Almost Identical #1 (8 page)

By the time they had gone around the circle, I felt like we were all old friends. The hour had whizzed by, and as we left the room, everyone was laughing and talking.

I asked Alicia if she wanted to walk home together. I just assumed she was walking to the Sporty Forty so her dad could drive her home, but she said that she usually took the bus after school. She lived about an hour away. She went to Beachside because her mom and dad worked in the district and got her a special permit.

We walked to the bus stop on Third Street and Arizona Avenue, right in front of the Third Street Promenade. I told Alicia that I was pretty sure I was going to join Truth Tellers. She was glad and told me about these performances that they sometimes did for the community. The last one was at the Laugh Box, a comedy club. Over one hundred people came, and they weren't all just parents, either.

“I can't imagine standing up in front of grown-ups and telling them for real about my life,” I said.

“Once you do it, it's really fun. At our last performance, this woman told me she hadn't really thought about how it feels to be twelve, and what I said helped her to understand her daughter. That was cool.”

We were so busy talking that I hadn't noticed that we had reached the bus stop in front of the mall—specifically, in front of Starbucks. And, of course, who should see us but Charlie and Lauren and the other SF2s who were sitting around an outside table. I was supposed to be at the dentist getting my fang pulled, and it was clear to everyone that I wasn't. I think we can all agree that the situation was totally, completely, horribly awkward.

“Hey, Sammie. What are you doing here?” Lauren called out. I could see Charlie burying her face in her hands.

“She doesn't look like a dentist,” the General shouted, pointing to Alicia. “But if she were, I'd go more often.”

“That guy thinks he's such hot stuff,” Alicia whispered. “And why does he think I'm a dentist?”

I was really embarrassed to have to confess to Alicia that I hid the fact that I was going to Truth Tellers. I was tempted to tell her something different, but then I realized that if I was going to be a Truth Teller, I was going to have to start telling the truth. That was the deal.

“I'll be right over, guys!” I hollered to the kids at the table. Then I took a deep breath and turned to Alicia.

“I didn't tell them I was going to Truth Tellers,” I said. “I told them I had a dentist appointment.”

“Why?” she asked. She seemed really confused.

“My sister asked me not to tell them about Truth Tellers. She didn't want them to think I was a geek. We're just getting to know them, and she wants to make a good impression.”

I watched Alicia's face carefully. I could see her shaking her head sadly, fighting back tears. At last she spoke.

“So your sister is embarrassed that you're friends with me?”

“No. She's not like that. It's just that she wants to be friends with those kids, and . . .”

“My friends and I are not as good as they are,” Alicia finished my sentence for me.

It sounded so ugly when she said it.

“Alicia, I think you're great. And I bet Charlie does, too. We always agree on friends . . . or, at least, we used to. Just let me talk to her . . .”

Before I could finish, the bus pulled up and its doors whooshed open.

“I have to go, Sammie,” she said quietly. “And you know what? I was wrong about you. I thought you were nice. I thought we could be friends. But I don't want to be friends with someone who doesn't think I'm good enough for her.”

“Alicia, wait—”

“You'd better go,” she said as the door shut. “Your
real
friends are waiting.”

Alicia disappeared onto the bus, and as I turned around, I saw Lauren running up. She was waving a Starbucks card at me.

“I still have money left on my gift card,” she said. “Come on. Frappuccino's on me.”

I wasn't thirsty. In fact, I wanted to barf.

The next morning, I was waiting at the bus stop at seven thirty, but Alicia wasn't on the seven-thirty bus. She wasn't on the seven forty-five bus, either. I had hoped to catch her before school—to talk to her, to explain the truth behind what had happened. I had tried calling her the night before, but when her father, Candido, answered, he said she wasn't feeling well and had gone to bed. I figured she must have really been sick because Alicia wasn't on the eight o'clock bus, either.

In homeroom, I asked Sara if she had talked to Alicia.

“Yeah, we talked on the phone a lot last night,” she said.

“About me?”

“About friends. You tell me, Sammie. Are you her friend?”

“I want to be.”

“Then I have a suggestion for you,” Sara said. “Try acting like one.”

Wow. That was harsh. These Truth Tellers don't mess around.

