Almost Summer (4 page)

“We wouldn’t want that,” she said, stepping back. Only it was
exactly what she wanted, she thought as she took her seat. After years of
wondering why she couldn’t be like her friends and fall madly in love, she found
herself intrigued by a handsome stranger who would never want to settle down in
one place.

In theory she wanted to see the world, so they should be the
perfect match. Only, so far, all her dreams of travel had turned out to be cheap
talk. Hardly the kind of character to inspire the interest of a man who actually
did what he said.

Chapter Five

The Fool’s Gold Spring Festival lived up to its
reputation, Alistair realized as he and Paige strolled through the crowded
streets. There were booths selling everything from jewelry to meditation CDs.
Food was everywhere. Although it was only ten in the morning, tourists munched
on hot dogs and cotton candy. Paige had promised him the best funnel cake this
side of the Rockies. He wasn’t sure what to expect as, from what he’d seen, the
treat was neither funnel-shaped, nor especially cakelike. But he was willing to
trust his hostess.

“We have to get in position for the parade,” she said, grabbing
his hand and pulling him toward the center square.

“There’s a parade?”

“Of course. It’s fairly unorganized. Kids on bikes and people
sitting in the back of convertibles. One of the fire trucks gets decorated with
ribbons and flowers.” She grinned. “My friend Charlie is a firefighter. She
hates events like this. As she puts it, every holiday is a chance for people to
be stupid. But she loves telling kids about fire safety and enjoys showing them
the equipment.”

Alistair frowned. “So she’s both happy and frustrated?”

“Charlie is a bit of a contradiction.”

“It appears so.”

“Did I mention the goats?” she asked.

He stared at her, wanting to get lost in her hazel eyes. He had
to force himself to pay attention to the conversation. “No. I would have
recalled goats. Are they part of the festival?”

“They’re in the parade. My friend Heidi owns them. She’s the
one you flashed. She makes cheese and soap.”

“Is that what’s in my shower?”

“It is. Goat soap. It’s very mild and useful for several skin
conditions.”

“I did not know that.” Information he might be able to use when
he traveled. Another way to help his patients.

“You do now.” She tugged him along. “Hurry or all the best
spots will be taken.”

He allowed her to pull him behind her. Her long hair fluttered
in the slight breeze. She’d traded in jeans for a summery dress that left her
shoulders and legs bare. Temptation, he thought, wondering how wrong it would be
for him to give in to the steady pulsing desire.

Since Sara’s death, there had been women. Casual relationships
that had more to do with biology than emotion. He’d assumed that he wouldn’t
find anyone to engage his heart again. Losing his family had been
devastating.

But with Paige, the stirring went deeper than simple lust.
While he would admit to wanting her in his bed, he had fantasies that had
nothing to do with her body and everything to do with her mind…and her
heart.

He liked talking to her. She was endlessly curious. She
appeared to be accepting, without judgment, and she was always ready to laugh.
When she’d looked at the pictures of some of his patients on his phone, she’d
reminded him that he was fortunate to change lives with what he did. She’d
reminded him to be grateful for his training and skill.

They came to a stop by several shops. The crowd was only a few
people deep in this part of town. In the distance he heard what he would swear
was a marching band.

Baskets of flowers hung from streetlights. Banners and ribbons
fluttered in the breeze. The sky was blue and the temperature perfect in the
seventies. But what caught his attention were the people. He saw a group of
parade-watchers part to allow a family with small children room to go to the
front. Once there, the stroller was positioned on the street, right by the curb.
The mother sat down next to her baby, while a toddler was lifted onto his
father’s shoulders.

There wasn’t any pushing or shoving, nothing but laughter and
smiles. Two teenagers giggled as they texted friends. An older couple whispered
to each other.

This was normal, Alistair thought. Familiar. Unlike the life
he’d been living since Sara and his daughter’s deaths. He’d been on the
go—constantly moving from country to country. Despite his parents’ phoning him
on his-mobile and asking him to visit, he’d stayed busy and far away.

As he stood next to Paige, waiting for the small-town parade,
he realized he hadn’t just been fighting the measles and exhaustion. His illness
had gone much deeper—down to his heart. He’d been unable to face his own
devastation. Unable to accept how much he’d been responsible. He’d been running
so fast, he hadn’t had time to stop and look around. He hadn’t had time to
heal.

