Always You (46 page)

He laughed quietly. “Hmm, I definitely like masterful Riley,” he teased.

“Stop it Clay, I’m serious. If I only ask one thing from you in my life, it’s that you come back to me. I need you to promise me, promise me you’ll survive this. I need to hear you say it and then I can stop worrying because you’ve never broken a promise to me before, so I have a lot of faith in your word.” I gripped the front of the hospital gown he was wearing, I needed him to tell me that so much, my whole body was on edge waiting for it.

He smiled and nodded, his hand moving up to cup the side of my face. “I’ll be fine, I promise,” he whispered, his eyes locked on mine and held a fierce intensity that made my heart start to speed up.

I smiled and pressed my lips to his again lightly for a couple of seconds before putting my forehead to his, just enjoying being close to him.

Half an hour later they were ready for him to go down to theater. I held his hand as they walked him down the little corridor, his fingers gripping mine so tight that I was almost losing feeling in them, but somehow it still didn’t feel tight enough. When we got to the door, they stopped pushing the bed and looked at me expectantly and I knew I wasn’t allowed any further with him.

I could feel the panic starting to rise in my chest that he was going to be out of my sight for so long. I looked at Dr Kirk, looking him over trying to see any doubt in his mind, to see if he was going to be able to save my baby and bring him back to me. He smiled and nodded reassuringly and I begged him with my eyes to keep Clay alive, it felt like this man was holding my whole life in his hands, my hopes, my dreams, my whole future. 

I looked back to Clay, he smiled weakly but he was just as scared as I was. I took in a deep breath and pushed my shoulders back knowing I needed to show confidence, even if I didn’t feel it. “I’ll see you when you get out. Don’t think you’re getting out of marrying me again buster, you know I never liked the surname Thomas so I’m sticking with Preston. You make sure you hurry up and get better so we can go straight to the nearest church and get married again, you hear me?” I asked, raising one eyebrow trying to look stern.

He laughed quietly, “Whatever you say, Riley bear.”

I kissed him softly, savouring the feel of his lips and I prayed that this wasn’t the last time I got to speak to him, that this wasn’t the last kiss we ever had. “I love you Clay,” I said, brushing my hand down the side of his bruised face.

He smiled his beautiful smile and gripped the back of my head, pulling me closer to him as if he was going to whisper in my ear. With his other hand he gripped my chin and turned my head to the side. Before I even had a chance to work out what he was doing, he sucked on the side of my neck, hard. I giggled and he pushed me away slightly, a big smile on his face.

“Just marking my territory,” he stated as I rubbed the freshly made hicky on my neck, trying to pretend I was angry but I couldn’t keep the smile off of my face.

The doctor cleared his throat and I pulled back and stood up, smiling down at Clay as they pushed the doors open and wheeled his bed down the corridor. Just as the doors were about to close, Clay shouted me. “Riley?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you more,” he said fiercely. My heart throbbed and the doors to the corridor slammed shut leaving me on my own, staring at the place where I last saw the love of my life. I couldn’t stay strong anymore, I sank to my knees and sobbed into the floor.

The six hours were like physical pain, I felt like I was sitting balanced on the edge of a cliff, one wrong move and I would go tumbling over into a living hell. My parents and Clay’s were sitting in the waiting room with me, no one really said anything and I was grateful that I didn’t have to put on some sort of act for them. I just didn’t have the energy anymore, I was so tired that my head was throbbing, my eyes were stinging. While everyone else dozed in their chairs, I kept my eyes locked on the doors where he would come out of, willing the minutes to pass quicker.

Just after ten pm the doctor walked out of the door, his eyes locked first on Linda and then on me. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t move, this was it, his next couple of words would shape the rest of my life, either Clay survived the surgery or he didn’t. At this point I couldn’t bring myself to care about if the operation had worked, all I needed was Clay by my side, however he came I didn’t mind, just as long as I still had him.

The doctor walked up to our group, everyone else jumped out of their chairs but I couldn’t, if I stood up now I would fall to the floor, I could feel it. The doctor smiled and nodded, “It went very well. He’s in recovery right now, there’s a lot of swelling so we won’t know how successful it was until that’s gone down, but the early indications are that there’s a good chance of success,” he said.

