An Elderberry Fall (9 page)

“I am not giving away everything, just some things. There's a lady with a little boy down the block.”

“You need to keep them for yourself,” he demanded.

“All right, Simon, I heard you,” I answered.

“We can start tonight,” he said.

“I'm not sure a baby is what we need,” I answered.

“Why not a baby?” he asked, pulling me close to him. Just the sensation of his breath against the side of my face had me vulnerable. I could have undressed at that moment for him. I didn't, though. Instead, I attempted to explain.

“It's just that you are gone most of the time. I don't want to do it alone again. It is hard enough for Robert and me. We miss you, and since we don't have any kinfolk around us, it is a little lonely. I second-guess myself most of the time because I don't know anything about raising a child.”

“Carrie, this is a good neighborhood. Everybody looks out for each other. You will be safe and I know the Halls would be happy to help you, if necessary. Every child wants a sister or brother.”

The Halls had already opened their hearts up to Robert and me. They were like godparents to him; at least that is what I prayed they would be. Aside from the occasional visits from Momma, they are
all the family he has. They love him so much; they reach for him whenever I go somewhere. Mrs. Hall's blue eyes light up and Mr. Hall seems content with Robert in their possession. He's always bouncing him on his knee like Robert is riding a horse. Mrs. Hall said they always wanted children of their own, but she could never carry a baby to term. Their love for Robert is majestic and pure. I left him with them when I enrolled in school and I planned on leaving him with them for four days a week while I was studying in Petersburg.

“Simon, can we talk about a baby at another time?”

“Having children is natural. Most people don't plan children; they just come. But if you insist, we can talk later. Seems to me now is as good a time as any to add to our family.”

After Robert was fast asleep, Simon pulled me into the bedroom. I quickly excused myself to the bathroom, searched in the back of the cabinet for my sponge, and inserted it for birth control.

When I returned, as Simon lay me down on my back, I was confident I wouldn't get pregnant. I had taken the precautions any ambitious woman should take to pursue her own goals. So, when Simon kissed me on the forehead and then deep on the lips, I succumbed. His tongue went deep in my mouth, sampling my fluids. With each kiss, I lost control. I parted my thighs and coaxed his hard manhood into my sweetness. My syrup was flowing like honey from a bee hive. His sting was so inviting, I threw my head back and released myself to him. Simon thrust and thrust on me like a machine. I loved every moment, especially because I had my little secret weapon—the sponge.

Simon whispered, “I miss you, girl.”

I murmured back, “I miss you, too.”

I gripped his back and pulled him close to me. Simon loved it.

“I love you, girl,” he whispered.

While Simon slept, I went into the bathroom, removed the sponge, and put it back in my special place.

The fall was rapidly moving in. The mornings were damp and chilly. The trees barren, the leaves blanketing the ground like a tapestry bed quilt. Simon took advantage of the cool weather, and tossed the thick quilt on the foot of the bed. He woke up early the next morning. He started out by gathering the hens' eggs and cleaning out the feathers and dirt in the chicken coop. He threw sawdust on the floor and patched up places where the winter wind chill could seep through and disturb the chickens. Afterward, he helped me hang out the clothes on the line in the backyard. For a while, I felt like he was going to stay. But, I knew better.

That afternoon, when I heard her knuckles tapping on the door, I cringed. Nadine knew how to rattle my nerves. She knocked for a few minutes before Simon opened the door.

“Come in,” he said.

Nadine came in smiling.

“I thought I'd pay you two a visit.”

“Please sit down,” Simon said.

She came in the parlor and sat directly across from Simon in the high-back chair.

I watched the way she sashayed into the house, and how she purposely sat directly in front of my husband. What was more sickening than her being there was how she sat with her thighs parted and pulled her dress up above her knees when she crossed her legs. Nadine was a deliberate woman. One who could rouse up even the mildest of temperaments. My nerves were so frayed that I wanted to jump out of my chair and choke her until she recognized I was sick of her.

“Nadine, I saw your husband the other day.”

Her eyes shifted. “Where did you see him?” I could tell I had
made her nervous when she began to play with her hands, rubbing them as if she had experienced a chill.

“In the neighborhood.”

“Wonder why he was around here. I thought he was on the train somewhere.”

“This is where he lives.”

“How often does he come home?” Simon asked.

“Well, we are sort of separated.”

“Sorry to hear about your marriage.”

“He didn't know how to handle a woman like me,” she said, peering at Simon in a seductive way.

“He seems to be a nice man,” I said.

“He couldn't take care of me. I need me a big strong man like Simon.”

“How are your children handling all of this?” Simon asked, ignoring what she had implied.

“They didn't like him anyway. He wasn't their daddy.”

Simon was not looking in the direction of Nadine. He was staring at me, as if there was something I should have been doing. Finally, I said it. “Nadine, we were about to go out.”

“I just wanted to say hello to Simon. I miss you every time you come home. I told your wife to tell you hello the last time you came home.”

Simon narrowed his eyes, and glanced over at me.

I didn't say a word, but I watched Nadine give my husband a peep at her private area when she uncrossed her legs to leave.

I walked her to the door.

“Next time, Nadine, stay at home.”

“What?”

“You heard me!”

