An O'Brien Family Christmas (8 page)

“Yes,” he admitted candidly.

“Then tell her that,” Gram advised. “Better yet, show her.”

“How?”

She smiled at him. “That engagement ring you bought isn’t doing a bit of good burning a hole in your pocket. Put it where it belongs.”

He shook his head. “She’s not ready.”

“She’s not, or you’re not?”

“I just told you that I want to marry her. Why else would I have bought the ring?”

“Hesitation never wins a man what he wants,” she advised. “You, my handsome grandson, are smart as a whip about many things. You may even have an insightful moment or two.”

“Thanks, I think.”

“Oh, that was fair praise,” she said. “What you’re not is a mind reader, not even when it’s the woman you love. Don’t make decisions based on what you
think
Laila wants or what you
think
she might be ready for. Act on your own desires and let her decide for herself. She could surprise you.”

She glanced beyond him and smiled. “Here she comes now. I’ll leave you two on your own. Don’t waste another opportunity.”

He stood when she did, then hugged her. “Thanks for the talk and the advice, Gram.”

“Anytime. That’s what I’m around for, to try to steer you young people in the direction you want to go. Sometimes it’s clear you’re not listening to your hearts the way you should be.”

On her way past Laila, she murmured something Matthew couldn’t hear, then went on toward the elevators. Laila’s gaze followed her before she turned back to Matthew.

“What were you two discussing?” she asked.

“This and that,” he told her. “What did she tell you?”

“That I’d never go wrong listening to my heart.”

Matthew smiled. “She said pretty much the same thing to me, though you got the condensed version.”

Laila smiled. “I love your grandmother.”

“So do I. Now, do you really want to spend this evening with the entire family or should we sneak off and do something on our own?”

“Such as?”

“We could have dinner in your room,” he suggested.

She laughed. “And we both know where that would lead. I thought you’d made a vow to keep your hands to yourself on this trip.”

“Temptation keeps getting in my way,” he retorted. “But if that’s out of the question, let’s go dancing.”

“Isn’t that what everyone else plans to do later?”

“Ah, but they’re going someplace traditionally Irish where the dancing will be energetic. I’ve something a bit more romantic in mind.”

She studied him a moment. “You’re in an odd mood tonight.”

“You can thank my grandmother for that. She’s been putting ideas in my head.”

“Romantic ideas?” she asked, looking startled.

He nodded. “Does that scare you?”

She held his gaze, her cheeks tinted pink with a surprising blush. “Not half as much as it should.”

“Then we have a date?”

“We have a date,” she said solemnly.

“I’ll let the family know,” he said. “Grab your coat and meet me back here in ten minutes.”

She started toward the elevators, then turned back. “Matthew?”

“Yes?”

“We’ve never had a real date before.”

“Of course we have,” he said, then paused and thought about it. “We really haven’t, have we?”

What they’d had were occasional drinks that had led to bed, a quick meal that had led to bed, a heated glance across a room that had led to bed. They had spent an awful lot of time with their clothes off and practically none out in public being a couple, discussing each other’s hopes and dreams.

He smiled at her. “We’re way overdue, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know. It’s recently been suggested to me that dating is highly overrated.”

“Who on earth said that?”

“Jess and Connie.”

He laughed. “Well, just look who you were talking to. Those two did everything humanly possible to drag out the entire dating process because they were terrified of making a commitment. Now that they have, they have the enthusiasm of the recently converted. I think we owe it to ourselves to give dating a chance.”

Laila nodded, then gave him a heated look that just about melted his resolve.

“As long as it doesn’t take too long,” she said, her gaze pointed. “I’ve been thinking that maybe I’d like to be a convert, too.”

For the first time in weeks, maybe months, Matthew’s heart soared. Maybe Gram was right and he’d been misreading all the signals. Maybe what he wanted was right in front of him, if only he’d reach for it.

5

N
ell thought she detected a flare of disappointment in Dillon’s eyes when she arrived at the train station with Matthew and Laila in tow.

“Dillon, this is my grandson, Matthew O’Brien, and his friend, Laila Riley. Her brother, Trace, is married to my granddaughter Abby.”

