Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy (22 page)
Read Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy Online
Authors: Donald B. Kraybill,Steven M. Nolt,David L. Weaver-Zercher
BOOK: Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy
5.45Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
The frank discussions and binding decisions in Members Meetings are strictly confidential. Ministers urge church members to
fuhgevva und fuhgessa
(forgive and forget—or more precisely, pardon and forget). Members are forbidden from talking about others’ confessions or circulating them as gossip. “This ‘forgive and forget’ really means to let back what is back, to not bring it up again,” explained one church member. In the words of an Amish historian, “A confessed sin may never be held against a person again—it is dead and buried.” In fact, if a member does leak information from the meeting, he or she could be censured for breaking the silence.
fuhgevva und fuhgessa
(forgive and forget—or more precisely, pardon and forget). Members are forbidden from talking about others’ confessions or circulating them as gossip. “This ‘forgive and forget’ really means to let back what is back, to not bring it up again,” explained one church member. In the words of an Amish historian, “A confessed sin may never be held against a person again—it is dead and buried.” In fact, if a member does leak information from the meeting, he or she could be censured for breaking the silence.
The pardon in Members Meetings is quite different from the forgiveness that happens when an individual erases a personal grudge or bitterness from his or her heart. The forgive-and-forget policy focuses on the confidentiality following Members Meetings but does not mean that Amish people are expected to forget painful events of victimization or repress all feelings about them. Everyone we spoke with agreed that no one would forget—or be expected to forget—the shooting at the West Nickel Mines School. Of course, the fact that the shooting was perpetrated by an outsider also makes it quite different from offenses discussed in a Members Meeting. Even if Charles Roberts had not taken his own life that day, the fact that he was not Amish meant that the Amish would have had no authority to punish or pardon him.
The Anabaptist view of the church emphasizes the accountability of members to one another and to the collective authority of the church. The tie between pardon and church discipline rests on several key assumptions. First, Amish members emphasize that forgiving an offender does not mean releasing that person from disciplinary action. “Just because there’s forgiveness doesn’t mean there’s no consequences,” said Minister Gid.
Second, the Amish see a spiritual difference between church members and outsiders. Members of the church have made a voluntary pledge on their knees at baptism to support the church’s
Ordnung
for the rest of their lives. This vow before God and the gathered community is viewed very seriously, because the Amish believe it was uttered in the presence of Christ and ratified in heaven. Thus, baptized members fall under the authority of the church; outsiders do not.
Ordnung
for the rest of their lives. This vow before God and the gathered community is viewed very seriously, because the Amish believe it was uttered in the presence of Christ and ratified in heaven. Thus, baptized members fall under the authority of the church; outsiders do not.
Third, the Amish hold to a two-kingdom theology in which the church, a manifestation of the kingdom of God, operates under a different ethical standard than “the world.” Based on their reading of Romans 13, the Amish believe that God ordained the state with authority to reward those who do good and to punish troublemakers. Thus, the Amish assume that the government will use coercion and even lethal force if necessary to impose its will. At the same time, the church, as a part of the kingdom of God, espouses nonresistance and nonviolence. For this reason, activities such as participating in the military, serving jury duty for capital offenses, holding political office, and filing legal suits are forbidden for members. Although the Amish respect the state and pray for its leaders, they will not participate in state-sponsored activities that involve the use or threat of force.
When an outsider (such as Charles Roberts) wrongs an Amish person, the Amish consider themselves responsible to forgive but not to punish or pardon, for that is the state’s responsibility. However, when a member wrongs another member or affronts the church as a whole, both forgiveness
and
pardon fall within the jurisdiction of the church. For minor and interpersonal offenses, this distinction between the church and the world works quite simply: the church alone handles the disciplinary process. But if a member breaks the law, then he or she will face not only discipline from the church but also punishment from the public system of justice.
and
pardon fall within the jurisdiction of the church. For minor and interpersonal offenses, this distinction between the church and the world works quite simply: the church alone handles the disciplinary process. But if a member breaks the law, then he or she will face not only discipline from the church but also punishment from the public system of justice.
