ALWAYS FAITHFUL (10 page)

C
laire sat with Grace, rocking her to sleep as she thought about the afternoon with Nic.
What happened between us?
She felt so out of control at that moment that she couldn’t focus her mind on anything but Nic’s body and how it felt to be held by her. It had been a long time since she had been intimate with anyone and today had awakened long dormant desires. She thought about Nic and wondered what she was thinking at that moment. Was Nic as unsettled by everything as she was? Was
she
thinking about their exchange in the bathroom, or did she play it off as a needy wife acting out? Claire needed to talk to Nic so she could explain, but she wasn’t sure how she was going to do that. With the funeral and all of the things that needed to be handled in the next thirty days she wasn’t sure she was going to be able to talk to the Major anytime soon.

Continuing to rock Grace, her thoughts wandered back to the feel of Nic’s body, her slim muscular shape and how it made her feel to touch it. She imagined Nic lying next to her as Nic caressed her with soft, long strokes down her body, her skin tingling under the officer’s touch. She felt herself tremble as she remembered how Nic felt under her touch, wishing she could feel that warm, soft body again.
Stop, this has to stop right now. No good will come from this kind of thinking. I need to focus on burying my husband and moving forward with my child,
Claire told herself, remembering how quickly Nic left after the sexually charged exchange.

I need to talk to someone about this. I don’t think I can handle this kind of stuff right now.
Claire put her sleeping daughter down and kissed her gently as she tucked her in tight. She had less than thirty days to make decisions and the last thing she needed was to lose focus by being sidetracked by a beautiful face.

###

“Hello Claire!” said the voice on the other end. “Are you OK? Have they found Mike?”

“Well, actually no.” Claire suddenly wondered if it was a good idea to call Jordan after all. She felt her anxiety level rise at the thought of saying things out loud that she wasn’t really ready to admit to herself as it was. But she was already on the phone and it was a little too late to second guess herself now. Besides, Jordan knew her like a book and would know if she was keeping something from her.

“Okay, what’s wrong?” Jordan asked when Claire didn’t say anything, “Grace! Is Grace all right?”

“Grace is fine. I just put her down to bed. Oh, I’m sorry for calling so late. Maybe I should just call you tomorrow, and we can talk then?”

“Oh no you don’t, you know that it’s never too late for you to call.” Claire could hear the concern in Jordan’s voice. “Look sweetie you know you can call anytime, day or night. What’s going on? Are you all right?”

“Well …” Claire hesitated, not knowing where to start.

“Yes?”

“Well, as a matter-of-fact something did happen tonight. Today in fact.”

“Oh no, Is it bad Claire? Do you need me to get on a plane tonight?”

“No… it’s not, bad really… well it’s… well I…” She took a deep breath and tried to stop her hands from shaking.

“Relax, hon. Whatever it is we can get through this. Take a deep breath and just tell me what’s happened. I can be there in a day if you need me right now.”

Taking a deep breath again, she closed her eyes. It wasn’t as easy to talk about it as she had hoped it would be.

“How long have we known each other, hon? Hmm, since forever, right? You can tell me anything. You know that, don’t you? So shoot.”

“Well, remember me telling you about the officer who came to the house to inform me of Mike’s accident? She’s really gone out of her way to help us with everything that has been going on here and well … I kissed her tonight and I don’t know what to do now.”
There, I said it. It’s out in the open and I can’t take it back now. Jordan will know what to do.
Scared when she didn’t hear anything on the other end of the line, Claire took a deep breath and tried again.

“Jordan? You still there?”

“Yeah, I think we might have a bad connection though. Did you just say what I think you said?”

“I’m afraid so. I kissed Major Caldwell tonight. Oh Jordan, what am I going to do now?” Claire felt like she was going to break down any moment and her voice gave away her secret as she continued talking to Jordan. “It happened so fast and before I knew what I was doing it was over with. Oh god, it felt so good. I’m screwed, aren’t I?”

“Okay sweetie, hold on and tell me exactly what happened. It isn’t everyday that you just kiss a total stranger. Besides, does Major Caldwell know about you?”

