Amelia's Story (Box Set the Complete Series Books 1 & 2) (16 page)

Broken Trust

As we approached
, Mr. and Mrs. Price were standing at the end of their road, waiting eagerly for my arrival, I took a deep breath and now believed it was all real: this was actually happening to me. I climbed out of the car and was greeted by the biggest hug I had ever received from Mrs. Price, she held me so tight I thought I might break!

Mr. Price greeted me with a big smile and said welcome home. We all went into the house where the two boys, Trond, and Segour, were waiting and they welcomed me with open arms and referred to me as sister. Everything was just perfect, almost too perfect, really.

After my Social Worker said goodbye for the very last time I knew I had entered the world finally, without the restrictions placed up on me under the care-system. This felt great – no, more than great - it felt amazing; it was a surreal moment in my life. I was asked to go upstairs and look in my room as a house gift had been placed there for me from the whole family. I entered my bedroom and closed the door. I looked towards my bed and there was a lovely large box with a pink ribbon in the centre set out in a bow. I pulled the ribbon loose and opened the box. I gasped in amazement at my new beautiful red coat. It was the most beautiful coat in the whole world; there was also a pair of jeans, a red sweater, and some socks and knickers. There was also a smaller box and on opening it I almost stopped breathing for a split second, as displayed in a beautiful black velvet box sat a silver Saint Christopher pendant, the patron saint of travelers, a good luck charm to guide you on your travels through your life. I sat down on my bed and finally was overcome with emotion. I broke down in tears and once I started I could not stop.

Mrs. Price, who I was to call Torwen going forward, opened the door and came to sit down beside me. She held my hands so tight with tears in her eyes and told me I had nothing to fear anymore, that she would always be there for me. I loved her already, she was like the mother I never really had and always wanted. She wiped my eyes and informed me we were all going out to dinner to celebrate my arrival.

Over the next week I settled in very well. Torwen worked nights for a local company down the road which was within walking distance. I still worked at Kiss Kiss Fashion House but my apprenticeship was coming to an end, sadly. They informed me I had been a great apprentice and learned very quickly; however, there was not a permanent position available as they were already over-staffed. I was informed if one came up in the future I would be the first on the list. Torwen and Jason were very sympathetic and told me not to worry. I was fretting over not being able to pay Torwen the £20.00 a week house keeping I had agreed to. She advised me it was one of those things and something else would come along.

I enrolled myself into night school as it was so important to me to complete my exams. I wanted my O-Level certificates to take me forward and to prove to myself I could do them. I applied for a job in a local office as a junior, and was to start the following Monday - this had been a stroke of luck which I was very grateful for.

I was not to see Torwen very often from there on as she worked nights and I worked days. Jason was always home in the evenings; he would sit down after a hard day running his engineering company with a couple of beers and the remote control in hand.

One particular night I was also sat down on the sofa watching a history documentary on the holocaust. I had not noticed Jason
sidling up to me on the sofa, until he placed his hand on my knee. He startled me and I jumped nervously. He was tipsy, his eyes were bloodshot, and he was breathing all over me, and he kept saying he just wanted a cuddle. I felt sick to my stomach, I ran out of the room and straight upstairs.

I stayed in my room until morning and could not wait to get out of the house. Why me? Why Jason, a man I respected and looked up to? This just cannot be happening. I would not allow myself to believe it. At dinner time, this was the only time we were all together, I slowly made my way to the kitchen and then Jason pulled me into the living room and went on to warn me not to say a word to Torwen. He had made a mistake and did not know what he was doing, and finally, his last words reverberated right through me, “Torwen would never believe you anyway, a girl who spent her whole life in care against her husband, no she would not believe you Amelia, so I am warning you, if you like it here and want to stay then just pretend like it never happened.”

Torwen was calling us all into the dining room for dinner. It was just after six o'clock and she had to get ready for work soon. We all sat in silence and I was holding back the tears. Torwen could see there was something wrong with me, but I just said I was very tired and needed to sleep.

I lay in bed wide awake that night, watching the door handle; I was afraid he may try to come into my room, but thankfully he didn’t. I weighed up my options and there was none. The only option left open to me was going back to my mother’s and that was a place I did not want to revisit. I had no money and only earned £55.00 per week at my new job as an office junior, and £20.00 per week went to Torwen for house keeping. I was left with the grand total of £35.00 per week for travel expenses, toiletries as I had to buy my own, and anything else a young woman might need. My options were limited to nothing. My fate for the time being was sealed.

This was supposed to have been my new beginning, my new life, I was so happy. Torwen was the most wonderful woman, I could never tell her anyway as it would only break her heart and her marriage, and there was no way I wanted that on my conscience. I decided the best thing for me to do was keep out of his way, not to give him any opportunity to assault me again. I avoided him at all costs. I would not watch television if he was in the living room, and I spent all my time studying in my room for my exams.

The following Saturday I was to meet Damian and I had the whole day to spend with him. We walked around the shopping centre, and then made our way to a café for a cup of coffee. I never told him what happened; I was afraid it would put him off me and he would no longer want to see me as by now, I was officially his girlfriend. We were both 17 in just a few months. Damian had told me he was being scouted by Ipswich Town Football Club for their reserves team, and if they liked what they saw then he would be moving to
Ipswich. My heart just sank. I could not bear the thought of losing him. I started crying and he assured me that I was the only girl for him and that he would write often, and visit when he wasn’t playing or training.

