Always For You (Books 1-3) (19 page)

I thought about all those times he'd
called me, all those times he'd tried to get me to submit to him. I
wondered if the police knew about that. The fact that he used
multiple different phones probably helped me. It also convinced me
that he was as keen as anyone to keep everybody out of the loop about
what he was doing. That sort of thing could ruin his public profile,
and that profile was worth a lot of money.

“I'm getting his money Grace.” His
words broke me suddenly from my train of thought. “It was the
reading of his will the other day. He's left everything to me.”
There was no happiness or excitement in his words. In fact, he
sounded strangely disappointed by it all.

“Well that's – good. Isn't it?” I
asked, noticing the dampness of his words.

“I don't know. I don't deserve it
all.”

“But you were the closest thing he
had to a son, to an heir?”

He nodded gently. “Sure, he had no
other family or anything, so I suppose he didn't have anyone else.
I'll share it between my family, buy them houses, give them the
assets. I don't want the money, not like this.”

“That's good, that's the right thing
to do.”

He seemed distant still, like he had
much more going on in his mind. “They came to talk to me about it,
you know?” he said. “The police. They actually came to talk to me
as soon as the will was read.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, they seem to think that maybe
I had something to do with it now. That I'd killed him to get the
money. How fucking ridiculous is that. Those incompetent morons. They
can't find any leads so they actually talk to me, think I'm a
suspect. It sickens me.”

My heart was beginning to race a little
bit now. “But, it's only regulation though, right? I guess they
have to follow any lead, however unlikely?”

“Yes, I know that,” he said
,slightly irritably, “but I think it's daft that they even have to
mention it. They brought me in Grace, sat me down in the station,
asked me official questions. After all the help I've given them.”
He sighed. “I don't know, I've half a mind to hire someone myself
to get on the case.”

Shit, I thought he was beginning to
move on from this by now
. “I don't think that's a good idea
Chase. It will only keep the wound open, keep it from healing. I
don't think it will help you get any closure.”

He sighed again deeply, exhaling as he
drank his water. “Yeah, maybe. I just want to see whoever did this
burn.”

“I know honey, I know.”
If only
he knew who it really was, what really happened. I wonder how he'd
feel then?

“Look Grace, I'm sorry about this,
about talking about it all the time. I know it must be hard on you
having to deal with me. But, I guess I need you. You know I love you
don't you?”

I smiled. “Of course.”

“Good. I'll try to be better Grace.
Be a better boyfriend, stop being so miserable.”

“That's OK,” I said. “You were
there for me when I needed you, so I'm here for you now. I love you
too, take all the time you need to deal with this.”
Just please,
deal with it quickly.

December 1
^st
2013

Cain

“Baby, come back to bed.” The words
fell from the tongue of a local girl, Sadie, lying naked under the
covers.

I sat at the end of the bed, eyes fixed
on my phone.
What is the matter with me?

I was looking at a picture of Emily, of
the two of us together in the park. It looked like someone else,
someone else's life, a happy couple together enjoying the summer
sunshine on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. That had never been me, not
until recently. But I'd lost it now.

I'd been sleeping with Sadie for a few
weeks, staying with her most nights. She worked as a stripper in a
local bar down the road from where I was working, and I'd often spend
half my money down there. She had tended to my wounds after a recent
fight, taking me back to hers to 'take care of me'. She certainly did
that, in more ways than one.

It wasn't the same though. I'd never
have usually spent more than a night with her, but I was changing. I
was looking for something more, something real. I wanted comfort
after everything that had gone down, and especially now.

It was the first of December, and I
knew what was coming. I felt it every single year – that
loneliness, that isolation. I'd never had that big family Christmas,
and I never had a girlfriend to enjoy it with either. Since I was 16
it had been me, just me, no one else.

Now everything that I'd missed out on,
everything that I was jealous of other people for, was all resting at
my fingertips, just at arms length from me. I had a family now. I
didn't know them properly yet, hadn't spent any time with them, but
they were there, waiting for me.

