Always True to Her (Emerson Book 2) (11 page)

“Papa?”

He turned to his daughter and felt guilty for even
having those thoughts in her presence. “Yes, poppet?”

“Are we going home to see Letty?”

“You mean to Uncle Colin’s house?” The last thing
James wanted was for Anna to start thinking of Ridgeway Manor as home.

“Yes. Home.”

“Do you miss your Aunt Leticia?” asked Irene, as she
adjusted one of Anna’s scarves.

The little girl nodded. “Are you coming to see
Letty with us?”

“Uh, well, I do not believe so,” said Irene, with a
glance at James. “I am just going to help your papa with something.”

“Oh,” said Anna. “Then will you come see Letty
after that?”

“I do not believe so,” said Irene gently.

“I wish you would.”

“Miss Wallace cannot be gone too long, poppet. Her
papa and grandmama would worry.”

“Oh,” said Anna again. “Papa, do you think Miss
Wallace could come to America with us? If we tell her papa and grandmama they
won’t worry where she is.”

James had unfortunately chosen that moment to take a
sip of cider. He was now coughing up most of it. “I do not believe Miss
Wallace wants to go to America.”

Anna turned her penetrating gaze to Irene. “Don’t
you like us?”

“Of course, I do. It isn’t that at all. But that’s
your home and my home is in London.”

“Why?”

“You were born in America and I was born in
England.”

“Why?”

“That is where your mama and papa were living.
While mine were in England.”

“Why?”

“Anna,” said James, who decided to have mercy on
Irene, since he’d been the subject of Anna’s why questions at one point or
another. “Why don’t you tell Irene about America? Tell her what your life was
like there.”

Anna thought about it for a moment, then said
quietly. “
Nimaamaa
died.”

James was surprised. Anna rarely spoke of her
mother. She’d been so brave while Alawa was dying. She’d wept at her passing,
but rarely spoke of it. It wasn’t her way. “Her mother,” James said softly
to Irene.

“I am so sorry, Anna,” said Irene. “That must have
been terrible.”

Anna nodded, then looked out the window, as if lost
in thought. “I loved her.”

“Of course you did. And I’m sure she loved you,
too.”

Anna turned to her, surprised. “How do you know?”

“I am certain of it,” said Irene. And it appeared
to James that she was on the verge of tears. “How could she not love you? You
are everything a mother could want in a daughter.”

For a moment, James wasn’t sure if Anna would cry.
Hell. He wasn’t sure if he would cry. But Anna nodded slowly, then looked out
the window again. James took out two handkerchiefs. He handed one to Anna.
He gave the other to Irene, who took it and dabbed at her eyes. He wished he
had a third for himself. But, really, who would have thought he’d require
three of them? Was this how it was for a married man with a child?

Not that he was a married man. But…was it?

And that was how they spent the first hour of their
journey.

James was beginning to fear what the rest would be
like.

Two hours into the trip, Anna had fallen asleep
against Irene. She laid the girl out on the seat, letting her use her lap for
a pillow. As Irene tucked a blanket around her, she became aware of James’s
disquieting stare. A stare she shouldn’t think too much about.

“Tell me about your farm,” she said to him.

He leaned back against the cushion. “How much time
do you have?”

“I believe, sir, that I have all the way to
Portsmouth. What makes this land so important that you would cross an ocean to
save it?”

“The farm is not that important. But Anna is. I
would fly to the moon and back if I could give her a good future. But since
you ask, I have forty acres in Bucks County, north of Philadelphia. It is
fertile earth and I am told tobacco would grow well there.”

Irene wrinkled her nose. “You cannot feed a family
on tobacco.”

“But you can buy what you need from selling it. I
would also have a plot to grow my own vegetables. I was even going to buy a
cow.”

“And what were you going to do with this cow?” asked
Irene, barely refraining from laughing.

“I was going to milk it, of course,” said James,
with a languid smile. “I would take the teets in my hands and squeeze firmly,
but gently. Alternating the rhythm, gaining her trust. I would make it a
ritual. Every day, early in the morning.”

“Every day?” asked Irene, who was incredibly warm,
despite the frigid weather.

“As soon as I rose,” said James, with heavy lids.

“Lord James!” admonished Irene. “Anna is here.”

“She is asleep.”

“Be that as it may, your cow….milking….activities
are hardly a suitable topic of conversation for mixed company.”

“Would you like to hear about my plans for the
bull?”

“Not in the least!”