Whatever his disappointment, Dillon was too much the gentleman to make the young people feel uncomfortable. He gave them a beaming smile and took their hands. “It’s a pleasure to meet more of Nell’s family, though I admit I’ve been wondering why I’ve yet to see the first sign of her sons.”

“Mick and Jeff have been busy, and Thomas, in fact, has just arrived,” Nell was quick to say.

“As if that has anything to do with it,” Matthew teased. “Believe it or not, my grandmother is afraid my uncle Mick might forbid her to see you. He seems to have a real aversion to the idea of her dating.”

Dillon chuckled until he looked into Nell’s eyes. Then he reacted with dismay. “Can this be true? Your son disapproves of your dating, even though you’ve been a widow for some time now?”

“He’s simply having a little difficulty getting used to the idea,” Nell said, scowling at Matthew for making such a revelation. “For now I’m trying to be considerate of his feelings. You’ll all meet when the time is right.”

“Which, if Gram has her way, will be on the day we leave for home,” Matthew countered, a twinkle in his eyes. “I think she enjoys sneaking around and making my uncle a little crazy.”

Nell scowled at him. “Young man, you are not too old for me to send you back to the hotel to your room.”

Matthew laughed. “Will you send Laila with me?”

“She’s done nothing wrong,” Nell pointed out. “And that would turn a punishment into a reward, now, wouldn’t it?”

“To say nothing of the fact that I intend to see Howth today,” Laila added. “Matthew, behave yourself. Stop teasing your grandmother.”

Matthew sighed dramatically. “Now you’ve taken all the fun out of the day.”

Dillon looped an arm around his shoulders. “Buck up, Matthew. You’ve a beautiful woman by your side and we’re going to a picturesque seaside town. If you can’t enjoy yourself under those circumstances, then you’re not any relation of Nell’s. She’s a woman who’s always been able to find joy in any moment.”

Nell regarded Dillon with surprise. Was that how he remembered her? All she recalled were the tears she’d shed when she’d finally made her choice to leave Ireland and return to Maryland and the life her parents had wanted for her with Charles O’Brien. Duty had trumped what she’d felt at the time, convincing her it couldn’t possibly be anything more than infatuation. She’d left so much misery in her wake. All she remembered of that time was the heavy burden of her guilt. Time, apparently, had washed away whatever bitterness Dillon must have felt back then.

She saw the sign on the platform flash, indicating that their train was arriving. Her heart skipped a beat at the prospect of a day’s adventure down memory lane. This time, she assured herself, they would be happy memories. She’d make sure of that. How could they be otherwise when she was surrounded by people she loved?

“This hands-off business is good for us, don’t you agree?” Laila asked as she and Matthew followed the winding stone walkway that led along the edge of the sea at Howth. It curved around to create a charming marina that reminded her of Harbor Lights back home.

They’d left Nell and Dillon in a cozy café sipping tea and eating scones. When Laila and Matthew had gone off on their own to explore, Nell had been complaining that the scones weren’t nearly as good as her own.

Now, with the sea splashing against the rocks and a brisk wind blowing, Laila was chilled through, but she’d never been happier. The sun was playing tag with heavy, dark clouds and mostly winning, at least for the moment.

“You look half-frozen,” Matthew noted. “Are you sure you don’t want to go back and have a cup of tea?”

“Soon,” she said. “Right now I just want to absorb the fact that I’m here in this lovely place.”

“With me?” he asked quietly.

She turned to face him. “With you,” she agreed solemnly. “That’s what I meant before. I think we’re seeing each other differently, now that ripping each other’s clothes off isn’t an option.”

He smiled at that. “Is that so? How do you see me now?”

“As a wonderfully mature, complicated man who adores his grandmother,” she said, then tilted her head thoughtfully. “And maybe adores me.”

Heat flashed in his eyes. “I do adore you.” His expression turned serious. “I love you, Laila. For months now, I’ve made no secret of that.”

The words settled into a secret room in her heart and warmed her, but still she said, “I’m not sure I’m ready to believe that yet.”

He looked puzzled. “What do you mean? You think I’m lying?”

