Alpha Wolf: Black Mesa Wolves #2 (Werewolf Shifter Paranormal Romance) (11 page)

He frowned. “Problem?”

“Yes. You haven't been honest with me, and I want to know
why.”

She kept her chin tipped up and hoped she looked unyielding.

He only looked perplexed. It made him even more lickable.
She stomped on the desire.

“About what?”

Sara took a deep breath. “About your new pack. When exactly
will you be leaving? And when did you plan to tell me? Or did you?”

Cocking her arms on her hips to give herself the will to not
cave in front of his damnably male self, even tapping her fingers for good
measure, she waited.

Shit. Rafe's wolf sat up. Rafe tried to force away images of
Sara's long, bare legs wrapping around his waist while he groped for the best
answer. The one that wouldn't get her madder at him than she already was.

“Sara,” he began.

“Rafe,” she immediately snapped back. Her fingers beat out a
staccato rhythm against her sides under the short, sassy little blue dress she
wore. He couldn't help notice the beautiful swell her hips made. All he wanted
to do was grab them and pull her close to him. Preferably on top of him, where
the dress would ride up to those sweet hips and expose every gorgeous inch of
her.

Instead, he ran a hand through his hair to rub his temples.
Just behind the beautiful she wolf glaring at him for all she was worth, Black
Mesa rose. Like Sara, the mesa seemed to accuse him of abandoning it.

His wolf let out the wolfish equivalent of a disgusted sigh
and poked a claw into his mind.

“Sara, I couldn't tell you. No one else is supposed to know
yet.”

“I'm not no one, Rafe.” He eyes and her voice both snapped.
“We're patrol mates, and—”

From the sharp way she cut herself off, he sensed something
running deeper and more furiously hot beneath her words.

He tried reasoning calmly yet directly, which usually worked
for him. “You don't seem to want to be someone for me.” Inside, he flinched at
the words. The knowledge still stung. “I wasn't supposed to tell anyone until
Alpha was ready to make the announcement.” He gave her a searching look. “How
did you find out?”

She flapped one hand dismissively. “That doesn't matter.
What does matter is all the confusion I'm getting from you.”

He couldn't help a short laugh. “From me? I've been clear.
What I don't understand is your temper right now.”

Wrong thing to say. That lit a fuse under her.

“Temper? My temper? Rafe, this is not about me being angry
that you didn't tell me you're leaving! You're
leaving!”

Repetition seemed to shock her into the truth of his
impending departure. Abruptly quiet, her posture shifted from crackling anger
to nonthreatening, nervous unease. The blonde locks Rafe again wanted to tangle
his hands into curled and waved over her shoulders and delicate neck. A few
strands blew over her eyes in the light breeze. She didn't swipe them away. Her
instant relaxation from aggression to more submission lowered his own defenses
as well.

After another long moment, he carefully tried again.

“I seem to keep screwing up with you, Sara. But I don't know
how to handle this.” He paused to uncharacteristically search for words. “You
said you weren't ready. You showed me you were weren't ready. So I backed
off—again—to let you do what you needed to do.”

A faint nod. She kept looking right at him, which just
slightly unnerved him and his wolf. He wasn't used to her being so direct.

“Alpha wants me to start up a new pack because it needs to
happen,” he said, keeping it simple. “He's our Alpha. I'll always obey his
commands, no matter what.”

She nodded again, a tiny tremble bobbing in her chin. It
still didn't seem like tears, however. Bothered that he couldn't place her
emotion, he continued.

“I need a mate, Sara.” The sentence hung stark between them.
“I can't run a new pack without one. And I have to start this pack soon. The
timing is critical.”

“Did you know when we first got together?”

“You mean last year? No. Alpha told me a few months ago.”

Her face dropped even more.

“When we were first put on patrol together.” The usual lilt
had left her voice.

Rafe blew out a long breath. He'd thought of that, too, but
only within the last week. It didn't remotely surprise him to finally put the
pieces together. His father was a brilliant strategist. He'd probably thought
Rafe and Sara would be good mates since they were pups. But he would never
force any such decision on any of his wolves. He'd maneuver them into place,
certainly. The final outcome had to be one of their own making, however.

