Amethyst Destiny (19 page)

Finally, Talon pulled out of her, then rolled onto his back, taking her with him. He held her cradled against his chest, his hands sliding from the nape of her neck, down to her thighs, and back again.

“Ye felt pleasure this time,” he said softly. It wasn’t a question.

Julia lifted her head and grazed her lips along his jaw. “Amazing. Incredible.” She nestled her head on his shoulder, too spent to keep it lifted. “I didn’t know it could be like that.”

Deep inside, she knew it would never be again. Because never again would it be with Talon.

The stab of pain was sudden and harsh. The thought of leaving him pressed down on her, a terrible weight on her chest. She curled her arm around him, clinging to him, feeling devastated. And painfully confused.

She had to get home. And she knew the way now. All she had to do was stay here and wait for Hegarty.

But the thought of leaving Talon filled her with a dull, aching grief. “I wish I could take you back with me.”

His hand slid down her bare back. “Nay. I dinna belong in that place.” His words held no spark of interest. Nothing but aversion. Even if Hegarty agreed, and there was no reason to think he might, Talon would never want to leave this place for one where he was a complete and total outsider. Where he was powerless. Without understanding or knowledge. Over his head.

No, that wasn’t Talon, she was certain.

Besides, only Hegarty could send him there, and he would certainly demand the amethyst in return. A thing Talon would never agree to.

When she went home, she’d be going alone.

If only she could delay that inevitability a little longer. A few more days. A few more nights.

Her body went very still.

Why
not
stay a little longer? What difference would it make at home? She was already missing. And she’d already passed the point of being able to make it home in time for her presentation.

What did she have to rush home to anyway? An empty apartment? A job she was seriously considering quitting?

Why not stay a few more days? By then, she’d be sick to death of this place and more than ready to go home. Maybe by then, she’d be ready to leave Talon. And even if she felt the same as she did now, she’d have a few more memories to take out and replay during those long, lonely nights at home.

“Talon?”

His hand sifted through her hair. “Hm?”

She lifted her head, needing to see his eyes. “If I go with you to deliver the chalice to Loch Laggan, will you bring me back here afterward?”

His hand stilled in her hair. “Ye dinna wish to go home?” His voice was thick with confusion.

“I do. Just ... maybe not yet. I was thinking ... the ring brought me to you for a reason, right? Yet we don’t know what that reason is. You may still need me. What if you still need me?”

Slowly, he rolled her off his chest and back onto the bed, then rose and walked to the hearth. His naked body in the firelight was a sight to behold, but the tenseness of his walk had her wishing she hadn’t said anything.

“I dinna think it’s a good idea.” His voice was flat.

That horrible, all too familiar feeling of rejection sliced through her and she clenched her jaw tight against the ache.

“It was just a thought,” she said diffidently, and climbed from the bed to retrieve her shift, keeping her back turned to him as she fought against the crushing emotion she couldn’t bear for him to see.

As the shift slid down around her hips, she felt Talon’s hand on her arm. He tugged her around, the expression on his face at once soft and oh-so-serious.

His hands curved around her shoulders. “It’s not that I dinna want ye to come, Julia-lass. I do. More than ye ken, I want ye by my side for a wee bit longer. But ye react to that chalice and I dinna care for it. There’s more going on here than I ken, and I will not have ye harmed.”

The tight band of misery began to loosen. “The fact that I react to it, or it to me, is all the more reason you need me to stay. It’s all the more reason I want to stay. I’m a Brodie, Talon. A Brodie of Loch Laggan. This is my family’s history we’re talking about, my clan’s. I want to understand it.”

“Have ye forgotten your own cousin fled that place twenty years ago? Hegarty wouldna have sent her to the future if she’d not been in need. Most likely, in danger.”

“That was twenty years ago. The danger could have been anything.” She met his gaze. “I have to go home. We both know that. And once I do, I won’t be coming back.” She lifted her hand to his cheek. “I’m not ready to leave you.” She smiled at him faintly, impudently. “Besides, I’m not sure I have the hang of the lovemaking. I need a little more practice.”