“Very well, though you are taking much of the fun
out of what promises to be a long day of travel. I would raise as much food as
possible, but there is a town half an hour away where I could buy provisions.
We would not starve, Miss Wallace.” Then, lest she misunderstood to whom he
was referring, he added “Anna and me.”

“I knew you meant Anna and yourself.” She tucked
the blanket around Anna again. “What of your house? What does it look like?”

“Well, there isn’t exactly a house there, Miss
Wallace.”

“And what does that mean?”

“I was planning to build a house.”

“In the dead of winter. With a young girl in your
care.”

“Before I learned about Anna, I was living in a
rudimentary structure, barely larger than this carriage. After retrieving her,
I was planning on spending the rest of the winter in Philadelphia, then
building the house at last frost.”

“And just what were you planning on doing with Anna
while you were building the house?”

“Are you a budding journalist, Miss Wallace? Is
that why you are interviewing me with such zeal?”

“I am doing no such thing. I am only trying to get
an idea of what is at stake in America.”

“I will be the first to admit that my farm is more
of an idea right now that an actual place. But do you believe a modest dream
has no merit?”

“On the contrary, I can see how it would be a dream
very much worth preserving. Tell me of the house you will build.”

“For your article?” he asked with a slight smile.

“Hush. Tell me about it.”

“Well, originally, it was just going to be one large
room. It’s easier to heat that way. I was going to have a cot for myself,
with a smaller one next to me for Anna. I had a small table and two chairs, a
wash basin, a cutting board and a bucket for the well. I also had two quilts,
which I brought back to England with me. One of them is Anna’s and was made by
her mother.” He said that last part quietly, because he didn’t want to awaken
his daughter.

“Why do you think she asked if her mother loved
her?”

“I do not know. I know little of their relationship
other than what I saw at the end when Alawa was ill. I believe she loved Anna,
though she was not a demonstrative woman by nature. I do know poor Anna had
been ostracized by most members of the tribe. I hate thinking of the pain I
caused my daughter. I should have been certain that there had been
no…consequences…to my affair with Alawa before leaving.”

“That may be true, but I do believe that had you
known of her being with child you would have stayed. Or somehow provided for
them.”

“You put a good deal of faith in the existence of my
better qualities, Miss Wallace.”

“I do, don’t I?” She studied him for a moment, then
she looked down at Anna to ensure she was still sleeping. “Did you love her?
Miss Alawa?”

“No,” he said quietly. “At least not the way you
mean. I liked her very much. And when she sent for me and I learned how well
she’d cared for Anna, I did love her in the way of a good friend. But at the
time of our affair, we were simply a means to stem the loneliness for each
other. Now, I am afraid I have lost some of your esteem, which saddens me more
than I like.”

She shook her head. “I appreciate your honesty.
And I know enough of the world to realize that men and women can have affairs
without a deep and abiding love.”

“Often times they work out better that way. Love is
an odd thing, Miss Wallace. It tends to cloud the senses, in much the same way
as over-indulging in drink. And the aftermath can be just as brutal. When it
comes to affairs, it is often preferable to merely like one’s partner. I’ve
even had occasion to enjoy myself when the lady and I disliked each other. In
fact….”

“Yes, yes, yes, Lord James. I take your meaning.
No need to regale me with the scores of women you have
liaised
with.”

“I did not realize I’d ever been sophisticated
enough to
liaise
with anyone. What about you, Miss Wallace? Have you
ever been tempted to get good and
liaised?
”

“Certainly not!”

“No need to go all missish on me, like the proper
governess you are attempting to imitate. I only asked if you’d ever been
‘tempted.’ Not if you’d actually succumbed.”

“I have never done either.”

His gaze dropped to her lips. “Have you ever been
kissed, Miss Wallace?”

“You shouldn’t ask such a thing.”

“No, I shouldn’t. Have you?”

“Once,” she said.

“What was it like? And don’t tell me I’m being
improper for asking when in fact you are the one at fault for answering my
questions. I cannot be blamed if I don’t like hearing only part of a story.”

“I daresay you can be blamed for many things, Lord
James. If it will stop this line of questioning, I shall answer. I was kissed
once in the moonlight, on the terrace at a ball.”

He frowned and, to Irene’s great consternation, she
found it flattering.

“I can’t imagine the dragon liked that very much,”
he said.

“The drag-, er, Grandmama, did not find out. Nor
does she know to this very day, so I would appreciate it if you would not
mention the matter.”

“I will try to avoid the subject during my next
conversation about love with the dowager. Who was it?”

“That is really none of your concern.”

“I don’t like half a story, Miss Wallace.”

She sighed. “Very well. It was Lord Clayton.”

