An Uncommon Grace (15 page)

She let the words hang in the air waiting for a reaction, but Levi weighed his words before he answered. His mother had been young when she had given birth to him, and young when she was widowed. Only seventeen years of age
separated them. Because of this, in many ways they had grown up together. There was a strong friendship between them with total honesty. They knew each other well, and he understood exactly what she was asking him. One of the greatest fears an Amish mother had for her son was that he would get caught up in a love relationship with an
Englisch
woman.

For a grown man like Levi, who had already accepted baptism into the Swartzentruber church, even the hint of a relationship with an
Englisch
woman was forbidden.

“Grace Connor saved your life when I went to her for help,” he said. “She took the children to Rose’s and drove me to Columbus. She bought me water when I could not leave Daniel’s side. She refused payment for any of this. Because of all she did for our family, I did not think an ordinary basket was payment enough.”

“That is good, then,” his mother said. “You paid our debt with the very best you had. She seemed well pleased with your gift, son. She said that a nurse friend is envious and wants one, also.”

A feeling of pride filled his body at his mother’s words. It pleased him that Grace had liked it well enough to boast of it to a friend.

“I don’t want to get into the business of making those,” Levi said. “No one would pay me enough to justify the hours I put into it.”

He thought he had skillfully avoided his mother’s need to know how he felt about Grace Connor. He was wrong.

“Our neighbor is an attractive woman.”

For the first time in his life, Levi found himself avoiding an honest exchange with his mother.

“She is too worldly in the way she dresses and acts.”

“Yes.” His mother seemed satisfied with his answer. “I agree. She is kind, but she is entirely too much of the world.”

“Now that I know the baby is better, I will start work in the far field this afternoon.”

“Are you hungry?” Rose asked.

“Some food would be good.”

As Rose dished out stew and sliced bread, he handed Daniel back to his mother.

“The bishop was here,” he said, “while you were asleep.”

“That is what Rose told me.” His mother checked the baby’s diaper and then positioned him over her shoulder. “Do you know what he wanted?”

“He was not pleased when he discovered that Rose was still with us.”

His mother glanced at her sister. “I know.”

“He says that she is to go home, and he will send Zillah to stay with you.”

A frown creased her brow. “Zillah?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want Zillah to stay?”

He shook his head. “I have not cared for her since we were scholars together. She was unkind to other girls when she thought no one was looking.”

“People change,” his mother said.

“I have not yet seen signs of it in her.”

“Zillah and you are of marriageable age. If you spend many days beneath the same roof, our people will expect a marriage to be announced. I have heard that the bishop is afraid his daughter will become an
alt Maidel
—an old maid.”

“And I believe that is the true reason Bishop Weaver is sending her to stay here.”

“I will pray that she chooses not to stay long,” Claire said. “I am afraid the bishop will be greatly offended if we send his daughter home before she wishes to go.”

“And I will pray, also,” Levi said, “with much persistence.”

L
evi could see Grace and Becky sitting on Elizabeth’s back porch in the swing. They were playing with a kitten, dangling a string of yarn in front of it. It was not his way to spy on his neighbors, but he could see that they were enjoying themselves. Their laughter rang out over the kitten’s antics. What a blessing for Elizabeth to have such granddaughters. He wondered if the sound of their laughter wouldn’t speed her healing.

He smiled to himself as he watched them. They made a pretty picture together. It was good for sisters to be close, as his mother and Rose had once been. He could remember when Rose had been a daily part of his mother’s life. The fact that they had not seen each other for ten years because Rose had decided to become Old Order struck him as unnecessary. The fact that Rose would have to be shunned again after this crisis was over seemed cruel.

He did not understand why they should not have fellowship with a woman as fine as his aunt. It seemed awfully rigid of the bishop to insist that she leave so soon.

There were so many Amish churches that had kind, godly men leading them. Levi envied those districts. But he and his family were bound by geography to Bishop Weaver’s church.
It wasn’t as though he could hop into a car and drive to a Swartzentruber church he liked better.