That night Damian came back to the Prices house with me as they were away for the night on a business trip. Damian and I lay together on the floor kissing and cuddling, and that very night we took our relationship to another level. For both of us this was a special moment and a meaningful one. Eventually he had to leave and we agreed to meet the following Saturday. Damian never judged me, never made me feel worthless because I had nothing, he never reminded me of where I came from, and he always said you can be any one you want to be Amelia, just follow your dreams. I loved him so much, he saw me, he understood me, and he still wanted me
, even though I was carrying enough emotional baggage to be stopped at customs!

One day I decided to try and contact Jake as I was now free to do so and no one could stop me. I called the children’s home where Jake was still residing but I was met by a barrage of excuses. It would unsettle him at this time, they told me. Still we were being kept apart. I would have to wait until he was released from the care system and then we were both free to be a brother and sister once more. After work one Tuesday I decided to take a long hot bath while Jason was working late. I lay there swamped in bubbles thinking about Damian and his possible transfer to Ipswich Football Club, when I heard the back door slam hard down stairs. I heard someone stumbling up the stairs, and that’s when it dawned on me that it was Jason and he was drunk again.

I hurried out of the bath, put my shoes against the door, and wrapped myself in a towel as quickly as I could. Before I knew what was happening Jason had barged into the bathroom and made a beeline for me. He grabbed my head tightly in his hands slobbering all over my face. I could smell the strong stench of beer on his breath, and it was disgusting. I tried to struggle free but he was far too strong for me. Then he ripped my towel off, threw it to the floor, and he pushed me against the wall. I was screaming at him begging him to get out and not to do this, but my cries went unheard. He kept saying it’s just you and me now Amelia and I always get what I want.

The tears streamed down my face, and I felt revulsion and disgust as his hands were slithering over my body. I felt like a trapped animal once more. He pushed me to the floor and started to unzip his trousers, and then Torwen came in through the front door calling my name. Her voice sounded like the voice of an angel to me that night, it saved me from a fate that did not bear thinking about. Jason jumped off me and ran from the bathroom into his bedroom; I sat on the floor curled up into a ball crying uncontrollably.

After what felt like an eternity but was only a few minutes, I pulled myself together, got dressed, and went downstairs to see Torwen who was supposed to have been working. She said that she had not been feeling too good so came home early. She made us both a hot drink and we sat talking at the kitchen table, she was telling me how happy she was, that I was like the daughter she never had, she said Jason felt the same way too. I thought if only she knew, this would totally crush her world. She went on to talk to me about love and how one day I would find the love of my life like she had found hers in Jason. I knew there and then I could never tell her.

The next day I did not go to work and rang in sick. I was too emotionally distressed to go in. I needed someone to talk to but I had no one. I did not want to worry Damian, the only good thing in my life, with problems; he had far more important things to be worrying about. I once again felt totally alone in the world, I was almost 17-years-old and as much alone as I ever was. So much for my new beginning, this felt like an extension of my past. I started to blame myself - it must be me, it must be my fault. I was at a loss as to where to turn. I decided the only thing I could do was save as much money as possible from my weekly wage, pass my O-Level exams which were coming up, and then move out. At least then I would hopefully have enough money for my first couple of months rent to get myself started.

As the months running up to Christmas passed by I had saved a few hundred pounds, taken my exams, and managed to keep out of Jason’s way. By now Torwen had noticed the atmosphere between Jason and me and had started questioning it. She kept asking me if there was anything wrong, had Jason told me off recently or had we fallen out over something. I reassured her that all was well, and that there was nothing to worry herself about.

Christmas day was upon us and a traditional Christmas ensued. I was given a faux fur jacket from the family which I loved, and we had a traditional Christmas dinner with all the trimmings followed by an afternoon of the “Wizard of Oz.” I could not get into the spirit of Christmas at all. Jason kept staring at me through the corner of his eyes every so often, and he would look me up and down as if undressing me whenever I walked into a room. I hated him. I hated what he had done to both Torwen and me - he had broken my trust and reduced my faith in humanity once again.

Over Christmas I saw Damian and discovered that he had been given a place on the Ipswich Premier League reserves team. I was so pleased for him, but I also felt very sad, I felt like I was losing him forever. He was making it; his dream was actually coming true. What would he want with me now? He would have all the girls throwing themselves at him, I feared once he left I would never hear from him again, we had known each other for 18 months by this time and to me he was my first love. I could not imagine loving anyone else ever.

Surely as if it was written Damian was transferred to Ipswich Football Club, and it would be a long while before I heard from him. When he did come to visit, we spent our time together but it was soon time for him to leave again. We said our goodbyes at the bus stop, kissing passionately for a long time. We made promises to each other and the one promise I held on to was his promise to write often, once he had settled in at Ipswich Football Club. I watched the bus carrying the love of my life away and stood there crying for a very long time.

I made my way back up to the house and walked in through the back door as quietly as I could. I knew Torwen was at work and Jason was the only one in the house as the boys were always at ice hockey practice or out with their friends. I started walking up the stairs when Jason appeared as if from nowhere at the top of the landing. I stopped dead in my tracks and turned to go back down. He started walking after me, calling my name. I could tell he had been drinking again, and I made my way into the kitchen and shut the door behind me. Jason burst through the door like a mad man. He grabbed me and pulled me into the hallway out of sight of the kitchen window. He pushed me on to the floor and started kissing my neck and groping my breasts. I felt sick once more as all I could smell was that putrid stench of beer coming from his breath. He had pulled my leggings down and I could feel his hands sliding up the inside of my legs. I pushed him onto his side and tried to run, but he grabbed my ankle, pulling me back towards him. I started kicking with all the strength I could muster and finally I caught him between the legs.

I ran upstairs as fast as I could, not even thinking about my leggings lying on the floor in the hallway. I put on a pair of jeans and my coat; I packed all my things into my sports bag and sat down to think about my next move. I was heaving and ran into the bathroom to be sick.