“Look, I don’t even know if Nic, I mean, Major Caldwell, is gay, let alone if she knows anything about me and Mike. I mean I doubt she knows anything, and besides she isn’t a total stranger. We have sort of known each other since college.” Claire told her long time friend about the events that had happened in the last few days and how she knew Nic. Before long Jordan knew everything that had happened all the way down to the little detail of how Nic’s body felt under Claire’s touch.

“Shit, kid this is something. One day you’re a widow, the next you’re groping the body of a hot female officer. Geez, leave it to you to get all the breaks.” Claire knew Jordan was making light of the situation for her benefit, and the effort made her smile.

“God Jordan, please this is bad. What am I going to do?”

“Well did she say anything when she left? I mean how did she act? Was she weirded out or did she act normal?”

“Actually she was pretty calm about the whole thing.”

“You mean she acted like this kinda thing happened to her all of the time?”

“Well, not exactly. I sort of dismissed her. She said she had things that needed to be taken care of at the office and thanked me for dinner and left. Oh god, I was awful to her because I was so embarrassed about what happened. I should call and apologize to her.” Frantic, all Claire could think to do was hang up the phone and call Nic to apologize for her behavior.

“WAIT, wait, wait… calm down, Claire. Just take a deep breath and let’s think this thing through. You have been through so much in the past few days that it is probably normal that you would act differently than expected. She has probably seen worse behavior that she can’t explain, especially in situations like this. You just might make things worse if you call and bring this all out again. Besides, you said she reacted to your touch, too, didn’t you? So maybe she doesn’t want to be reminded of her reaction either? Even if it was as innocent as you said it was.” Jordan’s voice was calm and certain.

“Look, maybe the best thing to do right now is to ignore what happened, to just let it lie and not give it too much attention. You’ve been put through a tragedy that most women will never experience so it is to be expected that you might act out due to the stress and the loss you have gone through. Right?”

“Oh God, I guess your right. I’m just so confused and stressed I can’t seem to think straight right now. So much has happened and I don’t know which way is up anymore. I guess I just read more into Major Caldwell doing her job and put her in a difficult situation.” Claire was trying to spin the situation differently in her mind but it still felt the same to her. She was attracted to Nic and couldn’t deny it.

“Look, I can be there in a day and we can get through all of this stuff together. Why…”

“No, no. Why don’t we wait until we know more about Mike? That way, you will be here when the really difficult stuff happens, you know? Mike’s family and the funeral. I’m sure his mom is going to want to make all the arrangements and I am going to need someone in my court when she gets here. Okay?” Claire interrupted, hoping that her friend would give her a little time to clear her mind before the real issues arrived.

“Sure, but promise me you will call if anything, and I mean anything, happens.”

“I promise, and thanks again for listening and being the voice of reason. I don’t know what I would do without you, Jordan.”

“Sure you do. You would drive on just like you are now. Just a little faster, that’s all. I love you, hon, and make sure you kiss Grace for me and tell her Aunty Jordan can’t wait to see her. Okay?”

“Sure. See you soon.”

Claire rolled over, putting the phone back on Mike’s side of the bed and laid her head on his pillow. His scent had long evaporated from the pillowcase, not that Claire ever felt the need for his scent. She did find it somewhat relaxing to know that Grace had a father that loved her and he was always a good husband, at least in the ways that mattered to her. No, she was wrong. She would miss Mike, his strength, his kindness, and his friendship. But now she had to find her own strength, a strength that she hadn’t had to draw upon for some time. In a crisis of faith or loss, people either stepped up and met the challenge or they collapsed in its wake. Claire knew she had to rise up out of it and step up boldly meeting it head on, not only for her sake but for her daughter’s as well.

