Ambushed (24 page)

"I'm
sorry we haven't had a chance to talk before this, Brindi. I've been
neglecting you."

She
didn't look up. Apparently just putting one foot in front of the
other was more work than I'd realized, that or she wasn't ready to
let me see how she felt.

"It's
okay. I've been sleeping a lot, and you've been busy. I kind of feel
like I should resent whatever you're working on, but I don't. It's a
pretty odd feeling."

"Jasmin
said you asked her about the skin addiction yesterday while I was in
the shower?"

Brindi
nodded. She was starting to breathe hard now, so I stopped and picked
her up.

"Thanks,
I guess I'm not up to moving and carrying on a conversation at the
same time yet. Yeah, that was the first time that I realized your
absence was the reason I felt so crappy."

"Do
you have any questions for me?"

"So
how exactly did this happen?"

That
was the same question I'd been asking myself. I knew the answer, but
I couldn't figure out where I could have legitimately taken a
different action than I had.

"My
friends and I aren't normal humans, we're shape shifters. I guess you
figured that out the night that you were injured though. We give off
a kind of constant low-level energy that is intensified when a human
touches us.

"Usually
it's not a big deal because for most people it takes quite a bit of
exposure before they start craving that contact, but occasionally
someone will be more susceptible or the sensation will be paired with
some kind of traumatic experience, and addiction will happen much
more quickly than normal."

We
reached the bench and I gently set her down and then sat down next to
her. She reached for my hand, apparently without any conscious
decision on her part. I interlaced our fingers together and tried not
to think about how odd it felt to be holding hands with someone I
didn't know. I'd spent my entire life never being anything more than
friends with anyone and now Brindi and I were essentially a couple.

"So
when I got hurt I also got addicted to you."

"Yes,
once again, I'm really sorry about that. I wouldn't have chosen to
have that happen to you, but I appreciate your saving my life. How
did you find me in the middle of all of that craziness, especially
when it was so dark?"

Brindi
started to shrug and then grimaced as the motion pulled on her
stomach wounds. "It's kind of hard to explain. I could feel you
out there fighting. Not at first, but once you changed to your hybrid
form I could sense you. Everyone else was more…fuzzy…but
I could feel them too. I was scared out of my mind, especially when
that other guy crashed into the booth next to me, but then all of a
sudden that didn't matter. All that mattered was that you were in
danger. Is that normal for these kinds of things?"

I
cleared my throat and then shrugged. "Honestly, I'm not sure.
I've never had this kind of bond with anyone else before now and most
shape shifters don't talk much about skin addiction. It usually puts
a lot of strain on both sides of the bond."

"So
now I'm your dirty little secret?"

The
words should have been caustic, but there wasn't any heat behind
them. Her tone had every indication of someone simply seeking
clarification on their status.

"No,
I'm not going to force you into that kind of an existence, but there
are complications. I'm not a very safe person to be around right now.
The best thing would be for us to get you healed back up and then
help you break the addiction."

"What
if I don't want to get clean?"

Once
again her voice had the dead, emotionless quality of someone who
didn't feel like they had any real input on the decision.

"Do
you?"

"No,
I don't."

"You
don't sound very emphatic about that."

She
looked up at me and for the first time I saw a hint of the fire that
must have sustained her through everything else she'd gone through up
until now.

"It's
hard to get worked up about something I can't influence, but if you
want me to display more emotion I can do that."

I
resisted the impulse to rub my temples. Nobody had done anything
overtly aggressive yet, but that didn't mean that we were really
safe. I looked away from her, pretending to just be buying myself
time to think, but in actuality using it as an excuse to try and
unobtrusively scan our surroundings.

"I
don't want you to feel a certain way just because it's what you think
I want. Honestly, the thing that would make me the most happy would
be if you could distance yourself enough from the addiction to make
your own decision."

"You
almost sound like you really mean that."

"I
sound like I mean it because I do mean it. If I was the kind of
person who wanted to have some kind of twisted subservient
relationship I could have had it anytime in the last three or four
years. If you remember, I did everything I could to stop you from
touching me."

She
gripped my hand even tighter, like she was worried that I was about
to pull away, but there was a mixture of surprise and hope on her
face.

"I've
never met someone who wouldn't try to take advantage of an addiction.
My suppliers, my competition, even me, we all did everything we could
to get people hooked on our product so that we could suck them dry."

My
free hand formed a fist, but I forced myself not to squeeze her hand.
If I lost control even a little bit it would be almost impossible not
to hurt her.

"That's
not who I am. I've seen the effects of this kind of addiction
firsthand. I don't
need
to take advantage of you."

"You
don't like that I was a drug dealer, do you?"

"No,
I honestly don't like it, but I was willing to pay to get you free of
your suppliers before you became addicted to me. I'd like to see you
get a fresh start; none of this changes that."

"How
come?"

"Like
I said, I've seen the effects of addiction firsthand. Maybe you
getting clean and making something of yourself proves that it's
possible and that gives me hope that someone else could make the same
change."

Brindi
stared off into space for a moment and I used her distraction to
check another quadrant of our surroundings.

"I
told myself that I didn't care that I was hurting people. Nobody had
ever taken care of me or given me any kind of break in life, so I
shouldn't have to worry about them any more than they'd worried about
me."

"What
do you think now?"

She
took a deep breath. "I don't know. No, that's not right, I feel
bad about what I did, but it's hard to separate my craving for you
out from everything else. You despise the life I used to live and I'm
terrified that you're about to leave me here all alone, so I
need
to be what you want me to be. I need to hate the things you hate and
love the things you love because that's the best chance I have of
continuing to touch you, of continuing to feel this way."