“That bastard!” James sat up straight in his seat.
“I’ll call him out!”

“Hush!” said Irene. “You’ll wake Anna!” She leaned
over to check on the girl, who seemed to be sleeping unusually soundly.

“Clayton is a scoundrel! He took advantage of you.”

“He did no such thing. He is guilty of nothing
other than, well, we shan’t speak of it.”

“Oh yes we shall! What is he guilty of?” James all
but bellowed, even as he was trying to keep his voice down. “I know he forces
his servants to work in the worst conditions and he tried to seduce Colin’s
wife Ava when she worked for him.”

“I am very sorry to hear that. And I am glad she is
away from his household.”

“Our cook Maude also worked for him and had nothing
good to say about the man.”

“I am sorry both ladies had bad experiences. At the
time, I knew nothing of Clayton other than he was amiable and wore his evening
clothes well.”

James scowled. “Just because a man is in possession
of evening clothes, it does not make him a gentleman. What was he guilty of?
Because I will not hesitate to turn this carriage around and punish him for his
infraction. Any infraction. I already know enough of his sins to warrant a
detour.”

He reached up to knock on the ceiling to get the
driver’s attention. Irene caught his arm just in time to avoid it.

“There is no need for that, my lord.”

“Yet there will be a certain joy in planting the man
a facer – or worse.”

“Might I remind you we are on a schedule and time is
of the essence?”

He scowled, but refrained from contacting the
driver. He was, however, still in possession of her hand. He turned it to
kiss her wrist, which started a firestorm of sensation. The wretch seemed to
know what was coursing through her because after he finally did release her
hand, he sat back with a satisfied grin. “So what was he guilty of?”

“Being a bad kisser. Well, I do not know if he was
a bad kisser, as I had nothing to compare him to. I still don’t. For all I
know, kissing is a most overrated activity and Lord Clayton is superb at it.”

“I guarantee he is not.”

“How can you know? Have you kissed him?”

“Do you want me to turn this carriage around?”

“No,” she said, giggling.

“I know Clayton is not any good at kissing because
of the way you felt afterward.”

“How should I have felt?”

“As if the world stopped turning for a moment, then
began spinning again at twice its speed.”

“You’re being quite fanciful.”

“I am only telling the truth. And if you allow me
to kiss you I will prove it.”

He wanted to kiss her?
Irene didn’t know about the earth coming to a standstill, but just the very
thought of James kissing her seemed to suck the air from the coach. Her mouth
was dry, but her palms were sweaty. She felt robbed of her wits.

“You cannot kiss me. Anna is on my lap.”

“I’m not kissing your lap…yet.”

Now the rake looked especially proud of himself,
though Irene did not quite understand what he meant. He gently picked up his
daughter and moved her to his seat. He tucked the blanket around her, then
moved to the opposite seat next to Irene.

“You look like a cat about to pounce,” she said.

“I am not a cat. And I don’t often pounce,” he
said, as he leaned closer to her. He removed her glasses.

“Wh-what are you doing?” she whispered.

“Giving you something to compare Clayton to.”

“That is completely unnecessary,” she breathed, as
he brought her closer to him.

“On the contrary. I cannot allow you to be thinking
of Clayton’s abysmal efforts…”

“I did not say they were abysmal. I said
disappointing.”

“They were abysmal, I am certain of it.”

She was leaning into him and her tongue nervously
darted out to wet her lips. The movement caught his attention, making him look
even more determined, though he hadn’t looked at all lackadaisical in his
mission up to that point. But instead of bringing her lips to his, he kissed
first one eyelid and then the other.

It was the most exquisite sensation Irene had ever
felt, sending shivers racing through her. “Is that allowed?” she asked.

“Oh, yes.” He trailed kisses down her cheeks,
alternating one side with the other. Finally, he reached her lips.

Her breathing was shallow. She was rather surprised
to realize his was, too.

He pressed his lips to hers, firmly, but gently.
Once, twice, then he licked the seam until she opened.

He took advantage of her surprise to explore her
mouth. To touch his tongue to hers. She’d never known anything like it. She
was overwhelmed by feeling, unsure how to proceed but not wanting it to stop.

She tentatively reached out to touch his shoulder
first with one hand and then the other. She could feel his surprise in the way
he stiffened for an instant before pulling her closer to him. She was afraid
he would break the kiss. But, mercifully, he only deepened it.

She settled in to enjoy it.

*

James couldn’t believe the sensations that raced
through his body with such a simple touch. But then nothing about this kiss
was simple or ordinary. It was as if everything was new again. As if this
kiss was an example to him instead of to her.