An Ex to Grind in Deadwood (Deadwood Humorous Mystery Book 5) Paperback – September 4, 2014 (31 page)

Doc chuckled. “You certainly discombobulated me from the moment you threw yourself at my feet.”

“Hey! No low blows before sunrise.”

“I meant that in a good way.”

“Yeah, right. And I didn’t throw myself at your feet. I fell.” Over his damned boxes of books.

“Like an angel from heaven.” The mirth in his voice came through the line clear as could be, along with his chuckles.

“More like a klutzy girl from next door.”

I smiled at the memory of our first meeting. I’d taken one look at those books and figured conversations with Doc would be boring as hell. Boy, had I been wrong there.

“No, not klutzy. Stunning and sexy. You knocked the wind out of me.”

“Now you’re kissing up so that I’ll bring my purple boots over to your bedroom again sometime soon.”

“It’s the truth, I swear.” His laughter warmed me inside and out. “You still spin me all around, Violet, but I’m not running anywhere.” His tone had a serious note in it that made me feel all sparkly inside. “I like feeling flummoxed when it comes to you.”

You say that now
, I thought,
but what about when you get tired of me and my …
I shook my head and jammed that worry into a closet way back in my brain, slamming the door and leaning against it for good measure.

I opted for humor rather than throwing myself at his feet and begging him never to leave me. “Good, because I’d hate to have to hunt you down and drag you back here if you decided to run off, but I will. I know where Aunt Zoe keeps the log chains and padlocks.”

“What? No rack or iron maiden for me?”

“No way. I like to stare at your body too much to mar it. It’d be a life of sexual slavery for you, Mr. Nyce.”

“I’m your huckleberry, but only if I get to pick your dominatrix outfits. I’ve put some serious thought into this many a long, lonely night.” His voice had a huskiness that made my nether regions pulse and tickle.

I grinned at the ceiling. “I don’t know if you can handle my whip. Are you sure you’re up to it?”

“Sure. Stop by my office this afternoon and I’ll give you a demonstration.”

There was nothing I’d like more except I had a feeling reality wasn’t going to allow that to happen. “That may be tough. I promised Addy and Layne I’d take them to the wiener dog races at the festival.” I yawned in silence, blinking away a sudden heaviness in my eyelids.

“You’re not going in to work?”

“Jerry rewarded my good behavior with the television people by granting me a Saturday off.” I was hoping to make it a foursome with Doc as part of our little family group, but he’d told me last night he had several client appointments throughout the day.

“What about your ex?” Doc asked. “Doesn’t he want to see more places today?”

“Nothing was mentioned about another appointment before Cooper led him away.”

“Exactly why did Cooper lead him away? You left that detail out yesterday.”

Oh, fudgesicles. I’d forgotten that Doc didn’t know that Cooper had already learned all about Rex a couple of months ago. I wasn’t sure how this information was going to go over for Doc, but I hoped it didn’t end up with him grinding his teeth at me for keeping secrets. Who knew Rex wasn’t going to just blow away in the breeze again and instead actually show up on my doorstep?

Or rather across the street from my doorstep, the asshole.

I took a big breath and let ‘er rip. “Actually, Cooper’s part in this started back when Harvey found the headless dead guy who was palming my business card. You remember when I told you about Cooper informing me that the dead guy had a message about Aunt Zoe and me on his cell phone? And then I threw up on Cooper’s tie?” I didn’t wait for a response from Doc. “It turned out the message came from Rex’s cell phone. After Cooper tracked it down, he asked me who Rex was. When I told him the bastard was the father of my children, I asked Cooper to keep that to himself, which he did.” Cooper might inspire a lot of cursing and stomping from me, but he was trustworthy. I’d appreciated that particular personality trait of his in this case. “Yesterday afternoon, when I called to tip Cooper about Rex being in town, he met us in the parking lot behind Calamity Jane’s and insisted the jerk go to the station to answer some questions. You and I both know how good Cooper is at strong-arming to get his way.”

Whew! There, I had spread everything out on the table. I chewed on my knuckles, waiting to see how Doc reacted.

“Is there anything else you haven’t told me regarding Rex intruding into your life since you moved to Deadwood?” I couldn’t read anything into his tone, which seemed as steady and level as always.

I hesitated, yawning again while pondering his question. I wanted to make sure I hadn’t forgotten something before I told him there was nothing else. Then I remembered an important tidbit. “Maybe.”