By the time he made the next turn and came back over the hill the sisters were gone. As he plowed, his eyes sought for problems that might be developing in Elizabeth’s farmhouse or on one of the many outbuildings behind the house. He noticed that a gutter pipe was sagging off the kitchen roof. He should repair it before the next rainstorm.

Before Grace moved in, he would have simply gone over and made the repair. Elizabeth had been good to him and his family, and he tried to watch over her. But things were not as simple now. His people could care less about his helping an elderly neighbor. Even Bishop Weaver would not find fault with that, but now that Grace was there, he would have to be careful not to be seen at her house much.

Each time he came to the fencerow, the one that separated his land from Elizabeth’s, that sagging gutter pipe bothered him.

He finished the field, leaving the plow where he had stopped, ready to use again in the morning. Then he took his horses in for a good feed. Today had been a shorter day than he would attempt later in the season, but his horses were like humans in some ways, needing to get their muscles back into condition after a winter of laziness. They would become strong in a few days that he would be able to work them from sunup to sundown with only a few breaks in between.

He drew a bucket of water from the well and poured it into an outdoor basin where he washed before he went inside. It was suppertime and now that little Daniel’s belly was not troubling him so much and Rose was presiding in the kitchen, his home would be a pleasant place.

Except—as he approached the open kitchen door, he saw
Zillah sitting at the table, sipping tea and eating a cookie, while Rose stirred something on the stove. The moment she saw him, Zillah jumped to her feet and made a show of helping his aunt.

“Here, let me do that.” Zillah grabbed the spoon out of Rose’s hand. As he entered, she slyly glanced over her shoulder and pretended to see him for the first time.

“Hello, Levi!”

His mother was sitting up in the rocking chair for the first time since she had been home. He scanned her face trying to read her expression, hoping to see how she was faring with Zillah’s presence in the house. Was it tolerable? After one long look had passed between them, she turned away and began to fuss over the blanket she had wrapped around his little brother, and he was no more enlightened than before he had entered the room.

All he knew was that he was grateful that he had built that room for himself over his stepfather’s workshop. That is where he would stay until Zillah was gone. He had no intention of sleeping beneath the same roof.

“
Bischt foddich shoffa heit?
” Rose asked.

“Yes,” he answered. “I’m done working for today.”

Rose wiped her hands on her apron. “Have a seat. I’ll dish out the
Buhnesupp.
”

“Bean soup is my favorite, Rose. Thank you for making it.”

“The
soup
was no trouble.” For the first time since Rose had come, he heard a note of irritation in her voice. Even when little Daniel would not quit crying, his aunt had managed to be patient and steady. Was she simply missing her own family? Or was Zillah already getting on her nerves?

Zillah helped carry some of the dishes to the table, constantly glancing at him from the corner of her eyes. Eventually, when the three of them were seated, they bowed their
heads in silent prayer and then Rose stood and dished out a plate for his mother, who remained in her rocker. Rose then took the baby out of Claire’s arms so she could eat. Unfortunately, Rose chose to sit down on the bed with Daniel instead of coming back to the table—which left Levi and Zillah sitting at the table alone, across from one another. Like a married couple.

It was worse than awkward. He could think of absolutely nothing to say to this girl . . . and so he ate in silence.

His mother, gracious woman that she was, tried to carry on a polite conversation with Zillah from her rocking chair.

“And how long will your father and mother be able to do without you in their home, Zillah?” Claire asked.

He smiled inwardly at the polite way his mother had chosen to discover how long Zillah would be living beneath their roof.

“Oh, they don’t need me right now.” Another flirtatious glance at Levi. “My father told me to stay for as long as I want.”

If Zillah was as annoying to her father as she was to everyone else, he had no doubt that the bishop would be thrilled to have the girl off his hands for a while. He buttered some bread and concentrated on quickly filling his stomach. The sooner he finished, the sooner he could get up from the table.

