Authors: Alexis Morgan
When he checked on her, Natalie had fallen into a deep slumber, probably thanks to a combination of the bourbon and exhaustion. Lucky her. Tino had given up on sleep an hour after he'd crawled into bed. It was tempting to lurk in the corner of his own room and watch over Natalie, but he headed back downstairs to flop on the couch. Late-night television had nothing to offer, and the book he was reading didn't hold his attention for more than a page or two.
He went back to pacing the floor. Damn, he had to do something, had to talk to someone before he exploded. Right now, it was a toss-up between heaving the weights at the wall or calling his brother. Since the first thing would wake up Natalie, he reached for his cellphone. It rang half a dozen times before he heard a deep grumble coming from the other end of the line.
“Jack?”
“Right on the first guess, you damn idiot. Who the hell else would be answering my phone at this hour?”
There was another voice in the background. Well, crap, he'd also woken up Jack's wife. “Tell Caitlyn I'm sorry for bothering her.”
“I will, but she knows you wouldn't call for no reason. The only question is whether you need both of us or just me.”
“Just you.”
Tino could tell that Jack was up and moving around. “Can we handle whatever it is on the phone or do you need me to come over? Don't tell me I need to come post bail, because that could've waited till morning.”
“Smart ass. Remember the day you tore the annex up throwing the weight set around? And how much work it took us to put it back together?”
“Yeah.”
Neither of them would forget that day. Jack's foster son, Ricky, had almost been killed by his stepfather. Jack had held it together until the boy was safely in the hospital, but then he'd returned to the annex to explode in a destructive fury. Tino had come just as close to losing Natalie tonight.
“I'm on the verge of seeing if I can outdo your performance.”
His brother sighed. “I'll bring the truck in case I don't get there in time, and we need to spend the rest of the night patching drywall and painting.”
Knowing his brother was on his way did a lot to help Tino regain control. “Good thinking. We'll need it anyway for an unscheduled job tomorrow. I'll explain when you get here.”
“I should be there in half an hour, maybe a little longer if I stop at the all-night doughnut shop on the way. If you want, I can pick up a couple of venti hot chocolates to go with them.”
“I want.”
The forty minutes it took for Jack to finally arrive were some of the longest of Tino's life. Pacing the width of the small living room reminded him too much of his time in the military watching the prisoners trapped in the confines of a tiny cell. Prowling outside in the yard was out of the question, because he might wake up his mother. The last thing he wanted was to have her join this party. His nerves were at the breaking point when he finally spotted Jack's truck.
It was about time. At least his brother was smart enough to kill the headlights and the engine before coasting into the driveway, lessening the chance of drawing Marlene's attention. Tino found it easier to breathe as his brother silently joined him in the annex.
Jack crossed the room to sit at the kitchen table. He plunked down two cups of hot chocolate and flipped the lid open on a box of doughnuts. After picking out a maple bar, he shoved the rest across the table toward Tino when he sat across from him.
Jack didn't pussyfoot around. “So what has Natalie Kennigan done to get your knickers in a twist?”
Still trying to act more in control than he was, Tino leaned forward to study the doughnuts. Good, Jack had remembered to get the ones with chocolate sprinkles. He waited until he'd eaten the entire thing before saying, “She came pretty damn close to getting killed tonight.”
As an exâSpecial Forces soldier, it took a lot to shock Jack. Tino took some pride in the fact that his bald statement had clearly done the job. Jack sat up straighter, his doughnut forgotten for the moment, as he asked rapid-fire questions. “What the fuck? How did that happen? Is she okay?”
Tino glanced at the ceiling, reminding himself she was sleeping, safe and sound, upstairs. “Keep your damn voice down. I brought her back here to spend the night. She's okay for now, but that's due mostly to stupid luck.”
He sipped his hot chocolate, but the rich taste did nothing to wash away the bitter taste of fear. “God, that is one stubborn woman. It's not enough that she's put her heart and soul into the work she does for her grandfather's foundation. No, she's got to teach classes herself and then go waltzing around in a deserted parking lot at night. I used to hang around after basketball practices to walk out with her, but that ended after we quit seeing each other.”
“Like that would've kept you from keeping an eye on her.” Jack shook his head and reached for another doughnut. “And I'm guessing she's smart enough to suspect you were still pulling guard duty.”