An outcome Rafe was destroying with every wrong word and
move he was making. Maybe Caleb was right about him being a lame-ass alpha. If
he couldn't convince Sara of his completely honorable intentions—well, almost
honorable, considering he wanted to haul her inside, flip up that little skirt
of hers, and fling her sweet ass onto his bed—convincing other wolves to follow
him seemed to be getting farther out of his grasp as well.

His wolf's ears lowered at Rafe's dark thoughts.

“What do you want, Sara? He let the words ride the breeze
and swirl around them both. She bit her upper lip as she regarded him. The cogs
in her mind seemed to spin as he watched her. Finally breaking his glance, she
stared with intent at the not yet blooming lilac bush that crowded against his
deck railing. Reaching out to break off a piece, she worried it somewhat
savagely between her fingers.

Quietly, he waited, despite it being hard to maintain his
impassive face when he wanted to step forward and kiss the hell out of her.

Finally, she flicked her gaze back to his and spoke. A bit
more fire rippled through her voice this time, but the bounce and sparkle he
associated with Sara was still not quite there.

“What makes me angry is that you weren't open with me.
Look.” She sighed. “Yes, I like you a lot, okay?”

The rosy flush he enjoyed so much creeped through her face
as she said that. Rafe felt a gleam of hope he hadn't completely ruined every
chance with her.

“But I have to ask.” She paused before rushing out, “Did you
seduce me like that in the hot springs just because you need me to help you
with a new pack? Was that what you were looking for?”

His wolf reared back in distress at Sara's naked worry.

“What? No!”

Rafe stared at her and wondered how he'd gone from making
this sexy little vixen come on command to having her think he was some sort of
cruel puppet master.

Sara let his yell ring through her ears.

Just asking him that made her feel a bit like a whiny,
petulant child. Awesome. One sexy wolf she liked a little too much, and she
might turn into a pathetically needy girlfriend. Not that she was his
girlfriend. Although she could be his mate. Maybe.

Her wolf turned in anxious circles, just like Sara's mind.
An image of running and leaping filled her head, and she felt the small wolfish
push that always meant she was getting too tripped up by her own thoughts.

Okay. Time to rephrase. Somehow she'd have to stumble her
way through it.

Opening her mouth, she just let out whatever words would come.
“I'm not that girl, Rafe,” she said softly. “I told you commitment isn't my
style. And I want to prove myself on my own terms. And....”

He waited. She noticed he'd crossed his arms over his chest.
Which was a shame because it really was a nice, broad, well-defined masculine
chest. Which led down to a sculpted waist. Which led to...strong legs, which
were spread a bit apart to root his stance to the ground. Muscular thighs
filled out the jeans, leading up to the spot between his legs where she knew temptation
hung thick and beautiful. Unfortunately, temptation remained hidden behind
denim.

Swallowing, she looked back at his face. Now an eyebrow was
cocked. She hurried on.

“Rafe, I can't just be something for you to use, to—”

“That is not at all—”

“This would have to involve both of us.” She let her voice
pitch over his. He subsided and gestured for her to go on with a sharp
inclination of his golden head. “You didn't even think to ask me.”

“Because I knew you would bolt.”

She twisted her lips. Right. He did know her.

“This is my pack, Rafe. I thought it was yours, too. I
thought you would be the alpha here someday.”

Her wolf rubbed her coat along the edges of Sara's mind in
encouragement and understanding. She tried again, attempting to not sound quite
so needy.

“You asked what I want. This is what I want.” She waved her
arms around them to include the pack den, the expanse of distant mountains,
brilliant blue sky, a hawk crying in the distance, the two of them. “This is
home, and this is where I'm supposed to be, and this is where and how I'm
making my place. I'm ready to do more, to
be
more.”

She paused as those last words sank in. Rafe stood
motionless and still mostly expressionless, although she thought a darkness
skipped across his face.

“Spending time with you makes me smile. And more.” Of course
she blushed at that admission. This time, she could swear a flash of
satisfaction swept across his face before he schooled it back into that
self-contained Rafe mask. “But this is too much, too soon. I want—I need to get
the ground under me. Does that make sense? I just barely realized I want to be
stronger on my own. I can't take on another role right now.”

She didn't have to add,
And I'm not ready yet.

