Amish Passion (Erotic Romance) (Amish Heart Trilogy) (10 page)

“You knew she was committing adultery?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you know her daughter wasn’t your child?”

Ezekiel aimed his answer right at
Rebekah.  “Yes.  It just didn’t matter.”

There is an unwritten rule for lawyers
: never ask a question for which you don’t know the answer.  Jakob’s attorney had just violated that rule.

Ezekiel looked straight at
Rebekah.  “B
ecause I love her so much.”

The attorney
was deflated.  He tried one last time.  “And she betrayed that love, didn’t she?”

“Well, I betrayed her,
really.  I knew that my son had meanness in him and I never set him straight.  Now we see what it came to.” 

Jakob’s attorney
stared at Ezekiel in disbelief, utterly defeated.  He asked no further questions.

Upon cross, Ezekiel told the jury that
Rebekah had told him that she had been raped.

“And you believed her
?” queried the Prosecution.

“Yeah.  I believed her.”  The
Prosecution, satisfied, asked no more questions and Ezekiel was dismissed.

The Defense rested.

Rebekah sat numbly as the jury was given instructions by the judge. 
Ezekiel knew
.  Even more perplexing was the thought:
he loves me
.  Nick sat holding her hand while the jury deliberated.  Everyone else left except Ezekiel and Rebekah’s mother.  Rebekah wanted to attempt to talk to her mother—
would she speak to me?—
but that meant approaching Ezekiel as well, something in her fragile emotional state she was not prepared to do. 

They waited.  During that time she had left briefly to get a drink.  She felt Ezekiel’s eyes upon her as she left and came back, but couldn’t look back at him.  The jury returned with a verdict after only two hours. 

Court resumed.  Jakob was brought back in restraints.  The jury filed in quietly, their faces reserved.  Rebekah held her breath as the verdict was read.

“We, the jury, on the count of forcible aggravated rape find the defendant guilty.  On the count of assault with a deadly weapon, we find the defendant guilty.”

Rebekah’s breath came out in a rush.  Nick squeezed her hand.  “I told you it would be okay,” he said.  That’s when she realized she was crying tears of relief.  

***

Three weeks later, at Jakob’s sentencing, Rebekah sat with her face cast in stone as Jakob was sentenced to five years in with the chance of early parole.  Jakob twaddled his tongue lewdly at her throughout the proceeding.  Going home, she felt overcome by nausea and had to have Nick pull the van over so she could vomit violently into the gutter.  He held her as she heaved, over and over again, as if trying to purge her system of Jakob.  Finally over her queasiness, she spat angrily, “Asshole.”  Nick didn’t have to ask who she was referring to.

For the first month, they
had stayed at the trailer.  Rebekah had developed an aversion to being touched.  Even Nick’s sweet caresses would bring back images of Jakob raping her.  Yet, Nick’s presence helped her feel safe.  So, Nick volunteered to sleep on the couch to watch over her at night.  Later, after they moved, she could allow him to sleep in the same bed with her but not touch her, except for her hands.

Three months later, she could safely nestle into Nick’s arms while falling asleep.  She didn’t object to his gentle stroking of her arms or back but got squeamish beyond that point.  Nick tried to be understanding
. She could see it in his eyes, but she also saw frustration there, too, and it drew a line of tension between them at times.  Once Nick said, half in irritation, half in anguish, “Becca, I am doing the best that I can.”

At night she would dream about being chased by a monster with a sharp blade and a soulless laugh.  She would often awaken from these nightmares screaming out loud and Nick would reach out to hold and rock her.

One such night her dreams intensified, and the pursuing monster was Jakob.  Laughing maniacally, he was soon on top of her and she was powerless to move or scream.  His insane face loomed darkly above hers.  He dove inside of her, stabbing her over and over again and she watched in utter terror as his penis became a huge blade and blood spurted out of her core with each of his stabs, soaking through her nightgown and dripping down her calves. 

