Always on My Mind (19 page)

She started at his tone, and the hardness of his gaze that had been so full of hunger just seconds before, and was opening her mouth on a sarcastic retort when she remembered what she couldn’t believe she’d almost forgotten: he’d lost his wife in a car crash. No wonder he was so adamant about her putting her seatbelt on, even in the wake of what they’d just been doing with one another.

With trembling hands, she snapped her seatbelt into place, at which point Grayson pushed the gas pedal down hard enough that gravel sprayed out from his tires.

* * *

Minutes felt more like hours as Grayson forced himself to take the dark farm roads just barely above the speed limit. And then—
finally!
—he was pulling into his drive.

Lori was about to jump out onto the gravel when he caught her in his arms. “You left your shoes at the dance.”

“You had no problem with me walking around in bare feet on the gravel before,” she reminded him.

He nuzzled her cheek and breathed in her sweet, wild, oh-so-feminine scent. “That was before I liked you.” Grayson was stepping on his porch and was about to kiss her again when he realized she was pushing at his chest.

“I think all the excitement has made my ears go wonky,” she declared. “What did you just say?”

God, he could hardly think at all with her soft and warm in his arms, his long-sleeved shirt falling open over her beautiful breasts. He kicked his front door open and tried to remember, but all he could come up with was, “I don’t want you tearing up your feet on the gravel.”

“No,” she said, “after that.”

He’d had so many fantasies of Lori naked and begging for him to take her here in his bedroom, that as he carried her into it, her question was instantly forgotten. He laid her down on the covers, pulled the shirt he’d given her to wear in the truck all the way open, and slid it from her body.

Sweet Lord, he wanted to start all over from the beginning, wanted to make her come another three times with his hands, his mouth.

Just as he was lowering his mouth to her breasts, she said, “Did you even mean it?”

Reluctantly moving his mouth away from her chest, he cupped her breasts in his hands and teased the nipples with his thumb and forefinger instead until they were sharply aroused points. “Did I mean what?”

Now she was the one losing hold of their conversation. “That—” She arched deeper into his hands. “You—”

He took advantage of her confusion to lick across one tip and then the other, loving the way she gasped with pleasure as he tasted her. He was just sliding one hand down her flat stomach to the bare, slick flesh between her legs, when she finally got all the words out.

“You said you
liked
me, Grayson.”

Again, it took him longer than it should have for her words to actually make it all the way through to his brain. Especially when he had his hand cupped over her sex and he could feel how wet, how ready she was for him.

But when he lifted his gaze to hers, and he saw the surprising vulnerability in them, he finally understood what she was asking: Was he just making love to her tonight because he wanted her body?

Or had they, against all odds, developed a deeper connection than that?

Grayson knew he shouldn’t have let her stay on his farm all week, and that he definitely shouldn’t be taking her to his bed now. He also knew that he should be working overtime to keep tonight to nothing but sex.

But knowing all those things hadn’t made a damn bit of difference so far, had they?

“I do like you, Lori,” he admitted in a low voice. “More than I should.”

“I like you, too,” she whispered as she reached out to gently touch his face. “More than you know.”

Her eyes were full of such sweet emotion that his heart stuttered in his chest.

For three years he’d sworn to himself that nothing—and no one—would ever touch him again. But he’d never counted on Lori Sullivan blowing past every wall, every fortress in less than one week.

And it scared the hell out of him.

Chapter Eighteen

Grayson knew what he needed to do. He needed to stop them from going any further, just as he had in the cottage. He needed to turn his back not only on desire, but on affection as well. Because while he hadn’t been a monk these past three years, there hadn’t been any risk at all of emotional connection with the women he’d slept with.

But with Lori,
everything
was at risk.

“Grayson.”

His name on her lips had him refocusing on her, and when he did, he was surprised to find her smiling as she gazed back at him. He could still see desire in her beautiful eyes, but more than that, he realized there was understanding.

