An Unbroken Heart (17 page)

She looked upset as he helped her into his buggy. A little angry, even, as he put
his hand at her waist. He wanted to keep
it there and savor the contact for a few
moments, like he had last week when he took her home from his house. It was getting
harder to resist putting his arms around her. But now wasn't the time, and it definitely
wasn't the place in front of the congregation. She also didn't seem open to an affectionate
gesture from him. In fact, she seemed very closed, staring at her lap while he got
into the buggy and then gathered Fred's reins.

As they made their way back to his house, he thought about his conversation with
Joanna last night—or rather, the lack of conversation. He felt bad for not visiting
her earlier in the week like he'd promised, but he'd been too tired after working
on the addition. He was pushing himself. Even during the church service he had trouble
staying awake, despite the anticipation of Freemont announcing his engagement. He
would have tried harder to talk to Joanna last night, but he couldn't make the effort.

He was also a little bothered that she hadn't made much of an effort, either. Maybe
she'd been mad at him for not keeping his word. Or maybe she was truly tired, like
she'd said. He didn't know because she wouldn't tell him anything. She didn't confide
in him the way she used to before they were dating. And she was especially reticent
since the accident.

If he hadn't been confused about how to handle his relationship before, he was definitely
baffled
now.
All he could do was try to do right by her and pray that after the
wedding
she
would be more at ease.
I could use some ease, too, Lord. Help me out
here.

Fortunately he didn't live too far from the Zooks', so he and Joanna didn't have
to endure the awkward silence in the buggy for very long. He pulled into the driveway
and to the barn. “It will only take me a second to put Fred up. If you need help
getting out, I can do that first.”

She looked at him. “I need to do it myself, Andrew. The more I do, the faster I'll
get better.”

“You don't have to rush, though.”

“I'm not.” She smiled, and this time he saw a little sparkle in her eyes. “I'm okay,
Andrew. I promise.”

He nodded, her words encouraging him and also making him think his worries about
their relationship might be for nothing.

After he stabled Fred he walked out of the barn and saw Joanna limping to the back
of the house where the addition was. He moved beside her, slowing his steps until
they were in front of the structure. Thanks to Asa, they'd made a lot of progress.
The foundation, walls, and roof were finished, including the drywall, which Asa knew
how to do. He led her to the door. It still needed staining. He also wanted to add
a screen door, but he would do that after the wedding. He opened the door and stood
behind her, clasping his hands behind his back as she navigated the two steps to
get into the house.
Please, Lord, let her like it. It's not much, but I hope it's
enough to make her happy.

“It's nice,” she said when they were inside.

Nice. He wasn't sure how to take that. “It will look better once we paint it.” Andrew
walked to the kitchen area, which led into a cozy living space. At least he'd tried
to make it cozy. It was definitely meager, like every room in the addition. “I know
the kitchen's small, but we can make it bigger later. The cabinets are arriving tomorrow.”
He paused and cleared his throat. “Do you, uh, want to see the bedroom?”

She paused, then nodded shyly. He walked through the small living area to a door
and opened it. The room wasn't very big, but it was enough for the two of them. “You
can bring whatever furniture you want,” he said, holding the door open for her.

She hobbled inside and looked around the bare room. The scent of sawdust and drywall
still permeated the space. A small smile formed on her lips. “
Danki
, Andrew. This
is nice.”

That word again. Was that all she could say? He'd hoped for more enthusiasm. His
gut churned. “You don't like it?”

“I do. I like it a lot. It will be a nice home.”

He hid his disappointment at her lackluster reaction. After a long moment of silence,
he said, “
Mamm
and Irene are probably home by now. Are you hungry?”

“Not really.”

He looked at her, and for the first time he noticed the shadows under her eyes.
He mentally kicked himself. Here he was upset with her underwhelming response to
his hard work, and it was clear she was exhausted. “Do you want to
geh
home?”

“Andrew, I—”

“It's okay if you do.” He stepped toward her, wanting to run the back of his hand
across her pale cheek. She'd lost quite a bit of weight since the accident, and she
hadn't had much to spare to begin with. But as usual, he kept his hands in his pockets.
“I don't want you to get too tired.”

She opened her mouth as if to protest, then nodded. “I am tired.”

“I'll hitch up Fred, then.”

A short while later he pulled into the Schrocks' driveway. On the way to her house,
he had thought about asking her what was really wrong. Did she want to postpone the
wedding? Or call it off completely? If she did, he wanted to let her know he understood.
That he was sorry he was pressuring her. He brought Fred to a stop and turned to
her. “Joanna, I—”

She was asleep.

He watched her for a moment, his shoulders relaxing. She looked beautiful with her
long eyelashes resting against the tops of her cheeks. Soon he would awaken every
morning to her lovely face. The thought chased away his doubts and made his heart
squeeze with happiness. He also reminded himself that she was still healing.
Patience.
I've got to have patience.

He was about to wake her up and tell her she was home when he had an idea. He climbed
out of the buggy and went to her. Gently, he put his arms around her and lifted her
from the seat. She didn't open her eyes, just snuggled her cheek against his shoulder.
His heartbeat tripled as he carried her to the house. She was light in his arms and
felt like she belonged there.

