael’s proof of his stalking. It was so fucked up, I still couldn’t wrap my mind around it. The fact that this sick motherfucker was still obsessed with my daughter made me see red. Clearly, prison had taught him nothing, leaving me with some tough choices to make.

I scrubbed my hands down my three-day beard. I was drained to the point of exhaustion. I was alone with just my nightmares to keep me company. No one knew I was home except for Tommy, best to leave it that way for now. I turned over and forced my eyes to close and begged for sleep to takeover.

Eight hours later, my grumbling stomach forced me to wake up. I lost track to when I ate last. Was it at the marina with Nickel? My legs were wobbly as I finally managed to get up and out of bed. My head didn’t feel any better. Looking out from my window, it was dark again, proof that I missed another day while losing myself to my pain and loss.

After a shower, I took my private path down to my office. No one could gain access to me upstairs in my home nor my office without me knowing it. It was a safeguard I had put in place when I designed this place. My family was my first priority to protect, and although I wasn’t present on the streets, I still had enemies from my years spent there. My reputation spoke for itself, which stopped would-be assholes for even contemplating striking against me, but there was always a first time for someone believing they could.

I pulled out my bottle of Hirsch and poured myself a drink. Not the greatest decision I could make, knowing I hadn’t eaten in a while. I called Tommy on the private line upstairs in the bar, and he answered immediately. I asked him to bring me some food, although I wasn’t sure if I could even eat it. The alcohol numbed my pain, and it made it easier to forget the realities of my life.