Always Devoted (20 page)

Clare's lips tightened.  "I do not have the time or inclination to keep arguing with you.  I have to be packed in five days."

"Five days?  You mean the deal's closed...finished?  You did this without consulting me?"

His aunt's voice was even, but silver sparks studded her blue eyes.  "I'm an adult.  I don't have to consult you.  And how could I anyway when you were off in no-man's land back-packing?"

"You could have waited.  You knew my timetable."

She gently clasped his arm.  "I'm doing this whether you approve or not.  We had to move fast on the house.  Someone else wanted it.  We settle on Friday and I intend to move in Saturday."

Whenever he argued with Clare, he felt as if he was running against the wind.  She could be so bullheaded.  He wanted what was best for her but he wasn't sure this was it.  "You're moving too fast; I don't like the whole thing."

His aunt gave him a pat, then crossed to the desk and picked up a can of furniture polish.  "I've made my decision, Josh.  You're not going to change my mind so you might as well stop trying.  I have a lot to do and not much time to do it.  If you're going to help, you're welcome to stay."

Josh closed his eyes for a moment.  He was tired.  He had driven the last seven hours, anxious to get home, anxious to see how the toy stores were faring without him, anxious to find out what his aunt had been up to.  No one had heard him knock, so he'd walked in.  He'd never expected this.  The deal wouldn't be settled until Friday, so it could still fall through or be cancelled.

"I'm going to talk to Ms. Kittredge."

"You're not going to bully her.  This was totally my decision, no one else's."

"I want to know some details."

"So ask me!"

"You're too busy packing."

"Josh--"

"Aunt Clare," he parroted with the same wary intonation.

Clare threw her hands up in surrender.  "Okay.  But don't make her feel guilty or anything else.  She's been an extraordinary help.  I wouldn't have been able to do this without her."

Josh believed that.  But why had she torn his aunt's life apart?  He was determined to find out exactly what Lexa Kittredge had to do with this whole mess, and what kind of influence she obviously held over his aunt.

His footsteps were muffled by the carpet in the hallway.  But when he entered the living room, Lexa turned toward him,  as if sensing he was there.

She propped the painting she was holding against a sofa arm and sat down next to it.  "Clare is sure about the plans she's made."

Josh's expression was grim.  "Are they her plans or someone else's?"

Lexa stared up at him and didn't seem to take offense at his protective concern.  "They're her plans."

There were smudges of blue under Lexa's eyes.  Did she stay up late?  Did she live with someone?  He glanced at her hand.  No ring on her finger.  He wondered how she spent her free time and whom she spent it with, then immediately banished the thought.

He had to remind himself she could be manipulating his aunt for some gain of her own.  His words were brisk.  "Convince me.  Convince me that you had nothing to do with her pouring her life savings into an old house, nothing to do with her turning her life topsy-turvy at her age.  She said you've been advising her.  What gives you that right?"

"I have that right because I have the qualifications and because I'm her friend.  I have been since the workshop."

He crossed his arms over his chest.  "I can't believe she was interested in a second career.  She can't possibly want to work again.  She has a teacher's pension and social security."

"Why wouldn't she want to work again?"  Lexa sat farther back on the sofa, clearly making herself at home.  "These days, it's almost a necessity."

"She doesn't need to work.  She's financially secure.  If she needs anything, I'm here to help."

Lexa shook her head.  "Maybe she doesn't need to work right now, but she needs--"

"How do you know what she needs?  You can't just advise people without knowing their situation."

Her cheeks flushed.  "Mr. Flannigan, I majored in social work and I minored in psychology.  I run a job counseling and placement center.  I didn't go looking for your aunt, she approached me.  She was sad and depressed."

Josh felt as if she'd kicked him in the stomach.  "Depressed?  She's always smiling, whistling, doing something.  Clare's never depressed.  She's the happiest person I know and you can't seriously tell me--"

"I can seriously tell you she was depressed.  Just how much time have you spent with her the past six months?"

During the past six months he had been working more than usual, making sure his management and sales teams were running without a hitch so he could squeeze in a much-earned, overdo vacation before the Christmas rush.  True, he hadn't seen his aunt much...

Hell, why was he feeling defensive?  Ms. Kittredge was the one who had probably put this hare-brained scheme into his aunt's head.  "What does that have to do with this?"

"Relatives always seem to be the last to see discontent.  If you had sat down with Clare and really listened to what she was saying, you might have realized..."  When he was about to interrupt, Lexa held up her hand like a stop sign.  "Please let me finish."

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and gave her a nod to go ahead.

Eye level with Josh's waist, Lexa saw the denim pull across his thighs.  Realizing he had noticed where her gaze had strayed, she flushed slightly and raised her eyes to his.  "Clare's friends at the center know she's been unhappy the past year.  So I'm not telling you anything that's confidential.  They persuaded her to come to the workshop and to see me.  After we talked, I realized she didn't really want to get back in the work force, but she wanted something to put meaning in her life."

"So you advised a venture that could wipe out her life savings and give her more work than she can handle."

"I advised no such thing.  I told her to think about what she liked to do, what she wanted to do, and what she did best.  She took it from there.  She talked to other seniors and discovered she wasn't the only one who was feeling lonely and empty.  She wants to care for people.  That's what she did for thirty-five years.  She found two other people who want to do the same thing.  They want to share their lives, take care of and depend on each other."

Josh was feeling more and more guilty.  He didn't like the feeling so he struck out.  "And I suppose you don't get anything out of this?  You're just a do-gooder who goes around solving people's problems, giving direction to their lives?"