Not wanting to disrupt her sleep, he opened the kitchen door and walked in. Sadie
and Aden were at the table eating lunch. Sadie opened her mouth to say something,
but Aden touched her arm. He put his finger to his lips. Andrew was about to mouth
the word
bedroom
when Sadie gestured to a room off the kitchen.

He laid Joanna down on the bed, careful not to disturb her sleep. Then he stood back
and
surveyed
the room. He'd never been in Joanna's bedroom before, and he was surprised
at
how
sparse it was. There was nothing here that seemed to reflect Joanna's personality,
except
for
a pink-and-gray woven rug on the floor. Then he realized this wasn't
her
room,
only a temporary one. She couldn't navigate the stairs, not with any ease.
She
can't
even sleep in her own room.
Another reminder of how much she'd lost and
how
difficult
her life had been after the accident.

He tarried a few minutes and watched her sleep, relieved to see the strain and tension
on her face had disappeared. Unable to resist, he bent down and kissed her cheek,
his lips lingering
for a moment. She didn't stir as he finally pulled away. He looked
at her for a long moment, thinking about how much he loved her. All he wanted was
for her to be happy, to feel as peaceful as she looked right now. He would do anything
to make that happen.

CHAPTER 10

A
ndrew's taking Joanna home,” Irene said, looking out the window as her brother guided
his buggy onto the street.

“Already?”
Mamm
said. “I thought she might stay for lunch.”

“Maybe she was tired.”

“I think she was definitely tired.”

Irene sat at the table and worked on her grocery list. Plenty of food still needed
to be prepared for the wedding. As she perused her list, she sighed. She was happy
for Andrew and Joanna, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

“More shopping?” her mother asked as she set a chicken salad sandwich in front of
Irene.

“
Ya
. I'll
geh
to the Schrocks' in the morning and purchase what I need.”

“I'll
geh
with you. I'm sure those
maeds
are getting overwhelmed with the planning,
plus still running the store.” She started to peel a boiled egg.

Irene tried to work on the list, but she couldn't focus. Finally
she put down her
pencil. “
Mamm
, do you think Andrew and Joanna are doing the right thing?”

Mamm
paused mid-peel. “Why do you ask that?”

“I know they love each other. And I do think they should get married. But I'm wondering
if it's the right time.”

Mamm
set the half-peeled egg on her plate. “I can't tell Andrew what to do. Joanna
said yes to his proposal. If she didn't want to marry him, she wouldn't have agreed
to.”

“But so soon?”

Her mother put her hand on Irene's. “It's not our business. I know you care about
yer bruder
and Joanna. But they've made their decision. We can only pray it's the
right one for them, even if we might disagree with the timing.”

“Maybe we should let them have some time together after the wedding. You know, without
us around.”

“What do you mean?”

“I thought we might take a trip to Shipshewana. Except for moving to Birch Creek,
we haven't been anywhere since . . . since
Daed
left.”

Rubbing her forehead,
Mamm
looked down at her plate. “I'm not sure we should leave
right now.”

“Why? You could see Asa's
mudder
while we're there. I know you've missed her since
the Bontragers moved.” Irene still didn't know what was going on with Asa. With Andrew
being so busy with work and building the addition—not to mention being moody lately—she
hadn't had a chance to talk to him. Asa came over during the day, but he kept to
himself. He brought his own water and food and refused Irene's invitations to come
inside for lunch. It seemed that everyone was acting
seltsam
lately.

“We'll see.”
Mamm
went back to peeling her egg, but she didn't look at Irene.

“We would only be gone for a week or so. It would be fun. An adventure. It would
also be nice to get out of Birch Creek for a while—”

“I said we'll see. Let's get through the wedding first,
ya
?”

Irene picked up her pencil, feeling thoroughly chastised. Her mother rarely raised
her voice.
Add
mei
mother to the list of people acting out of character.

“Irene?”

She looked up and saw the sadness in her mother's eyes.

“I'm sorry. I promise we'll talk about taking a vacation once the wedding is done.”
She cupped Irene's cheek, something she hadn't done since Irene was a child. “You're
a lot like
yer vatter
,” she said, her tone wistful. “He was always looking for adventure.
I see a lot of him in you.”

Irene swallowed. “Does it bother you?”

“
Nee
. I just wish—”
Mamm
paused. “I wish he was here to see what a wonderful woman
you've become.”

Irene was close to tears. Her mother never mentioned
Daed
, and Irene never asked
about him. She had been angry with him for leaving, but slowly over the years she'd
tried to set that aside. Now she realized that eventually her mother would be alone.
Andrew was getting married, and Irene still held out hope that she would marry, too,
even though the prospects in Birch Creek were limited.

Not to mention that for some bizarre reason she couldn't keep her gaze or mind off
Sol Troyer at church this morning. Part of it was that every time she attended service,
she remembered his confession and the raw honesty he'd displayed that day.
The other
part . . . Well, she couldn't explain that. The more she told herself not to think
about Sol, the more she thought about him. But she had to keep the reminder of her
father foremost in her mind. She didn't want to end up like her mother—alone.

“Why aren't you mad at him?” Irene asked. She'd never voiced the question to her
mother, not wanting to upset her or dredge up painful memories. But lately she wasn't
in control of her thoughts, or her mouth.

Mamm
hesitated before answering. “I was angry when he first left.” She looked away.
“But I forgave him. I had to.”

“Because of our faith.”

“
Ya
. And because with forgiveness comes freedom.”