An Accidental Man (61 page)

Garth was wearing a dark suit of silkily light tweed. His hair was shorter and sleeker. Gracie was in peacock blue Thai silk. They were a handsome pair. Garth looked proudly at his bright little wife. ‘Moggie, you look lovely.'

‘New dress.'

‘That's right. I want everything you wear to be new. I want to feel that I invented you the day before yesterday.'

‘You did.'

‘And you don't mind?'

‘Are you sure
you
don't? I might be your Frankenstein.'

‘I saw happiness passing and grabbed it.'

‘And you don't feel that you ought to be having a destiny of deprivation and struggle?'

‘No.'

‘And you don't mind our being rich?'

‘No.'

‘And you think being happy is a proper occupation for a lifetime?'

‘Yes.'

The bell rang. It was their first guests.

‘I conveyed Ma and Austin in Kierkegaard,' said Patrick. ‘Hello, love birds.'

‘Gracie, darling girl,' said Austin, kissing her.

‘Dearest Austin —'

‘Mavis is coming later.'

‘Darlings, you've got the new curtains up,' said Clara.

‘What a manly little fellow your brother is!' said Garth.

‘Don't tease him!'

‘I think you are three very handsome men,' said Clara.

‘We are all handsome,' said Austin. ‘We are beautiful. We are a very good-looking family.'

Patrick, blond, fluffy-haired, plump, smooth, rosy-complexioned and six foot tall, punched his brother-in-law amicably.

Clara was now wearing her hair straight and rather short. She looked radiantly juvenile. So did Austin, his copious golden locks flowing down on to his collar. He never wore glasses now. His contact lenses were a great success.

The door bell began to ring again and the hired butler went to attend to it. Outside in the kitchen Mary Monkley kicked off her shoes and sipped a tiny sherry. Norman was so kind to her these days, like a nice child. But she missed the bad old Norman whom she would now never see again. Funny, wasn't it. And if she had been still alive Rosalind would have been eight today.

‘Gracie, such a pretty room.'

‘Garth, what super reviews of your book.'

‘What a lovely idea with the cushions.'

‘Wasn't that Kierkegaard parked outside?'

‘Gracie, what a pretty dress.'

‘I was saying to Gracie, what a lovely idea with the cushions.'

‘Oliver has sold Kierkegaard to Patrick.'

‘There's one born every minute.'

‘Clara dear, my spies tell me you will soon be Lady Tisbourne.'

‘Ralph, how nice to see you. Patrick is in the kitchen doing the ice.'

‘Karen and Sebastian have brought a Spaniard back from their honeymoon.'

‘Not
ménage à trois
?'

‘No, no, he's a cook or something.'

‘Gracie has got a treasure.'

‘Isn't she the mother of that child who —'

‘Sssh. Hello, Austin. You're looking a picture. Where's Mavis?'

‘She's coping with the decorators.'

‘Garth, what marvellous reviews of your book.'

‘Here come Mr and Mrs Pargeter.'

‘Ann, how delicious you look.'

‘I say, have you seen the reviews of Garth's book?'

‘Sure to be a best-seller.'

‘Mollie Arbuthnot is crazy about Karen's Spaniard.'

‘Geoffrey is furious.'

‘Oliver Sayce is buying a bookshop in Oxford.'

‘Charlotte Ledgard is living with a weight-lifter.'

‘I can't quite see Char reposing on a hairy bosom.'

‘My dear, it's a female weight-lifter.'

‘What a charming idea with the cushions.'

‘Isn't it a charming idea.'

‘Patrick is going to read history at Balliol.'

‘George and Geoffrey are discussing the crisis.'

‘Isn't Austin gorgeous.'

‘He nestles in the bosom of the Tisbourne family.'

‘He always was a friendly little viper.'

‘Gracie adores him.'

‘Mavis is furious.'

‘Oliver and Andrew have borrowed Richard's yacht.'

‘Richard is charging them the earth.'

‘Isn't Ann looking happy.'

‘How long for though.'

‘Andrew is spending his sabbatical term studying Oliver.'

‘Matthew is making another million in New York.'

‘Mollie Arbuthnot has paella for breakfast every day.'

‘Ralph is going to read history at Balliol.'

‘There's Dr Seldon.'

‘He looks as if he's got something.'

‘Doctors are so infectious.'