"I'm
not leaving you here and I won't cut you off, at least not until
after you've recovered enough to survive the withdrawal symptoms.
Does that help?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes,
always."

She
shook her head. "It takes the tiniest bit of pressure off, but
it's not much compared to the fear that you'll go away tomorrow or
next week. I've been on a lot of different drugs and nothing felt
like this. It's not just chemical, there's something else to it."

"Try
to fight it, Brindi. I know it's hard, but it's important. You don't
belong in my world. I can't protect you, I can barely even protect
myself. The entire time we've been here I've been trying to keep an
eye on our surroundings because this could all be one huge trap. I
never would have brought you here if there'd been any way to leave
you behind without killing you."

"Why
are you here then if it's so dangerous?"

She
didn't seem worried about the possibility of dying herself, if
anything she was most concerned that something would happen to me.

"I'm
here because there are things more important than whether I live or
die. There are a lot of people relying on me to find the help this
guy may be able to provide."

Brindi
shivered, but she didn't smell cold. "Do you realize just how
badly that rocks my worldview? If you're the real deal, if you really
mean what you're saying, then I was terribly wrong to have done most
of the things that I've done so far in my life. That's more
frightening than anything else you've said so far. It's scary to
contemplate having to worry whether people are trustworthy. It's a
lot easier to just know that they aren't and go from there."

"How
old are you, Brindi?"

"I
turn eighteen next month. Why, how old are you?"

"I'm
seventeen too."

She
looked at me with astonishment stamped into her expression. "That's
not very old to have the weight of the world on your shoulders."

"That's
funny, I was just thinking the same thing about you."

Whatever
response she might have had in mind was cut off by the sound of my
phone ringing.

"Yeah?"

"I
checked with Shawn. It sounds like you've had an eventful week."

"You
could say that, but you might want to reserve judgment until you hear
how my vacation went down."

That
earned me a chuckle. The guy on the other end sounded like he was
laughing in spite of himself, but he
was
laughing.

"There's
a trail on the south end of the parking lot; follow it. You can bring
the girl."

He
hung up again before I could respond. I pocketed my phone and then
stood.

"It
sounds like we've got a hike ahead of us. It's probably best if I
just carry you."

Brindi
nodded. "I'm not going to complain about being in your arms,
Alec, you know that."

I
picked her up and headed to the other side of the parking lot. The
trail wasn't immediately obvious, but once I'd gone a dozen yards or
so in, it became more defined and easier to follow.

Brindi
fell asleep within moments, which was good because it meant she was
getting the rest she needed, but bad because I had to be even more
careful. I couldn't afford to stumble and wake her up, or even worse
fall and reopen her stomach wounds.

It
had been ages since I'd gone on a hike in human form. I'd forgotten
just how slow it was to navigate through any kind of wilderness on
two legs. Normally when I needed to cover any kind of real distance I
was either on four legs or in a car.

I
hiked for more than an hour before I got to a spot where I could set
Brindi down and stretch out the tired muscles in my back and neck.
Brindi started to wake up, but I reached down and rested a hand on
the side of her face, which made her smile and go back to sleep.

If
we had to go much further food and water were going to become an
issue. Not for me, I could probably get away with drinking the water
from one of the streams in the area, but Brindi didn't have the
advantages of a shape shifter constitution that could laugh off most
of the parasites in a flowing body of water.

I
pulled out my phone and debated calling my contact, but then just
shrugged and put the phone back in my pocket. If he'd set this meet
up with the idea that I'd be traveling on four feet then I could have
hours of walking still ahead of me, but in the interest of keeping
whatever goodwill I had garnered so far, I'd give it another hour
before calling again.

I
picked Brindi back up and started forward again. We were slowly
climbing the mountain we were on. The path was mostly headed north
with an imperceptible rise to it, but the air was getting colder as
we ascended and I was grateful that we'd purchased Brindi the heavy
down coat she was wearing.

The
scenery was breathtaking and I realized that was what I would have
missed if I'd been tearing along the trail on four feet. Everything
was so incredibly green that it boggled my mind. There was a beauty
to the desert around most of Sanctuary, but it was a more subtle
beauty than what was before me now.

The
sheer variety to the flora and fauna around me was amazing; I wasn't
sure I'd ever seen so many different shades of green in one place
before. I could have gladly continued walking for hours more despite
the fact that Agony's—and therefore my—time was limited.

It
seemed silly to say so, even inside the privacy of my own mind, but
the cacophony of noise around me, the twittering of the birds I could
see and the rustling of other animals that I couldn't, was actually
peaceful. As I continued down the snowy path I felt reservoirs inside
of me that I hadn't even realized were depleted start to refill.

No
matter what else happened, regardless of whether Shawn's contact
ended up helping me, the trip out here had been time well spent. I
took another deep breath as the tension continued to melt out of my
body and I couldn't help but smile.

Brindi
was deeply enough asleep that her hands finally fell away from my
neck despite the magnetic effect that the prospect of touching my
skin seemed to have on her. She unconsciously started to thrash
around as her body sought out the connection that it knew it needed
even if her conscious mind hadn't noticed the lack yet. Rather than
letting her wake, I simply adjusted my right hand, sliding it up
underneath her coat enough that my palm was resting against the small
of her back.

She
was a complication and I knew we would both be better off if we could
cure her addiction and send her far, far away from me, but Brindi was
more than that. She wasn't the person I would have chosen to fill the
hole in my life, but even so it still felt good for the gap I'd been
feeling inside of me for so long to be at least partially covered
over.