She awoke, screaming aloud and fighting Jakob
who somehow had followed her from the dream world and still held her in his grasp.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.  It’s just a dream. It’s okay.”  Nick’s soft voice finally penetrated her panic.  The arms holding her were not Jakob’s, not the monster’s.  “He can’t hurt you now.”

Scalding tears choked her.  She pressed her face into Nick’s shoulder and the torment burst forth hotly, contorting her as it raged through her body.  Try as she might, she could not remove the feeling of Jakob’s prick assailing her or the sharp cut of his knife sinking into her.  Nick’s arms cocooned her, rocking her back and forth. 
Like I’m a baby.
  He stroked her hair and she became very aware of the pleasant Nick-smell of him, his warmth, the light tickle of his chest hair against her cheek, and the beating of his heart.  It was all wonderful, familiar, and safe.

As her sobs subsided, he began to draw his fingertips along her back and arms and she felt the wonderful tingle of love bumps.  She sighed. 
You always know what to do
.  He lifted her face to meet his.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

He stroked her
cheek, his eyes glowing,

Closing her eyes, she felt it come. 
His soft, burning lips searched hers tentatively at first, then oven-like.  She returned his ardor, the feeling of want rising up in her like a resurrected ghost.  It had been so long.  It had been too long.  His hands traveled to cup her breasts, fondling already stiff nipples through the silky fabric of her nightgown.  Her heart raced at his touch, excited, dangerously excited.  He pulled the garment off over her head and gently lowered her back onto the bed, laying himself on top of her.  She felt the hardness of his erection against her groin as he lay on top, kissing her.  She imagined how he would feel inside of her and brief snatches of Jakob’s prick pounding her senseless spattered her mind.  She pushed the thought away, enjoying the smoothness of Nick’s skin and hardness he pressed into her. Moisture collected inside her and incandescence pooled darkly in her groin.  He got up to remove her underpants, then his own, pulling his inflamed cock free.

She gasped. 
It is Jakob all over again and he is going to rape me and kill me.
  An animalistic response to flee ripped through her.  She fought down the alarm in her chest. 
Just relax and let it happen.  This is Nick.  He loves me.  He won’t hurt me.

“You okay?”

“Uh-huh.”  Suddenly, she just wanted it to be done and over with. 
Relax, breathe, it will be okay
. 
After we’ve done it everything else will be easy
. 

He kissed her again.  This time she let her lips move along with his but an element inside her had frozen solid.  He nudged her legs apart with his knees and she closed her eyes tightly and stopped breathing.
             

Penetration was painful.  She hadn’t realized that if she hadn’t done it for a while, then she would tighten up again.  They both moaned in unison, he with intense pleasure,
and she with pain and unspeakable horror.  Here it was, happening all over again.  Jakob was inside her, eviscerating her, shredding her inside. She could feel the sting of his stroke and smell the sour stench of his genital sweat.  She could feel the pummeling of his body inside hers and the sharp thin blade cutting against her throat.  She let out a sickly screech, and shoved him away, kicking madly as she did so.

“Becca!
  Honey, what’s wrong?  Did I hurt you?”

She pulled away sharply, balling up around a pillow.  Agony contorted her frame.

Nick paused a moment, then lightly drew upon the bare skin of her back, easing the nightmare out of her.  After a while she allowed him to take her in his arms and hold her in the darkness and stroke her back lightly. The only sound was the beating of their hearts. They stayed like that until Nick slipped off into unconsciousness.  Rebekah lay awake for a great while longer, feeling the darkness around her, not wanting to sleep again for fear of once more seeing Jakob’s face.

***

Winter melted into mud which then blossomed into spring.  Rebekah took Rachel out to the park in town every day, weather permitting.  She had not yet learned to drive a car, so Rebekah walked and pushed Rachel in her stroller.  On the days it was rainy they stayed inside and played together. Rebekah read to her from her baby books which Nick had brought home.

After tending five children and three adults, plus cleaning a large house, cooking, canning, sewing
, and doing laundry for Ezekiel’s household, the small amount of work required with the modern conveniences in their small apartment seemed trivial.  Rebekah almost felt guilty with all the free time it allowed her.  She gratefully lavished all this time on Nick and their daughter.