Then there was Emily. She'd made a mark
on me, had more of an impact than anyone. The thought that she was
seeing someone else crushed at my lungs sometimes. It was a longing
that I'd never experienced. This wasn't me. I wasn't the type to give
a shit. One night stands, no feelings, no emotions. That was my MO.

Now that I'd had a taste of something
more though, I wanted it back. I wasn't going to let that girl slip
away, fuck no. I'd fight for her.

“Come on baby, I'm cold, warm me up.”
Sadie's voice came from behind me on the bed.

I turned and slid my naked body back
over to hers, reaching my arms around her, my hands teasing her
breasts. She giggled lightly as I nonchalantly brushed by her
nipples, feeling a pulse run through her, my chest pressed close to
her back. My hand drifted down her front, tracing along her side and
curving its way inward towards her inner thigh. I tempted and teased
her, feeling her twitch and writhe as my fingers casually explored
her most sensitive areas.

I didn't like this girl, not like I
liked Emily. In the past I'd have never seen her more than once. But
here, in this dusty town in the middle of nowhere, she was the best I
could do. The problem was, she was starting to like me. I could tell
by the way she kissed me, the way she cuddled up to me at night. It
made me uncomfortable, made me want to leave, but I had nowhere to
go. Not yet anyway.

She moaned with pleasure as I fell into
old habits, my hands doing their magic, my tongue taking over as I
climbed down between her legs. This was easy for me, routine. It
never meant anything anymore, it barely registered with me.

Sex, that's all it was. Nothing more.
Sadie never said anything, that it meant more to her, but her actions
told me otherwise, snuggling up to my shoulder as soon as we were
done. I closed my eyes as I felt her breath across my chest, her head
resting on my shoulder.
Emily. Imagine it's Emily.

As soon as she was asleep I slid away
and put on my clothes, walking out into the quiet night and back to
my own room. I was living in a cheap motel, a tiny single room with
barely any space for anything but a bed. Lucky I had nothing with me,
just a bag with a few changes of clothes. I liked it that way,
traveling
light. It let me move on quickly
if I needed to.

I'd been here though, in this dusty
town for a while now, working in the bar and fighting down in the
basement. It wasn't glamorous, but the money was good. So good, in
fact, that I was finding it hard to leave. Every time I picked up my
bag ready to go, to head back to West Norton, I threw it back to the
floor again.

I was torn. I wanted to see Grace, see
that she was OK, that she was doing fine after everything that had
happened. I wanted Emily back, explain to her why I left, what I'd
been doing. I bet she hated me now, hated me after leaving so
suddenly, leaving when things were getting serious. That would be my
lie – that I left because things were getting too real. I couldn't
tell her what really went down.

I sat on the bed in my tiny room and
looked at the blank walls, chipped and pealing. There was no life
here, not in this room, not in this town. It was a hub for travelers
and passers by, not designed for anyone to stay for long. I had to
get out, I had to get back home, back to what remained of my life.

For the first time in weeks I picked up
my bag and didn't throw it down again. I walked out the door and down
the steps of the motel, leaving my keys at the unoccupied front desk
as I left. I felt bad for Sadie, bad that she'd wake up and I'd be
gone. That she was used to, but this time, I'd never come back.

I stepped onto my bike and put on my
helmet. It was time to go back home.

December 4
^th
2013

Grace

Chase ran his hand up my thigh as we
sat at the dinner table, my dad and Ellen preparing to bring out the
next course.

“Chase,” I said, slapping his hand
away, “not now!”

He smiled at me, a cheeky glint in his
blue eyes. God I loved those eyes. “I'm not doing anything,” he
said, sliding his hand further up my leg under my skirt. My legs
shivered as his fingers crept further, a pleasure tingling through my
body.

“Seriously,” I said weakly, lightly
closing my legs, “later.”