Understanding he’d done nothing whatsoever to deserve.

“One night. That’s all you have to give me.” She leaned in close, as if to tell him a secret. “And I won’t tell anyone that you like me, if you don’t tell anyone that I like you, too.”

With that, she drew him back down over her so that she could give him one hot, sweet little kiss after another, each one of them made to confuse and inflame and drive his demons back down. Soon they were tangled up in each other again, his hands greedily filling themselves with her sleek curves, her sighs of pleasure sounding out against his mouth as he stroked over her breasts, her hips.

Grayson wanted nothing more than to hear, to feel her come apart again in his arms, but before he could take her over yet another peak with his hands and mouth, she moved so quickly, and with such remarkable strength, that the next thing he knew, he was lying on his back with Lori straddling him.

“Next time I come,” she informed him in a no-nonsense voice, “you’re going to be inside me. Or else.”

Hell, those beautifully filthy words coming out of her pretty mouth were almost enough to finish things off for him right then and there, but of course she had to make things even more touch-and-go by reaching for his belt buckle and brushing her fingertips over his raging hard-on.

“There’s nothing you like more than torturing me, is there?” he asked as he shoved her hands aside to yank his jeans and boxers off himself.

“Actually,” she said as she stared at his erection with wide eyes, “there’s one thing I think I’m going to like a whole lot more than that.”

Before he could prepare for it, she reached out and wrapped her hand around him. His loud groan reverberated off his bedroom walls.

“Lori—”

“You had your fun with me, now I’m going to have mine with you.”

Naughty
didn’t even come close to the way she looked as she licked her lips greedily and moved her hand down, then back up the length of him. And maybe he would have gritted his teeth and let her have her fun a while longer if she hadn’t shifted just then so that the tips of her long, dark hair tickled his chest and he could feel her warm breath coming down over him.

“Time for you to come again, farm girl,” he said as he yanked her back up his body. “So if you want to make good on your threat, you’d better grab one of the condoms out of my bedside table.”

“God, you’re bossy,” she said, but she’d never looked happier about his bossiness than she did when she leaned over to pull out the box of condoms. “You’ve never opened the box.” She frowned as she caught sight of the date stamped on it. “These expire next month. When’s the last time you had sex?”

“It should have been twenty minutes ago in my truck,” he growled as he grabbed the box out of her hands and ripped it open, sending condoms flying everywhere. Grabbing the nearest one, he had it on in seconds. “Now be quiet, and get over here.”

She was half-laughing, half-scowling as he lifted her back over his hips, but as soon as he began to slide inside, her eyes fluttered closed and she gave a low moan of pleasure.

He held tight to her hips so she wouldn’t move too fast—at least, not this first time, when he wanted to memorize every single sensation. How warm and wet and ready she was. How she fit him as though she’d been made for him.

“Please,” she begged him, his strong, dancing farm girl entirely lost to sensation. To need. “Please. Please.
Please.
”

Needing her just as much as she needed him, Grayson reached up to thread his fingers into her hair and pull her mouth down to his at the same moment that he flipped them over so that her back was pressed flat against his sheets. With one hard stroke, he thrust all the way inside, and as her inner muscles clenched tight around him, he completely forgot every one of his vows about holding back.

All that mattered—as he pulled her tightly to him and she held him just as close while they drove each other even higher and further—was loving Lori.

And letting her love him, too.

* * *

Grayson was crushing her, but Lori didn’t care if her lungs collapsed from trying to breathe with two hundred pounds of pure muscle pressing her deep into the mattress.

She’d never felt so good in all her life.

From almost-truck-sex to completely messing up his sheets, Grayson had totally rocked her sensual world to pieces. Here she’d thought she was a connoisseur of sex, but none of her previous lovers had made her come so fast, so hard, or so repeatedly. Heck, just lying here beneath him, she was practically on the verge again.