They had moved an hour away from Jamesport, into a small Missouri town just south of the Iowa border.  Occasionally, shopping in the nearest “little big town’s” one and only Wal-Mart they would run into Amish that she had known.  Each and every time, they would turn their eyes away from her, acting as if she didn’t exist.  Once or twice they accidentally f
ell into line behind her at the checkout and then change lines upon seeing who she was.  The same thing would happen if they happened to go into the same aisle of the store.  Despite Rebekah’s prior knowledge that this would occur, it was hurtful and she found herself homesick for her Community.  She thought a lot about little Sarah, now seven years old, growing up and attending school.  Undoubtedly, she had changed much.  She and Rachel would have had such good times together. 

Transition
ing into English life had been strange.  First she had to get over the idea steeped in her from birth that technology was evil.  Then it was baffling.  Although she could follow Nick’s instructions and send an email, the idea that her words traveled along—W
hat?  Where?—
into numerical code and traveled on light in the air was too much to fathom.  She did not use it much except to email Nick’s sister in California because she didn’t have anyone else to email.  She had similar difficulties with something called social media.  Nick was protective of her and told her that not everyone is who they pretend to be.  She didn’t understand that at all.  Why would someone pretend to be someone that they were not?  But she had other things to occupy her mind and time.  Nick showed her how to research any question she might have about anything.  Again, he issued warnings about people taking advantage of others.  Realizing that some people were like Jakob, she heeded those warnings.

Clothing had been an interesting adventure.  Nick fairly insisted on dressing their daughter frilly, brightly colored dresses and as much as
Rebekah’s inner Amish perfectionist protested, she relented, wanting to see both Nick and Rachel happy.  Besides, Rachel looked so pretty in the bright pink and red clothes that they purchased.

Her own clothing was a different matter.  She had two problems.  One
difficulty was that she didn’t want to spend money on herself and the other was she didn’t know what to wear.  She was fascinated by blue jeans because Amish women don’t wear men’s clothing.  She also liked the more feminine, lacy attire currently popular.  Nick gave her carte blanche, wanting her to have all new, fancy clothing.  In the end, they compromised by shopping at resale shops in St. Joseph where Rebekah found all varieties of styles and choices.  One thing she stanchly refused to do was to cut her hair into any English fashion.  Nick was very fond of her tresses.

One May evening Nick came home late, having worked overtime. 
Rebekah had set aside his dinner for him to be warmed in the microwave—
another marvel!
—and he had given her some flowers, an apology for being late, and a brief kiss before he headed for the shower.  Rachel was already sound asleep in her crib for the night. 

Listening to the sound of the water in the bathroom,
Rebekah giggled to hear Nick singing in the shower.  After a few bars, she recognized the tune about becoming undone, the song Nick sang to her before he made love to her that July morning almost a year ago.  Had it really been so long ago?  She and Nick had not tried to make love since the disastrous event last winter when she felt that Nick had become Jakob, raping her once again.  They lay with each other in the same bed, often with sexual tension building between them, but Rebekah was terrified to give into it, lest Nick turn into Jakob again in her mind.  Nick was careful not to be fully nude in front of her, or to catch her without her bra and panties on.  Yet, she knew he was sexually frustrated. 

It had been
nine months since they had loved, too long.  Upon waking before him most mornings, she would find him with an erection in his sleep and she would wonder what he was dreaming about.  Once he had been poking out the front of his boxer shorts, fully hard and stiff.  Before she had known what she was doing, she reached forward and touched the smooth silky hardness of it. 
Like steel in a silk glove
.  A thrill went through her.  She stroked him some more with two fingers and a mumble left his lips.  Another stroke produced a smile.  Still his eyes were shut, moving as if in a dream. 
Is he dreaming of us?
  Heat was collecting in her groin.  She wanted to slip off her panties and straddle him, taking him into her to roll him hard and fast and put him away wet.  She hesitated, almost prepared to do it when his soft brown eyes blinked open at her and he smiled.  She withdrew her hand as if burned upon his awakening.