Paige had offered him more than a bed for his body—she’d given
him a refuge for his soul. Her gentle kindness had made him realize it was time
to look forward. While he would never forget those he’d lost, he was finally
ready to start living again.

“There they are,” Paige said pointing. “The one in front is
Athena. Oh, look at the ribbons! She’s so beautiful.”

Alistair saw a perfectly ordinary goat with ribbons around her
neck. Ribbons Athena was busy trying to eat. But in Paige’s mind, the goat was
beautiful. Because that’s how Paige would see everything. Her worldview allowed
her to see what could be rather than what was. She’d truly been given a gift in
that regard.

He put his arm around her and drew her close. She leaned into
him, then raised her head and smiled at him. As he stared into her hazel eyes,
he knew she had given him a gift. A second chance. He owed her and he needed to
make sure that, before he left, he did something for her as well.

* * *

“You don’t mind?” Paige asked.

The parade had been spectacular, as always. Animals and antique
cars, although her favorite part was the kids on bikes. She loved watching them
ride past—so excited to be a part of the day.

“I’m honored you’ve asked me to accompany you,” Alistair told
her.

“It won’t take long.”

“I have nowhere else I’d rather be.”

The words, along with his yummy accent, made her insides get
all twisty. “You’re too kind.”

“I’m not, but I’m glad you think I am.”

He took her hand as they crossed the street. They each held a
bouquet of colorful tulips in the other hand. Once they reached the park, they
walked around to the far side and the small cemetery by the church.

Alistair offered her the flowers he carried and waited by the
gate as she went inside. Sophia’s grave, marked by a small, modest headstone,
stood at the edge of a beautiful garden. She’d picked the space and the marker
herself. Because she took care of Paige, even after she was gone.

Paige placed the flowers on the grass, then knelt down. As
always, she felt the loving presence of the woman who had raised her. But this
time, there was a difference. An urging, as if a message were being
communicated.

Paige wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but, after a while,
strong hands settled on her shoulders. Alistair drew her to her feet and then
wiped the tears from her eyes.

“I can’t go,” she whispered, her mouth trembling. “I promised
her I would follow my dreams. That I would travel. I stayed because she was old
and I wanted to be here for her and now that she’s gone, I can’t leave.”

She pressed her hands together. “I don’t know what’s wrong with
me. She wouldn’t want this. She wouldn’t want me living such a small life. We
had dreams together and I swore I would make them happen.”

“You will.”

“You don’t know that. I haven’t yet.”

“You’re afraid.”

She nodded slowly, knowing he’d found the truth on his first
try. “As I said, Aunt Sophia would be very disappointed in me.”

He lightly kissed her forehead. “You couldn’t be more
wrong.”

Alistair led her back through town. Paige let herself be taken
to the house where she’d grown up. He settled her in the backyard, and brought
her a glass of iced tea, then sat next to her and held her hand.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured. “I’m supposed to be taking care of
you.”

“I’m all better now.”

She smiled. “It’s a casserole miracle.”

He leaned toward her. “Paige, you’ll get there. Losing someone
you love is difficult. You’ve been through a lot. Don’t be so hard on
yourself.”

She nodded, knowing he was right and it would do her well to
listen. She was about to tell him that when his cell phone rang.

He pulled it out of his pocket and took the call.

“Woodbury.” He paused, then smiled. “Hello, Simon. Yes, the
doctor was here.” His smile faded and his gaze settled on her. “Ah, of course.
You’re right. It’s been too long already.”

There was more, but Paige wasn’t listening. Simon wanted
Alistair to move in with him and Montana. It made sense. They were the people
he’d come to see in the first place. It wasn’t as if he were going to live with
her forever. Still, she’d thought…hoped…they would have more time together.

When he hung up, she forced herself to smile. “Simon finally
believes it’s OK for you to be around Montana?”

He nodded. “I have been pronounced measles-free. He suggested I
return to his place. I have imposed on your hospitality long enough.”

“You’ve been a good guest.”

“Speaking in my sleep while recovering from a fever?”

