Alone (A Bone Secrets Novel) (12 page)

The abrupt topic shift sent Seth’s beer down the wrong pipe and triggered a coughing fit. Callahan unhelpfully pounded him on the back.

“Tori?”

Callahan’s face lit up. “Yeah, how in the hell do you get away with calling her Tori? Most guys I know don’t dare call her anything but
Doctor
Peres. But you strolled in and used some cutesy nickname to her face. And she didn’t even flinch.”

“We’ve known each other since college. Well, we’ve lost touch over the years. But we were close once.”

“She’s close to no one.”

Seth’s heart hurt at that statement. “Maybe you don’t know her that well.”

Callahan nodded. “I’ll give you that. But I’ve asked around at the medical examiner’s office. The woman doesn’t have anything to do with any of them outside of the office. Even little Dr. Campbell, Lacey, doesn’t know much about her.”

“She’s always been a private person.”

“I know she was married at one point. A college professor, I believe.”

Seth nodded. When they’d crossed paths at that conference years back, she’d had a ring on her finger and they’d talked about their respective spouses. He hadn’t asked her what had happened to the marriage. Yet. “Yes, I don’t know how that ended.”

“She’s tough.”

“Can you blame her?” Seth clamped his teeth together. He’d said too much. If this cop didn’t know Tori’s history, it was because Tori didn’t want people knowing her past. It was no business of his to share her story.

Callahan’s gaze sharpened, and Seth felt him shift into cop interview mode. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Forget it. If you know nothing about her, then that’s how she wants it. But maybe you haven’t given her a chance. The Tori I know took a bit of digging to understand. Have you ever put any effort into talking to her? Have you ever asked her a question outside of a case?”

Callahan stared at him. “I don’t recall.”

“Probably not. Next time ask her what she does in her spare time. And don’t let her push you away. It’s a natural reaction. Keep at her and I promise you’ll be surprised at what you find under that cool exterior.”

“You do know her.”

“I know her well enough to understand she was dealt a shitty hand a long time ago. A few hands, actually. She grew those prickly defense spines for a reason. A good reason.”

Callahan looked fascinated. “Holy shit. The ice doctor has a history. And you were part of it, weren’t you?”

“Fuck off.”

Callahan grinned. “You aren’t the uptight medical examiner you pretend to be, are you?”

“Uptight? I seem uptight?” Seth didn’t know how to take that.

“Sure. The morgue is your kingdom, right? No one has the right to question your skills?”

Annoyance bubbled up in his chest, and he fought the urge to tell the detective off. Instead he counted to five and stared down the detective, comprehension dawning. “Jesus Christ. You had me going there. Did you think I’d spill Tori’s history because you pissed me off?”

“Ah, it was worth a shot.” Callahan winked at him and finished his beer.

Seth chuckled. “I don’t ever want to sit across the interview table from you.”

“A bar works just as well sometimes. You’d be surprised what people want to reveal. They’re usually looking for an excuse to talk.”

“Tori’s story is her own. Get to know her, and maybe she’ll let you in on it.”

“But my understanding is that you two haven’t seen each other in a long time. Maybe you aren’t the Victoria expert you think you are.” Callahan pointed at Seth’s chest.

The detective had a good point. There was a lot Seth didn’t know about the woman he’d once planned to spend the rest of his life with. If he was going to stay in Portland, he and Tori needed to talk.

But would she ever let him inside her walls again?

Eighteen years ago

His hands shook. Seth stopped and held them out in front of him, palms down. Definite shakes. They looked like he’d been drinking for hours; he
felt
like he’d been drinking for hours, but was experiencing only the bad effects, not the good. He shoved his hands in his coat pockets, continuing down the sidewalk, pushing through the rain. It wasn’t cold outside, but damn, he couldn’t get warm. He wanted to vomit.

A night of tossing and turning and stressing and thinking had left him exhausted. He’d skipped his classes today, unable to focus. The rest of the day wasn’t going to get better. He’d
asked Tori to meet him at the coffee shop, the same place he’d first approached her eight months ago. Eight months. It’d been a whirlwind. His senior year had sped by with top grades and a gorgeous, smart girl on his arm. He’d been accepted to the Stanford School of Medicine, and Tori planned to follow in a few years. They knew the path was going to be hard and lean, but they were excited to do it together.

But a wrench had just shattered their plans, and he had to tell Tori today.

Just tell her. Tell her and be done with it. You have no choice.

Some people would say he had a choice. He didn’t have to do what he was about to do. But Seth knew if he ever wanted to look himself in the eye, he had to make the right choice. His life wasn’t the only one at stake. There was an innocent involved and he had an obligation.

He would be a better man than his father.
His sperm donor.

That was the type of man Seth would never be. His father had walked out on him when he was two, leaving Seth’s mother with no means of support. Seth’s biological father was the perfect model of the deadbeat dad. No courts hunted down child support. If they had, it would have been impossible to squeeze money out of a man with none. Growing up, Seth had lied to his friends, saying his father had died when he was an infant. His father never turned up to prove him wrong. He’d spent a few sleepless nights, worrying he’d be caught in the lie, but it never happened. His mother didn’t remarry. She’d been crushed by her husband’s deception. Her life became a stereotype of depression and alcohol, and she decided she couldn’t handle a teenager.

Seth went to live with his mother’s brother, whom he’d never met. Dave was single. He’d grudgingly taken the boy, angry at Seth’s father for abandoning and mentally destroying his sister.

“Your mother was always a little soft,” he’d told Seth when they met. “I knew nothing good was going to come out of her shacking up with that asshole father of yours. But now here you are. Let’s see if we can make a man out of you.”