His mouth kicked up, his dimples flashing. “I’ll have no quibbles about giving ye that practice, though you’ve proved to be a fine pupil.” As his expression turned once more serious, he cupped her jaw in his hand. “I’m a selfish man, Julia. I always have been.” His thumb brushed her chin. “I should make you stay here where you’ll be safe. But nay, I want you to come. If you want to be with me longer, I want you to come.”

He lowered his head and kissed her, and she kissed him back. Then he lifted her into his arms and put her to bed, climbing in with her and holding her close.

As his arm went around her, it occurred to her she didn’t know how far Loch Laggan was from here, or how long a trip they were talking about. With a mental groan, she accepted that she was looking at more days of riding horses and sleeping on lumpy mattresses. Or hard ground. More days of relieving herself behind bushes and forgoing all but the basics of personal hygiene.

But she’d be with Talon, spending her nights lying with his arm tight around her. Welcoming him into her body and knowing the most exquisite pleasure and rightness.

Yes, she was nuts. But it was only for a short while, then her life would return to what it had been. And all she’d have of this time would be the memories.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Brenna asked Julia the next morning. “So many things could go wrong. Highwaymen, disease. Drunks who’d rather stab you than look at you. Sometimes I think they kill one another just to relieve the monotony of their lives. I’m tempted to invent the game of soccer just to give them something better to do.”

Julia smiled softly, then sobered. “I’ve seen the violence, Brenna. I get it.”

Why did she feel so close to this woman she barely knew? No doubt because she was the only one in the entire world who understood the place she’d come from. But it was more than that. She genuinely liked Brenna and wished she could have the time to get to know her better. It would be nice to have a friend.

Julia shrugged. “I know I’m taking a risk. But I’m not quite ready for this experience to end.”

Brenna eyed her shrewdly. “You’re not ready to leave Talon, are you? You’ve fallen in love with him.”

“No, I just ... Oh God.” She stared at the other woman. “Maybe I have.”

Brenna took her hand and squeezed it, her eyes filling with sympathy. “It’s a terrible position to be in, isn’t it? I thought I was going to have to leave Rourke.” She shrugged. “I thought he was going to leave me. I was wrong on both counts.”

“But you belonged here all along even if you didn’t know it.”

“Yes.”

And she didn’t. The unspoken words hung between them.

Brenna squeezed her hand again and released her. “I’m sorry, Julia. I understand why you want to spend a little more time with him, just ... be careful, okay? And when you get back, I’ll treat you to a Mexican feast.”

The twinkle in Brenna’s eye had Julia smiling. “Mexican? In seventeenth-century Scotland?”

Brenna laughed. “The entire time I was pregnant I craved Mexican food, so I worked like a fiend to replicate it here and I’ve done a pretty decent job, I have to say. The problem is no one else has acquired a taste for it.” She looked at her hopefully. “Do you like Mexican food?”

Julia grinned. “I love it.”

“Good. I’ll start gathering my spices so I’ll be ready when you get back. It’s a plan.” Brenna reached for her, giving her a big, heartfelt hug.

Julia surprised herself by returning the hug in full measure. She usually wasn’t the kind of person anyone wanted to hug. But Brenna ... Brenna was special.

Julia smiled. “I’ll be back soon.”

“Be prepared, I fully intend to talk you into extending your vacation even longer, and spending some time with me.”

“I’d like that.” And she meant it.

As they walked together to where Talon waited with Rourke and the horses, a small thrill of excitement fluttered within her. Excitement at the thought of seeing Castle Ythan in its prime. Of meeting her ancestors a dozen generations back. Of possibly discovering the reason the ring had called her to help Talon.

And the warm, pleasurable excitement that being with Talon always brought her.

Talon smiled at her, his dimple flashing as he took her hand and helped her mount. As his hands slipped from her waist, Rourke stepped forward and handed Talon something wrapped in cloth.

An unpleasant sensation prickled her skin.

“The chalice,” Rourke murmured, his gaze swinging to her with concern.

Talon nodded. “My thanks.” He moved to his own horse and mounted.