Richard grabbed Linda into a hug, Brian slapped the doctor on the shoulder laughing and my mom looked at me, grinning from ear to ear. I closed my eyes and breathed a sigh of relief, my tired, aching muscles relaxing slightly. “He’s ok?” I croaked. My heart was racing in my chest, my whole body was tingling slightly, it was over, Clay was alive. We had a little while to wait to see if it had worked but he was alive and that was all that mattered to me.

“He’s ok,” Dr Kirk confirmed. “He’s strong, he’ll be out of it for a little while until the anesthetic leaves his body, maybe an hour or two. When he wakes up it’s best to keep him as calm as possible. The surgery was very invasive, he needs to relax and let his body recover. Tomorrow we’ll run some tests and see how successful it was.”

I gripped the arms of the chair and pushed myself up, immediately being grabbed into a hug by my mom. “But you think it went well? The surgery I mean?” I asked hopefully.

He nodded, “It went without a hitch, we just need to see how his body reacts to the repair now. I’d better go, they’ll bring him out soon and move him back to his room.”

“Thank you, thank you so much,” I whispered, looking at him gratefully. How would I ever repay this man that has hopefully saved my baby from a life that he’ll be miserable in?

“You’re welcome Mrs Preston,” he said smiling, before walking away towards the nurses station.

I laughed at the name, at least he was acknowledging our marriage. I gripped my wedding ring tight in my hand and turned to Linda and Richard. I needed to get this sorted out before Clay woke up, I needed to keep him calm and seeing his parents wouldn’t really do that at the moment.

“I think it’s best that you just stay away for a little while. I’ll talk to Clay tomorrow, but the doctor said he needed to rest. I don’t want him upset again, so just let me talk to him before you see him, ok?” I asked, praying I wouldn’t have another fight on my hands about this, I really didn’t have the energy for that right now.

Richard nodded, “Yeah. Thank you, Riley. We were only trying to do what’s best for him. I hope in time he sees that.”

I didn’t really know what to say about that, they were doing what was best for them, not Clay, but again, I couldn’t get into that argument with them right now. “I’ll talk to him, maybe you should go home. I’ll call you if there’s any changes,” I said, rubbing and my temples trying to relieve the pounding in my head. I hadn’t slept for over 38 hours and wow did I feel it kicking in now.

Linda pushed herself away from Richard and wrapped me in a hug, but I couldn’t hug her back. The best she could expect from me was that I didn’t push her away, in my eyes that was more than she deserved. “I’m so sorry. I should have listened to you, he wanted the surgery, I should have listened!” she wailed, her fingers digging in my back where she was hugging me so tightly.

I nodded, “Yeah,” I confirmed. I swallowed my angry retort, I’d already said my piece to her, they would both probably suffer the consequences of it now, Clay really knew how to hold a grudge when he wanted to. There was a good chance that he wouldn’t want to see his parents again, I guess I was the only chance they had right now and to be honest I didn’t feel very charitable towards them at that precise moment. “You should go home before he comes out.”

Finally, after what felt like forever, they wheeled Clay out of the operating suites and back into the same room he was in before. He had even more tubes and wires sticking out of him this time, his face pale but yet strangely peaceful as he lay in the bed. My parents weren’t allowed into his room because visiting hours were over, so I pulled the chair up by the side of the bed again and held his hand.

When he finally groaned and opened his eyes I smiled and leant over to him. “Hi, thanks for not breaking your promise,” I whispered, looking at him gratefully. He smiled weakly, pulling the little oxygen mask off of his face. He tried to speak but all that came out was a croaking sound, probably from the tubes he’d had down his throat from the surgery. “Shh baby, everything went good they said. You just need to relax and rest, and tomorrow they’ll run some tests to see how it went. Just get some sleep for me, ok? I’ll be right here all night,” I said, squeezing his hand as I kissed his forehead.

He smiled and closed his eyes, I don’t think he really had a choice, he looked exhausted. “You sleep too, Riley bear,” he croaked, his voice barely above a whisper.

I smiled and nodded, “I will baby, I’ll see you in the morning.” I kissed his hand and rested my chin on the side of his bed, I felt sleep coming to take me and I couldn’t fight it anymore. Tomorrow was going to be another long day, either everything would go as planned, or it wouldn’t. Either way, we had a lot of work to do to get Clay over this, this was far from over for either of us.