If Amish church members break their baptismal pledges, they are confronted and invited to confess their sins and mend their ways. As a minister explained, “If a person makes an error, according to Matthew 18 we go to them three times before they are excommunicated.” At any one of these three encounters the offending party may repent, at which point the church pardons the member and commits itself not to talk about the matter again. Indeed, almost all transgressions are absolved with this sort of simple confession, discipline, and promise to change behavior.
Occasionally, however, church members may balk and refuse to confess their errors. Those who refuse to confess face excommunication. This happens, for instance, if a member who buys a car refuses to sell it, shows no remorse, and refuses to respond to the church’s “subpoena.”
Excommunication, a long-standing practice of the Catholic Church and many Protestant churches, is similar in some ways to firing an employee who violates company policy. Among the Amish, excommunication is affirmed by a vote of church members, but it is done only after many attempts by leaders to invite the wayward member to repent and uphold his or her baptismal vow. Restoration is always the goal, but because repentance by the wayward person is the key to restoration, the goal is not always achieved.
The Amish church makes a sharp distinction between baptized members and those who choose not to join the church. (Baptism and joining the church occur simultaneously.) Only
members
of the Amish church can be excommunicated and shunned. Amish youth typically make a decision about baptism in their late teens or early twenties. Those who leave the community before joining the church are not disciplined by excommunication and shunning.
members
of the Amish church can be excommunicated and shunned. Amish youth typically make a decision about baptism in their late teens or early twenties. Those who leave the community before joining the church are not disciplined by excommunication and shunning.
Because the Amish believe that church membership is not just an individual spiritual matter, leaving the church or otherwise forfeiting church membership carries significant social implications. The stigma that accompanies excommunication is commonly known as shunning. Shunning follows excommunication and involves rituals of shaming designed to remind all sides of the broken relationship, and hopefully to win the wayward one back into full fellowship. It is precisely this practice that so many outsiders find judgmental and unforgiving.
Contrary to popular notions, shunning does not involve severing all social ties. Members may talk with ex-members, for example. But certain things are forbidden, such as accepting rides or money from ex-members, and eating at the same table with them. “Remember,” said a farmer, “we still help ex-members. If an ex-member’s barn burns down, we go and help to rebuild it. We will help them if their wife is sick. . . . [But] generally we don’t invite them to social events or to weddings or to things like school meetings.” Members are expected to shun ex-members even within their own household, and those who refuse to do so may jeopardize their own standing within the church. Although shunning is a widely accepted practice within the Amish faith, the strictness with which it is applied varies greatly from family to family and from church district to church district.
The Amish cite at least four reasons for the practice of shunning. First, shunning is supported by more than a half dozen New Testament passages. A key scripture passage read at every Council Meeting reminds participants of the church’s authority over each member. In 1 Corinthians 5, the Apostle Paul urges church members to clean out the “old leaven” of “malice and wickedness” before they eat the Lord’s Supper (v. 8). In a pointed admonition, Paul tells the Corinthian church to remove a wicked person from its midst and “deliver such an one unto Satan” so that his or her spirit will eventually be saved (v. 5).
Second, the practice finds support in Article 17 of the Dordrecht Confession of Faith, an early-seventeenth-century Anabaptist statement of belief that the Amish use in the instruction of baptismal candidates.
Third, the Amish believe that shunning is the most effective way to maintain the integrity of the church. In the words of Bishop Eli, “It helps to keep our church intact” by removing rebellious and disobedient people who would stir up dissension.
Last, and most important, shunning serves to admonish offenders and remind them of their broken vows in hopes that they will confess their errors and return to the church. Ex-members are not enemies of the church, Amish leaders are quick to say, but brothers and sisters who must be treated with love. They are always welcome to come back into fellowship upon confession of their sin. In the words of the Dordrecht Confession, “Such persons should not be considered enemies but should be admonished as brethren . . . to bring them to acknowledgment, contrition, and repentance of their sins . . . reconciled to God and again received into the church . . . [so that] love can have its way with them.”
In the Amish view, shunning is a form of tough love for back-sliders. An elderly bishop called it “the last dose of medicine that you can give to a sinner. It either works for life or death.” Another bishop explained that a church without shunning “is like a house without doors or walls, where the people just walk in and out as they please.”
