Amorous (The Lincoln Series Book 1) (17 page)

He had realized that until Marie, he hadn’t understood the difference between pure physical attraction and passion. With each relationship he had always thought he cared for the woman, until it ended. Then he had felt more relief than disappointment. But with Marie his feelings were so intense he actually feared it might end. Somehow he had to prevent that from happening.

They had become close but he could still sense a hint of insecurity about her, almost like she was holding her breath waiting for the hurt to come.

“Wow! This is serious. You always tell me everything.”

“Maybe I’ve just decided to grow up and stop kissing and telling.”

“I see. And how long will it be before Jared and Allison have a cousin to play with?”

“Jesus, Liz! It’s only been two months. We’re not ready for that.”

Sudden panic hit him as the thought of being responsible for another human being resurfaced. Since the first time he and Marie had made love and he saw the tear in the condom, he had been trying to convince himself she couldn’t possibly be pregnant, because the thought of being a father was too terrifying to contemplate. He wasn’t ready to be responsible for a life totally dependant on him.

“Yeah, that’s what Ted said too, until he saw Jared. Then he said he couldn’t believe he had waited so long.”

****

Marie walked into the office feeling light as air. Despite Janet’s apprehension she knew in her heart Warren would be happy. It just couldn’t be any other way. It had to be the start of something great. Somehow this was part of the wonderful life she had been waiting for. It hadn’t gone according to her well-ordered plan, but she was headed for the same happy ending.

She put her purse in her desk and heard a muffled voice coming from Warren’s office. He must have come back from the hospital already. She thought he would be there all day, and AJ had gone to a conference that morning, so she hadn’t expected to see either of them in the office until tomorrow.

His door was open so she headed in that direction. Maybe she wouldn’t wait until tonight. She could hardly contain herself as it was. Tracy was already gone so they wouldn’t be interrupted. She stepped across the threshold and lifted her hand to knock on the door.

“Well that’s great for Ted but not for me. The last thing I need is a kid screwing things up. We’re just having fun right now. What the hell would I do with a baby?”

Marie froze.

Her blood ran cold and she tried to inhale but her lungs felt paralyzed. She tried again and her body convulsed when the air refused to move through her throat.

Warren didn’t want the baby.

His voice echoed in her head…
‘We’re just having fun.’

And he didn’t want her either.

Time stood still. Her hand slowly dropped to her side. She wanted to run but her legs wouldn’t move. She swallowed hard and her throat opened with a loud gasp. The world tilted and she grabbed the door jamb to steady herself. Her heart was beating so loudly it was the only sound she could hear.

She looked at her desk and wondered if her legs would carry her that far before they gave out.

Warren turned toward his door and leaned back in his chair as his sister continued.

“You big sissy, you’re just scared.”
Liz teased.
“But you can take as much time as you need.”

He looked up and halted at the sight of Marie in his doorway. She was looking at something in the waiting room, but her stance was unnerving. She was clinging to the doorframe and she was shaking so much he thought for a minute she was having a seizure.

“Hey sis, I gotta go.” He dropped the phone on his desk.

“Marie?” He walked to her. “Baby, are you okay?”

She flinched when he touched her.

“Marie, what’s wrong?”

He reached for her hand and she recoiled.

“Don’t touch me,” she whispered.

She looked up at him and tears filled her eyes. The pain on her face was devastating.

“Why? Baby, what’s wrong? Are you in pain?”

She closed her eyes and the tears cascaded down her cheeks.

“Marie, honey…” The ache in his chest made it hard to breathe. Seeing her like this was killing him. He reached up to brush the tears from her cheek. When his fingertips touched her skin her eyes snapped open and she swatted his hand away.

“Don’t touch me!”

“What?” He looked at her eyes and saw anger, hurt, and…contempt? “What the hell is going on Marie?”

“I’m leaving.”

She turned away and he grabbed her arm. She struggled to break free and he grabbed both her wrists and brought them to his chest.

“Talk to me, Marie. Tell me what’s going on.”

“Let go of me.”

She tried again to break his hold but something told him if he let go she’d never come back.

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong. Please, Marie, let me take your pain away.”

“What do you care? This isn’t your problem.”

“Like hell it isn’t.” He tried hard not to shake her. Why wouldn’t she talk to him? “Obviously you’re angry with me about something. Don’t you think I have a right to know what’s going on?”

“I think we should take some time off. I’m going away for a while and I’m leaving tonight.”

Her words hit him like a freight train. He let go of her wrists when she pulled away.

“Why are you lying to me?”