“What else, Violet?” There was an obvious growl in his voice.

Ah ha! There was the frustration I’d been wincing about while waiting for it to surface. I was glad to know he was human after all when it came to dealing with an ex. If the situation were reversed, I’d have been wheezing days ago from the jealousy ogre clamping down on my lungs.

“Just one more thing, I swear,” I told him.

“I’m all ears.”

“I recently found out that the owner of the black Jaguar sharing Miss Geary’s garage lately is Rex. He’s her young stallion.”

“Did he tell you that?”

“No. I saw their breakup yesterday morning before heading to work. Miss Geary has a wicked swing.”

A long bout of silence came from his end.

Had I lost the connection? “Doc?”

“Do you mean to tell me that son of a bitch has been spying on you and your kids from your neighbor’s front door?”

“Yes, and her bedroom window. But now that he’s done sowing his wild oats in her field,”
oh lordy, Jeff Wymonds was rubbing off on me,
“Rex needs a place to rent, so he came to me.”

“Ahh, fuck. This just keeps getting better.”

I grimaced at the static of irritation scratching his voice. Doc wasn’t one for much swearing, at least not in front of me. His lack of filter this morning said a lot.

“Doc, I’m sorry about all of this Rex crap.”

Why did Rex have to come back now, when I’d finally started getting my life together and had found someone who was ten times the man Rex ever was?

“Don’t apologize for that piece of shit, Violet. You’re not responsible for his actions.”

If I could wish Rex away with an eyelash, I’d pluck every one and go around with bald lids to make sure he stayed gone for good this time.

“So is this spying game of his the reason you slammed a cupboard door into his face?”

“Mostly.” We didn’t need to get into the details of Rex wanting to warm my sheets again.

Doc grunted.

I wasn’t sure what that meant in regards to my admission. I needed to get a caveman dictionary. I thought about asking him to define his grunt, but didn’t want to push him at the moment. My unwarranted anxiety about Doc washing his hands of me and my multitude of ever-growing problems kept me in check, as usual.

“Are you sure you didn’t break Rex’s nose?” Doc asked.

“Yeah.” I knew the difference thanks to my fun times with Cooper. “Rex would have howled a lot more if it was broken.”

“That’s too bad.”

I smiled, relaxing back into the soft bed now that my admission about Rex hadn’t resulted in more than some minor bumps. “I’ll try harder next time.”

“Use an oak cupboard door. That should do the trick. Or just taser him.”

My chuckle stretched into a yawn that I couldn’t quite stifle.

“Are you getting sleepy, Boots?”

“Uh-huh.” I shifted lower in the bed, letting my chin loll to the side. “You have a way of sedating me, like a really good drug.”

“This has nothing to do with good drugs, woman. I’ve got you under my spell. You’re doomed.”

I snuggled into my pillow, imagining his arm wrapped around me, pulling me back into his warmth. “I like it when you doom me. I’d like it even more if you could come over here right now and doom me some more.”

“How about I tell you exactly how I’d ruin you once and for all,” Doc said, “starting with those lovely, smooth legs of yours?”

Yawning again, I pulled the covers up to my chin. “I thought you told me once you weren’t a leg man.”

The sandman began to work his magic, making my eyes hard to keep open.

“Yeah, but we weren’t talking about
your
legs then, Boots. They’re in a class all their own, along with the rest of your soft, curvy parts. Now close your eyes, listen, and go to sleep.”

I did as he told me in that exact order. When I opened my eyes next, the sun was awake and waiting outside the window. My phone lay quiet and dark beside me. Doc must have hung up after I crashed.

I stood and stretched, trying to remember how far up my legs Doc had made it before I fell asleep. He was past my knee, wasn’t he? Had I dreamed him saying he wanted to lick ice cream off of my thighs? I must have because it was peanut butter fudge, my favorite, not his.

I took my time getting up and moving. I hadn’t had a day off in a while, so I wanted to savor this one. Detective Cooper’s text message saying he wanted to reschedule our meeting to a future date made me dance a little jig on the way to the bathroom.

The kids got tired of waiting for me while I showered, shaved, primped, and styled. The Oktoberfest Weiner Dog races in Deadwood were no Del Mar horse track event, but I wanted to be dressed to impress in case Doc was able to wrap up his appointments early and join us at the festivities. One never knew when a certain red-haired, evil ex-flame would suddenly appear and try to show up all the other fair maidens in town with her perky breasts, flat stomach, and voluptuous everything else.

