Am I Boring My Dog? (22 page)

 

Feed your dog in a crate and keep her toys in it when it’s unlocked and she’ll begin thinking there might be benefits to entering.

You don’t want your dog to think of the crate as a canine Elba. Put it in a family room, kitchen, or other place where you hang out, so your dog doesn’t think he’s being exiled or isolated.

 

Leave your dog in the crate for progressively longer periods of time. Initially, stay in your home while your dog is in his.

 

Yes, your dog may initially bark or whine when you lock her in a crate. Resist the guilt that these sounds will inspire, and give your pup a treat as soon as she calms down. If you simply release her, she’ll think that complaining is the route to getting sprung.

 

No matter how used to the crate your dog is, it’s no substitute for exercise and company. If your dog is sufficiently tired, she won’t need to be confined.

Crates are available in a range of materials, from plastic and wood to wicker, but the most practical are the collapsible wire variety. Not only are these portable, but they can be gussied up to your heart’s desire. Dogs like to have a bit of privacy, so you can drape anything over the enclosures, from old towels or sheets to designer covers with acoustic muting properties—and even get coordinating mats to line the bottom of the doggie den. The only problem with some wire crates is the gap between the bottom and the bars, where a dog could catch his paw. A well-fitted blanket or other lining—which you’ll likely put in anyway, for warmth and comfort—should take care of that.

And before leaving your dog unattended, always remove any collar with tags that could get tangled on the bars. If your dog survives this traumatic experience—she might, in a panic, try to back up and thus cut off her airwaves—she’ll never again consider the crate a refuge.

If you’re talking about having caught your dog yawning, the answer is “I couldn’t say.” As I mentioned in Chapter 6, yawning is often a sign of stress, so your dog might be trying to hint that he needs some space.

Or not. My friend Clare’s dog, Archie, is a master of the fake yawn. Archie knows that barking is frowned upon as an attention-getter, but opening his mouth wide and making noises while pretend-yawning always makes Clare laugh and then do his bidding.

And it’s possible your dog is sleepy.

But just because his yawns don’t reflect on your conversational skills, that doesn’t mean you’re not boring your dog. Most dogs, and especially purebreds, are hard-wired to perform jobs like guarding, herding, and retrieving.
⁶⁸
It was their “will work for food” ethic that got us to share our dinners—and our shelters—with them in the first place. If they’re not allowed to do the work they’re suited for, they get antsy. Which is true of humans, too.

Luckily for them, however, dogs don’t have to worry about taking dead-end jobs to pay the bills. Give them enough—and suitable—exercise,
⁶⁹
and they’ll embrace the freeloading lifestyle.

But meaningful work or a facsimile thereof isn’t the only thing dogs need to stave off boredom. If anything, dogs are more social than we are, and hate being left alone for long periods of time. It doesn’t help that they’re barred from getting library cards and accessing the Internet. See questions 75 and 76 for some absentee entertainment suggestions.

It depends. The goal is to tire your dog out or at least take the edge off her restlessness, as well as keep her trim and fit. Some breeds have far more energy than others—you checked before you got your dog, right?
⁷⁰
—and all have different exercise needs at different life stages. Ask your vet about the best fitness regimen for your dog.

Your pooch will also let you know, one way or the other, if she’s getting enough exercise—perhaps by acting out, or by putting on so much weight that you’ll have to keep loosening the straps on her waist-hugging halter.

She’ll also let you know if she’s getting too much of a work-out. Panting excessively is one sign (be sure to bring along enough water on your outings). Civil disobedience is another. Having decided that a brisk walk we were taking with my friend Kate and her dog, Kukula, was going on a bit too long, Frankie parked his little butt down in a stolid “I prefer not” pose in the middle of the path. Much to my relief—carrying even 11 pounds can be hard after a couple of miles, especially when they’re squirming—Frankie was perfectly fine to walk back on his own four legs. He just wanted to let us know that if we were to proceed any farther, he couldn’t guarantee his continuing participation. I wish I were as good at enforcing my limits.

Few humans are capable of keeping up with large, high-energy dogs. This is where props—everything from Frisbees and treadmills to tennis-ball pitching machines—come in. Again, every dog has different interests and capabilities; some like to fetch, others to swim, still others to run with a dog park pack. You just need to figure out what works with your dog’s drives, social skills—and size. For example, some large dogs may swallow, rather than retrieve, tennis balls.
⁷¹

Let physics be your friend, too. If you stand or sit at the top of an incline and toss a stick down it, your dog will burn more calories than if you perform the same ritual on a flat surface.

And don’t forget that, in an off-leash area (or with a very long leash), dog hikes and walks are far longer than human walks. A key theorem of dog math is that for every mile you walk, your dog will cover three or four. This includes the constant returns to show you something disgusting she’s picked up or to check that you’re still around and on the move before ambling off again to continue her investigations.

