Ambient (19 page)

"Avalon?" I asked, speaking through the door, over the roar
of the water.

"Yeah?"

"I think we're under watch."

"There's something out there?" She shut off the water.

"Yeah. I'm going to turn out the lights."

"Aren't the drapes closed?"

"They are now," I said, pulling the newspapers across; it might
make them more suspicious to see the apartment darken, I thought,
reconsidering.

"Why haven't they come up here yet if they're after us?"

"They're waiting," I said. "Maybe."

"Waiting for what?"

"It's terror,"I said. "They're trying to scare us, I think."

"Sounds like they're doing a good job. If they were after us,
wouldn't they be up here already?"

"They wouldn't get far at night down here and they know it."

"Crossing the street?"

"They'll wait until morning," I said.

"Who do they sacrifice downstairs?" she asked; with the water
not running it was easy to hear the ruck in the hough.

"Volunteers." I looked out the window again, turning back a
corner of the paper. They were just sitting there.

"You ever talk to your sister about me?"

1 Yes."

"What's she think of me?"

"She forms hasty judgments." Waiting till we bed and bideaway, perhaps. Perhaps not.

"She's older than you?"

"Four years."

"What does she look like, anyway?"

"She has style," I said, "but she's taken. Has a girlfriend."

"What's her girlfriend like?"

"Precocious."

Avalon opened the bathroom door, stepping out; she was naked. She stood in the doorway for a moment, outlined against the
light, her body steaming as if fresh baked.

"When I'm wet I can't get my jeans on," she said, walking
forward. "Not that you've never seen everything I've got. Not
that you weren't going to see. You mind?"

"Uh-uh," I said, staring at her.

"They still out there?" she asked, leaning forward, peering
out from beneath the newspaper.

"Of course."

She raised up and came over to me, twisting her arms around
my waist. "What'll happen to us, Shamey?"

Her skin comforted my hands as I patted her. She was soft as
fog, and I feared that, somehow, she'd disappear as soon, while
I wasn't looking.

"Something."

"You think they're alive or dead?"

"No idea. Whichever way it went, I think somebody wants to
talk to us about it."

"You think we'll be all right?"

"Maybe. "

"Shameless," she said, holding me more tightly, "you think
about me when I'm not around?"

"Always."

"You wanta sleep with me tonight?"

"Yes."

"Since my eyes first vizzed. "

"You've wanted to a long time, haven't you?"

"You talk funny sometimes," she said. "Like you did in the
bar downstairs. I always wanted to sleep with you, too. You just
weren't in the job description. "

"I guess I am now," I said. "Unless we've been fired."

"So fuck 'em," she said. "Fuck me first."

Romance's room, in our house, was down the hall. I picked
her up and carried her into the bedroom.

"You sleep in here?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said, pushing aside plaster chunks with my feet as
I made our way across the room.

"Where's your sister sleep?"

"In here."

"Really," she said as I set her down. She noticed a pool of
dried blood on the floor. "Heavy period?"

"Had company drop in about two months ago."

She flung herself onto my bed face down, parted her legs, and,
raising her bottom, moved it in slow circles. It seemed to me that
her smirker tattoo glared at me, as if condescending to my presence.

"Do me double," she said, laughing, her face pressed against
my pillow. "I'll suck you dry."

I found myself short on repartee under the circumstances. She
rolled onto her back, looking up. "Why's a blanket nailed to the
ceiling?" she asked.

"To cover the hole. "

"Where'd the hole come from?"

"That's where our company dropped in."

She nodded, as if any of it made sense. She stared at Enid's
block of foam but said nothing. I took off my clothes, feeling it
very strange to undress before a woman who was not my sister.
Avalon raised her head, vizzing me up and down.

"I've never seen so many scars," she said.

"I get around."

"What's the long one running down your shoulder from?"

" Bayonet. "

"The big one in your shoulder?"

"Hatchet."

"That one?" she asked, pointing.

"Cigarette."

"You don't smoke."

"Enid does."

I got into bed with her. "You nervous?" she asked.

"Yeah. "

We were busy for what seemed to be hours. Avalon had a vivid
imagination and reveled in the perverse.

"You like it?" she asked, after some passage of silence. We'd
not been interrupted. I nodded.

"You're shivering. You cold?"

I shook my head.

"Scared?"

I didn't answer.

"Was that your first time?"

"No," I said, adding, "Kind of."

"Kind of?" she laughed. "Who with before? Lalas?"

"No. "

"Neighborhood girls."

"Kind of. I never did much-"

"Don't you like girls?"

"My work kept me so busy-"

"You sound like Sonny now. This isn't better than work?"

"Much better."

"You sweat like a hog," she laughed, rolling against me,
pressing her face against my chest, biting my nipples. "I love
it.