Lexa's eyes told him he had struck a nerve, that she had heard the accusation before.  "I've helped Clare find a road that will bring her happiness, the same kind of happiness my volunteer work gives me.  You're not thinking about Clare's life, you're thinking about the easiest route for yourself so you don't have to worry about her."

  The static between them crackled.  "You have no right to judge me."

She stood.  "And you have no right to judge my motives or your aunt's capabilities.  Clare's an older woman, not elderly, certainly not decrepit.  She has wisdom, experience, maturity, and goals.  Goals and aspirations don't die because you reach fifty or fifty-five or sixty.  She's smart, interesting, and has a lot to share and no one to share it with."

"She has me!"

Lexa tipped her head back.  "And you think you're enough to fill her world?  Get serious.  That might have been true when you were a recalcitrant teenager, but it's certainly not true now."

He felt at a definite disadvantage.  If his aunt had told this woman about some of his escapades, Lexa was one up on him.  "Aunt Clare's an innocent when it comes to financial matters.  How does she know she can meet the mortgage payments, repairs, taxes?"

"If you talk to your aunt...calmly," Lexa emphasized, "You'll realize she's not going into this blindly.  The widower who's moving in with her is an accountant."

"You have an answer for everything, don't you?" he goaded, suddenly wanting to get a rise out of her.  To that end he stepped closer.  Lexa's perfume wafted around his head; his heart suddenly beat harder.  A slice of desire startled him.

"No, I don't.  But I've had experience with scores of people."

"The truth is you feel powerful influencing people's lives, changing their direction," he accused.

"The truth is, Mr. Flannigan, it makes me feel good, not powerful.  The truth is you don't want to let go of your aunt.  The truth is you don't want her to be independent and not need you.  And the truth is I don't think you'd know the truth if it bit you in the seat of your too-tight jeans!"

Josh needed to regroup.  Alexandra Kittredge had brought up some wrinkles he hadn't anticipated--wrinkles that, if she was telling the truth, couldn't easily be smoothed away.  "I want what's best for Clare, what's good for her."

"You might not know what that is.  Only she knows.  I'll leave so you can discuss this without interference." 

He reached for Lexa's arm and when his fingers closed around it, he saw the same jolt of awareness he experienced reflected in her eyes.  "Don't leave without saying good-bye to her.  She'll think I ran you out the door."

"Clare loves you.  She needs and wants your support.  This isn't easy for her."

Josh's eyes narrowed.  Lexa sounded so sincere.  If she was on the level, he wondered what had drawn her to Clare, what made her care so much.  He released her arm and let his hand drop to his side.  "I want to see her happy.  But I want her safe."

"Even people over sixty might have to take risks to find happiness."

Had Lexa Kittredge taken many risks in her life?  He decided to find out more about her.  But not now.  His aunt was his primary concern.  He didn't stand in Lexa's way when she started toward the den to tell Clare she was leaving.  He watched the sway of her hips as she walked, and he made up his mind.  No, he and Alexandra Kittredge weren't finished yet.  Not by a long shot.

***

After Lexa returned to her town house from Clare's apartment Sunday evening, she showered and made herself a salad.  Wrapped in a chenille robe, she settled at her computer to skim the news feed.  But her mind wasn't on the headlines.

Joshua Flannigan was a force to be reckoned with.  But Clare was independent enough to do what she wanted.  Lexa felt a deep affection for her.  Initially, she'd gotten involved with Clare because she needed something to keep her mind off the ramifications of becoming an adoptive mother.  She was worried about Dani.  Lexa desperately wanted her sister's child, but right now she was more concerned about her sister.

The phone rang and she decided to let her answering machine monitor it.  But when she heard Dani's voice leaving a message, she grabbed the phone on the end table.

"Dani, I'm here."  Lexa flicked off the tape recording and asked, "How are you feeling?"

"About the same.  The doctor says the nausea will pass in a couple of months.  I saw a lawyer."

"And?"

"He doesn't feel there will be any problems as long as we're both sure this is what we want.  He said to think about it for another month or so then call him and he'll start the paperwork.  Lexa, are you sure you want to adopt?  It's too hard to raise a child as a single parent.  That's why I..."

Lexa's heart tore as she heard Dani's anguish.  At that moment she despised the man who refused to support Dani.  "Honey, it's different for me.  I have a sound income.  I have access to good day care here in Chambersburg.  You know, you could do it if you really want to.  Dad would help you."

Tears threaded Dani's voice.  "I can't do it, Lexa.  You're strong.  I can't believe how you've done everything on your own without Daddy's money."

"That was my choice.  But you can accept his help."

"I don't want to raise a child--not alone.  And I can't believe you do."

Lexa had loved and protected Dani since their mother died.  "Did you tell Dad yet?"

"No.  Not yet.  And don't you."

"I won't.  But you should tell him soon."

"I will.  Eventually.  He'll think I should get married to save the family name or something.  What a laugh.  Marriage is the last thing Rob wants to think about."

"Have you seen him lately?"

"Yes.  We argued again.  Lexa, I love him but he doesn't want to get married.  I told him you're going to adopt the baby.  He thinks you're crazy."

Lexa knew exactly what she was doing and crazy didn't enter into it.  Because of a bout with endometriosis, she might never be able to have children.  The knowledge had plagued her for the last two years.  No one knew but her sister.  When she learned Dani was pregnant but wanted to give the baby up for adoption, Lexa had jumped at the chance.  "I can't tell you how thankful I am you're willing to let me adopt."

"You've always been a terrific big sister even though I've wanted to pull your hair out more than once.  And I know you'll make a great mother because you care so much about everyone."

"Hey, you better stop before I get a swelled head."  The teasing tone disappeared.  "I only want you to do what's right for you.  I want you to be happy.  Okay?"