An Amish woman drew from her experience as a mother to explain the basis for shunning. “Shunning and spanking go side by side,” she told us. “We love our children. When we spank them, it’s a discipline to help them control their minds. When spanking, we don’t get angry at them, and the same is true for shunning.” The comparison of spanking and shunning may not be a perfect analogy, but for the Amish, healthy churches, like good parents, should mete out discipline with love. Parents and churches both seek to protect those under their care from their own frailties. Because the Amish believe that each person’s eternal soul is at stake, they contend that communal discipline is the loving thing to do.
Although the church views shunning as a tough form of Christian love, Amish church leaders are as susceptible as leaders in other churches to abusing power. In some cases, bishops and ministers have wielded their authority in oppressive ways. A domineering leader may at times use excommunication and shunning as a tool of retaliation.
Some ex-members become bitter at the church and denounce shunning as an unloving practice. Ex-members can, however, return to the fold anytime and receive pardon—if they are willing to confess their deviance. “I have a brother who is excommunicated,” explained Mose. “We have forgiven [but not pardoned] him. But the back door is always open. He can come back if he wants to, but it’s up to him.” Although most ex-members never return, some do. One ex-member, touched by the grace at Nickel Mines, asked church leaders what she would have to do to return.
Some onlookers point to shunning and ask how the Amish can forgive people like Charles Roberts and yet be so unforgiving of their own members. Is grace extended only to outsiders who do horrific things? A carpenter summed up these sentiments when he told us bluntly, “Some outsiders think that shunning is barbaric.”
Are ex-members forgiven? To answer this question, it is important to note once again the distinction between forgiveness and pardon. Erasing feelings of resentment toward a wrongdoer is different from pardoning a culprit of his or her sins. Letting go of a grudge does not require remorse from an offender. Pardon, however, does require repentance. This is certainly the case in the Amish church, where pardon and restoration of fellowship are available to wayward souls who confess their wrongdoing.
These distinctions between forgiveness and pardon help to clarify Amish responses to the question, “Are ex-members forgiven?” Defining forgiveness as “not holding a grudge,” Gid answered the question with a carefully qualified yes. Ex-members can and should be forgiven, he said, though church members often fall short of that ideal. “Some people shun others and don’t forgive them,” he told us. “Many, however, forgive and also shun.” Another Amish person put it this way: “People who are shunned feel like they are not forgiven, but we
do
forgive them. But they need to be reminded of their sin until they repent.” Mose explained it by saying, “We do try to forgive those that leave. We don’t hold a grudge against them. When someone is shunned, it does not mean they are not forgiven. It’s just a reminder of where they stand [in their relationship to the church].”
do
forgive them. But they need to be reminded of their sin until they repent.” Mose explained it by saying, “We do try to forgive those that leave. We don’t hold a grudge against them. When someone is shunned, it does not mean they are not forgiven. It’s just a reminder of where they stand [in their relationship to the church].”
An Amish leader explained the necessity of judgment—the reason for withholding pardon from unrepentant church members—in this way: “People don’t understand how we can seem to forgive outsiders so easily and not [forgive] among ourselves. . . . But really there is a difference. When we see wrong in the world, we can’t judge that. We leave it up to God to judge. But since God ordained the church to watch over Christians, we have to judge [our own members] out of concern for each other’s souls. That’s what it comes down to: with church discipline we’re concerned about their souls.”
The Amish believe that they have a divine responsibility to judge those who break their baptismal vows, to remind them of what the Amish believe to be the eternal consequences of their negligence, and to preserve the purity of the church. But their view that the church is distinct from the world also means that they can be remarkably non-judgmental toward outsiders who have not taken a vow of obedience before God and the Amish church. This two-kingdom view, when combined with clear definitions of forgiveness, helps unravel the paradox of Amish grace. In other words, it shows us how Amish people around Nickel Mines could forgive their children’s killer even as an Amish church elsewhere could not pardon an unrepentant member who left the community in search of romantic love.
Other books
The Bargain by Vanessa Riley
With or Without You: A Memoir by Domenica Ruta
Written in Red by Anne Bishop
The Unlimited Dream Company by J. G. Ballard
MONOLITH by Shaun Hutson
Cold Hearted (Cold Justice Book 6) by Toni Anderson
I Always Loved You by Robin Oliveira
Bill 7 - the Galactic Hero by Harrison, Harry
Sticks and Stones by Kerrie Dubrock
The Misguided Matchmaker by Nadine Miller