Mental exercise is also essential for most breeds—and you don’t have to be in shape to provide it. All you need is patience, a sense of fun, and intelligence equal to or above that of your dog.
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There are training sessions, for one thing; you might try to teach your dog a new word or trick every day in two or three five-minute sessions. And there are simple games. My friend Jennifer plays hide and seek with her Pit Bull, Beau, and other people I know make their dogs search for treats strategically placed around the house.

And, naturally, you can buy educational toys. In addition to the playthings mentioned in the “Toys” section of question 75, which can safely occupy your dogs while you’re away, toys that challenge your dog’s mind but require supervision include the soft Puzzle Plush playthings made by Kyjen (
www.kyjen.com
) and the (mostly) wooden toys in the Zoo Active line by Nina Ottosson (
www.nina-ottosson.com
).

Only if you want a second dog. Another dog math theorem is that taking care of two dogs requires more than twice the effort of taking care of one, not half. After that, the amount of labor involved increases exponentially, requiring advanced canine algebra to calculate.

And there’s no guarantee that the two dogs will get along, your matchmaking efforts notwithstanding. Even if they seem well suited initially, things change. My friend Barbara’s two dogs were great friends until Lucy got sick and couldn’t play with her pal Halo for a while. After Lucy recovered, Halo declined to resume their relationship, perhaps on the once-snubbed principle. And two dogs in my neighborhood that are left out in their yard all day bark in a cacophony of distress, their misery unmitigated by company.

If you crave canine diversity or want to rescue another dog, more power to you. And your first dog may well be grateful. But if you’re primarily motivated by guilt (always tops on my motivation list), divert the extra money you’d spend on food, vet care, and training to some of the pet entertainment possibilities described in the next two questions.

Avoiding boredom is crucial for both your dog’s well-being and yours. Ennui—not to mention existential angst—might make a dog run around the house chewing stuff up, or it might inspire him to try to escape, convinced you’re out there somewhere, ready to entertain him, if only he could find you.

Alternatively, boredom could cause your dog to sleep excessively and mope. Although depression doesn’t cost nearly as much as destruction, it is more heart-wrenching. When you’re not angry at your pup for wrecking the house, you’re open to feeling really, really bad that he’s unhappy.

Give your pooch as much exercise as possible before you leave for the day, and avoid making a big exit scene. If you act as though going to work is no big deal, your dog will often respond in kind.

Some possibilities for keeping your dog happy include the following.

Leaving the radio, TV, DVD, or CD player on all day may not be energy efficient but if it cheers up your destructive pup, it will definitely be cost effective.

 

Dogs are never asked to take part in Nielson media surveys and, as far as I know, no studies have been conducted to determine canine TV preferences. Nor has cable or network programming been geared toward dogs. Animal Planet would seem an obvious channel choice but many dogs, including Frankie, are simply not interested in the shows.
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Others try to attack the TV to get at the creatures inside. And still others take a moral stand, preferring only commercial-free broadcasting.

No worries. Several DVDs have been geared toward your pup’s viewing pleasure. They include
While You Are Gone,
compiled by Bradley Joseph,
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featuring deer, ducks, geese, and wolves. It’s well reviewed on its distributor’s site,
Amazon.com
.
Doggy Daycare DVD,
put out by Off the Wall Entertainment (O.T.W.E.;
www.otwe.biz
), highlights the Puppy Cup, a soccer match between two teams of Golden Retrievers. Go Dog’s
Dog Sitter II
—the sequel, of course, to the ever-popular
Dog Sitter
—includes some obedience training clips and sequences of dogs doing incredible tricks to inspire (or shame) your pup.

Based on observations at many animal shelters and clinics, music does indeed soothe the savage breast
.
What kind? According to Susan Wagner, a veterinary neurologist, dogs like slow tempos and not a lot of complexity in their compositions. Because they hear at such high frequencies, they also prefer quiet sounds, so
Through a Dog’s Ear
(
www.throughadogsear.com
), the CD that Wagner produced and sells in conjunction with her book on the topic, should be played at a low volume. Of course, no one would blast
Canine Lullabies
(
www.caninelullabies.com
), created by former songwriter and record producer Terry Woodford, who discovered that what was effective for calming human babies also worked on the furry variety. The reverse holds true, too, according to assertions on Amazon that
Dog Gone Classical Music: Mozart
makes babies mellow out. Also favorably reviewed are the
Music Dogs Love: While You Are Gone CD,
a companion to the DVD (see the previous section); and
Music My Pet,
a classical mix created by Tom Nazziola, the principal performer on Baby Einstein CDs and DVDs.