Already His (The Caversham Chronicles - Book Two) (15 page)

“I certainly would
not
say I’m on a hunt,” Michael replied. “My uncle, though ill for many years, has only been in the ground a week. By my calculations I have two months and three weeks left to mourn the man.” When he saw that Randolph was puzzled by his words, he asked, “Who is it that is saying I’m on a ‘hunt?’”

“My wife heard through Lady Ennisdale, who heard it directly from Lady Knebworth. Since then, my lady wife has been pressing me to make an introduction to our Caroline.”

“My sister,” he grumbled. Damn her meddling soul. When he saw Sabrina next week, he would be sure to ring a peal on her ears about minding her own affairs. Suddenly the looks he and Elise received today while out made sense. The stares, the waves, the greetings he’d thought were given because of the lovely social butterfly in his company, were actually intended for him. Those title-hungry mamas couldn’t give a fig for Elise, they’d wanted
his
attention. The only reason he hadn’t been set upon by the charging hordes, must be because he’d just arrived fifteen minutes ago. Word of his arrival had likely just made the complete round of the room, and Randolph was the first brave soul to venture forth with a request for an introduction.

It looked as though he was in for a tedious night. He wondered how long this news had been working its way through the
ton
gossip vine. “Randolph, when did your wife heard this news?”

“She came to me two days ago in a winded frenzy. Wanted to know how well I knew you, then quickly imparted the gossip. Of course, I told her I was not going to go out of my way to foist our Caroline on you, but that should the moment arise....”

As the man droned on Michael thought back. If he hadn’t left Everly’s early last night, he was sure to have been hounded then. Today he’d been too busy to note until now the odd reactions he’d received. This also explained the mountain of cards and invitations waiting for his attention on his desk. They’d all arrived—every single one of them—in the last few days. Suddenly, the pieces of the puzzle fell into place, and he now understood. He had to call off his mother and sisters.

Taking a glance at Elise, noting her deep in conversation with a group of young people, and with Sinclair nowhere to be found, he pushed away from the wall. As long as he kept her within sight, he should be able to move around the room.

Meeting the girl would do no harm. He might even find her interesting. Thus accepting his fate and knowing Lady Caroline wouldn’t be the only debutante foisted on him this night, he said, “Let’s go meet your daughter, Randolph.”

E
lise spied Michael’s handsome form as he spoke with the Randolph girl. A stab of jealousy pierced her heart. She realized she couldn’t possibly be the only one who was interested in Michael for a husband. With him now in possession of a title older than her brother’s and a fortune nearly as large, it made him a very attractive target for those meddlesome, matchmaking matrons with available daughters. She quashed her jealousy and decided to enjoy the evening, at least until she could come up with a plan.

“My lady, would you like to dance?” asked a gentleman she’d been speaking to a few moments earlier. Mister something. Curran? Carroll? Carlyle? Turning what she’d hoped was her most radiant smile to him, she nodded and allowed him to escort her onto the floor.

During the entire dance as she whirled around the room, her gaze always returned to Michael. Hopefully it wasn’t too obvious to her partner. He was rather nice. If she could only remember his name.

But it really didn’t matter. After that dance came another with a different partner, and another after that. She soon tired and escaped the floor as her escort left to get her a punch. Outdoors, the air was much cooler with a slight breeze coming off the river. She stayed well within the light of the ballroom, but far enough away from the doors that she got the moment of privacy she desired.

From the moment she knew she was in love with Michael all those years ago, her heart had never wavered. Michael’s kiss last night gave her the spark of hope she’d yearned for. During the ride through the park that afternoon, she knew he meant to tell her the kiss meant nothing to him. But earlier tonight at the house his hands lingered on her shoulders when he’d placed her wrap about her. Then during their carriage ride here she felt him hold her protectively when the carriage hit a bump. His actions led Elise to think she could possibly be wrong, and that perhaps he
did
care.

Seeing him now with Lady Caroline Randolph was like a burning, painful blow. The other girl was beautiful, demure and feminine. She was everything Elise wasn’t.

“Might I give my lady a refreshment?” Michael’s familiar voice rang through her with welcome delight.

She turned her gaze to meet his, and gave him a weary smile. As she took the glass he offered, she said, “My last partner... um....” She dropped her voice to a whisper. “This is embarrassing for I cannot remember the young man’s name. He went to fetch one for me.”

“The young man that just left?” If Elise didn’t know better she’d think that Michael was laughing at her. “Mr. Carroll?”

“Yes. He’s a superb dancer and quite handsome as well.” She looked up at Michael. “ Do you know him?”

“Only casually. He’s a second son I believe. His father is a minor baron from Kent.”

“Yes, he said he was from Kent,” she said. “He seems rather nice.”

“Your brother would never agree,” Michael said, reminding her, “He has no title and no fortune. All he has to recommend him is his familial connection.”

She stared at him, her brow furrowing. Concern colored his voice as he asked, “What’s the matter? You seemed to be having a good time in there. You hardly sat out a dance during the orchestra’s last set.”

She sipped the punch he’d given her, thankful for the relief to her parched throat. “Nothing is the matter. I’m just tired and confused, that’s all.”

“Tired I can understand. But confused? Might I inquire as to why?”

She had to be honest with him, because in the end it was what she desired from him. “Yes, but....” She looked around to make certain they weren’t being spied upon before continuing, “I don’t know if you can help me.”

“I’m certain I can,” he offered. “There’s no problem so large I wouldn’t attempt to eliminate it for you.”

“What if
you
are the problem?” she said in a voice just above a whisper.

“Ah, I see,” he replied.

She wondered if he really did. “Well, I’m glad you do, because I surely don’t.”

