Amy's Advantage (8 page)

Slowly, he righted her and removed his hand out from under
her sweatshirt. “Amy…”

Immediately her grin disappeared. “I know that tone.”
Deflated, she dropped her hands to her sides. “I was too forward, wasn’t I? I
came on too strong. I shouldn’t just say what I think. I mean, my god, I put
you on the spot about kissing me and then told you to do it again. You even
told me to tell you no. If that wasn’t a blazing hint written across the sky in
big red letters, I don’t know what would be.”

As the Three Goddesses were his witnesses, the woman was
adorable when she got flustered and couldn’t stop herself from rambling. He
wanted more than anything to settle her fears and stop her constant stream of
nervous words with a kiss, but that would be a colossal mistake and he’d made
enough with her already. The feel of her body still branding his fingertips, he
curled his hands into fists to keep from reaching for her again.

“Amy, it’s not what you did—”

“Great,” she interrupted. “The old, it’s-not-you-it’s-me
line. Now I feel
so
much better.”

He took a deep breath. Amy had been so honest with him, she
deserved honesty in return. “It is you,” he said flatly.

Chapter Six

Amy’s head popped up, her eyes round with surprise. “What?
Did you just say it
is
me? Holy crap! You are so bad at letting a girl
down easy. The least you could do is take the blame. Even the
it’s-not-you-it’s-me line is less harsh than a straight-out ‘you just don’t do
it for me’.”

Jordyn frowned as he tried to follow her logic but she
seemed to be operating without that particular hindrance. It should have
annoyed him, but he found it oddly appealing. And confusing. “That’s not what I
was trying to say.”

Closing her eyes, she dropped her chin on to her chest and
let out a deep sigh. “God. I’m always so dramatic. It’s really no big deal and
now I’m really embarrassed about making a big deal out of it.”

Before he could explain further, her head popped up again
and, again, she poked him in the chest. Hard. “You touched my breast!”

To keep her from drilling her finger straight through his
sternum, he wrapped her hand in his—again. “Listen,” he ordered. When she fixed
a mutinous glare on him and opened her mouth to argue, he squeezed her hand and
said, “Please.”

Amy snapped her mouth shut, but her glare stayed fixed.

“You asked if I wanted to kiss you. Yes, very much. I still
do. But I shouldn’t have. Absolutely. Should. Not. Have.” He took a breath and
looked away, straining for the detachment he needed.

“You’re an Ilyrian Mystic, Amy. The last daughter of the
only full-blooded Mystic line we’ve been able to locate in decades. According
to our traditions, a woman with your heritage must choose a mate from among the
Royal heirs so that the powers held in your blood are returned to the princes
born to rule the last generation of the curse. I am not of that line, but am
sworn to protect it. The fact that I want you doesn’t change that.” As he
spoke, each word hammered through his brain, bringing him back to the reality
of his mission and giving him the impetus to step back and release her.

“But I’ve
been
mated,” she said. “And I have a child
to prove it, so all that obviously doesn’t apply to me.”

He shook his head. “We don’t know that. Your mate is no
longer living and Siriyn is still without one.”

“So I’m to be automatically handed off to a man I’ve never
met and provide him with sons? And that’s it? The only way I’m allowed to take
my daughter to my family and to safety in Ilyria is to become a broodmare?”

Jordyn let go of her hand and crossed his arms over his
chest. Her anger was understandable and even expected up to a point. But there
was much more at stake here than personal feelings and choices. “Without each
heir finding his mate and producing an heir of his own, the prophecy can not be
fulfilled nor the curse lifted. Your children will be part of the generation
chosen by the gods to fulfill the prophecy. If they are successful, Ilyria will
be returned to its former peace and glory. If they fail, the royal line will be
annihilated and our world will fall to our enemies.”

He softened his stance and his tone when he saw panic begin
to edge out the anger in Amy’s eyes. “It’s not just about you. Or me. There are
thousands of lives in the balance here.”

“So it’s all up to me? If I don’t fuck and multiply, an
entire world goes to hell? That’s a pretty messed-up deal.” Though her voice
remained fairly low, her words were tight and strained.

“It’s much more complex than that,” he said, pitching his
own voice lower, trying to add in some sense of comfort and reassurance. “And
you cannot be forced to complete the Mating Rite with anyone, even a royal
heir. It must be done willingly to be accepted by the gods.”