“In fact, Rose,” Zillah continued, “my father said to tell you that now that I am here, there is no reason for you to stay even one more day. He says that you should be getting back to your own family—and your own church.”

He saw Rose bite her lip.

Zillah dished a liberal dollop of mashed potatoes onto her plate and then forked two pieces of beefsteak on top of it. She had already piled her plate high with the green beans and corn
that his mother had so laboriously raised, picked, and canned the summer before. There was, he saw, no birdlike appetite here.

Zillah chatted on as though oblivious to the effect she was having on everyone in the room.

“In fact, my father says that Rose should not be here at all.” Zillah stuffed a forkful of beefsteak into her mouth. “My father says that since you are Old Order, Rose, we should not even be eating with you.”

Rose was pressing her lips together so hard now, they were growing white. The Amish could be a blunt people, and they were definitely an honest people, but they were seldom deliberately rude. Zillah, however, didn’t seem to care.

It was the strangest thing. She truly was a beautiful girl. If one just looked at her face and her body, her demure clothing, her perfectly starched prayer
Kapp
, one would think that she was the epitome of modest, lovely, Amish womanhood. But all it took was a few minutes in Zillah’s presence, and any man with common sense would run for the hills.

There seemed to be something critical missing from her heart. Levi had picked up on it in third grade, when she had pointed out another little girl’s scuffed and oversized shoes, which were obvious hand-me-downs from the child’s older brother. Zillah had made fun of her one recess until the little girl cried.

Most Amish children, had they accidentally teased a playmate to the point of tears, would have been crushed and sorry for having caused such pain. But not Zillah. As the other little girl wept, he had seen a self-satisfied smile curl Zillah’s mouth, and her eyes had danced with pleasure. The memory of Zillah savoring her deliberate cruelty that day, and on other occasions, made him cringe.

Why on earth she had developed an attachment to him, he couldn’t
fathom. But she had, and it had been the bane of his life.

When supper was over, he helped his mother back into bed and got Daniel situated on his little wedge-shaped pillow. Then he went into the kitchen and found Rose elbow deep in dishwater.

“Isn’t Zillah supposed to be helping you with that?” he asked.

“She went to the outhouse and hasn’t come back yet.”

“I’ll help you, then.”

“Dishwashing is not a man’s job.”

He picked up a drying cloth and a wet plate. “Nor is it yours to do it all alone.”

“I don’t mind washing dishes, but I do need to know something. Do you want me to leave, Levi?” Rose said. “Do you feel it is wrong for me to be here?”

“As far as I’m concerned”—Levi picked up another plate and polished it dry—“you could stay here forever. But I know your
Kinner
are missing you.”

“Thank you, Levi.” Rose sighed with relief. “But what will you do? Zillah doesn’t strike me as someone who is willing to take on the task of fully caring for this family, and yet with the bishop’s daughter living here I doubt the other churchwomen will see the need to pitch in. Especially since they’ve already spent so much time here and have so many chores of their own.”

“It will be all right.
Maam
will heal. Little Daniel will get stronger. And we will send Zillah back to her father as quickly as possible.”

“Be careful, Levi,” Rose said. “I don’t trust that girl. She looks at you like a hawk looks at a plump chicken.”

Levi wasn’t thrilled with the comparison, but Rose had gotten her point across.

“I have known Zillah for a long time,” Levi said. “I can handle her.”

“But you cannot handle what she might say to others about living here. She has her
Kapp
set for you. If you are not careful she will be giving the church the news of your marriage before you even know what’s happening.”

“Perhaps, but she cannot force me to say the words that will bind me to her.”

Rose turned away from the sink and laid one damp hand against Levi’s cheek.

“I am so sorry that Abraham was killed. And I would give anything if your mother had not been wounded. There is great evil in the world, and sometimes, no matter how careful we are, or how well we treat our neighbors, that evil will hurt us.” She looked deep into his eyes. “But remember that God will somehow manage to turn evil into good for those who love Him. Satan can hurt us, but he cannot destroy us.”