An Imperfect Circle (23 page)

“
Your form was awful on those, Elise,” Peter shakes his head and tuts.

Karl smirks at me and I narrow my eyes at him.

“You need more practice,” Peter continues and I see the humour in his eyes. “And you’ll get it if I catch you again.”

He turns and strolls back into the house and we follow at a slight
distance. Karl and I exchange a look as the light of the house illuminates his face and we both grin because we understood what Peter was saying.

If I’m not mistaken, he was encouraging the canoodling.

Canoodling.

Definitely on my list of favourite words.

And pastimes.

We pass Andrew and Peter in the kitchen and go down to the den to re-join the others.

“Elise!” Jamie cries out, she looks slightly worried so I bend down to her level to talk to her.

“
What’s up, sweetie?” I ask her fondly.

“
It’s bedtime,” she pouts.

“
Bedtime?” I raise my gaze and cock my head at Ian because I haven’t had a bedtime in a long, long time.

“
For Jamie and Jake,” Ian explains with a grin.

“
Okay?” I prompt because I still don’t get the relevance.

“
Ian said I could stay up for five more minutes because I wanted to say good night first but I couldn’t find you,” she mumbles, playing with her fingers.

“
Well, maybe me and Karl can take you to bed and say good night?” I prompt, grinning at her.

She beams and nods excitedly, looking up at Karl for his approval.

He pretends to sigh and think it over but it doesn’t matter. I’ve made the decision for us. Girlfriends get to do that, right? I chuckle inwardly. I have no idea what girlfriends do but this is Karl and he can like it or lump it. I want to take Jamie up to her room.

“
Come on then,” Karl grins, lifting Jamie up and passing her to me.

“
Ugh,” I grunt because my muscles are still sort of dead from the push-ups.

“
I’ll carry her,” he chuckles and I know he did it on purpose so I glare at him and make a mental note to make him suffer when I regain feeling in my limbs.

Ian carries Jake on his back and we take the two of them to separate bathrooms to clean up.

Jamie seems completely unperturbed about me being in the room as she gets changed and it’s sweet watching the way Karl is with her as he carefully tugs her top over her head.

Once she’s in her pyjamas, I kneel down so I can give her a good night hug. She’s very huggable.

“Night, Elise,” she whispers sleepily. “Thank you for the pizza.”

“
You’re welcome, sweetie. Sleep tight.”

Hones
tly, I only gave her one slice. Ian made sure she had enough after that.

Karl lifts his sister in
to bed and bends down to kiss her on the forehead. He whispers something in her ear and she nods with a smile before snuggling up with her stuffed elephant.

“
What did you say to her?” I prompt because I’m nosey and I figure that’s okay now that we’ve kissed.

“
I asked her if she’d like it if you came over a bit more often and she seemed to quite like the idea.”

I grin back and take the initiative to loop my fingers with his. I blame Becky. She’s made me into a hand-holder.

“
About time,” Ian laughs as we come into the room.

Everyone looks up at him and I think they assume he means we took too long putting Jamie to bed but I know
better.

Too
fudging observant.

I know he sees a change in Karl and me. I know he can tell something is different.

I released Karl’s hand as soon as we started on the stairs to the den because I know him. I know he likes to act a certain way in front of others. I know that any intimacy between us has always been private and we’d both like it to stay that way.

We don’t say anything; we just slouch down into the sofa next to Becky Blossom and Rob. She seems much more comfortable in his knee now and I have to say, his thighs don’t seem to be complaining in the least.

I know Karl will want to tell Matt about us and I will obviously want to tell Becky so we both keep quiet because neither of them has the right to know before the other.

Shelly is thankfully fairly quiet, mostly because she’s attached to Matt’s face. I kind of wish Peter would come down and punish their canoodling just so I wouldn’t have to watch it.

Long after Craig has gone to bed, we’re watching horror films and I yawn. It’s late and it’s been kind of a long day emotionally.

“
Tired, Elise?” Karl whispers in my ear. His hand is around me again but I no longer feel the desire to break his fingers. I might if he tries to remove his hand. I’m realising I’m quite attached to it.

“
Yeah,” I sigh. My plan was to stay up all night because I’m not good at sleeping somewhere that isn’t my sanctuary.

“
Come on,” he pulls me up from the sofa.

“
No. What are you doing?” I frown at him.

“
I thought you could sleep in my bed,” he cocks his head at me in confusion like he can’t understand why I’m resisting.

“
I’m not going to sleep,” I shake my head at him.