"I'm glad." I dipped my fingertips into the nubby furze at the
base of her skull. "You can let your hair grow out now."

"I like it this way."

"Whatever. I didn't mean-"

"I think I do love you," she said, very softly. "This is kind
of new."

"I love you," I said. "I love you so much."

"Scared?"

"Yes," I said.

"They still out there, Shamey?" she asked. "Go look."

I pulled myself up and walked to the window. It was late;
Ruben and Lester were dragging off the unclaimed. "Yeah," I
said. "Maybe I better try to contact tomorrow."

"We better stay awake," she said. "We might have to make
a speedaway."

"Unless they kill us first," I said.

"They won't," she said. "Come back here. I've got to do
something to keep from fallin' asleep."

"I'm sleepy," I said, climbing back into bed beside her. She
eyed me for a moment, her face shining moonbright. She pushed
me onto my back and climbed aboard, grinding against me, her
strong thighs crushing my hips as she leaned forward.

"Rape me," she said, her hands circling my throat.

We lay like knives, blade to blade; care's nurse
called and we answered. During the eve a new
dream alit me: Avalon and I drifted into the sky
through the hole in the roof, borne gracefully toward
something like heaven; a copter buzzed near,
rousting our apotheosis. I awoke; my eyes unglued. The Serena
had come during the night. Waves of black water baptized us. I
took the high ground; Avalon washed out with the tide.

"O'Malley!" she shouted, hitting the floor. She splashed to a
gentle stop against the wall.

"Rise and shine," I said.

"Those guys still out there?" she asked.

"Fit and ready to play," I said, seeing from the window their
dark car's rain-spattered gleam.

"How many are there?"

"Three," I said, stepping into my trousers.

"Recognize 'em?" she asked, pulling on her sweater.

"Internal security, maybe. Or Home Army. Down from Midtown, likely. It's a big car. "

"How big are they?"

`Very. , f

"Help me get my pants on, Shameless," she said, lying on
136 the floor, lifting her legs. It was but a few minutes before we had
her jeans yanked up so far as her waist. "Gimme the pliers," she
said, sucking in her breath. "In my bag." I passed them to her
before she could turn bluer than her pants. Seizing the clasp with
the pliers, she pulled her zipper shut. I knew that there were
proxies who had the Health Service remove part of their small
intestine during the required ovariotomies so that they might wear
tighter pants, but Avalon had never been so diligent.

"What'll we do?" she asked as I helped her stand.

"Watch them."

"Watch?" she said, peering out. "Look."

I did; three got out of the car and started walking across the
street, as if aiming for our building.

"Rent's due," I said, stepping back.

"Want to meet 'em here?"

"I'd prefer not to meet them at all. We can get out before they
can get up. Come on." I tossed her one of Enid's more subtle
jackets-one of bright magenta leatherette-and I pulled on my
own Krylar model. "Put it on and let's go."

"Where are we going?"

"Out. Follow me. Don't worry."

We stepped into the hall; I heard Lester arguing downstairs.
Suspecting that he and Ruben could detain them long enough, I
locked up, turned and shoved in the door of the apartment across
the hall. Dad had evicted the building's squatters when we moved
in here. The tenants left, this apartment had been locked and had
not been entered-no need-until the moment I broke in. The
rooms were as they had been left when I was still young; only
where some of the ceiling or the walls had caved in was anything
disturbed. Dust and soot lay over the old furniture and on the
floors, several inches deep; the spiderwebs were laced like spun
cotton. The only light that came through the dust-opaqued windows-those left unblocked-was pale yellow-gray.

"Nobody lives in this whole place but you two?"

"Above the first floor," I said. "Ruben and Lester live behind
the club."

"Why'd you pick this place?"

"We inherited the building from our father."

"Why?"

"As an investment."

"He was serious?"

"It was all he had left," I said, "He always said you couldn't
go wrong owning New York real estate."

"What happened to him?"

"I don't know," I said as we came to the apartment's bedroom. The doorknob fell off as I turned it, and I pushed the door
open. "He disappeared one night not long after we moved down
here. Somebody might have pounced him outside. We'll never
know. I don't think he ever got used to things. He was a worldly
man, but it was a different world-" I shattered the window facing the airshaft. Both of us sneezed in the thickened dust as the
falling glass stirred the sediment. The building next door was two
feet away; the window across was already broken out.

"You know where we're going?" she asked as I helped her
across the sill.

"Sure," I said, crawling across. The building over was in excellent shape; there was a floor at every level. Once we reached
the roof we could dash across and clamber down to the next street
over, away from our friends.

We ran up the stairs. When we reached the fifth floor, we stopped
to catch our breath; one apartment lacked a door. We looked in.