Only, making love with Grayson had been about so much more than just physical pleasure. For the very first time in her life, she actually felt whole; as if she’d needed to date and mess up with other men and relationships all these years just so that she could finally come around to this farm in the middle of nowhere and find the one man who truly mattered.

As they lay together, he continued to stroke her hip with one hand, her hair with the other. In his arms, she felt sated and adored and protected, and could have stayed like that forever.

Of course, considering she and Grayson had almost never seen eye to eye on anything, she wasn’t too surprised that he had other ideas—ones that included pulling her up from the bed.

“Is it time to mess up my sheets now?” she asked hopefully.

“Nope,” he said as he dragged her into his bathroom, turned on the warm spray of the shower, and pushed her under it. “It’s time to clean up, instead.”

She still wasn’t happy about having to be upright again, but at least she was getting a really nice eyeful of his naked body—not to mention an erection that wouldn’t quit. After he went to pick up one of the unused condoms that had fallen onto the floor, she reached for him with both hands.

He took them, but didn’t move into her arms. “I don’t know if I can control myself with you. You’re too beautiful.”

Her ex’s sweet words had been little more than lies to get what he wanted. But Grayson never said anything but the truth. Knowing he truly thought she was beautiful meant everything to her.

“Well, I
know
I can’t control myself with you.” She tugged at his hands. “Now come here and let’s both lose control again.”

Before she could even blink, Grayson had the condom on, then was lifting her up so that her back was pressed up against the tiled shower wall and her legs were around his waist.

“I wanted to seduce you this time, damn it,” he said in a grumbly voice against her earlobe that sent shivers up her skin. “Slowly.” He bit down on the soft flesh, then added, “Gently.”

“Later,” she said as she tightened her legs around his waist so that she could keep her hands free to run down over his shoulders and magnificently muscled back. “Right now
this
is what I want.
You’re
what I want.”

She lowered herself onto him just as he plunged up into her. Wet skin slid against wet skin, hands grasped, moans sounded as he angled his hips up perfectly to send her spiraling off yet one more time into such incredible pleasure she wondered if she was strong enough to survive it. Especially when he found his own pleasure and sent her rocketing off even higher with every rough, deep stroke of his body inside hers.

A few minutes later, Grayson moved her away from the shower wall and she unwrapped her legs from his waist, but even as the water grew colder they continued to kiss, going from hungry to sweet, then back again. After he’d toweled off both of them, carried her back to his bed, and drawn the sheets up over her as she yawned, she was snuggling into him spoon-style when she felt the evidence of his ongoing arousal pressing thick and hard into her hips.

“I’ve always really loved sex,” she teased him over her shoulder, “but you’re insatiable. Tell me again, when’s the last time you got some?”

“It’s not just the sex, Lori,” he said in a voice that held both desire and sleepiness—and maybe even a little momentary contentment, she hoped. “It’s
you
.”

Less than a heartbeat later, she was rolling over for the slow, sweet lovemaking they hadn’t been able to get to in the shower. As they kissed and ran their hands over each other, as he wrapped his arms around her and she wrapped her legs around him, as he slid into her on a groan and she sighed with pleasure while lifting her hips into his to take him deeper still, Lori couldn’t remember ever feeling so safe. So incredibly good.

Grayson gathered her even closer to bury his face in the damp crook of her neck, and after the force of his climax triggered yet one more beautiful release for her, too, he rolled her over so that her head lay on his chest and her legs were entwined with his.

The last thing she was aware of before she fell asleep was the soft press of his mouth against her forehead as he kissed her good night.

Chapter Nineteen

It was the first time in three years that Grayson had slept past sunrise.

Sunlight was streaming in his bedroom window as Lori slept in the circle of his arms. Actually, it was more that she was sprawled completely over him so that he was both her mattress and pillow. But even though he’d always preferred to have plenty of space to himself in bed, he found he didn’t mind the way she’d unconsciously claimed his entire bed—and his body—as her own.