“
Elise,” he sighs. “Becky is having Ian’s room.”

Because her Dad insisted on it at a guess.

“There’s a lock on the door,” he adds in a whisper and I suddenly understand.

He knows why I wasn’t planning on sleeping. He’s been in my sanctuary and, since he seems to know me quite well, he knows I have trouble feeling safe when I sleep. He probably understand
s it more than most after witnessing first hand.

I just stare at him in response because, for such a big
, gruff guy, he is incredibly thoughtful and I feel a little guilty for not being so considerate with him. I’m not sure if that makes me a bad girlfriend.

“
Here’s the key,” he hands me an old-fashioned iron key once we get in his room. “That’s the only one so please don’t lose it.” The corner of his mouth pulls up slightly. “I’ve changed the sheets and stuff and nobody will disturb you.”

“
Thank you,” I mumble, still slightly shocked by his forethought. I’m also slightly grumpy that he’s changed the sheets because I wouldn’t have minded trying to sleep in wood stain and cinnamon scented bedding.

“
You’re welcome,” he grins.

It’s like we suddenly both realise we’re alone again and the air grows thick, emphasising the distance between us. I grab the soft cotton shirt and tug him closer because I’ve spent far too long without touching him and I need him closer.

You know, just in case he does something stupid and I need to hurt him.

“
You really don’t have any manners do you,” Karl smirks.

I raise an eyebrow at him but that’s all the answer he gets because I’m too busy staring at his lips and wondering if I imagined how good they felt against mine. How right.

“Kiss me again,” I demand.

He complies, placing his hands delicately on my waist but he complies in his own fashion. He wouldn’t be Karl if he didn’t.

He starts by gently pressing a kiss to the tip of my nose, his eyes still open as he does so. Then his warm lips flutter over my right cheek, powdering tiny kisses along the side of my face until he reaches my ear.

I have no idea what he’s doing but
, as he gently sucks my earlobe into his mouth, I don’t care any more. It’s kind of an odd thing to do and not something I’ve experienced before but oh my holy Earth mother does it feel good.

I swear it makes my toes tingle and I can’t explain it.

He doesn’t linger long, he continues kissing a path down to my jaw and then slides his hands from my waist round to my back and buries his face in the nook of my neck.

“
That wasn’t what I was after,” I grumble half-heartedly because it was quite nice and this cuddle is pretty comfortable as well.

He responds by kissing my neck and I tense and shove him off me. I scramble backwards and raise my hands slightly, ready to push him off.

It’s not a conscious decision and I hate myself for doing it but he can’t kiss me there.

“
Elise,” he winces guiltily.

“
You can’t do that,” I threaten him. I’m furious because I told him I couldn’t do intimate stuff.

I warned him.

“I can’t kiss your neck?” He takes a step back and cocks his head at me.

I kind of expect him to look annoyed or angry but he
just looks upset.

I shake my head firmly because I can’t talk and control my breathing at the same time.

“Okay,” he nods. “Sorry.”

“
I told you I can’t do that stuff,” I growl.

He frowns.
“I didn’t realise that included kissing your neck. I won’t do it again.”

“
You won’t get a chance,” I scowl, sitting down on the bed with a sigh.

“
I can kiss your lips though, right?” He asks, sitting down with me.

I
notice that he sits a good foot away and I appreciate it.

Lip kissing is fine so I nod and pick at my thumbnail. I hate that I just went from wanting him as close as possible to pushing him away and wanting to punch him in the face.

I told him no intimate stuff but maybe he doesn’t consider neck kissing that intimate. It might be unfair but I still feel slightly violated.

“
I like kissing these,” he reaches over and brushes my lips with a feather-light touch of his thumb.

I just sit silently because I’m still reeling slightly and I feel embarrassed, angry, and confused. After a while, I tell Karl this but he just grins at me.

“I think that’s called being a teenager. We’re entitled to a bit of that, free of charge.”

I roll my eyes at him but it makes it a lot easier that he’s not making this into a big deal. I shuffle closer to him as a sign of my appreciation.

He cautiously puts his arm around my shoulder and I let him because I appreciate that he’s cautious. When something like that happens, I tend to be a little bit like a trapped badger and I’d hate to have to bite him.

“
Elise, the intimate stuff… It doesn’t bother me, you need to know that.”

“
Karl, I-” I start but the cheeky beggar cuts me off.

“
Shut up,” he grins. “You always feel like you need to get the last word but you don’t need to say anything about this. I only kissed you because it felt right. I wasn’t going to take it any further.