‘People ought not to invite doctors.'

‘I hear that chap's in prison.'

‘What chap?'

‘That American chap.'

‘What was his name? Lucas Leferrier or something.'

‘Where is he in prison?'

‘In America.'

‘Oh, in America.'

‘Wasn't he the chap that used to dangle after Gracie?'

‘Sssh. Hello, Gracie, what a lovely party.'

‘What lovely reviews of Garth's book.'

‘There isn't any ice.'

‘Patrick and Ralph are still out in the kitchen.'

‘Do you think Austin is wearing a wig?'

‘I wouldn't blame anyone for wearing a wig these days.'

‘What's he in prison for?'

‘Drugs or something.'

‘I do hope they don't take drugs at Balliol.'

‘Matthew has gone into a monastery in Kyoto.'

‘Where's that?'

‘Mollie Arbuthnot is learning the guitar.'

‘Charlotte has gone native near Midhurst with a female acrobat.'

‘Clara will soon be Lady Tisbourne.'

‘Mollie will soon be Lady Arbuthnot.'

‘Aren't we all getting grand.'

‘Anyway, we're still socialists.'

‘That fat man must be a gate-crasher.'

‘No, his name's MacMurraghue, he's Gracie's pet.'

‘Richard is buying a house in Eaton Square with an indoor swimming pool.'

‘Matthew is staying with the parents of that chap.'

‘What chap?'

‘That American chap.'

‘Hello, Karen darling.'

‘Hello, Gracie darling.'

‘Hello, Sebastian darling.'

‘Look at Gracie and Karen locked in each other's arms.'

‘Patrick has visited Charlotte, he says it's a hoot.'

‘Won't somebody go and talk to Mr Enstone?'

‘I don't think people should invite clergymen.'

‘Matthew is opening a Protest Bookshop in New York.'

‘How ghastly.'

‘My dear, he's coining money.'

‘Oliver has gone into partnership with Matthew.'

‘There's big money in Protest.'

‘Look at Gracie and Sebastian locked in each other's arms.'

‘Garth is a cool customer.'

‘Garth is a great man.'

‘Like father like son.'

‘Mavis and Austin are turning Valmorana into a hotel.'

‘Mavis will do all the work.'

‘Austin will chat with the guests in the bar.'

‘Austin is a caution.'

‘One can't help admiring him.'

‘Austin is like all of us only more so.'

‘He gets away with it.'

‘We'd all like to.'

‘Everybody is justified somehow.'

‘Mollie Arbuthnot is discussing Spanish tummy with Dr Seldon.'

‘Patrick has visited Charlotte, he said it's awfully touching.'

‘Matthew has gone to Hollywood.'

‘Where's that?'

‘Have you seen the super reviews of Garth's book?'

‘Garth is going to write best-sellers under the name of Norman Monkley.'

‘Where's Mavis?'

‘She isn't coming.'

‘She looks just like Dorina these days.'

‘She's got that pale haunted look.'

‘Austin would give anybody a pale haunted look.'

‘George and Geoffrey are still discussing the crisis.'

‘Patrick and Ralph are still out in the kitchen.'

‘MacMurraghue is sloshed.'

‘Penny Sayce has cancer.'

‘My dear, she can't have, it's impossible.'

‘Gracie's expecting.'

‘So is Karen.'

‘So is Ann.'

‘Hester and Clara are matchmaking for their grandchildren.'

‘Everything is moving into a new phase.'

‘MacMurraghue has passed out in the hall.'

‘There's still no ice.'

‘It doesn't matter, everyone's too drunk to notice.'

‘What did you say?'

‘Don't you feel that everything is moving into a new phase?'

‘Gracie, it's so lovely to partake in your happiness.'

‘I say, look at Austin.'

‘What do you mean?'

‘Look at his right hand.'

‘He's holding his glass.'

‘He can move his fingers.'

‘I was telling Gracie it was so lovely to partake in her happiness.'

‘Yes, lovely.'

‘A privilege.'

‘I say, look at the time, we must be off.'

‘So must we.'

‘So must we.'

‘Such a lovely party.'

‘Such a marvellous evening.'

‘Such super reviews.'

‘Our revels now are ended.'

‘Goodnight, darling.'

‘Goodnight, darling.'

‘Goodnight.'

‘Goodnight.'

‘Goodnight.'