I woke in the morning and could barely move, I groaned and lifted my head from the side of Clay’s bed, rubbing my aching neck. My back seemed to pop as I sat up, I don’t really think it was a good idea to sleep bent over leaning on the bed!

My eyes immediately found Clay, he was awake and just staring at me, a small sad smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. “Hey,” he whispered.

“Hi, why didn’t you wake me if you were awake?” I asked, rubbing my hand up his arm and trying to stifle a yawn. My whole body was hurting and aching, my eyes were still stinging and I could do with another few hours sleep at least.

He stroked the side of my face, “You know I like to watch you sleep,” he said quietly.

I laughed and turned my head to kiss his hand. “I know pervert, but I would have much rather you have woken me up so I could have talked to you. I’ve missed you, you were asleep for a long time you know,” I scolded playfully. He smiled but didn’t say anything, his eyes were tighter than normal, his face so defeated and sad. I swallowed loudly, “What’s wrong, Clay?” I whispered.

“I can’t feel my legs,” he replied, looking away from me.

I felt my heart sink, had it not worked? Had he gone through all of that pain for nothing? Had he risked his life and nothing had changed? “Clay, lets just wait for the Doctor, ok? He said they needed to wait a while before doing the tests. Maybe the swelling hasn’t gone down yet, maybe you need more time to get over the surgery, it’s only been a few hours,” I said, trying to keep my voice level and devoid of any emotion.

He nodded but he didn’t look like he believed me. “Yeah I guess.”

“Please baby, just don’t start stressing about it yet. Lets just let the Doctor do his thing and do the tests when you’re ready to do them, ok?” I begged. “You could be working yourself up into a state for nothing, please Clay, the Doctor said you needed to stay calm and rest.”

He nodded and squeezed my hand, putting on a fake smile and looking back to me. “Yeah ok.” He sighed and looked over my face slowly. “You still look tired Riley bear, you should sleep some more.”

I kissed his hand and shook my head, “If you’re awake then I’m awake.”

“Riley, what if it doesn’t work and I can’t walk anymore? What do I do then?” he whispered, he looked like he was a couple of seconds from completely breaking down and it was scaring me a little. Clay was always so strong, he was always the one in control and looking after me, and right now the roles had completely reversed for the first time ever.

“We’ll deal with that if it happens. Let’s just not think about it right now, ok? What’s the point in worrying about something that won’t even happen?” I asked, trying to sound positive.

He closed his eyes and pulled on my hand, “Come lay with me for a little while. You should go back to sleep, you look like hell, Riley bear.”

I laughed and tried to look offended, “That’s not the way to talk to the girl you’re in love with, Clay. If you’re trying to get in my pants then you’re going about it all wrong,” I teased, as I climbed on the bed carefully. I laid along his side, barely touching him and staying as still as possible.

“I might not be able to do that again, Riley, did you think about that?” he snapped.

I frowned at his anger but didn’t say anything, I wasn’t sure what I could say to make him feel better, so I just put my arm across his chest and kissed his shoulder. He hardly ever shouted at me or anything, so he must be really upset to be doing it now. If he needed someone to shout at and get his anger out on then I could be that person for him, I’d be anything he needed me to be.    

After another hour, of us just laying in silence, the Doctor came in to do his rounds. He smiled as he walked in and I pushed myself up out of the bed, barely able to breathe. Was this it, was he going to do the tests now? I stood back as he looked at Clay’s IV, detaching him from all of the tubes and wires. He checked his eyes and his catheter before he smiled and came back up to the side of the bed.

“Ok, so the operation went well Clay. I’m hopeful that there should be a marked improvement, I was able to repair everything that I could see. What I’m going to do is send you down for an MRI scan now and then when you’re back I’ll do a couple of physical tests,” he said. A nurse walked in with a couple of orderlies and went to the head of Clay’s bed.

“Can I go with him?” I asked, not wanting Clay out of my sight for a second more than necessary.

“Sure, you can go to the waiting room with him, but you won’t be allowed in the room while they do it.” The doctor smiled and nodded, and the two orderlies started pushing the bed out of the room. I ran to catch up with it and held Clay’s hand as we went down the endless hallways. I kissed him lightly when we got there and he was wheeled into another room.