If I never get anything more than kissing you then I’ll be happy because, I’m sure you’ve noticed, we’re very good at the kissing thing.
”

“
We are,” I smirk because it’s true. I know how bad kissing can be and this is definitely on a whole new scale of awesome.

“
It tingles,” he breathes, looking at me in earnest. “You feel it too, right?”

“
I always have,” I nod, surprised that he still feels it. I was convinced we were making it up as kids but it’s still there. We still spark off of each other.

“
Static,” he smirks.

“
Static,” I grin, relaxing slightly.

He stands up, unfolding his large frame from the bed
, and turns back to face me. “I need to go or I’ll end up sleeping in here.”

“
I know you don’t want that,” he adds when I glare at him. “But I want a good night kiss and I’m getting one or else.”

“
Oh really?” I raise an eyebrow at him.

“
Really,” he nods, holding his hands out to pull me up from the bed.

I let him pull me up to standing and before I even get chance to come out with a sarcastic reply
or threat of bodily harm, he plants another tender kiss on my lips.

It’s brief but the buzz is still there and I feel him sigh as he pulls away. His cinnamon breath warms my cheeks and I immediately want him to kiss me again.

“Good night, Elise,” he whispers almost sadly.

“
Good night, Karl,” I whisper back.

I’m sad too but I’m also confused. I don’t want him to go but I need to sleep and I can’t sleep with him in the room.

I settle for squeezing his hand as he pulls away and flopping back down onto his bed with a sigh.

Once I’ve locked the door, stripped my jeans off, and hopped into his bed, I breathe in deeply. Thankfully, his smell seems to have permeated the mattress and hangs in the air all around me.

It’s like he’s here without actually needing to be here so I smile to myself and snuggle deeper into Karl’s bed.

My boyfriend’s bed.

I’m fairly sure I’m already dreaming because that was something I never, ever thought would happen. I’d already made plans to die as a crazy cat lady. Only it wouldn’t be cats, it’d be hamsters because they’re far cuter and won’t eat me quite as quickly if I die.

The sun isn’t even up when I wake up. I wouldn’t say I slept as well as I do at home but I didn’t have nightmares or wake up with a cold sweat so I’d say it was a fairly successful night.

I can hear people moving downstairs so I figure that must be what woke me up. I pull my clothes back on and wander downstairs.

All of the Carters appear to be awake – far too awake if you ask me – and they’re bustling around doing things.

Craig is sweeping the kitchen floor and I can see the twins raking leaves in the back garden. It’s still dark out so they’ve had to turn the patio lights on.

I don’t know where the others are but they’re probably all doing their chores as well. Nobody could ever call these boys
spoilt; they earn their keep in the house and help their dad out. I guess that’s even more important now they don’t have Helen.

I swallow past the lump in my throat as I remember her. Honestly, I can’t even begin to imagine it. I had months to try and prepare for the loss when I thought mum was dying and I never really managed it. Their mum was snatched away without any warning.

How do you learn to go on without the woman who brought you into the world?

Karl wanders in from the lounge and puts the dusting cloth back in the cupboard before looking up at me, even though I know he saw me when he walked in.

“Morning,” he grins, brushing the back of my hand with his finger as he passes.

There’s still a jolt of energy at his touch but its presence is reassuring rather than disturbing.

“It’s still night time,” I yawn.

“
It’s after six, Elise,” he chuckles, grabbing a huge pack of eggs from the pantry.

“
Exactly,” I frown.

He just laughs and I slap his arm because it’s dark outside so he doesn’t get to laugh at me.

“Omelettes?” Ian’s voice makes me jump.

Craig
has disappeared to brush the bathroom floor so it’s just the three of us.

“
Yup,” Karl nods. I don’t understand why he never jumps when Ian appears out of nowhere. It doesn’t seem fair.

“
Ace,” Ian grins. “Extra onions.”

“
E, I know how you like your omelette,” Karl drawls.

“
I know but Elise needs to learn for when it’s her turn,” he winks at me.

“
I’m not cooking for you,” I scoff.

“
We’ll see,” he smirks.

No we fudging well won’t.

“So,” he starts, lifting himself up to sit on the edge of the kitchen island. “You two finally got together.”

It’s not a question so I don’t answer and neither does Karl. We both know he already knows.

“You going to stop trying to pull his nipples off now?” Ian looks at me questioningly.

“
Depends if he annoys me,” I shrug.

“
And what if you annoy me?” Karl frowns but there’s humour in his eyes and I know he knows I’m just messing with him.

“
I’m not annoying,” I shrug.