“It was refreshing to play nurse. Plus, I got that mac and
cheese. That made everything worth it.”

She spoke lightly, not wanting him to know how much she was
going to miss him. Alistair was the first man she’d been attracted to in a very
long time. The first man she’d imagined she might be able to fall in love with.
When he talked about all the places he’d been, he made her dreams seem
possible.

She stood. “You’d better get to your packing.”

He rose and looked at her. “Paige,” he began, then shook his
head. “I haven’t the words to thank you.”

“No words are necessary.”

A kiss would be nice, she thought. Not that he was offering.
But she wouldn’t say no if he did.

Alistair nodded and headed for the house. Paige watched him go.
Rather than wasting her time on what might be, she needed to remember what was.
All this time she’d been worrying about disappointing her aunt Sophia. Perhaps
it was time to start thinking about how she’d also disappointed herself.
Alistair had reminded her of what was important to her. Now it was her turn to
act on that information and to make some changes.

Chapter Six

Paige spent the afternoon catching up on her laundry
and sorting through the food left in her refrigerator. She’d sent most of the
casseroles with Alistair when Simon had come to pick him up. She looked through
what was left and froze most of it. With luck, she wouldn’t have to cook for a
couple of weeks. Around four, she headed for the fire station, ready to catch up
on any paperwork that had accumulated since she’d been busy with her houseguest.
While someone else filled in to answer the phone, she was the one who took care
of writing letters and making sure all the bills were forwarded to the municipal
accounting office.

She was done by seven and started the short walk back to her
place.

The evening was clear and cooling off rapidly. The Spring
Festival would continue the next day, so the vendors had left their booths in
the center of town. A band played in the square and Paige listened to the music
as she walked.

She was both restless and confused. Confused because she
usually loved her life and suddenly nothing felt right. It was as if her skin no
longer fit. She breathed in the scent of flowers and cut grass and knew that
most of her problem came from Alistair being gone. In a few short days, she’d
grown used to having him around. She looked forward to their conversations and
spending time with him. Without him, she didn’t know what to do with
herself.

“Ridiculous,” she murmured aloud. All she had to do was
remember what she’d done with herself two weeks ago. How hard could that be?

She rounded the corner of her street and started toward her
house. As she walked closer, something moved on the porch. A man stood, as if
he’d been waiting.

Her heart fluttered, her breathing quickened and it was all she
could do to keep from flying the last few feet.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, aware that she sounded
breathless.

“Montana tires easily,” Alistair told her. “Simon and I have
caught up and I thought I would leave the two of them alone for a few hours.” He
paused and stared into her eyes. “Plus, I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too.”

“When I arrived here and you were gone, I wondered if you were
out on a date.”

“I put in a couple of hours at work at the fire station.”

Relief eased the tension in his face. “Good to know.” He held
up the computer case he held. “I have a plan.”

“I can’t wait to hear what it is.”

Fifteen minutes later, his computer was sitting on the dining
room table. Next to it was a large map of Europe and a pad of paper. Paige had
poured them each a glass of wine. She handed him one and then looked at
everything he’d brought.

“I don’t understand.”

“All you have to do is take the first step,” he told her. “Plan
the first trip. The rest will follow.”

She knew he was right, yet instead of agreeing, she set down
her wine and tucked her hands behind her back. “I can’t.”

He put his glass next to hers and put his hands on her
shoulders. “We’ll do this together. You don’t have to be afraid.”

She didn’t deny the obvious. That she
was
afraid. What was the point? But for all his claims of their
doing anything together, the truth was she would leave on the trip by
herself.

What had seemed so glamorous in theory was suddenly lonely.
Looking into Alistair’s eyes, she realized that she’d always assumed there would
be someone with her when she traveled the world. Sophia, or a nameless, faceless
friend.

Alistair pulled two chairs close together and urged her to sit
in one. He took the other, then typed into his computer’s browser. A picture of
Paris appeared on the screen.

“I suggest you start with a more traditional destination,” he
began. “Paris, or London. With a Eurail Pass, you can explore the rest of Europe
at your own pace. You have to see Rome. Now I’ve taken the liberty of suggesting
a few itineraries.”

He clicked a couple of keys and a list came up. The title was
Paris, followed by a list of places to go, including several walking tours.