“Are you sure you won’t take a couple of my kinsmen?” Rourke asked.

“My thanks, but no.” The old charmer’s smile spread across Talon’s face. “My methods havena failed me yet.” He was speaking of his ring, Julia knew.

Rourke didn’t look convinced, but nodded.

With a backward wave, they said good-bye to the Viscount and Viscountess Kinross and headed for Loch Laggan.

As they started across the open moor, Julia looked back at Picktillum Castle and wondered if she was making a mistake by leaving the one place she had friends, the one place she was safe. The one place from where she was certain she could get home.

Instead, she rode into the unknown.

But as her gaze met Talon’s and something infinitely warm, infinitely deep passed between them, she knew those other reasons paled in comparison to the main one. With a certainty born of all the days she’d spent alone, she knew she simply wasn’t ready to leave the man with whom she’d fallen in love.

SIXTEEN

Within three hours of leaving Picktillum, the wind picked up, the temperature dropped, and the rain started. Julia began to have serious second thoughts about this journey, wondering if she’d made a mistake in coming with Talon. By the time they found a room and stopped for the night, she was sure of it.

Not only was she cold and wet, but she was hugely out of sorts. She’d been in such a good mood as they’d prepared to ride out from Picktillum. But her mood had begun to deteriorate almost at once and hadn’t gotten any better all day. If she didn’t know better, she’d think she was PMSing, but she’d finished her period only a few days before the wedding, thank God. What in the hell would she do about her period
here?
Although, maybe she
was
PMSing. How did she know the time traveling hadn’t screwed up her cycle, too?

Then again, they’d done the deed last night with no protection whatsoever. For all she knew, she could be pregnant.

Hell.
That’s all she needed.

At least she knew
that
wasn’t the cause of her bitchiness. Even if she were pregnant, it was way too soon for her body to be reacting to it.

Talon ushered her into the room he’d paid for in the hovel-sized farmhouse in the middle of godforsaken
nowhere.
He pressed against her, his hand at her back.

“In ye go, lass.”

“I’m in. Jeez, Talon, it’s the size of a closet.” A low-slung, tiny bed sat against the far wall—a wall she could practically reach out and touch from the doorway. A tiny hearth sat in the corner beside an even smaller shuttered window. Tucked behind the door was a washstand. And that was it.

Julia slid toward the hearth to allow Talon room to enter.

He closed the door behind him and shrugged. “’ Tis this or sleep in the rain.”

Julia scowled. “And they don’t even have a bathtub?” She’d made a point of asking while Talon paid for the room.

“They’ve a burn.”

“A creek. A freeze-your-ass-off, fishy-smelling creek.”

Talon gave her a hard look, then pulled the cloak over his head and laid it on top of the washstand. “Take off yer wet garments, Julia,” he said coolly, clearly not enjoying her foul mood any more than she was.

Which only annoyed her more.

“Can you at least get us some food? I’m starving.”

“Aye.” Without a backward glance, he left her.

With a growl of frustration, she pulled off her soaking-wet cloak and laid it on top of his. They would still be soaked in the morning this way, but there was nowhere to hang anything up. Not in this mouse hole.

She took a deep breath through her nose and let it out slowly. The tension inside her started to unwind a bit and she squatted in front of the small hearth, seeking whatever warmth it had to provide.

Coming with Talon had seemed like such a good idea at the time. One night in his arms and she’d forgotten all about the horses and the cold rain and the miserable sleeping arrangements.

How were they ever going to sleep in here? There wasn’t room for two people to stretch out even if they removed all the furniture.

But she sighed, no longer feeling like hitting someone over it. This, too, shall pass. Eventually. Not until mid-afternoon had she thought to ask Talon how long a trip she’d signed up for. Five days, he’d told her. Each way.

Good grief.

Talon pushed back through the door, two bowls in his hands and a small loaf of bread under his arm.

Her skin prickled with annoyance, though what she was annoyed about, she couldn’t begin to guess. It was as if the sight of him was beginning to set her off.

Great.

It was going to be a damned long ten days.