“Probably, although she never complained about it. Maybe that's a sign she was getting over being pissed at me.”
A man could hope, anyway. But back to the story. “The kids on our team had something going on at school tonight, so practice got canceled. I was on my way to keep watch anyway when I got caught in a traffic jam. Knowing I wouldn't get there in time, I called Clarence, the janitor at the center, and asked him to walk out with her. I arrived just in time to see three teenagers attack the pair of them.”
The images of what came next played out in horrifying slow motion inside his head. “The ringleader went after Clarence with a piece of pipe. Stupid kid got more than he asked for, because Clarence did himself proud fighting back. The second punk waded in, making it two against one while the third guy went after Natalie. She whacked him on the side of his head with her briefcase, but I doubt she did much damage. She's such a little bit of a thing and no match for someone nearly twice her size.”
He squeezed his cup hard enough that the lid popped off. Too bad it wasn't that kid's neck he had in a death grip. “That asshole smacked her hard and took off with her purse and briefcase. That was right about the time I got there. I disarmed the one with the pipe while Clarence flattened the other one. The police hauled those two off to jail. At least they gave up their buddy, probably hoping to save their worthless asses from doing hard time.”
He sneered. “Lot of good that'll do them. The cops have them dead to rights on assault with a deadly weapon, not to mention they admitted in front of multiple witnesses that they were there to rob the computer lab. Not sure how many other charges the cops will come up with, but I hope they throw the book at them.”
By that point, Jack was looking pretty damn fierce. “Little bastards deserve a good ass-kicking. Better yet, sign them up for boot camp and then see what the army can do to straighten them out.”
Tino reached for a second doughnut. “The same thought crossed my mind, although maybe it's too late for those three. There's more hope for some of the other kids I've met at the center. You know, like the ones who helped us restore the basketball court. They have attitude, but they're basically good kids.”
Jack paused to take a bite out of his third doughnut. “They reminded me a lot of Ricky back when he was living on the streets and skirting the edge of serious trouble. God knows where he'd be now if he hadn't wised up and came to live with us. Look at him nowâan honor student and making plans for college.”
Jack's pride in his adopted son was well deserved. The boy had grabbed hold of the chance he'd been given and worked hard to turn his life around, something he had in common with Jack, Tino, and Mikhail. None of them had had much of a future ahead of them before Joe and Marlene Lukash had taken them in.
Jack glanced up at the ceiling. “So back to the woman upstairs. What are you going to do about her?”
“Hell, I don't know. I have her grandfather's blessing to try to patch things up with her, but I'm not so sure about how her parents feel about me and their daughter.”
His brother shrugged. “I'm guessing an ex-soldier with a small construction company wasn't exactly the kind of guy Caitlyn's parents envisioned as the ideal husband for their daughter. But as it turns out, all they care about is that I make her happy.”
So now they'd finally come to the crux of the matter. “Your situation was completely different. You both have jobs you love and a son you love even more.”
Tino paused to look around the annex. “I'm an ex-soldier living in his mother's garage. I have no job and no prospects of one. What have I got to offer a woman like Natalie? You'll see where she lives in the morning when we go change all the locks on her house. Did I mention the kid who stole her stuff has her wallet and keys?”
His brother waved that aside. “Fine, we'll take care of the locks. Right now, I'm more interested in why you think you've got nothing to offer her. You might not have told her everything about your past, but she knows enough. Are you saying that it bothers Natalie that you're still figuring out what you want to do next or that it bothers you? That somehow you don't feel worthy of a woman like her?”
Jack leaned forward, elbows on the table, his hands clenched in fists. “Because if it's that last bit, you and I are going to have one of those discussions that leaves both of us bruised and bloody. No one gets to say you aren't good enough for her.”
His fists slammed down on the table. “Especially not you, because you should fucking well know better. Didn't Dad teach you a damn thing? How many times did he say a man's worth is defined by his character and by his actions, not his bloodline? By what he stands for and against?”
Yeah, Joe had said those things. Both Jack and Mikhail had good reasons to worry about the gene pools that had spawned them. But in Tino's case, both of his parents had been good people. He shoved his chair back and stood up. “I'm going upstairs. You can let yourself out.”