“Elise,” he began, “I wanted to talk to you about this earlier today, in the park, but then we were sidetracked with the kittens, and.... Well, I want to apologize again for my boorish behavior last night. It was wrong of me to....”

“No. It wasn’t. It wasn’t wrong of you, and I wish you would stop apologizing. I just want you to kiss me like that again. And again and again and again.”

He groaned and raked a hand through his thick mane. She sensed his unease with her revelation. It looked like he would rather be anywhere but where he was, that was how uncomfortable he looked. She turned away from him, and looked out over the Holderman’s manicured garden.

“I’m sorry. I should never have said that. One day I hope to master keeping my tongue. It’s a virtue I’ve lacked since first learning to speak.” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the traces of a smile tinge the corners of his lips. She felt the color rise in her face as she realized that he of all people knew of her inability to hold her thoughts. “Of course you know that.”

“All too well, my lady.” His profile was beautiful against the glow of the chandeliers spilling out from open doors. “Though I never found your openness and honesty an undesirable trait.”

“Do you see? Herein lies the problem, my lord. We’re dancing around this thing... this relationship if you will, that we are each perceiving differently.” She hoped his continued silence meant he was actually considering her words. “I think you know where I stand. I can’t possibly make it more clear than I have for all these years. And, before you ridicule me, I
have
taken my brother’s words to heart, and tried to temper my emotions, hold my tongue, and all manner of other things I’m supposed to do. I do this to show you all that I have matured out of some school-girl infatuation.”

She looked up at him and asked, “Have you ever felt strongly about something? Or known something to be so absolutely right and true in your deepest heart without ever knowing
how
it could be that you know it?”

He gave a slight nod as he stared off over the rail behind her.

“That’s how I feel. And try as I might, I cannot come up with a way to explain it to myself. I just live with it and will likely continue to do so.” She leaned over the balustrade, feigning attention at something on the lawn below. She spoke to him in a voice so low she barely heard herself, “Except each day gets more and more painful.”

When he still did not reply, Elise realized he didn’t hold any affection for her other than a brotherly sort. “Of course, now that you know all this, you’ll no doubt hie yourself back to your office or whatever hole you hid in the last time and I won’t see you again for months and months.” The knot in her throat grew more painful, and her voice cracked as she spoke, but she had to speak her mind. She knew no other way.

“Elise, you are my best friend’s little sister.” The tension was evident in his voice. “I’m afraid what I feel for you cannot be....” He struggled for the right word. “Cultivated. I would lose the esteem, and thus the friendship of your brother, for he would certainly think me dishonorable for feeling the things I do about you.”

A tiny glimmer of hope began to flicker in her heart. “Then you felt it too, last night.”

He nodded curtly, his expression grim and resolved. “But I will have to deny myself—and you as well—for my devotion and promise to your brother must take precedent over what I’ve come to feel for you.”

“But why? What promise? Explain it to me so I can understand,” Elise demanded. “Is it the age difference? If so, just look around us! Men marry younger brides. My brother is one of them. He’s the same age as you and Lia is just a year older than I. Surely
he
will understand. Papa was old enough to be Amelia’s father yet they loved each other very much.”

Michael shook his head. He was fighting this. It was obvious to even the blindest person. And she was tired of battling him. Even Napoleon knew when he’d lost the war. “Well, then,” she whispered. “I’ve tried.”

She took two steps back toward the ballroom, stopped, and turned to face him again. “You’d best return to the anxious mamas and their perfect daughters, for every one of them thinks you’re making plans to fill a nursery.”

Elise plastered a smile on her face and went back to the party. She would force herself to at least pretend to enjoy the remainder of the evening no matter how much she hurt. Throughout the night the squeezing pain in her breast grew, several times threatening to force her to tears. But she would not allow herself to cry here. Tears were something she reserved for the solitude of her bedroom. When she was alone.

L
ady Beatrice Sewell, upon seeing the saddened state of her grand-daughter
and
the distressed state of Lord Camden after their return to the ballroom, vowed—if only to herself—to do everything within her power to bring these two people, who obviously loved each other a great deal, together.

Even if the gentleman in question was a stubborn dunderhead.

C
HAPTER
S
IX

E
lise felt as though her head had been split in two by a woodsman’s ax. Burying her face beneath her pillow to keep the sunlight from penetrating her eyelids, she tried one more time to summon the energy to rise from her bed. The day had to be well on toward noon, and still she couldn’t bring herself to face her family. By now Michael would have come to have breakfast with her brother as was his habit on days when they worked. With the quiet mood she’d been in when they arrived home, Ren was likely to ask her questions. And if her responses didn’t match her grandmother, Beverly, and Michael’s responses, there would be even more questions and then another lecture on her behavior.

It was too much to deal with right then. Her eyes felt swollen and her nose was surely reddened from all the indelicate and unladylike blowing she’d done overnight. Unless she desired to be frightened, she dared not look into a mirror.

She heard the door whisper open and soft footsteps move about the room. It was likely her maid. The footsteps neared the bed and backed away. Elise was sure Bridget thought her still sleeping. She just wanted to be alone so she could figure out how best to proceed with the inevitable line of questioning, so she feigned an unconscious state hoping her maid would leave the room.

“I know yer not sleepin’,” Bridget said.

Elise grumbled under the pillow.

“How do I know, ye ask?”

“Mmmm.”

“Because there’s two more kerchiefs on the floor. And I picked up the last half dozen before I left here an hour ago.” The maid huffed. “I wonder if there are any left in the drawer.”

Elise threw the pillow off her head and shielded her eyes from the light. “Is it possible to get some peace, quiet and dark?”