They ate the tasteless gruel perched on the edge of the bed, in silence, her annoyance growing for no discernible reason. If she got her period, she was going to be royally pissed.

“That was the worst meal I’ve ever eaten.” She ground her teeth together, but the anger wouldn’t be contained. “Where in the hell are we supposed to sleep, anyway?”

“Ye’ll take the bed and ye’ll not worry about me.”

“You’re just going to play martyr?”

“Would ye rather take the floor?”

“You can’t sleep on the floor.” Her hand swept out, nearly hitting him. “There isn’t enough of it.”

Talon took the empty bowl from her fingers and set the pair of them atop the cloaks on the washstand. Then he turned to her. “What ails ye, Julia?”

She scowled as she looked away. “I shouldn’t have come. I wish I hadn’t come.”

Talon sighed. “I’ve no time to take ye back. I vowed to have the chalice to Loch Laggan in a fortnight. We’ll barely make it if we press on. I’ll lose two days if I return ye to Picktillum first.”

“Why is it so damned important to deliver that thing on time?”

“Would ye have me break my vow?” He looked at her intently. “Would you break you own?”

She gave him a baleful stare, then looked away. “No. If I make a commitment, I move heaven and earth to meet it.”

“Aye.”

“What if I stay here, God forbid? Or find my own way back?”

“Have ye already forgotten what can happen to a lass? Even a lass with a man at her side. Ye’ll not travel alone, Julia. I’ll not allow it. Ye’ll be staying with me.”

She glared at him. “Who in the hell do you think you are ... ?”

He grabbed her shoulders and hauled her against him, kissing her, stealing the words from her mouth. She stiffened, his high-handedness only exacerbating her already foul mood, but at the taste of his mouth, desire rushed through her, sweeping away the frustration that had built within her during the miserable day.

With deft hands, he divested them of their damp clothes, setting atop the pile the chalice that had been tied to his belt all day. Then he took her into his arms, his body heat stealing the last of her chill. The restlessness that had plagued her all day took another form, turning her needy and impatient. She pressed her hips against him, against the thick, hard erection trapped between their bodies.

“I want you, Talon,” she said fiercely against his mouth.

“Aye, Julia-lass. And ye’ll have me.”

Their bodies smelled rain-damp and earthy, but she found she didn’t mind the smell at all. Talon’s hands caressed her back, one sliding into her hair, the other diving lower to cup her rear. He pulled her hard against him, rubbing himself against her stomach, letting her feel how badly he wanted her.

Heat gathered low in her body. Moisture dampened her upper thighs.

“Talon,
I need you.”

He pressed her down onto the bed, but instead of following her down as she’d expected, as she wanted, he knelt on the floor beside her and took her breast into his mouth. She felt his hand slide between her legs, pulling her knee outward to open her for him. Then his fingers were playing in her wetness, burying themselves inside her body.

She arched into his intimate touch, lifting her hips to deepen the penetration as she buried her fingers in his hair. Her body was on fire, desperate for his touch, desperate to be filled.

All day, she’d done nothing but snap at him and complain, yet he touched her with hunger and tender care.

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch today.” She gasped as his fingers fluttered inside her. “Such a shrew.”

His mouth released her breast. “Wheesht, lass,” he said softly. “’ Twas a trying day.” He licked her nipple, then lifted his face to look down into her own. His thumb brushed her clitoris, making her jerk and moan as he watched her. A devilishly satisfied smile lit his eyes and lifted his mouth, making one of his dimples peep. “And ye’ll forget the day now. Ye’ll forget all but me.”

He lowered his face to hers and kissed her thoroughly, his tongue sweeping inside her mouth as his fingers continued to play. The tension between her legs built, her hips grinding restlessly against his hand, seeking the release he was driving her toward.

Without warning, he pulled his hand away and covered her body with his.

“I want ye, Julia-lass.” His blue-eyed gaze bore into hers, holding her captive as he slowly slid inside her, filling her. Making them one.

Over and over, he thrust into her as she lifted her hips to meet him. All the emotion she felt for him welled up, pressing against the inner walls of her heart until she thought it would burst.

