Almost Infamous: A Supervillain Novel (38 page)

“Spasm, give him his eyes,” I said.

He did, and Helios looked up at me fearfully. He tried to focus his powers back, but the hangover from what Ghost Girl had shown him had hit too hard.

I focused, lifting him off the ground by his outspread arms. He moaned pitifully, then started thrashing and yelling.

“You can’t do this to me! You
can’t
! I’m a superhero!”

“You’re not a superhero,” I said. “You’re just an asshole.”

(Witty quips are hard to come up with when you’ve lost a lot of blood.)

Focus.

His body jerked and shuddered in a very familiar way, and that same slurping, crunching sound that Icicle Man made was practically music to my ears as I turned Helios inside out and dropped the steaming mess onto the ground.

“We need to get the hell out of here,” Trojan Fox said. “They got the Tri-Hole network back up, and the Protectors will be here any—”

Helios’s remains jerked, starting to rise.

“No fucking way—”

An ethereal, ghostly form of gold and white light rose from his body. Briefly, it turned its alien and serene face to me, and smiled.

“I am the Charioteer, one of the fourteen Keys of the Cosmos. Thank you, Aidan Salt, for freeing me. One day,
soon
, when your planet’s reckoning is at hand, I will return and repay your kindness,” it said in an ethereal voice, rocketing into the sky with a blinding flash of light.

A brief moment of awkward silence took over our chunk of the mall.

“What,
the fuck
, was that?” Spasm asked.

Trojan Fox shrugged. “Shit like that’s always happening around superheroes.”

She pulled a stolen Tri-Hole generator from her belt and pulled up an exit for us.

“Wait!” I exclaimed, motioning for Geode to help me. Taking Helios’s bloody cape, we gathered up Nevermore’s bones.

She deserved to be buried with friends.

One at a time, the five of us stepped through the Tri-Hole, each of us landing around the Christmas tree in the middle of the foyer back home.

I was tired.

I was hurt.

I was sad.

But I was also relieved. It felt, for now, that for the first time in close to a year, we might have been free.

Someone started clapping slowly from the shadows.

“Not bad. Not bad at all, kids,” she said slowly.

We all drew our weapons and powers on her, but Blackjack made no move to fight back as she walked out of the shadows.

“You did good, but want to do even better?”

#Supervillainy101: Flight of The New Offenders

It’s a rare occurrence when everything goes to hell in your favor, but when it does happen, it’s a beautiful thing.

After the Battle of Washington, DC, most of the surviving heroes (Everywhere Man, Comet Girl, Armada, and Morningstar) were taken into custody and placed in a hardened DSA facility for questioning. Extreme Man escaped in the chaos, though since it’s hard for a guy with a graying mohawk covered in pouches and guns to hide, he shouldn’t stay hidden long.

Most governments and the superhero hype machine tried to gloss over the conspiracy, but the Protectors made enough political enemies to make sure they would be held accountable to the accusations. President Perez has called for hearings, the Supreme Soviet isn’t far behind, and though they’re dragging their feet, British Parliament should join soon enough.

Sponsors of the Kayfabe heroes caught in the Battle of Washington, DC, have already dropped them, and those whose names Trojan Fox released have slowly started shedding them.

The Protectors and many of their satellite teams have temporarily been shut down for “internal review and restructuring.” Though superheroics still take place, they’re more apt to be vigilantes or privately held.

Or El Capitán, since nothing could stop him from saving people.

The New Offenders are still recognized as a terrorist organization by most respectable world powers, but there is a growing swell of support for our actions after we made our story public, and not just among the enemies of the empires (though the aid we’ve received from Lemuria, Atlantis, and New R’lyeh has been nice). Some have started to call us folk heroes, which does have a pretty good ring to it.

We may even manage to earn that title some day.

When we’re not being villains, of course.

#LessonLearned:
Everything changes.

24

THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY

In retrospect, I shouldn’t have taken my helmet off in DC.

With my face all over the news, it was impossible to be myself in public. A baseball cap, shaggy wig, and sunglasses were all that protected me when Ghost Girl and I attended the next Mary Rising.

“They won’t notice you,” Ghost Girl said. “You’ll be fine.”

Nervously, I spun a pen between my fingers.

“It just feels like—”

“They’re here to see Mary rise, not you. So look like you want to see some death, and you’ll blend right in,” she said, comfortingly as we walked through the crowd. I laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

“I got into this… lifestyle because I didn’t want to blend in anymore. I was tired of being just another face in the crowd. I wanted people to notice me. I wonder if I went a little too far.”

“I think, in this case, going too far was a good thing. The whole world is changing because of you.”

“Because of
us
,” I clarified.

If her face weren’t wrapped in a scarf, I imagine that would have gotten a raised eyebrow. “I was wondering if you would give us all credit.”

“What can I say, I’m growing up,” I said, catching my gaze wandering down to her chest. “Mostly.”

“Good to see you haven’t changed completely.”

“That’s not a matter of changing, that’s me just trying to get something nice to hold onto while I’m in—”

Spasm pushed his way through the crowd towards us, tossing a lit cigarette on the ground and crushing it out. “I hate to break up your flirtation, but it’s time.”

“Hey, keep your pants on, we’ve got time,” I said as we made our way through the crowd.

“
You’ve
got time, I’m just here until this job’s done. Then it’s back to Belfast and giving the redcapes all the hell I can.”

“Whatever floats your boat. Just be glad you don’t have to go where I’m going.”

“And we
are
glad you’re helping us with this,” Ghost Girl added.

True to what Spasm said, it was beginning. A few heroes had come in through a Tri-Hole, but no heavy hitters. Too many people had been implicated in the Kayfabe files, and many others had been taken off duty as potential accessories. It would take a while for them to figure everything out, but until then, most active heroes we’d seen were second- and third-stringers. That would make this next part easy.