For a man with no children, Dave knew how to parent. Tough love, hard work, and responsibility were daily constants in Seth’s new life. Coming from a childhood with no guidelines, Seth flourished under Dave’s rules. They had their fights, of course, but Seth had always ached for attention from an adult, and Dave filled that need. Seth’s previous life had been spent tiptoeing around his mother, avoiding tripping her triggers for depression or anger.

Seth thrived. And grew to recognize the type of person his father had been. Dave was his father’s opposite. Dave was involved. Dave gave a shit about Seth’s life. Dave taught him to focus his excess energy into swimming, running, and hunting. Now, Seth no longer bounced off the walls at home and school; he could concentrate. And it turned out he was smart. Smart enough to breeze through high school and collect great grades. Smart enough to be accepted to Stanford and smart enough to appreciate what Dave had done in his life.

Yesterday a new path had opened up before him. His chance to make the difference in the life of a child who needed him. Like Dave had done for him. But the decision was going to hurt Victoria.

Seth stopped in front of the shop, staring at the door. She was inside, waiting for him to turn her life upside down. But Victoria was strong, he repeated in his head for the millionth time. Victoria wasn’t his mother. Victoria had the tools to continue and create a success with her life.

He sucked in a shuddering breath and opened the door. Warm coffee-scented air breezed over his face and he scanned the shop, his heart thudding in his chest.

There she was.

Beautiful. Elegant. His gaze rested on her face as she studied the text on her table. Just like she’d been doing the first time he’d built up the courage to approach her. Indecision washed over him.
Was he making a mistake?

As if she’d felt him watching, Tori glanced up. A warm smile filled her face and her eyes danced at the sight of him. Seth felt ill.

It’s a mistake. I can’t do it.

He’d called Dave in the middle of the night, wrestling with his decision. Dave had sympathized and slowly walked him through what he already knew. He’d never be able to live with himself or be a complete person for Tori if he followed in his father’s footsteps. He wouldn’t abandon his responsibilities. He gave Tori a weak smile and brushed the rain off his shoulders, moving toward her table.

How was she going to handle this?

Seth took her breath away. Victoria stared at the figure who’d just stepped through the door. He wore the slow half smile that always made her heart flip over. His gaze met hers and his smile grew wider. Then faltered.

She ran a nervous hand over her hair, her own smile weakening.

He brushed the rain off his jacket and moved across the room toward her, working his way between tables in the small shop. She watched him come, admiring the way he pulled the attention of every female in the room. He didn’t do anything on purpose; he was just one of those types of guys. He was athletic and casual. Perhaps the fact that he didn’t care about how he looked
to other women was what drew their eyes. Victoria immediately discarded the thought. No, she’d simply hooked a hottie. A smart, caring hottie. His looks really didn’t matter that much to her. What impressed her was inside, his strength of character, his kindness to everyone around him.

She studied him carefully. He’d been sick last night and bailed on their plans to take in a movie. She’d gone with two girlfriends, but had keenly felt his absence. This morning, he looked pale and his eyes were definitely red. Hopefully whatever bug he suffered from wasn’t contagious. She pushed her book out of the way and took a sip of coffee, noticing that her hands quivered.

Something was wrong
.

He wasn’t looking at her. Usually Seth was one big smile and flirting blue eyes. Now, his gaze was on the floor and the sides of his mouth were down. Maybe they should have met at his apartment if he was still sick. He stopped at her table, met her gaze, and Victoria’s stomach sank.

Oh Lord.
“What happened?” she whispered. Her fingers turned to ice.

He slumped down in a chair and looked at her, defeat showing in his face.

“Are you okay? Do you need to go back home?” The words tumbled out of her mouth. A tornado of disconnect spun through her chest, making it hard to breathe. She’d never seen Seth look so miserable. He leaned forward, grasped her hands and pulled them across the table, gripping tightly.

“We need to talk.”

Were there any worse words from your boyfriend’s mouth? The phrase triggered Victoria’s inner walls to rise, protecting and guarding her heart, and her brain shifted into an eerie calm.
Every physical and emotional defense in her body shot into high gear.
It’s bad.
Her icy hands clenched into fists inside his grip.

A woman knows. She didn’t have to experience a breakup to know one was about to happen. Seth’s eyes pleaded with her to listen, his hands squeezing hers. Victoria was in listening mode, but that didn’t mean she was in understanding mode.

“What happened?” she asked again.

“Remember Jennifer?” Seth asked.

Victoria nodded, her gut clenching, acid burning. Jennifer was Seth’s old girlfriend from home in Arizona. She’d cheated on him, they’d broken up, and she’d had a baby with her new boyfriend. The woman had moved on quickly. Victoria knew he’d been stung over the cheating and the fast move to another man.

“You knew she had that baby girl?”

Victoria nodded, unease creeping up her spine. A shrill voice inside her head started to scream.
No, Seth, no!
The baby had been born about a month after Victoria and Seth had gotten together.

“The baby is mine. I didn’t know. She always swore it was Pete’s. He finally had a paternity test, and Eden isn’t his daughter. They’ve broken up and now she says Eden is mine.” His eyes pleaded with her, begging her not to judge him.

Victoria breathed out a sigh of relief, stress flooding out of her body. “She’s lying. Of course she says it’s your baby, but that doesn’t mean that it is! We’ll get you tested and prove that she’s lying to you just like she lied to the other guy.” The words rushed out of her mouth.

A false alarm.

Seth was shaking his head. “No, I already had a test done. She told me last week, and I immediately thought the same as you. I laughed it off and went to have my blood drawn here in town. Her doctor called me with the results last night.” He
crushed her fingers. “I haven’t slept since she called; I’ve had to figure out what to do.”

Victoria tried to pull her hands away. “What do you mean, what to do? You don’t have to do anything. She dumped you. She chose another guy over you. Why do you need to fix this?” Clanging bells pealed in Victoria’s brain.