An Unexpected Christmas (14 page)

April

I knew Nate was frustrated with
me but I didn't know what to do. Every time I thought about leaving and having
to end it I felt sick. I knew I had to do it, before he dumped me. I wasn't
good enough for him, I knew that and eventually he would realise it too. I
didn't think I could take him ending it. I think that would break me completely
and I don't think it would be something I could recover from. No, it was best
that I put an end to it first but I knew I would have tonight and tomorrow to
pretend that everything was perfect and I wasn't going to let anything spoil
tonight.

I had spent the afternoon helping
Maggie and Ella set everything up for the party. When I told Ella that Roddy
had dropped off the box of decorations she had looked disappointed at missing
him and I knew I had to do something to sort them out. She liked him, that I
was certain about, and I was pretty confident that he liked her too they just
hadn't seemed to have cottoned on themselves.

My parents rang just after lunch
and I realised just how much I had missed them.

'Merry Christmas.' They sang down
the phone. And I could practically see them standing together, huddled around
the phone so they could both hear me.

'Merry Christmas. How is New
York?'

'Bloody freezing.' My dad
chortled and I could just see my mum swatting him. 'Your mother has dragged me
to every sight on and off the island.'

'It's been wonderful.' She was
ignoring his last comment. 'Bill and Karen have been so kind in showing us
around. We have been to the Statue of Liberty and around Ellis Island and we
have tickets for a show tomorrow, I'm quite excited about it.'

'That does sound wonderful. I'm
glad you are having so much fun.'

'We just wanted to give you a
quick call to wish you a merry Christmas and to make sure you are alright.'

'I'm good. I'm having the best
time.' The thought of Nate and his kisses entered my mind and I couldn't keep
the smile from my face.

'We are glad to hear it. Well we
better go, love you lots, bye darling.'

'Love you both, bye.' I hung up
and clutched my phone to my chest. I was glad that they were having such a good
time, they deserved a fantastic holiday and what better place than New York.

At around six thirty I stood in
front of the mirror in my room and checked out my reflection. Ella hadn't
warned me of their annual Christmas Eve party but luckily I had packed a dress
just in case she dragged me out one night. It was dark blue and strappy with a
v-neck and stopped just above my knees. I had teemed it with my silver glittery
Jimmy Choos, the diamond stud earrings my sister had bought me for my birthday
and my only Tiffany necklace which I had purchased with my very first pay
cheque from my new career. I smiled at my reflection and realised that for the
first time I was dressing for a man and not myself and I didn't feel ashamed
about it. There was a knock on my door then it was pushed open. Ella walked in,
a glass in each hand, and moved to sit on my bed.

'Oh April, you look amazing.' I
turned and smiled, then took the glass of champagne she held out for me.

'Thank you. You look stunning as
usual.' We clinked glasses then took a sip as I sat next to her on the bed.

'Are you excited about tonight?'
Ella crossed her legs and leaned casually back on the bed.

'I am. I can't remember the last
time I went to a house party.' I took another casual sip of my champagne and
savoured the taste and the tickle of the bubbles on my tongue.

'I love our Christmas Eve
parties; they are always so much fun. Mum has been hosting one every year since
she moved here. Everyone in the village usually attends and it can get pretty
rowdy but I don't ever remember a Christmas Eve I haven't enjoyed in this
house.'

Her words made me think that
maybe she had experienced a Christmas that wasn't so happy. I wanted to ask but
now wasn't the time. 'I can't wait.'

Ella took another sip of her
drink then after a moment's pause she looked at me over the top of her glass,
'Can I ask...' Her eyes narrowed a little, 'is there something going on with
you?'

'What do you mean?' I took
another sip.

'I don't know, there just seems
to be something different about you.' I shrugged at her. I couldn't tell her
that the one thing different was the fact that I had fallen for her brother and
I was pretty sure I was in love with him.

'Nothing's different that I know
of.' She scrunched up her eyes and studied me. I smiled back at her, feigning
innocence until she let out a 'hum' noise and shook her head.