Pain and anger warred for supremacy. What the hell was happening?

She wiped her own tears and straightened her spine. “I need some time to think.”

“Time to think about what, a better lie?”

“Stop acting like you care. I may have been naïve up to this point but I finally figured out what’s going on.”

“Well, that makes one of us. Now, why don’t you clue me in on what you think you figured out?”

“Just stop it! I’m tired of the lies. I’m not going to play this game anymore.”

“What game? I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, Marie. You’re not making any sense.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Look. If you need to get away, let me go with you. We need to talk about this.”
‘And maybe get you some medication.’

“No. I want to do this alone. I need to do this alone.”

“Why?”

She was rejecting him. When she wanted to move he was afraid she was looking for a way to escape him, but she hadn’t been looking lately and she had seemed happy. He needed to know what changed. He had to make things right.

“Damn it Warren! Get the hell out of my way!”

The glare she shot him nearly knocked him over. He had never seen her so angry. He stepped back to let her pass.

“Marie, if I’ve done something wrong I’m sorry. Tell me what happened. Tell me what I need to do to fix this.” He was struggling to breathe normally. “Please…don’t do this.”

She dropped her gaze to the floor and whispered, “I have to go.”

He swallowed the pain and forced his lungs to breathe normally. “When will you be back?”

Marie turned to him as another tear ran down her cheek. She opened her mouth to speak but said nothing.

“Why are you leaving me, Marie?”

His body trembled with anger and pain. Something was terribly wrong and he had no clue what had happened but, damn it, he had a right to know.

“Don’t do this to us, Marie. We can work it out. Whatever it is we can…”

He watched helplessly as she grabbed her coat and purse and walked out the door. Without a word he had gotten the message. She wasn’t coming back. His whole world had disintegrated in less than five minutes. When she was out of sight the pain in his chest exploded and he was sure he had died.

It was all Marie could do to hold herself together on the bus ride home, but she managed it. She stared blindly out the window as she replayed Warren’s words in her mind.

‘The last thing I need is a kid screwing things up. We’re just having fun…What the hell would I do with a baby?’

He didn’t want their baby. He probably didn’t want her either. She was just a play thing that now came with a complication.

How was she supposed to face him knowing she had meant so little to him? It hadn’t been a one night stand, but it wasn’t anything more than a temporary affair. She was sure he knew how she felt and the humiliation was too much for her to bear.

She closed her eyes against the pain. She couldn’t believe what a mess she had made of her life in just two months. She had worked so hard to get her job with Dr. Carrington. But now her future seemed so out of control, her neatly planned life free falling in space. She couldn’t even see where she was going to land.

‘Do not let him lead you down a road you might regret.’

Dr. Carrington had warned her to stay away from Warren, but she didn’t listen. She was going to lose her job. There was no way to hide her affair with Warren now. And without the reference from Dr. Carrington and a baby on the way, she wouldn’t get much better than a minimum wage position.

She had a lot to plan. She had written her resignation in her head and just needed to type it up. She would have a currier deliver it first thing in the morning.

She stood facing the door to her apartment. She didn’t even remember getting off the bus, but at least she was home. She stepped across the threshold and a memory flashed in her mind.

She was on her knees. Warren was coming in her mouth and she was holding him tight against her. He had tried to pull away but she held tight to his thighs and swallowed his seed.

Marie thought they’d made a deep connection that day. But he said it required ultimate trust and he never said he trusted her. In fact, he had tried to stop her from doing it.

She treasured that memory as a testament to the love they hadn’t yet confessed. But now the memory sickened her, she was nothing more than his whore.

She screamed, “You bastard!”

A sudden knock set her heart racing and she turned to face the door. It had to be Warren, no one else would know she was here, and he was the last person she wanted to see.

He knocked again. “I know you’re in there, Marie. Open the door.”

Her stomach soured. It was Jake.

“You don’t need to talk, just listen,” he said.

“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say, Jake. Go away.”

Great! What was she supposed to do now? When she ran from Warren she never expected to get trapped in her own apartment, least of all by Jake.

She turned around to face the interior of her living room and leaned back against the door. The action pushed a heavy sigh from her lungs. She suddenly felt exhausted. Maybe if she ignored him long enough he’d go away.

“So what did superman do to make you cry?”

She placed her hand on her belly affectionately.

“Didn’t he give you what you wanted, Marie? Or maybe you couldn’t tell him what you wanted. You couldn’t tell me.”

“You didn’t care what I wanted you prick! You just wanted a piece of ass.”