About five lifetimes later, he nodded. Then he glanced at
the phone still clutched in his hand.

“Okay. We have to go. Are we good for the moment?”

Sara swallowed past what seemed to be an enormous dry
expanse in her mouth.

“That's it?” she said softly. “That's all you have?”

The expression on his face matched the blackness of his
shirt.

“It's all I have to give right now, Sara.”

Coldness spread through her as she nodded back at him. All
the fight drained out of her, all the desire to do battle and engage him
somehow. Right. He was leaving. It didn't matter that he hadn't told her
before. She wanted to prove herself. Well, she was getting her chance.

She was only realizing right now, though, that she'd wanted
to prove herself to
him.

Chapter
8

The chaos in Sara's mind felt muted and distant as she
leaned toward the mirror a little. Frowning at her reflection, she dabbed at
her lower lip with the applicator until the color was just right. Finally
satisfied, she smacked her lips together and blew herself a kiss. Then she
stuck her tongue out at her reflection and turned away.

The all day patrol had exhausted her, and not simply because
it was long and fruitless. They'd met up with the other Guardians, Caleb and
his patrol partner, who'd scented the strange wolves at the far southwestern
boundaries of Pack territory. None of them could pinpoint the origin of the
scent. Sara still thought it was rogues, but Rafe hadn't been as certain.
Whoever it was had crept near their boundary line, which although invisible to
the human eye was clearly delineated to a wolf's senses. All four had returned
to the den close to sunset, made their report to their grimly silent Alpha, and
scattered to their own evening pursuits.

Rafe had excused himself with just a nod good evening at
Sara, although he'd stayed back to speak privately with his father.

She'd come home with a raging headache, confusion still
ricocheting throughout her. She knew of only one good way to make it all
disappear. Her old stand-by solution: time to hit the bars in town and rustle
up a little action. Losing herself in the embrace of some human cowboy had
always been a fun release from anything and everything. Rafe was a whole lot of
everything, and he was making her crazy with the “come here, come here, go away
go away” routine. She'd had enough of it. Beside, it was Friday. Plenty of
people would be out on the town.

Her wolf rested somewhere deep in her mind where Sara
couldn't clearly sense her presence. Despite the unease that created, she
ignored it. Rafe couldn't give her what she wanted, anyway. There were way too
many strings attached there.

Right?

Several time she picked up her phone to call Lily. Each time
she put it back down again. Lily wouldn't want to go out without Kieran, which
just wasn't like the old days. Besides, Lily seemed to be on Team Rafe. She
wouldn't judge Sara's motives, but she wouldn't exactly approve, either.

Nope, tonight Sara was flying solo until she met just the
right guy to just take her to sweet oblivion. Who needed a hot blond wolf
shifter with massive issues when she could just pick up some random guy in
town? No muss, no fuss. Twisting her lips, she forced herself to believe that
thought.

With one last look in the full-length mirror, she nodded in
satisfaction. Tiny black skirt, mid-riff baring top, and outrageously sexy red
pumps. She was ready for action, on her own terms. Grabbing her phone, keys,
i.d., and money, she headed out to her car. Resolutely, she ignored the fact
her wolf seemed to be ignoring her.

Rafe fished out his phone for the fourth time that evening, looked
at the screen, and shoved it back in his pocket. The rumble of laughter, the
smack of a cue stick against the ball followed by disappointed groans, and the
ceaseless clinks of glass against glass from behind the hopping bar all
provided a welcoming background of noise. The day hadn't gone as he'd planned.
That and no calls or texts from Sara made him short-tempered.

“Hey.” Caleb snapped his fingers in front of Rafe's eyes.
“Did you hear what I just said?”

Rafe dragged his gaze to his brother's rugged face, which
was lit by an edgy grin. Caleb was itching for a bar fight to get out the
energy he'd hoped to expend on busting some rogue ass today. The fact they not
only couldn't find but couldn't even identify the scent of the strange wolves
sniffing around their territory today had gotten under Caleb's ruff like a
nasty burr. Rafe already felt sorry for the fool who decided to take on the
barely contained rage of a wolf denied his prey. The Last Locomotive, one of
the rougher bars in town, catered mostly to townies. The bar's motto of “Come
on in and blow off a little steam” fit both their moods tonight.