An Affair To Remember: A Ludlow Hall Christmas (10 page)

"There is no us."

Every year, Elena cooked Christmas dinner, with all the trimmings, for her family and a couple of close friends who'd otherwise spend the day alone.

The preparations started on Christmas Eve in an attempt to ensure the day itself went off without a hitch. She didn't see the hard work as a chore. And under normal circumstances, she loved the whole festive vibe. But this year all she wanted to do was curl up in a dark room, throw the comforter over her head and forget about it.

She was standing at the kitchen sink scrubbing a mountain of potatoes, the mindless task was actually therapeutic. Her dad was sitting at the kitchen table peeling carrots, while four of her six brothers were
helping
by drinking beer and goofing around. The two brothers missing were overseas, training foreign fighters to defend their land.

Last night she'd slept like a log.

Which had come as a pleasant surprise, since her body was aching for Marc. Who knew heartache actually ached? It hurt. She could even press the spot between her ribs where it hurt. Nico had phoned the house, twice, to speak to her, but she refused to take his calls. Eventually, her father had told him to leave his daughter in peace, that she'd been through enough. Even the Chief Inspector of police, Andy Bradshaw, had called in Liam and Adam and explained he'd only been doing his duty. Her brothers appreciated it, agreed with him and understood. But they were standing by their sister. Elena had been shaken up pretty badly. She needed time to assimilate everything that had happened to her. That's what family did, they stuck together through everything. They had each other's backs. The trouble was nobody at Ludlow Hall had her back that day. Not even the man who was supposed to love her, and Elena would never forget it, or forgive it.

She was suffering, a little voice told her, with a bad case of the Kennedy stubbornness gene. Actually, Elena responded. It was more like Karma. People get back what they put out there, so Nico and Marc and Andy could just suck it up.

Earlier in the day, she'd gone out for a long walk with Czar, like the good dog he was, loping along off the leash at her heel. And during that walk she'd taken time-out for herself, from the Christmas chaos of the family home, to just... think.

Her affair with Marc had burned incredibly hot, maybe too hot. And fast, maybe too fast. They'd made promises to each other without really knowing the other. Without really thinking things through. So when they hit a bump in the road (more like an earthquake) they had nowhere soft to land.

But the part that really left a bitter taste in her mouth, was the part where he'd come up with a plan to set her up without warning. How could he do such a thing, stand there, let them tear her to pieces for hours and say nothing? She just couldn't get her head around it. But then she remembered that the room had been bugged. She sniffed, it was all so confusing.

A strong arm was slung around her shoulder.

"Elena, you've scrubbed that potato for ten minutes," Joe said.

She turned to look up into his tired face, even tired her favourite brother was handsome.

Joe had the unenviable task of being a resident doctor in Accident and Emergency. Just like his brothers in the army and the police, he manned the front line in a hospital system that was strapped for cash. And Joe was exhausted.

"How much sleep did you get last night?"

"Four hours. Luxury."

"Why don't you take a nap?"

"Nah. I'm used to it. If I go to bed now I'll be prowling the house at four a.m. and driving everybody nuts. Why don't we go out for a walk into town? I'll even spring for a drink at the pub. It might make both of us feel better."

Sounded like a plan.

Elena didn't tell him she'd already walked miles this morning, she valued any time she had with Joe. He was the second eldest, the voice of reason and a good listener.

Ten minutes later, Joe and Elena were wrapped up in layers under duck-down puffa jackets with ski hats pulled down low and yards of woollen scarves wound around their neck. Czar was playing hide and seek in the snow drifts at the side of the road as they strolled down the lane.

"So, what's this I hear about you and Marc Atelier? Sounds complicated. Is it serious?"

"I thought it was serious," Elena said. She added a heavy sigh and tucked her arm in his. "We just clicked, you know? I thought, at last, I've found the one for me."

Her big brother stopped to look into her eyes.

"Do you love him?"

Did she?

"We had the most amazing weekend together. And for most of this week, and even at work, it was good, you know? We ate, cooked together, slept together. It was right."

"Do you love him?"

When she didn't respond Joe's brows rose.

She couldn't lie to him.

So she shouldn't lie to herself.

"Yes, I love him. I can't stop." Now Elena spun around to kick a snow drift. Czar pounced on the clump of snow like a cat on a mouse. "He's made me so mad, Joe. I just want to punch him. He hurt me and I don't know if I can get past it."

Joe pulled her into him, slung his arm around her shoulders and they continued to walk into the town, heading for an ancient tavern that had been serving travellers for four hundred years called The Bull's Head.

"You need a drink."

Joe shoved open the pub door, whistled for Czar who came to heel. Elena clipped on his leash and found a table in the corner while Joe went to the bar to order drinks. She pulled off her hat, her gloves and her scarf and unzipped her coat. There was a fire roaring in the grate and the place was crammed with revellers. Elvis was crooning something about a blue Christmas without you. The lyrics seemed to make the ache in her heart more intense.

Joe pushed back through the crowd doing a juggling act with a glass of white wine and a pint of beer. He nodded to neighbours and acquaintances, and returned insults in the spirit to which they'd been given to his pals. He placed the glass of white wine in front of Elena and took a sip of his pint. He straddled a stool and tugged off his hat and scarf, handed them to Elena who had space in her little nook to stash their stuff. Czar flopped to the floor under the table, eyes closed, ears on alert for incoming like radar.

"Cheers," Joe said and they clinked glasses. Her brother's dark eyes searched her face. "I think you should consider looking at what happened from Marc's point of view. Haven't you been reading what's been printed in the press about the Ferranti's?"