For a big man, Jack was quick on his feet. He planted his stubborn ass between Tino and the steps. “I'm not going anywhere until I'm sure you've got your head on straight. That's why you called me over here in the first place.”
Tino glared right back at him. “I needed to talk to someone. Mission accomplished, so leave.”
“Not happening, little brother. Besides, by the time I get home, I'd just have to turn around and come back here so we can go get the locks and stuff we need to make your woman's home safe again.”
Tino wasn't sure about Natalie being his woman, but he wasn't going to argue the point right now. Besides, it was a relief to know Jack was going to hang around, not that he'd admit it to the big jerk. “Fine, but I'm sleeping in your room. You can have Mikhail's or flake out on the couch.”
“I will.”
Jack started to move out of the way, but then in a surprise move, he wrapped his huge arms around Tino in one of those awkward man hugs. “I know what you're feeling for Natalie has sent your world into a tailspin. Been there, done that. But believe me, it's so worth it.”
Tino fought his way free from his brother's grip. “It's not the same.”
“Yeah, it is. You just need to figure out what you want to do next before you screw up the best thing that's ever happened to you.”
At least this time Jack didn't try to stop him from heading up the steps. When he reached the second floor, he meant to go straight to bed even if it was unlikely he'd actually sleep. Instead, he found himself standing outside of the door to his own room. Moving with great care, he let himself in, planning to stay only long enough to make sure Natalie was sleeping peacefully.
As he watched over her, Jack's reminder about Joe's words of wisdom echoed through his mind. “Dad, I sure wish you were here right now.”
As soon as he whispered the words, another memory came crashing back. A few days after their father's passing, the family attorney had informed the three brothers that Joe had entrusted him with three letters, one for each of his sons, to be delivered upon Joe's death. The lawyer had suggested they hold onto the letters until some point in time when they most needed their father's advice.
Evidently that time had come, because right now Tino was stuck at a crossroads with no idea which way to turn. Maybe he should see what Joe had to say.
He tiptoed across the room to where he'd taped the envelope on the back of a family picture he'd hung on the wall over his desk. On the way back out of the room, he paused by the bed.
“I love you, Natalie Kennigan.”
There, he'd said the words and felt better for admitting the truth, even if only to himself. Now, he needed to find a way to quit spinning his wheels and move forward. Because once he figured out who he wanted to be for the rest of his life, he might just find the courage to see if Natalie might want to share that life with him.
In the quiet of the room next door, he turned on the small lamp on the bedside table and studied his name on the envelope. “Okay, Dad, here goes.”
He pulled out his pocketknife and carefully slit open the envelope. He tried telling himself that he was moving slowly to make sure that he didn't damage the letter, but that was a lie. When Jack had read his own letter last year, he'd said it felt a bit like losing Joe all over again. Tino hadn't understood the sentiment at the time; now he did. This was the last conversation he and Joe would ever have.
That didn't stop him from unfolding the piece of plain white paper covered with Joe's familiar handwriting. He swiped at his eyes with the hem of his T-shirt because the blur of tears made it nearly impossible to decipher his father's message. By his third reading, every word in the letter was permanently etched in his memory.
Dear Tino,
I'm sorry, but if you're reading this, it looks like I won't be there to remind you regularly of how much I love you, son. Always have, always will.
Having said that, you came to us thinking you had to be perfect to earn your place in our hearts. That somehow you had to fit our image of who you should be. Don't tell my wife I said this, but my response to that whole idea is to simply say, “That's bullshit!”
The truth is that real love and acceptance are freely given and should not have to be earned. You walked in our door and filled our hearts with joy. We might not have given birth to you, son, but you and your brothers gave purpose and real meaning to our lives. It was that simple.
I get that your experiences before coming to live with us have left you cautious about letting people get too close.
It's not your fault that the idiot relatives who took you in after your folks died made you feel as if you weren't worthy to be part of their family. You should never have had to try to change who you are just to fit in. They were fools with small hearts with no room for anything but their own selfishness. The fault was always theirs, Tino, never yours.
When you finally meet the right woman, let her see the real you, the man you are meant to be and not some fictionalized, perfect you. If the lady is worthy of your heart, she'll love you, warts and all. You know, like Marlene loved me.
You have so much to offer others. Whatever you choose to do with your life, I know you'll make me proud.
Love,
Joe