“This is a museum most people overlook,” he told her. “Yes, the
Louvre is important, but I think you’ll enjoy this one as well.”

He continued talking, explaining about a Saturday morning
market he favored and how she could be in Italy in time for the grape harvest.
His voice washed over her, making her see the journey he had planned. Finally,
he turned to her.

“I know this is what you want,” he told her. “What Sophia
wanted for you. You’ve been missing her, which shows how much you loved her. Now
it’s time to take a step forward.”

He took her hand in his. “I know what I’m talking about. I’ve
spent the last few years beating myself up for being gone when I lost my family.
I’ve been unable to release the past and move on. You’ve helped me get unstuck.
I want to return the favor.”

His eyes were the most remarkable color of blue, she thought
hazily. She could stare into them forever. If only he would come with her. If
only…

There it was again, she thought. A reason to delay. A reason to
say, “Not today.” She was twenty-six. Would she find excuses until she was
thirty? Forty? Would she reach sixty and then say she was too old?

Her heart told her Alistair might be the one. That she could
easily fall in love with him. But he wasn’t offering anything beyond travel
advice and if she didn’t act now, she would be stuck for who knows how long.

“Do you think if I fly out of San Francisco, I could get a
direct flight?” she asked.

Alistair laughed and squeezed her fingers. “I knew you’d
understand. Let’s see what flights are available.”

Over the next couple of hours, they looked at airlines and
itineraries. Paige knew she had to give her employers some notice before flying
off to Europe for several months. Finding someone to rent her house while she
was gone would help with expenses as well. But by the time she walked Alistair
to the door, she had a plan and a list of inexpensive hotels where she could
stay. She was giving herself four weeks to pull it all together and then she was
leaving. No matter what.

Alistair reached for the door, then paused. He cupped her face
in his hand and bent down to kiss her. The soft touch healed and aroused in
equal measure, leaving her breathless. She wanted more, she thought, letting her
eyes drift closed. She wanted more than a few hours with the man who pressed his
lips to hers.

What was it Aunt Sophia had always said? If wishes were horses
then beggars would ride. If…

She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave herself over to
the kiss. If this wasn’t to be, then she would store memories and take them out
to savor later on. Like her first trip to Europe. When she was old, she would
sit in the sun with her friends and talk about the handsome, charming viscount
she’d once known.

He moved his mouth against hers. He tasted of the wine they’d
shared and something slightly more tempting. His body was strong and hard
against hers. She leaned into him, letting her breasts nestle against his chest.
He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close.

When his tongue touched her bottom lip, she parted her lips for
him. The kiss deepened, grew more intimate. Need pulsed in time with her
heartbeat and she felt herself growing weak with longing. But before she could
decide if she wanted to take Alistair upstairs, he drew back.

He pressed his mouth to her cheeks and her nose, then lightly
touched his lips to hers.

“Good night, Paige,” he whispered, and then he was gone.

* * *

“You’re not listening.” Simon made the statement
conversationally.

Alistair shook his head. “I’m sorry,” he said automatically. “I
was thinking.”

“Not about work.”

“How do you know?”

“I’m not sure,” his friend admitted. “I’ve seen you when you’re
thinking about where you’re going next and you didn’t have that look.”

They were in Simon’s study. It was late and Montana had gone to
bed hours ago. She was due in a few short weeks and her body needed the
rest.

“We aren’t nearly as brave as the women in our lives,” Alistair
said. “What they do for us. Bearing children. I doubt that I could.”

Simon grinned. “Excluding the biological issues.”

Alistair laughed. “Yes. Of course. It’s a huge commitment of
resources. And yet they do it cheerfully, again and again.”

Sara had been thrilled when she’d discovered that she was
pregnant. He had been happy as well, but unable to stay in England. He’d had
commitments. He’d wanted her to go with him, but she’d needed to be near her
family and her doctor. Perhaps when the baby was older, she’d said, but he’d
known even then that she had no intention of ever leaving the quiet village
where she’d always lived.

He’d gone without her. He’d returned in time for the birth and
then had left again. Months later, mother and daughter had been killed. He’d had
no idea. No psychic sense of loss. Just a phone call in the middle of the day.
He hadn’t even been in surgery.

