An Affair Most Wicked (15 page)

He was so beautiful. God, how she loved being here with him and feeling this way. How could she dream of marrying and doing this with another man?

She closed her eyes, too, and rested her forehead against his. Their pace quickened until his grip on her hips grew tighter, firmer, then he let out a groan and pushed her back so she was sitting above his testicles.

He covered himself with the handkerchief. Clara watched his face, felt his hips thrust forward, and knew he was climaxing like she had earlier. It made her smile.

“Did you see heaven?” she asked, a moment later when he relaxed and tossed the balled up handkerchief to the floor.

“God, yes.”

“What did it look like?”

“You.” He pulled her close and kissed her. She sat forward to throw her arms around his neck and hold him close, to feel the bare skin of his chest against her loose chemise.

“Careful,” he said, slipping a hand down to cover himself. “Don’t get too close. A virgin can still defy the odds and find herself in the family way.”

Thankful for his experience and knowledge in these matters, she nodded and slid off him. He pulled his trousers back on and buttoned them. “Better safe than sorry.”

Clara leaned back against the side wall of the coach. “I can’t believe what we did, Seger.”

His eyes softened. “Promise me you won’t feel guilty in the morning. You did nothing but give yourself pleasure, and me as well.”

She sighed. “I’m not sure how I’ll feel. This was all very new.”

They sat in silence for a moment.

“Very new and very marvelous.” He slid closer to kiss her, then he kissed down the side of her neck. “I apologize for not paying more attention. Did you have another one while you were on top of me?”

“Another orgasm?” She tossed her head back and reveled in the sweet gooseflesh tingling up her side. “No, but it still felt good.”

He continued to kiss her neck and chest. “Would you like another one now? There’s time before you go.”

He was unbelievable. “You’re not tired?” she asked.

He shook his head. “Me? Never.”

Then before she had a chance to argue, he smiled and disappeared under her skirts again.

Chapter 10

Clara woke to the sound of a knock at her door. She grumbled, rolled over onto her back in her huge bed, and opened her eyes.

The curtains were drawn and the room dim, but the sun was shining outside. What time was it? She squinted at the clock. Almost noon.

The knock rapped again.

“I’m still sleeping!” she called out, rolling to her side and curling up with a wicked little smile, gathering the covers into a ball and hugging them.

“Are you all right, Clara? You’re not ill, are you?”

It was Sophia. Clara sat up.
No, I’m not ill. I’m quite the opposite
. “Come in.”

Her sister peered inside. “You missed breakfast and you’re about to miss lunch, too, if you don’t get your lazy bones out of bed.”

Clara smiled and waved Sophia in. “I need to talk to you.”

“Good Lord, Clara.” Sophia closed the door behind her, moved all the way into the room and touched Clara’s forehead with the back of her hand. “You look awful. Your eyes are bloodshot. Didn’t you get any sleep last night?”

“Not really.” Clara couldn’t keep from smirking.

“What’s going on? You know a secret.” She sat down.

Clara arranged the pillows behind her and leaned back. “I do, but if I tell you, you have to promise that you won’t be angry, nor will you breathe a word to anyone. Not even James.”

“You know I don’t like keeping secrets from James.”

Clara hated asking her sister to lie, but she couldn’t let anyone else find out what she had done.

More importantly, she supposed that she didn’t want her brother-in-law—who had always been so understanding and supportive of her despite her past mistakes—to think badly of her. She couldn’t imagine anything worse than disappointing someone she respected so very much.

“I don’t want James to know because he has always seemed to trust me and believe in my judgment. I don’t want to fall short of his generous regard. Besides, there would be havoc if he knew.”

“Havoc? Tell me, Clara.”

Clara stared at her sister for a moment, hoping she wouldn’t be too shocked by what she was about to hear. “I… I did something a little wild last night. Well, something
very
wild.”

Sophia covered her face with a hand. “Oh, no.”

“Don’t worry, no one knows. I was careful.”

“What did you do?”

“I snuck out to meet Lord Rawdon.”

Sophia’s cheeks went pale. “When? How?”

“I sent him a note last night saying that I wished to see him, and he replied by telling me that his carriage would be out front at two A.M. I knew I had to take advantage of the opportunity, since time was an issue regarding the duke’s proposal, so I was very quiet and went out a servant’s door, and indeed the marquess was there waiting for me just as he said he would be. We didn’t go anywhere. We just sat in his carriage out front and talked.”

“You talked,” she said skeptically. “That’s all?”

“Well, no, but I’ll explain the rest in a minute. The point is that I’ve made up my mind about the Duke of Guysborough. I don’t want to marry him.”

Sophia continued to stare at Clara in shock.

Clara elaborated. “After I talked to the marquess, I realized that we were right about him, Sophia. There is hope. His unconventional behavior makes perfect sense.”

“Why?”

“First of all, he was an exemplary child and model student, very well behaved with excellent academic performance. It was only later in life that he began to live recklessly, and there is an explanation for it. You see, he fell in love with someone but was forbidden to marry her because she was considered beneath him.”

“I’m still waiting for the reason why you think there is hope.”