N
ic could feel the heat of the body next to hers. The slender brunette lay there panting from the lust that had ensued just moments earlier. Nic trembled from the orgasm rolling through her. Yet, even as the final tremors subsided, she wanted more. More tension. More pressure. She rolled toward the back that was exposed to her and moved her hips to make contact with the woman’s smooth, firm ass. Nic gasped as her nipples raked her companion’s back and instantly hardened again. She ran her tongue along the brunette’s neck, enjoying the sweet taste of lust disguised as sweat. Her muscles tensed in a shudder of anticipation. She ran her hand over a narrow shoulder and down an arm that felt slight compared with her own.

Inhaling the scent of clean hair and hot skin, Nic willed herself to remember every moment as if it would be her last with this exotic stranger. Her companion’s fingers tightened and she undulated against Nic’s hips, moaning softly. Nic started to feel the familiar tingle of another orgasm and, slipping free of the woman’s grasp, she grabbed the hips in front of her and began to grind slowly into them, rubbing her already hardened clit into the firm ass. Her nipples added more fuel to the fire as they rubbed against her sexy partner’s back. Her breathing started to quicken and she knew it would only be a matter of seconds before she came again. She wanted to prolong this feeling as long as she could, but her body wanted something else.

Nic heard gasps as the woman pushed harder against her, brown hair thrown back onto her shoulder. The woman was begging for release, each plea more insistent. Reaching around her, Nic grasped her nipples and gently tugged them into erect points. Nic slid her other hand into the slick folds between her lover’s legs and entered her. The beautiful woman adjusted her legs so Nic could enter deeper, and as she slid her fingers in as deep as she could she felt her hand being pushed even further.

“Hard baby, I want you to fuck me harder.” The silky voice commanded as she helped Nic work her hand in and out of her wet pussy.

“That’s it baby. Oh god you’re gonna make me come again.”

Nic felt her quiver as an orgasm formed. Her own body reacted, beginning its own orgasmic dance with her companion’s. She worked her hips harder, and felt Claire reach between them and stroke her clit, then slide her hand between her legs and enter Nic swiftly.

Spreading her legs, she accepted the long thrusts and prolonged her orgasm a few moments longer before turning away from the woman she had just made love with.

A buzzing broke through the sounds of their labored breathing and continued to demand attention until, finally, Nic pressed her head into the pillows to kill its incessant scream and reached for the alarm clock.

God, it was just a dream, another Goddamn dream. This time it felt so real, so fulfilling.
She had dreamt of Claire for nights and the outcome was always the same- a gut wrenching orgasm that left her both satisfied and aching for the real thing.

###

Nic had opted not to see Claire after their last encounter, afraid of the embarrassment that it would bring them and the unanswered urges it would cause. She asked the sergeant to call to find out if Claire needed anything and to let her know that there were no new developments. It was all the Major could do not to stop by and see her or pick up the phone and talk to Claire. Instead, she mailed the forms they had never gotten around to, with a Post-em telling Claire to call if she needed help with them. She knew she was torturing herself thinking about Claire, but she couldn’t control her dreams. She stayed later at the office using the excuse that she was cleaning up paperwork. She was even working out at the gym for two hours instead of one so that she was exhausted when she got home. Even riding her motorcycle was offering no relief to the face she saw every time she closed her eyes. She had it bad and she knew it, but she also knew no good could come from it.

Swinging her feet to the floor Nic rested her head in her hands and tried to fend off the approaching headache. The stress was getting to her and there was little she could do right now to fix things for herself or for Claire. Finding Mike’s body was paramount to getting out of this situation with Claire. When they could close this chapter, Claire would move out of base housing and be on her way, and Nic would be back focusing on another family in their hour of crisis. She cursed herself for letting the Priest talk her into taking on Captain Monroe’s family personally. She knew better than to become personally involved. She limped to the shower and waited until it had time to warm up to its hotter than hot temperature, just the way she liked it. She slid into the pulsating jets and she leaned her head back into them to try and relieve some of the tension that had settled into her neck and shoulders from the headache. She knew she was going to have to try a different approach to forget Claire. Perhaps it was time for some company to take her mind off her problems. The weekend was coming and she deserved a little time away from the base. Maybe she would drive into San Diego and hit up a gay bar?