Elena shook her head.

"I lead a very busy life. I don't have time to read trashy gossip."

"Yeah, well, maybe you should make time. After all you work at Ludlow Hall and Nico's your boss. Knowledge is power. Some of the stuff was nasty. Rumours about affairs and rumours that the marriage was in trouble."

"That's utter nonsense," Elena said.

"Yeah, well, not everyone believes it's lies. The couple have been having a really hard time. Even to me, it appears as if someone's got it in for Nico. There was stuff in the financial press, too, about something in Italy. For a few months it looked as if he was in big trouble. But then that petered out, too. Marc works for Nico as a security expert. I'm betting Marc keeps a close eye on nefarious stuff and nips things in the bud all the time. I bet that's why he was based in Italy, too."

"You make him sound like James Bond."

Joe grinned. He was a big fan of the film franchise.

"Apart from you and me, kiddo, we're a family of police and military men. Liam and Adam like Marc, a lot. They recognise one of their own. And they did a little digging. The guy's a hero. He had a very hard start in life and rose above it."

When Elena frowned into wine, Joe studied her face carefully.

"He didn't tell you about his past?"

She shook her head.

"Only that he was adopted and the people who took him took his half-sister, too, when she was a baby. He loves his adopted mother very much. And you're right, he is close to Nico."

"Think about it. He's ex-military, ex-police. What you felt was a hot grilling, a grilling that made you crap your panties, he'd regard as no big deal. And from what I could tell he thought you were a star. He's really proud of you, babe. But then you're a Kennedy. I'd expect nothing less."

"He set me up for his own ends."

"He did it to stop the leak." He waited a couple of beats. "You like Bronte?"

"Of course I like Bronte."

"Thanks to you, Bronte's going to stop being hurt by a vicious tabloid bitch. Bronte loves Nico. Nico loves Bronte. Nico hurts, Bronte hurts."

Elena took time to mull his words over in her mind.

By this time they'd finished their drinks.

They started to pile on their jackets and hats and scarves and gloves.

As they pushed through the crowd with Czar, Elena knew she had a great deal to think about.

Joe stamped his feet as fresh snow started to fall.

"All I'm saying is that maybe you should give the guy a chance. It's the season of goodwill. Think about it."

He slung his arm around her and she wound her arm around his waist.

"Love sucks," she muttered.

"Tell me about it. Loving someone isn't always a personal choice. Count yourself lucky you've fallen for one of the good guys. Nothing worse than being in love with the wrong person. Now that is hell."

Elena looked up into his face, but Joe was looking straight ahead, his mouth firm.

Her brother looked... sad.

She was dying to ask him what was wrong.

But Joe was a very private person, a deep thinker, and she knew better than to open old hurts, old wounds best left alone.

She pulled him tight into her side as they trudged up the hill to their home, both deep in thought.

Elena was still deep in thought as she prepared stuffing for the turkey.

The ring of the doorbell had everyone look at each other in the kitchen.

No one moved until Liam muttered something intelligible and moved down the hallway to open the door.

"Hey, gorgeous. What can I do for you?"

"Can I speak to Elena?"

"Sure, come on in."

Bronte Ferranti stepped into the kitchen. Her coat was taken as she was hugged and kissed by a long line of men, including Elena's father.

By the time they'd finished, her face was flushed and her green eyes were sparkling with suppressed laughter.

"Sorry to interrupt, I know it's a busy time for everyone." Her eyes found Elena's. The laughter slid away. Bronte bit her lip. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Well, the Ferranti's had really brought out the big guns if Bronte was standing in her father's kitchen.

"Come on through to the sitting room. Would you like a drink?"

Elena led the way.

Nico's blonde wife shook her head.

"No, thank you. I've left Nico home alone with the kids. Trust me, it's a recipe for disaster, especially the night before Christmas. The twins are bouncing off the walls."

The girls moved through the hall and into the sitting room with its battered old couch and mismatched chairs. The space was filled with the detritus of family life. Newspapers, magazines, dirty mugs and plates and tennis shoes.

Elena's face burned.

She was going to kill her brothers.

They lived like pigs.

"Sorry about the mess. I only clean in here about five times a day."

"Please, don't worry about it. You have a lovely home. I've always thought so. Look, first of all I just want to say that the men in our lives were completely out of order to put you in the middle of this big mess."

Elena blinked.

But before she could speak, Bronte carried on.

"It's so
typical
of Nico to just power over people and their feelings. He's so overprotective of me and the kids. You'd think I was a shrinking violet or something. He's going to apologise to you, Elena. All I'm asking is that you hear him out. He's devastated that he's hurt you. He's even more upset that he's lost you from The Hall. But it's his own fault."

"Well, they did find those emails on my PC. He had to question me. I understand that and I accept it. It was just the way it was done, Bronte. I've never been so scared in my life. And Marc wouldn't even look at me..."

"Stupid. They're stupid, Elena. Marc's looking as if he's lost his best friend. His mother's arrived, and his sister, and they're worried sick about him. As if the poor things haven't been through enough with losing John so suddenly. Marc's moved into Heron's Rest so they can all be together. And he's planning that they stay for a while, to give his mother a chance to find her feet again. Poor woman. They were married for over forty years you know. So it's been very hard on everyone."

Elena felt awful, just awful, that Marc's mother was suffering such heartbreak.

Bronte turned big emerald eyes on her and took her hands in hers and held on tight.