“I love you,” she said softly against his shoulder. The release broke over her and she cried out with pleasure, arching into him, pressing him deeper.

Moments later, she felt his body tense as he pressed harder, thrust faster, then shuddered, a low sound of deep satisfaction rumbling from his throat. He’d found his release, but instead of holding her as he had last night, he pushed off her and reached for his pants.

Julia watched in confusion as he turned his back to her and pulled them on, then tied the chalice at his belt, as it had been all day, and reached for his shirt.

“What are you doing?”

He pulled the shirt over his head and down over the chalice. “I’ll be back. Sleep.” Without another word, without meeting her gaze, he left.

She stretched languorously, her body feeling sated and wonderful, even as she glanced at the closed door. Was something wrong? Had he heard something that had spurred him to investigate?

She sat up slowly, a vague disquiet niggling her brain. Everything had been normal between them, perfect, until he’d come. And bolted.

Right after ...

Oh, no.

Right after she’d told him she loved him. Was
that
why he’d left like that? Surely not. He knew she didn’t mean to stay here. It wasn’t like she was going to try to trap him into marriage or anything.

But she was suddenly sure it was those three words that had sent him running.

A sick feeling curled in her stomach, a deep and painful hurt. Because clearly he didn’t feel the same.

Damn him.

Never before had she told someone she loved him. Her father hadn’t wanted the words and no one else had ever mattered. Why couldn’t Talon have pretended? Or just said thank you or something.

Why had he had to make it so blasted obvious he hadn’t wanted to hear the words?

She rose and pulled on her shift. It didn’t matter whether he loved her back, dammit.

But the pressure in her chest intensified until she could barely breathe around it.

Nine more days of this hell, then she’d be back at Picktillum. She’d be going home.

Then maybe this miserable feeling would finally go away.

Talon stood in the dark, the cool wind blowing his hair back from his face, doing nothing to ease the turmoil inside him. His head pounded, his belly ached. His ribs felt as sore as if he’d been pinned beneath a horse.

She loved him.

And he was naught but a lie.

His body still thrilled with the aftereffects of their lovemaking, a joining sweeter even than last night’s. Sweeter than any he’d ever known, for it had been more than merely a coming together of two bodies. A melding of person, of spirit. Of being.

He felt changed. Reborn. As if, for a few bright moments, he’d become the man she wanted him to be.

For a brief few moments, his heart had sung, his spirits had soared before crashing to the dirt like a bird with a damaged wing. Battered. Splintered.

The man she thought she loved didn’t exist.

He clenched his fists at his sides and arched his back, pulling the damp night air into his lungs and exhaling hard, as if he could free himself from the confusion within him.

In a handful of days, she’d upended his world.

He should have left her at Picktillum, where she’d have been safe. Where he wouldn’t have had to worry that every traveler who saw her would try to steal her from him as the brigands had done two days ago, or that at any moment she’d lose her riding skill and tumble beneath the deadly hooves of her horse. Or that with every mile she was becoming more necessary to him.

Even her ill-temper and sharp tongue this day had done nothing to quell the ache inside him at the thought of saying farewell to her once and for all. At the thought of never again kissing her sweet lips or sliding deep inside her body.

He strode out into the yard feeling the need to escape these feelings that wove through him, snaring him in emotions he didn’t want to feel. An aching need to hold and protect. To cherish and never let go.

Emotions that had no place in his heart or mind. Nor in this gypsy-like existence of his.

For most of his life he’d been on his own, with no one to look out for but himself. He liked it that way. He was better on his own. Without a lass to worry over. Without this damnable ache in his chest, this constant fear that next time danger closed around her, he wouldn’t be in time to save her.

Aye, he should have left her behind where she was safe, but there was little help for it now. He hadn’t the time to take her back.

She would remain at his side another handful of days until he delivered the chalice, then he would see her safely back to Picktillum and leave her with the Viscount and Viscountess Kinross. He’d long ago learned to take a quick measure of a man and he trusted Kinross to fulfill his promise to call Hegarty to send her home.