S
imon stayed for a full week. He seemed a little different about his stay. He was not as anxious to leave and get back on the road. While he was home, there was good news about the newly formed Colored League had open dialogue with Rube Foster and others to form the Eastern Colored Baseball League. The league would have protection from the invasion of the larger white teams. The formation of organized teams with paid memberships had opened doors to more games and involvement from teams like the Kansas City Monarchs and Baltimore Black Barons. Simon loved the news, and felt warm about the opportunity to join a team permanently.

All week, I'd watch Nadine sitting on the porch in the cool weather waiting for my husband to come outside. And when she'd see him, she would yell, “Hey, Simon, it is going to be a good day today.”

He'd wave and continue with what he was doing.

It was the middle of the week, and the fall wind had been strong, so brisk it chilled your cheeks. The last of the leaves were floating to the ground, and most of the trees were barren. Nadine had been sitting on her porch all morning with a winter coat and hat on waiting for Simon to come out of the apartment. She had a
weird obsession with him. When Simon started to the corner store, she came off the porch, ran to catch up with him, and walked with him to the store.

I watched them go out of sight to the store. It wasn't long before Nadine and Simon appeared between the two pine trees and Simon came into the house.

Before he could unpack the brown paper bag, I wanted to know what had happened.

“Why did Nadine follow you up the street?”

“I don't know, Carrie. She seems to need a lot of attention.”

“Has she forgotten that you are married?”

He stopped unpacking the milk and sugar he'd gone for and looked at me.

“I don't want that woman. She is out of her mind.”

“Why didn't you say something to her? Why did you let her tag along? She went with you to the store, Simon.”

“She seems to do a lot of things she shouldn't. She must be lonely. She wants her husband.”

“Simon, did she tell you that? Or are you thinking for her?”

“No, she didn't say anything about her husband. She bought some milk.”

“What she is doing is wrong.”

“I agree with you. I can't tell a grown woman how to act. I just know she is not my type.”

“Did she say something to you?”

“She was saying a lot of stuff. I really wasn't listening to that woman. I was not interested,” he said, shaking his head.

“I will never trust her. She wants you, and you are my husband.”

“It takes two people for something to happen. I am not interested in Nadine. She is a woman across the street. Let's not waste our
time together worrying about her. We have got too many other things to talk about.”

“I want to know what she said.”

“It is not important. You are my wife.”

“Now you see why she could never be my friend. She's a slut.”

“Carrie, we are going out tonight. Let me do something special for you.”

A smile rolled across my face.

“Where are we going?”

“We are going to see Mrs. Pearl Brown.”

Pearl was a superstar wherever she traveled; at least she acted like one. People at home in Jefferson said she was a big put-on—full of herself. It amazed me how little people from the country really knew. I couldn't wait to go back to the club. Watching the patrons come in and out was as much excitement for me as listening to Pearl's sultry and seductive voice turn on the men. I envisioned Pearl entertaining on many levels, especially after seeing her with a white man. The businesses and community folk all gathered there just like we did in Jefferson at the church. The city had more than one place to fellowship and I liked the idea of places where I wouldn't be judged.

The evening didn't roll in fast enough. I couldn't wait to dress up, and put a little lipstick on my lips. Simon seemed to enjoy places like the club. I wondered if, while he was on the road, he went to places like that often. My guess is, he did.

“I can't wait to see Ms. Pearl singing again.”

“I noticed how much you enjoyed it the last time we were there.”

“She has a beautiful voice, and everyone seems to love her.” I paused. “You know, I saw Ms. Pearl coming out of the Jefferson Hotel with a white man.”

“Carrie, you don't understand how the world is. People are always watching and judging you. Pearl should be careful. Her reputation is what she'll have left when her singing voice is raspy and her career is on the downfall.”

“Is it the same way you feel about baseball?”

“In a way, I suppose. Most people are not concerned about an athlete's personal life. They just want him to perform physically when he is on the field.”

“Does it mean you can do wrong, and not be held accountable for it?”

“No, but sports players are a little different.”

“Shouldn't we all watch our behavior, especially in public?”

“Yeah, we should.

“Are you about ready? I am driving tonight.”

“I am. I want to see if everything looks good. I can't wait to see Mrs. Walker again too.”

He chuckled.

“I can't believe my country little wife is so excited about the city. I am so glad you are leaving the Jefferson ways behind.”

“You used to like my ways.”

“I still do. I'm country too. I am happy you are not judging the people at the club. People from our hometown might not like me taking you to a nightclub.”

“I don't care what they like,” Carrie commented.

“Me either. Hurry up so we can take Robert downstairs to Mrs. Hall.”

“I hope I am not leaning on her too much.”

“She loves little Robert, and her husband loves him being with them.”

“Who would have thought a white woman would take to a colored child?” Carrie said.

“She's different. She is family like any colored person. She has given up a lot to be married to a colored man. She is comfortable in this community. They are the best neighbors anybody could have.”

“She's like my best friend.”

“Isn't she too old for that?”

“No, she is a friend. Are you still trying to get me to talk to Nadine?”

“Not anymore.”

“Nadine is not a friend, Simon. She is the opposite. Even Momma told me to watch her.”

“Well, then you should,” he said, shaking his head. “You ready?”

I stood in front of the chifferobe mirror, meticulously twisting my hair with my fingers, turning my curls under into a bob.

“Come on; let's go,” Simon anxiously said, grinning.

I picked up Robert and headed for the door. Simon grabbed his bottle and followed close behind me.