Amy cradled her arms against her stomach, her elbows in her
palms as she looked back at Chloe, her entire body vibrating under a fine
tension. Without a doubt he knew that if she didn’t have Chloe to consider,
she’d have been gone a long time ago. The urge to comfort her was almost
overwhelming. He wanted nothing more right now than to pull her into his arms
and hold her until she stopped trembling, until the fear had left her eyes and
she knew, absolutely understood, that Chloe and she were safe.

He dragged in a slow, stabilizing breath. That would be just
another mistake in a long line of ones he’d made during this part of their
mission. If he touched her now, he wouldn’t be helping either one of them. He
took another step back and picked up his coat from where it was hanging over
the back of a chair.

“I’m going to do a quick check outside before I turn in.
It’s late and you should try to get some sleep. Tomorrow, Cirryc will be back
and if everything is as expected at the farm, we’ll arrive there sometime after
lunch.” He slid his arms into the sleeves of his coat and fastened up the
front, trying to ignore the deep green pools of raw emotion and stark
vulnerability watching him leave.

He stopped, his hand on the doorknob. “Amdyn and Siriyn will
be able to address all of your concerns.” Deliberately, he pulled the door
open. He paused as a wintery rush of air brushed past him. “I never wished to
cause you any distress. It was not my place to discuss the expectations of your
status. Or to kiss you.”

“I asked you to.”

He shook his head. “It was not your fault. The blame is
mine. I’m s—”

Amy’s chin came up and her eyes glowed with a bold anger
against his words as she cut him off. “Don’t you dare say you’re sorry for
kissing me or I swear I will have to hurt you. If you regret kissing me, keep
it to yourself.”

A bright knot of hard rebellion burrowed deep into his
chest. With a futile blaze of sudden spark, it burned against the bedrock of
duty that enclosed his soul. He could think of nothing to say that wouldn’t
make this situation worse so with a grim tightening of his lips, he turned
toward the door.

“For the record,” she said, calling out loud enough to
momentarily stop him, “I don’t regret kissing you.”

For a self-indulgent moment, he turned and let his eyes take
in her beautiful defiance. Just before the pain of wanting her became more than
he could resist, he looked over at where Chloe slept and nodded. “Regardless,
my job is to protect and serve the Royals and to get you and your daughter home
safely. I will do that.”

Amy didn’t move or respond to his words. He stepped through
the open door and into the night. “Amy?” he asked, not turning around.

“Yes?” Though the word was barely audible, the hollow sound
had the strength to rip through his heart.

He stared out into the night, knowing what he wanted to say.
Knowing what, instead, he needed to say. “Give Siriyn a chance. He’s a good
man.”

Closing the door, he checked that it had automatically
locked behind him before beginning the security sweep. He pulled his collar up
around his ears against the blast of icy wind that met him head on. Steadily he
moved into the darkness, each step away from the woman in the room behind him
costing a piece of his soul he’d thought had been lost a very long time ago.

* * * * *

Chloe squealed when Cirryc called through the door, “Anybody
awake in there?” Mr. Pink, whom Chloe had been sharing her breakfast with, went
flying as she made a beeline toward the door.

Before Amy could call her back, Jordyn had caught her around
the waist, spun her around to her laughing delight and plopped her in Amy’s
lap. She landed with another squeal and immediately went into wiggle mode,
trying to get up. Amy held her tightly until Jordyn had let Cirryc into the
room and relocked the door.

Once freed, Chloe squirmed off her mother’s lap and shot
around to the other side of the bed to retrieve her discarded bunny. With Mr.
Pink in a headlock, Chloe slid up behind Jordyn’s legs to peer at Cirryc,
popping her thumb in her mouth.

Taking off his gloves and unzipping his ski jacket, Cirryc
winked at Chloe and asked, “Did you miss me?”

Chloe wrapped an arm around Jordyn’s leg and grinned up at
him around her thumb. She shook her head “no”.

“What?” Cirryc went down on one knee and looked at her with
a comical frown. “Has someone else stolen your heart?”

Chloe giggled and hugged Jordyn’s leg tighter. With a
breath-stopping grin, Cirryc said, “Well, I guess I’ll just have to try harder.
Isn’t that right, Mr. Pink?” he asked, patting the rabbit’s head. “So,” he
said, looking back at Chloe, “are you ready to get out of this room?”

When Chloe nodded, he said, “It’s cold out there, so you
better put a coat on.” He tilted his head toward her feet. “And some shoes. You
can’t play in the snow without them.”

Amy helped Chloe put on her boots and coat as Jordyn and
Cirryc conferred about the final leg of their journey. She’d already gathered
their clothes and the random games and toys spread around the room earlier.
She’d even made the bed she and Chloe had slept in, looking for something to do
to keep from simply sitting in the awkward absence of conversation between her
and the only other adult in the room.