“Is that what you think? I’m not the one who was playing with your pussy in the middle of a crowded bar.”

‘No one can see under the table and even if they could I wouldn’t care.’

“If you had told me what you wanted I could have given it to you,” he said.

Marie spun toward the door and gripped the handle. She hesitated then said, “You’re incapable of giving anyone what they want.”

“And what’s that, Marie?”

She squeezed the door knob until her knuckles turned white.

“Did you want me to whisper words of love to you? Is that what he did to convince you to spread those pretty legs of yours?”

Marie yanked the door open. “You—”

Jake pushed her back and closed the door behind him. “That’s better.”

“Get out!”

“Did he tell you he loves you?”

Marie stood her ground but said nothing.

“Did he tell you he couldn’t live without you? That you were the love of his life? Or did he tell you how much he loves your tits and your bare pussy?”

‘They’re perfect…more perfect than I had imagined…I love your bare pussy. It’s so silky and soft.’

“Get out!”

“Your pussy’s still bare isn’t it?”

Marie swung her hand toward his face and he caught her wrist inches from his cheek.

“Nice try, sweetheart, but you’ve got to be quicker than that.”

She yanked her arm from his grip. Her body vibrated with hate.

“I don’t want you here,” she said.

“Look, Marie. I’m not saying this to hurt you. I’m trying to help you see this whole thing from another perspective.” He stepped closer to her until their bodies almost touched. “I’m trying to help you sort out the truth from the fiction.”

Anger rushed through her veins as a single tear escaped and rolled down her cheek. How dare Jake make her cry! How dare he speak to her!

“I’ve never lied to you, Marie.”

Her mind raced, scanning the conversations they’d had. There had to be a lie in there somewhere.

“I told you he was only fucking you to get to me. Did you find out I was right?”

‘He was hitting on you, Marie. He wants you and he won’t take no for an answer…but, if I can make him think you’re with me…That’s not enough. I need him to know he’ll never have you because you belong to me.’

“Did things get a little too serious for him?”

‘The last thing I need is a kid screwing things up.’

She swallowed hard. Even Janet tried to tell her to be careful.

‘Marie, honey, slow down. I know you think he’s going to think this is the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to him but you have to at least be prepared if he doesn’t.’

Marie collapsed against the back of her couch. Janet knew and didn’t tell her. Janet knew he was just screwing around, that he wasn’t serious about her and instead Janet tried to convince her to stick it out, to wait for him to confess his love. Why would Janet do that to her?

Janet and Warren have been friends since they were young, of course she would be more loyal to him. Janet wouldn’t want to betray him.

Another tear escaped her eye and she brutally wiped it away with the back of her hand. “I want you to go. I don’t want to do this anymore. Get out or I’ll call the police.”

Jake took a step back. “It doesn’t make me feel good to be right, you know.”

Marie huffed out a laugh.

“Honestly. But it would make me feel good to help you out of this. What can I do to make you feel better?”

She stood up and shoved him toward the door. “Get out, you pig!”

He held up his hands and smiled. “Easy, honey. You’ve already made it quite clear whose bed you prefer. I’m just offering you a way out.”

Marie could feel her strength draining by the second. All she wanted to do was cry herself to sleep. “Please, Jake. I just need to be alone right now. I need to think.”

“If you hang around here he’ll be over soon. He won’t want you to hate him. His ego couldn’t survive if someone didn’t like the fun loving Dr. Jackson. He’s going to try to fuck with your head and make you think this is all for the best. Isn’t that what shrinks do?” He paused. “Is that what you want, Marie? To let him off the hook?”

“Please, Jake,” she whispered.

“Come with me, Marie. I’ll give you a quiet place to think, a place where no one can get to you. You can take all the time you need. I’ll take care of the rest.”

Marie stared at his face, studying his eyes for any trace of what his true motive was. He wasn’t stupid. He knew she’d never sleep with him. Maybe he was doing this to get to Warren.

A spark of anger shot through her heart. It would serve him right. Warren deserved a little pain. Marie shouldn’t be the only one hurting.

And what if Jake was right? What if Warren came looking for her? What would she say? She wanted to see him on her terms, which meant she had to get out of here. She needed time to think.

But she had no money and no job, and now she was pregnant. Unless she got another job quick before she started showing no one would hire her. Even more important, how was she going to avoid Warren? Lincoln wasn’t that big of a city.

Jake was offering her a place to go and right now it was the only option she could see. She couldn’t let Warren be in control anymore. She needed to make some decisions and do what was best for her and her baby. It was time she stopped submitting and took the control back.