'Alright. But if you need to talk
about anything, at any time, you know I'm here.'

'Same goes for me.' I smiled at
her and after a moment we are both giggling.

'Good, so are you ready?'

'As I'll ever be.' She laughed
and we headed downstairs.

The house began to fill up
quickly. Ella had been right, it seemed like everyone in the village had been
invited and turned up. Ella and Maggie introduced me to lots of people, from
the butcher to their next door neighbour, and all the time I tried to keep an
eye out for Nate. He had disappeared in to the office just after Maggie and
Ella got back with the shopping and I hadn't seen him since.

I was on my second glass of
champagne and was chatting about baby names with Victoria and James, giggling
over the ridiculous names James kept suggesting. We were standing in the dining
room where Maggie, Ella and I had laid out an impressive buffet and Victoria
had insisted on camping out so she could be close to the food. I was just about
to pick a small sandwich off one of the platters when I spotted Nate in the
doorway. I looked at him and smiled and a fluttery feeling entered my stomach
when he smiled back. I could hear Victoria and James arguing playfully about
the name Avery but I didn't acknowledge them; I was caught up in Nate's gaze
and only when his mother came and stood next to him and pulled him gently by
the arm did our eye contact break.

I turned my attention back to the
couple next to me and wondered about what I had felt all day. I had missed him.
I had only known him for a few days but when he hadn't been around and I hadn't
had much to keep my mind off him, I had missed him and a feeling of dread had
entered my body and taken up residence. Was this how it would feel once I had
left? Would it be worse when I knew I wouldn't see him again? Probably, and it
would all be my fault. I let out a breath and excused myself; I really needed
some fresh air. I walked through the room and down the hall to the kitchen.
There was a coat hanging by the back door so I snagged it and pulled it on. I
slipped out of the back door and into the cold night.

The sky was clear and I could see
an abundance of stars. I wandered a little way from the house and stood looking
at the sky. It really was beautiful but freezing cold. I pulled the collar of
the coat up around my chin and got a whiff of a scent I was getting too
familiar with. It was Nate's coat, how had I not noticed it was Nate's coat? I
closed my eyes and focused on the smell. It filled my senses and brought on
memories I would savour for years to come. The feeling of dread and loneliness
filled me again but I smiled at it. I had those feelings because I had
experienced something I never thought I would. I had connected with someone in
a way I never thought I was capable of and that was something to smile about.

'What are you doing out here
alone?' I opened my eyes and turned to the man standing next to me. He was
looking up at the stars and not at me and I took the opportunity to study his
profile. He had a strong forehead and a long slope to his nose, a chiselled jaw
line that looked freshly shaved and coupled with his high cheekbones, he really
was stunningly handsome.

'I just needed a little fresh
air. It was getting a little crowded in there.' He looked at me then.

'You don't like crowds?'

'Not really. I'll be okay; I just
needed a little space and some air.' I turned to look back at the stars. 'It's
amazing isn't it? All those stars and planets, just suspended out there.' He
slipped his hand into mine.

'Feeling a little philosophical
are we?' I could hear the smile in his voice and I was glad that his mood had
improved from this morning.

'No, just thinking out loud.' I
squeezed his hand. 'We should go back inside; people will wonder where we
disappeared to, that, and it's freezing.' He leaned down and whispered.

'I know something that would warm
you up.' I laughed and punched him in the arm.

'You are such a boy.' It was then
that I heard the opening bars to 'Merry Christmas Everybody'. I pulled my phone
out of the pocket in my dress and checked the screen. 'It's my sister, I should
take this.'

Nate nodded and kissed me on the
forehead. 'Don't stay out too long; I don't want you getting sick.'  

I watched as he walked back into
the house. I took a deep breath then hit the answer button. 'Hey Abby, Happy
Christmas Eve.' I pulled the coat tighter about myself.

'Happy Christmas Eve. How is
everything? Is that music I can hear?'

'Yes, we're having a party at the
house.' I shifted from foot to foot trying to keep warm.