Clara continued. “The young woman was sent away by Lord Rawdon’s father, but she died when her ship went down in the Atlantic. Yes, it’s tragic, I know. It was after that that the marquess retreated from society because he blamed its severe, restrictive rules for his heartache. The point is, he loved once before, Sophia, deeply and faithfully. He wanted to marry the girl, and the loss of her cut him so deeply, he has not yet gotten over it.”

“And you think this makes him more attainable?”

“Yes. If a man is capable of loving a woman once with intimacy and devotion, he is capable of it again. He needs to be rescued. I can help him, I’m sure of it. It’s in his nature to love.”

Sophia stood up and paced the room. “This is dangerous, Clara. A woman should never believe she can change a man. When you marry, you must marry the man for who and what he is, not what you hope he will become.”

“You rescued James.”

“But I didn’t know that’s what I was doing when I agreed to marry him. I believed he was perfect as he was. It was only later that I realized there was more beneath the surface than I knew. You, on the other hand, know that the marquess is not the kind of man you ever intended to marry. You should not forget that.”

Clara tossed the covers aside and stood up. She went to her dressing table to sit down and begin combing her hair. “There is an attraction between us. We could have talked all night long.”

“He’s a very skilled lover, Clara. That’s what he does. He seduces women, makes them feel desirable.”

Clara bristled at the words. “No, there was something special between us.”

“I’m sure all women feel that way after a night in his arms. He’s a very handsome and charming man. Tell me you did not do anything foolish. You didn’t give yourself to him, did you?”

Clara turned to face Sophia, and saw the anxiety in her eyes. “You needn’t be concerned. I am still a virgin.”

Sophia let out a deep breath and collapsed into a chair. She rested a hand on her chest.

“Which is another reason why I believe he is honorable beneath the less than respectable notoriety,” Clara said. “He’s had three opportunities to take advantage of me, and all three times he has resisted his base impulses and done everything in his power to protect my virtue. I trusted him completely last night, Sophia. There was not a single fear in my mind that he would ravish me against my will or do anything to harm me. The fact that he could act with honor in that way leads me to believe that if he makes any kind of vow or promise, he will be faithful to that vow.”

“You think he could be a faithful husband?”

“Yes, I do.”

“We’re talking about a lifetime, Clara, not one night with a virgin. Maybe he didn’t ravish you because he knew that if he did, he’d have to marry you, and the idea of commitment and fidelity outweighed his temporary, base impulses.”

Clara pulled the brush roughly through her hair. “There was nothing temporary about what happened last night.”

“But you are not experienced with this sort of thing! Some men can make love to a woman and forget her the very next instant! Their dalliances are merely conquests. What did happen, exactly?”

Clara shook her head. “I wanted to tell you before, but now I don’t. You’ll only disapprove.”

Sophia approached Clara and rested her hands on her shoulders. “I only worry that you’re going to get hurt. That you’re romanticizing what happened.”

“You were supportive before. You were encouraging me to find out all I could about him. Why have you changed your mind?”

“I haven’t changed my mind, I just feel that you must tread carefully where the marquess is concerned. Guard your heart as well as your virtue until you can be sure he is worthy of you. Be vigilant and act with caution. That’s all I’m saying.”

Clara knew deep down that her sister was right. Clara’s head was in the clouds this morning.

How could it not be? She had glimpsed heaven the night before.

“All right,” she said, gazing up at her sister. “I will promise to be careful. But I must refuse the duke.”

Sophia nodded. “Mrs. Gunther won’t be happy. You probably shouldn’t tell her beforehand. She’ll spend the whole day trying to change your mind.”

“Good point. I’ll tell her after the fact, then she’ll have no choice but to accept it.” Clara sighed heavily. “Well, now that we’ve got all that out of the way, do you want to hear what happened in the carriage
after
we talked?”

Sophia smiled and sat down next to Clara. “Of course. And spare nothing. I want every delicious detail.”

Later that day, the Duke of Guysborough was announced. He entered the drawing room.

With a barely discernible smile, Mrs. Gunther mentioned that she had to go and speak to her maid about something, and left Clara alone with him.

“You’ve had a chance to consider my proposal?” he asked, looking down at her where she sat on the sofa. He appeared confident. She supposed it was natural, considering his status. Clara was not looking forward to rejecting him.

“I have, Your Grace, and I am indeed flattered.”

He smiled and sat down next to her.

A cold knot tightened in Clara’s belly. She hated this. “You are a wonderful man, Your Grace, and I am honored by your offer, but…” She paused for a few seconds. “I’m afraid I must reject it.”

The duke’s head tipped back in surprise. “I beg your pardon?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Is there a reason? There must be a reason.”

“I do apologize. This is most difficult. I… I am simply not in love with you.”

His eyebrows drew together. “Not in love with me?” He sat in tense silence for another few seconds, then rolled his shoulders as if he were struggling to keep his anger in check. “Perhaps I should have taken more time for a courtship. I’ve heard that you American women have certain expectations in that regard.”

Clara tried to let him down easily. “Your proposal did come rather quickly, yes.”

“Because I was certain that if I did not act quickly, someone else would. The competition for you is intense, my dear. You are the talk of the town, so to speak.”

Clara was no fool. She knew she was renowned because she was an heiress and it was a well-known fact that her father would furnish her husband-to-be with an inconceivably huge marriage settlement. Her own sister, Sophia, had made James one of the richest men in England; her dowry, if one included the railroad stock, had been the largest in English history.