He’d flown home immediately. His parents and in-laws had
handled the details, leaving him to mourn. Shock had settled in. He’d barely
known his darling little girl. Had planned on spending more time with her. But
he’d never had the chance. The fault was his.

“Do you miss it?” he asked, shaking off the memories. “The
travel? The going from place to place?”

“No,” Simon said easily. “I thought I would, but I’m happy
here. I’ve found where I belong.” He shrugged. “I have the best of all worlds.
My patients come to me. I’m with the woman I love in a town where I feel
welcome.” He glanced at his friend. “I’m not like you, Alistair. I’ve never had
a place to call home before now. Fool’s Gold gives me that and more.”

He put his brandy on the table by his chair and leaned forward.
“The hospital has joined a network that stretches around the globe. They’re
raising money together and will bring the neediest of patients here for surgery.
I’m doing extraordinary work.” He paused. “I can always use another pair of
hands.”

“Stay?”

“You might like it.”

Alistair hadn’t considered settling in one place. Not recently.
Before Sara’s death, he’d always assumed one day he’d return to England and live
in the village where he’d been born. But that day had never come. To stop
traveling now felt like a dismissal of the woman he’d married. A rejection of
the only thing she’d asked of him.

He recognized the fallacy of the argument. His desire to
continue his work had nothing to do with his affection for his late wife and not
finding a place to call home wouldn’t bring her or his daughter back. But
telling himself that and believing it weren’t the same thing.

“I’m not ready,” he admitted, recognizing that eventually he
would like to be in one place. Put down roots. Not in England, he thought. That
would be uncomfortable. His young brothers were more connected to the title and
the community there than he had ever been. Let one of them deal with all that
went with being an earl.

“When you are, call me,” Simon told him. “I want the first shot
at convincing you to move here.” He picked up his brandy. “Where are you off to
next?”

“Australia. Sydney, then Melbourne. I’m giving several seminars
in each location. From there, I’ll spend three months in Thailand. I haven’t
decided where to go after that.”

Paige would enjoy Australia, he thought. While he was
lecturing, she could explore the area. He would have days off where they could
go places together.

He shook off the idea nearly as soon as it crossed his mind.
Paige barely knew him. She had her own to destiny to fulfill. She wouldn’t want
to be tied to someone like him when she could be free. Or was that just an
excuse? A reason not have to face the bone-crushing guilt he carried with
him?

Because the truth was that while he’d loved Sara, he’d never
been
in
love
with her.

He’d known how she had felt for years, had known she was
waiting patiently for him to return. She had always been there. A part of his
life in England. In truth, he’d secretly been pleased when she wouldn’t travel
with him. He’d been able to go off and do what he wanted. Oh, there hadn’t been
other women. He had no interest in cheating on her and had believed in the
importance of honoring his wedding vows. Instead, he’d been able to take the
dangerous assignments to the most interesting places. He’d often said he didn’t
have a choice, but he did. He’d been gone more than he needed to be.

He could have been home when she died.

He’d taken on the extra work, had stayed longer than necessary.
Because he hadn’t been ready to go back to the quiet village. Chatting with
neighbors and setting up a home had seemed boring and unimportant. Now that he’d
lost both, he knew he’d been wrong.

“You’re gone again,” Simon said quietly.

“I’m thinking about Sara.”

“Feeling guilty?”

Alistair stared at his friend. “How do you know?”

“I know you. You blame yourself for not being there. What
you’re forgetting is that you couldn’t have stopped her from crossing that
street.”

“I might have.”

“I doubt that. It was her time, Alistair.”

“An acceptance of fate?”

Simon shrugged. “Perhaps.” He raised his arm, the one covered
with scars left by an abusive and destructive mother who had deliberately pushed
her only child into a fire. “I believe things happen for a reason. Had I not
been injured, I would never have studied medicine, never have become a surgeon.
I wouldn’t have found my destiny.”

He smiled. “That sounds dramatic and I don’t mean it to.”

“It sounds honest,” Alistair told him. “I knew what I was
supposed to do with my life as well. At an early age. Sara never understood how
important my work was to me. She was content with the tiny sphere in which she
lived.”