Applying one last coat of mascara, I practiced my glare in the bathroom mirror. “Back off, bitch. He’s mine.”

“Who are you talking to?” Addy asked from the doorway, where she stood watching me with Elvis at her feet.

“Myself.”

“Aunt Susan says that only crazy people talk to themselves.”

My sister’s name set off alarms in my head. I whipped around. “You haven’t been talking to Susan, have you? You know how I feel about that.” As much as I’d have liked to handle my dislike for all things Susan with maturity and pretend everything was fine and dandy between us in front of my children, the instinct to shield them from the forces of evil won out.

“Aunt Susan told me that a long, long time ago. It might have been back in August when we were staying with Grandma and Grandpa for a few days.”

August was not exactly ancient history. Funny how time worked in a kid’s brain.

“I’m not crazy.” Although I wasn’t as positive as I sounded about my sanity after some of the peculiar stuff I’d witnessed since moving to Deadwood. “Some people talk to themselves because they need to vent.”

Addy’s chicken tipped her head to the side and clucked at me and then strutted away.

I took that as an insult. “Adelynn,” I pointed my tube of mascara at her, “you know that chicken is not supposed to be upstairs.”

“Ah, come on, Mom. Give Elvis a break. It’s National Chicken Week, you know.” She said it as if it were one of the eight major U.S. holidays.

“There is no such thing as National Chicken Week. You think I was born yesterday?” Maybe I should look that up online later to make sure of that. I tossed the tube of mascara into my makeup bag. “Let’s go eat breakfast. Aunt Zoe and Layne are waiting.”

I followed her downstairs, walking while she bounced and chattered about selling wiener dog sweat suits at next year’s Oktoberfest.

“Yesterday, Kelly signed her dad up for the wife carrying contest when he wasn’t looking,” Addy informed me as we joined Aunt Zoe and Layne at the kitchen table where a cup of coffee waited for me, along with eggs, bacon, and toast.

“You’re too good to me.” I kissed Aunt Zoe on the forehead and dropped into my chair, reaching for the coffee.

“It’s part of the deal we made when you were eight—I take care of you when you’re young and you take care of me when I’m old.”

The coffee was sweetened just right. “The deal still stands.” I held out my finger for a pinky swear.

“Mom, will you do me a big favor?” Addy asked when we’d returned to eating and drinking.

“Sure.” I took a sip of coffee.

“Will you be Kelly’s dad’s wife and help him win the trophy for us?”

The gulp of coffee I’d been swallowing went down all wrong and then burned its way back up and out through my nose. I grabbed the napkin Aunt Zoe held out and swiped at the drips coming out my nostrils, nailing Addy with a watery-eyed squint. “I am not going to be Jeff’s anything, Adelynn Renee.”

“It’s only for pretend. Sheesh, Mom, lighten up.”

“I’ll lighten up when you quit trying to marry me off to that man.” I sneezed out a couple more coffee drips into the napkin, and then picked up my fork and dug into my eggs. “He has a new girlfriend, anyway. She can be his contest wife.”

“Mr. Wymonds has a girlfriend?” Layne asked, his eyes shining with obvious glee.

I felt the same way about Jeff taking his “plow” elsewhere and smiled back at him. “Yep. He told me about her last night.”

“And you’re not sad, right?” Layne asked.

“Not at all.”

“Good.”

“No, it’s not good, Layne.” Addy pinched her brother’s arm, which resulted in a return shove. “Just because she’s not going to marry Kelly’s dad doesn’t mean she won’t get married to someone else someday, you know.”

Layne sneered at Addy. “Doc said he isn’t going to marry her, remember?”

Doc said what now?

I lowered my fork, my frown careening into Aunt Zoe’s matching one. Why would Doc say that? Had he even given me a chance?

Then I realized that my kids must have harassed him about marrying me and my humiliation from his rejection flared even higher thanks to a sharp slap of mortification. My cheeks burned clear to my ears. I glanced downward while I picked up both halves of my heart and shoved them back into the hole in my chest cavity.

Placing my fork on the table next to my spoon, I wiped my mouth with my napkin. “What did you two say to Doc yesterday?”