He slowly withdrew his hand, sliding
his fingers back along my thigh as they returned above the table. He
smiled, as if all his worries had been assuaged, his expression more
relaxed than I'd seen it in a while.

Over the last few weeks he'd been
returning to his normal self. He'd been making a conscious effort to
move on, to let things go. As hard as it must have been for him, he
was beginning to live his life once more.

For me, it was all I wanted. I don't
know what he was like when he was on his own, but around me he was
keen to make sure that he was happy, smiley, and his positive old
self. It was a weight off my shoulders, and I finally felt for
certain that I was past the worst of everything; that everything
would be OK.

“Here we go then,” said my dad as
he walked out with a couple of plates of pasta and placed them down
in front of us, Ellen following in behind with the rest of the food.
I was so happy to see Ellen back in town for Christmas, back living
at the house over the next few weeks. I was back too, on break from
college, so it was so nice to have the family back together after
everything we'd been through.

I'd spoken to my dad about Cain soon
after he'd disappeared, telling him that we'd talked, that he had
come to see me and told me about everything. With so much else on my
mind, I hadn't the energy to be angry with him for what had happened
in the past. He was so apologetic, so upset by it all that I didn't
feel he needed anyone else to berate him for it.

I spoke to Ellen about everything as
well over the phone. She admitted that she'd known for years, that it
was the reason why her relationship with mom and dad had begun to
break down. She felt so much more aggrieved than I did, and I
couldn't work out why. She'd never been as understanding as me, as
willing to forgive and forget, but this had really struck a chord
with her.
Perhaps it was because she found out when she was
younger, when she was less able to deal with it all.

We both knew Cain was the real victim
here though, growing up without his father, without his family. I
told them he'd been the one to save me when mom died, that he was
there to pull me out. They were shocked by it, by the fact that he'd
been there, my brother, all without knowing who I was to him. I
didn't tell them about the other stuff though – watching him beat
that mugger half to death, the fact that I'd had an overdose and he'd
found me. Least of all would I ever mention that night at the
mansion. That secret would follow me to my grave.

“Have you heard from Cain at all?”
asked Ellen as we ate. Dad always winced at the name, looking
slightly sheepish as if Ellen would start laying into him about it
all again.

I guessed that the question was aimed
at both of us, but I took the lead. “Not a word on my end. Dad?”

He shifted uncomfortably in his chair.
“No, unfortunately. I do hope he's OK. It would be great if he
could come for Christmas.” I'm sure he was being genuinely sincere
about it, but he made sure to lend that tone to his voice, to make it
clear. I guess he was trying to convince Ellen more than anyone else.

“I feel it's a bit weird that he just
disappeared after he'd finally found you dad, and spoke to you Grace.
Don't you think that's odd?” Ellen continued.

I didn't find it odd at all. I knew
exactly why he'd gone, not that I'd ever tell anyone. Was I worried?
Not really. I knew that he could take care of himself, I knew that if
anything really happened, Brad would tell me. He said he didn't know
what was going on, where Cain was, but I knew that was a lie. I read
it in his eyes.

“I think maybe it was a bit much for
him, a lot for him to take. I mean, meeting your dad, finding out
that you've got two sisters, that's heavy stuff. He probably just
wants to get it straight in his head, you know.” I thought that was
a pretty convincing lie. Not usually my forte.

“I guess so,” Ellen continued.
“Didn't you tell me he was seeing the daughter of Penny though dad?
Emily? Do you know what happened there? Do you think she knows where
he is?”

This was news to me. I knew nothing
about this. “Yes he was seeing her for a while actually,” dad
started. “From what I've heard it looked as though he left without
saying anything to Emily. Not a call or a message or anything. She
was very upset, Penny told me. Apparently she's seeing someone else
now.”

“So, hang on,” I butted in. “Cain
was going out with the daughter of your partner?”

“Yep,” dad said, nodding, “small
world isn't it. That's how he found me.”