'Oh, a party sounds fun.' I heard
her let out a heavy sigh. 'I used to have fun, now I spend the evenings making
tutus and am currently trying to figure out how to wrap a scooter and a giant
panda.'

I laughed. 'Well good luck with
that. How are the kids? Excited?'

'They were running around all day
hyped up on sugar thanks to their father. They are asleep now and so I'm
indulging in a very large glass of wine.' I heard her take a sip and I smiled.

'That sounds good. I hope Scott
is helping with the wrapping.'

'No, he is on wine duty, that and
making sure I haven't forgotten any presents. You know, I found a bottle of
scotch I was supposed to give to Dad last Christmas, in July.'

'You are turning into Mum; she is
always leaving things in the back of the wardrobe and discovering them again
months later.'

'Don't say that I'm only thirty
four, I'm too young to become our mother.' I could hear the rustle of paper and
was impressed with her multi-tasking. 'Anyway, I would rather be in your shoes.
A party sounds fun. Will you let me know how it goes and if you happen to get
caught under the mistletoe?' I chuckled at her request. I hoped I would be
kissing someone later but I wasn't ready to divulge the details to anyone.

'I'm not promising you anything.
I should probably go and let you get back to your wrapping. I will see you in
the New Year.'

'Alright, have an amazing
Christmas. Love you.'

'Love you too. Bye.' I ended the
call and slipped my phone back into my pocket.

An hour later I was standing by
the window in the living room and smiling at the sight before me. Ella was
standing over the other side of the room chatting to Roddy and looking pretty
happy herself. I knew her signs of flirting; she would tuck her blonde hair
behind her ear then touch the guys arm gently. Ella was totally flirting with
Roddy and he looked as though it was already Christmas morning and he got just
what he asked Santa for.

'What are you so happy about?' I
turned and looked into piercing blue eyes. Daniel had come and stood beside me
and I had to admit he looked good in his crisp white shirt and dark grey
trousers and a small smile on his face. I ignored his question and asked one of
my own.

'How long have Ella and Roddy
known each other?'

Daniel looked over at the couple.
'About four years. Why?'

I looked back at him and raised my
eyebrows. 'Really?'

'What?' He looked from me to them
then back to me.

'You don't see what I see?' I
gestured across the room to where the couple stood close together quite
obviously flirting. 'They clearly like each other.'

He looked back over to them.
'Ella and Roddy? I'm not sure.'

I shook my head and laughed.
'What's funny?' I turned to my left and had to shift my gaze upward to look at
Nate, he really was very tall. I grinned up at him.

'I was laughing at the fact that
Daniel hadn't noticed that Roddy and Ella like each other.' Nate looked across
the room.

'They do?'

'Men!' I shook my head again and
giggled, 'I'm going to get a drink.'

'I could get one for you,' Daniel
suggested.

'It's all right.' I sent him a
smile then turned to Nate who gave me a questioning look, my only response was
a quick wink before crossing the room to the kitchen. After pouring myself
another glass of champagne I hopped up onto the table.

'What are you doing in here all
alone?' I looked up as Ella walked over to the bottle of champagne on the table
and poured herself a glass full.

'Just thinking.' I watched as she
came up and leaned against the table at my side. 'Ella, why didn't you tell me
you liked Roddy?'

She took along drink. 'There is
nothing to tell.'

'That's not true though is it?' I
studied her for a moment. She was running her fingers up and down the stem of
her glass in thought. Her thought process flicked across her face, from looking
scared to worry then it seemed to soften and a small smile crossed her face. It
had taken me a while to work it out but that small smile and the way her eyes
softened I knew this was different.

'I like him.' Her voice came out
only just above a whisper; that if she spoke any louder someone might over hear
us. 'I've liked him for years. I just don't know how to tell him. This isn't
like the other guys I have dated. Roddy's different. He's funny and smart and
so sexy that I can't stop grinning when I look at him, or think of him.' She
turned to look at me then. 'Tell me what to do.' I pulled her into a hug. I had
no comforting words for her. I knew what she was going through was hard but my
mind drifted to my own messed up thoughts and nothing I had ever experienced
would help.