If Jordyn had slept in the other bed at some point in the
night, he’d done it without disturbing the bedding. She’d been asleep when he’d
returned last night and it had been a quiet morning. Apparently, neither one
felt like talking much and only the most necessary of words had been exchanged.

Soon, they were all piled in the Hummer and on their way.
Jordyn had chosen to drive, Cirryc was humming along with a song on the radio
and Chloe was happily watching Bugs Bunny run circles around Elmer Fudd.

“Don’t be nervous,” Cirryc said.

Amy turned from gazing out the truck’s side window. “Hmmm?”

“You look nervous,” Cirryc said, stopping his tapping on the
center console to point at her hands. Absently, she’d been twisting her gloves
around and around in her lap.

“I am. A little.” She shoved the gloves in her pockets and
maneuvered out of her coat around her seatbelt. “Is Ellen still there?”

Cirryc grunted. “She’s not going anywhere soon.”

“She’s not? Why?”

“No idea. But if you figure it out, Amdyn would like to
know.”

“Maybe when the rest of us are all there and safe, she’ll
feel okay about returning.”

“You’re definitely going home without any argument?” he
asked.

“Why would I argue?”

“All your sisters have.”

“Do you do everything
your
brothers do?”

“Good point.”

“Besides, I have Chloe and they were all single. Whether or
not I want to go is irrelevant when it comes to her safety. You guys can provide
a level of protection in Ilyria far above what I can do by myself here.”

“Do you ever wish you didn’t have—”

“No.” She shook her head. “Not for one second.”

Dubiously, Cirryc raised his eyebrows at her. “It would make
your life simpler.”

“Simpler doesn’t mean better,” she said with some heat.

“True,” he said, drawing out the word. “Didn’t mean to upset
you.”

“It’s just a touchy subject for me, especially with the
attacks happening.”

The headphones on Chloe’s ears slipped forward and she
pushed them back so they sat more comfortably on her head. “I’d finally started
to really get us settled down and stable, a new thing for me. Aurora was
arranging her schedule to spend more time with us and Chloe was making friends
at her preschool. I’m enrolled part-time in a community college for next
semester—so much for that deposit.” She let out a breath. “I was even thinking
about dating again.”

Cirryc’s eyes sparked with interest. “Anyone in particular?”

Amy grimaced. The whole idea of dating seemed preposterous
to her now. “No. I’d really only just started considering it as an option. It
was new world—so to speak—with a child in the mix. I know it makes me sound
like a prude but after Chloe was born, casual sex and one-night hookups were
off the menu for me. Plus, it took me awhile to get over the death of Chloe’s
dad.”

Cirryc, who’d had a growing expression of horror as she’d
explained the lack of sexual activity in her life, twisted in his seat so he
could face her. “What happened to him?”

Jordyn scowled, but his comment was waylaid when Cirryc held
up a hand to stop it. “If you feel comfortable talking about it, I mean,”
Cirryc said. The sincere compassion in his eyes might have made her fall madly
in love with him at the moment if she went for young Nordic god beach boy
types. Which until just recently, she’d have sworn she did.

She smiled. “Your tact is improving.”

He gave her a crooked grin. “I’m a work in progress.”

With a soft laugh, she said, “We all are.”

Tucking a section of curls behind her ear, she gave herself
a moment to think through her answer to Cirryc’s question as she adjusted her
seatbelt. The recently restrained curl popped forward again. She pulled it back
with more force and this time it stayed put.

“Andrew was killed in Afghanistan. An IED. Everyone in his
truck died.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.”

Cirryc paused and looked at Chloe, who was giggling at the
cartoon. “Did he ever get to meet Chloe?”

A rush of sorrow welled up and she was suddenly blinking
back pricking tears. “No. He never knew I was pregnant.”

“You didn’t tell him?” Cirryc’s immediate contempt for what
he assumed had been her reasons erased all trace of tact or concern from his
expression. The icy shards of accusation in his glacier-blue eyes sliced
through her and she sucked in a jagged breath, shaken by his sudden attack and
unsure whether she wanted to explain or punch him square in the nose.

“Enough.” Jordyn’s voice was low, but harsh, authority with
the force of expected compliance behind it.

His command had an instantaneous effect on the younger man.
Although the set of Cirryc’s jaw didn’t relax, his expression cleared of all
emotion and he looked away from Amy to stare out the windshield.