“Of course not,” she said at once. “But if I believe you, if I accept that your feelings really do run that deep, then there will be decisions to be made, won’t there? I’m not ready to face those decisions. Just being with you has cost me a lot. I have to deal with that, Matthew. Otherwise, I’ll wind up resenting you, which wouldn’t be fair at all. That’s why I called things off before.”

“Do you really not know your own heart?” he asked. “Or is it that you don’t trust mine?”

“A little of both,” she admitted candidly, hating the hurt she saw in his eyes. “But that’s why this time is so precious, Matthew. We’ve taken the pressure off. There’s nothing that has to be decided today or tomorrow or even the next day. We’re just here together.” She regarded him hopefully. “Can’t that be enough for you for now?”

“For now,” he conceded eventually, then added earnestly, “But I want more, Laila. I want it all—the house, the family, the future. I won’t settle for less, and I won’t wait forever.”

She frowned at what sounded a lot like an ultimatum. “It’s not entirely up to you, you know.”

“Believe me, I get that. You’ve made all the rules up to now. If you ask me, some of them haven’t worked out so well, especially the one that kept our families in the dark. Maybe it’s time I made a few rules of my own.”

She regarded him with a narrowed gaze. “Such as?”

“Not letting you treat this relationship as if it’s something to be ashamed of, for one thing. Surely, around my family at least, we can be open about it. They’ve done nothing but accept us as a couple.”

“Agreed,” she said at once. “Hiding it from them was a mistake, no question about it.”

“Okay, then. And we won’t let your father dictate what happens between us.”

She regarded Matthew with annoyance. “I thought I’d made it clear that my father’s not involved in my decisions any longer.”

He tucked a finger under her chin and forced her to meet his gaze. “I know you want to believe that, want to stick to it, but his opinion still matters to you. I just want you to commit to not letting it be the deciding factor.”

Sadly, she could see his reasoning. Much as she wanted to believe she could turn her back on her father, it was going to be harder than she’d anticipated. She’d spent too many years trying to please him to change overnight.

“Fair enough,” she told Matthew, pleased that he understood her so well, even if the insight didn’t speak highly of her and the influence her father continued to have over her life. She either had to break that bond—sever it with no regrets, which seemed unlikely—or find a new strategy for dealing with not only her father, but her mother as well. Those two had acted as one as far back as Laila could remember, even when she and Trace had thought for sure that their mother sympathized with them.

Laila shivered once more in the cold, damp air, and this time she couldn’t ignore it. “I think I’d like to have that tea now,” she told Matthew.

“Good idea, since your lips are turning blue,” he teased. “I could remedy that right here.”

Her breath caught. “Oh?”

His gaze searched hers. “With your permission.”

She nodded, unable to squeeze a single word past the lump in her throat. She wanted to be kissed here in this beautiful place, capping a memory she knew would last a lifetime.

Slowly he lowered his mouth to hers. The heat was instantaneous. It spread through her from head to toe like a wildfire burning free.

“Oh, Matthew,” she murmured against his lips. She could feel his smile even as he deepened the kiss, made her remember just how intoxicating his effect on her was.

But all that heat was dangerous, she reminded herself. If she wasn’t careful, she could get burned. She could lose her heart, lose the future that had once mattered so much to her.

Those thoughts snapped her back to reality. She’d already lost that future. Hadn’t she been saying for weeks now that there was no going back, not to the bank, not under her father’s thumb? Was she as uncertain about that as Matthew had implied only moments earlier?

Matthew, however, was here, holding her ever so gently, claiming her with a passion she’d only dared to dream of. Had she been crazy to let this go?

Or was it crazy to believe it could last?

Since she had no answer, she gently extricated herself from his embrace, pretended not to see the confusion in his eyes.

“That was nice, but I still want tea,” she said, an unmistakable hitch in her voice.

Matthew looked as if he had plenty he wanted to say, but in the end, he only nodded. “Then tea it is.”

“And one of those fantastic scones with lots and lots of Devon cream.”

He laughed then. “Are you sure you’re not Irish?”

“Sorry, no,” she said. “Unless it’s very distantly.” She only aspired to be…by becoming an O’Brien. The thought startled her so badly, she nearly stumbled on the path and tumbled into the sea.