The loudspeakers told us to quiet down, again.

Green mist and green light came from the mine entrance.

Mary roared.

Right on schedule. No other side effects, yet…

“You can do this,” I said.

“I know,” Spasm said, gripping the fence hard. “I’ve never attempted anything this big, but don’t think Liam Long’s not one to try.”

His eyes rolled back into his head as every vein and muscle stood out rigid on his body.

At first, nothing happened. Then everything did.

In a wave around him, people fell to the ground, unconscious. First the people in the audience, then the people working crowd control to keep us back, and finally the heroes. It happened so quickly that nobody would have a clear idea of just what happened and would write this off as just one of the many side effects of a Mary Rising.

Spasm fell to his knees by the fence, his eyes bloodshot.

“I’m fine, I’m fine… just give me a second…”

“Rest all you want, you did awesome,” I said, surveying the hundreds of unconscious people that littered the fairground.

“Ready for Part Two?” Ghost Girl asked.

“No,” I said.

“By which you mean yes?”

“Obviously.”

We both pulled off our backpacks, pulling out my spare Apex Strike helmet and an oxygen tank made to hook into it. I stripped off my disguise and the street clothes covering my costume and put the helmet and tank on, just as Mary began to heavily stomp out from the mine.

Ghost Girl and I hopped over the fence, running to the mine entrance before Mary could climb all the way out.

Giant and stupid-looking, she cocked her massive head and looked down at us confusedly. Her one eyelid blinked heavily as drool and black slime snaked between her cracked, blocky teeth. Nobody knew if she remembered anything from execution to execution, but looking into her eyes, I got the impression that she did. I think she remembered most of the heroes who had killed her, and knew we weren’t them.

“Have you seen my lamb?” she asked.

“No, Mary, we haven’t. I’m so sorry,” Ghost Girl said.

Mary took a step back as if struck, her eyes confused and frightened. I imagined that nobody had talked nicely to her in a very, very long time.

Slowly, Ghost Girl removed her scarf to show Mary her true face. This put Mary more at ease, as she took a slow step forward, her shoulders lowering.

“… seen my lamb?” Mary asked again.

“Your lamb has been dead for a long time,” Ghost Girl said, approaching Mary slowly. She held out her hand.

“I know you have felt more pain than almost any other being on this planet, and I can never apologize enough. If I could promise you relief from this life, I would, but I don’t know how. What I can do, though, is promise you freedom from this cycle of death and rebirth in your pit. Would you like that?” Ghost Girl said, taking another step closer.

Mary looked at her, some of the fear returning, her shoulders raised defensively.

“Touch my hand, Mary. Know I’m telling the truth,” Ghost Girl said.

Mary looked torn. “… you seen my lamb?”

She reached out, touching Ghost Girl’s hand. Mary was the first person I’d seen who hadn’t completely lost it when Ghost Girl shared her power with them. Her body went rigid and her eyes became completely black, but when Ghost Girl parted, Mary smiled crookedly.

“Have you seen my lamb?” she said.

Ghost Girl smiled. “So you will help us?”

Mary nodded. “… my lamb.”

“Good,” Ghost Girl said. “Now this next part won’t be pleasant, but once it is over, I swear to you, everything will get better.”

Mary barely moved when Ghost Girl pulled the hunting knife from her backpack and approached her.

“Oh God, it’s so awful!” I yelled into the radio.

“Oh quit bein’ such a little bitch, it’s dark and your suit’s sealed, you don’t have to see or smell nothin’,” Blackjack said over the radio.

“But it’s so gooey!” I yelled again.

“It may be, but it’s the best way in. Trust me kiddo, this’ll work.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you were one sick bitch, Blackjack?”

“Daily, if I’m lucky.”

“Must be why we get along so well,” Trojan Fox said.

“You’re going to be fine, Aidan. Just relax, breathe,” Geode said.

“You try fucking relaxing and breathing!” I yelled back.

“He is, actually. He’s on a tropical island with a mai tai,” Trojan Fox said.

“I fucking hate all of you!”

“Love you too, asshole,” Trojan Fox said mockingly.

“Just… try remembering why you’re here. What you’re doing. That will make this easier,” Geode said, trying to be calming.

That worked. Some.

But it didn’t change the fact that I was currently curled up in a ball, trapped inside Mary’s stomach, waiting to burst out of her like a goddamn alien the moment we got to the Tower.

It was all Blackjack’s fault.

She was waiting for us back on Death Island after the Battle of Washington, DC. At first I thought she was there to try to take over the team, but she wanted the exact opposite. She offered us her assistance and centuries of experience in supervillainy to help us with our plans, and in exchange she wanted to build a small home on the island to retire.

Trojan Fox agreed to her terms, and said that, once we were all healed up, she wanted to free all our friends from the Tower.

Hiding me inside of Mary like some satanic Jack-in-the-Box was Blackjack’s solution to the problem. According to her, the Tri-Hole hookup to the Tower is more secure than the rest of the network and would have had all its codes changed after DC, making the generators we took off the heroes useless.

With no permanent staff of the Tower, we couldn’t sneak in with a supply shipment or any work crews.

That just left Mary.

After she was killed, her body was carted off to the Tower for cremation. If we could talk Mary onto our side, and if we had a really small group member…

And that’s how I wound up stuffed inside Mary’s stomach cavity, covered in slimy zombie guts and hating my life.

I was glad that Ghost Girl carved a big hole in Mary’s stomach, which made getting in easy. I wasn’t as glad that Spasm had to seal the hole behind me, but we had to sell the illusion.