I went through the day at school feeling lousy. You know how when you're mad at yourself, everything seems to go wrong? Well, that's how the whole day went. My bra strap broke after PE, and I had to hold it together with this huge, old safety pin which came undone in the middle of Spanish. I got back my history test, and I missed getting a B by half a point because I said the king of England during the American Revolution was George II. (Big deal, so it was George III. That's close enough for me.) And at lunch, Charlie talked to Jared the whole time and left me sitting at the table listening to Jillian's in-depth discussion of whether Ashley on
Real Teens
looked better as a blonde or a brunette. (Oh, and in case you're dying to know, brunette won.) Going into English, I dropped my backpack, which was unzipped, and all my pens fell out on the floor. Bernard of the drumsticks didn't even stop to help me pick them up. Sure, it was possible that he just didn't see them. But it was also possible that all the Truth Tellers were sticking up for Alicia and thought I deserved to get all my ballpoints trampled.

After school, Charlie was waiting for me at my locker.

“I'm not going home right away,” I told her. “There's something I have to do.”

“Dad's waiting for us. We have practice.”

“I have to skip today.”

“Sammie, we have a tournament this Sunday. Dad will freak out if you're not there.”

“Can you cover for me, just this once?” I begged. “I'll let you borrow any of my clothes you want.”

“I do that, anyway,” she pointed out.

“Please, Charlie. This is important.”

“Where are you going?”

“To Alicia's.”

“You don't even know where she lives.”

“I got her address from Sara. Tell Dad I'll be home by six. And I'll practice like a lunatic the rest of the week, I swear.”

I think Charlie would have continued arguing with me, but just then, Lauren came up and asked her if she wanted to go to the gym with her to sign up for cheerleader tryouts.

“Of course I do,” Charlie said, a big smile breaking across her face. “But afterward, I have to go to the club to practice.”

“Perfect,” Lauren answered. “We'll go sign up, and then I'll watch you work out. By the way, will Ryan be there? Not that it matters.”

Right—not that it matters.

“Sure,” Charlie said. “He lives there.”

She picked up her backpack and slung it over her shoulder. “Okay, Sammie, I'm covering for you this time, but you'd better be there tomorrow,” she whispered.

“I will be. Promise.”

Charlie and Lauren started off down the hall, then, realizing they were leaving me behind, Lauren came back to talk to me.

“Listen, Sammie,” she said, without the slightest bit of awkwardness. “I'd ask you to come, too, but I happen to know they're looking for girls who can fly, and I think you'd be kind of hard to lift.”

She might as well have said “Sammie, you're a fat pig and harder to lift than a pregnant elephant.” I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach, but luckily I was able to take in just enough air to spit out, “That's okay, Lauren. I have other plans, anyway.”

Sara had given me directions to Alicia's house. She lived in a neighborhood called Palms, which wasn't too far from where we used to live in Culver City. I got on the bus and rode down Lincoln Boulevard until we reached Venice Boulevard, then transferred. There were no other kids on the bus, certainly no one from Beachside. It was a long way, and I had to admire Alicia for making the trip twice every day. I looked out the window, checking the street signs. The directions said to get off and walk a half block to Alicia's house, which was number 4307.

When I got off, I went into the little grocery store on the corner of Southwest and Venice and bought two pieces of red licorice, one for Alicia and one for me. Then I ate them both. Being nervous makes me eat. Actually, being anything makes me eat.

I headed down the block until I reached number 4307. I have to confess that I was a little surprised to see that Alicia's house was not a house, but an apartment. The building was three floors high, and there must have been seven or eight apartments on each floor. I never assumed it was an apartment because Sara hadn't given me an apartment number. So I just stood in front of the row of mailboxes searching for the name Bermudez. I was concentrating so hard that I didn't see Alicia come down the stairs and stand in back of me.

“Sammie, what are you doing here?” she said.

I nearly jumped ten feet in the air. I wheeled around to face her. I think you could safely say that she didn't look happy to see me. And that's an understatement.

“Oh, you scared me, Alicia.”

“Why are you scared, Sammie? Because you've come to my part of town? It's not scary here, although I realize it's not the Sporty Forty.”

“Alicia, I need to talk to you. You've got me all wrong.”

“Do I? Is that why you wouldn't tell all those kids from the club that we're friends?”

“Can we go into your house, please?” I asked her. A bunch of little kids from the apartment building had gathered around and were looking at us curiously.

“Whatever.”

She turned and headed up a flight of stairs and down an outside hallway to apartment 206. She pushed open the door, and as we went inside, my mouth started to water. It smelled completely delicious in there. An older woman was taking a pan out of the oven, and I realized that whatever smelled so great was in it.

“This is my grandmother, Anna Bermudez,” Alicia said.
“Abuela, ésta es mi amiga Sammie.”

“Hola, Sammie,”
Mrs. Bermudez said to me.
“¿Quieres un tamal?”

“She wants to know if you want one of her tamales,” Alicia said. “I warn you, they're so good, you won't stop at one.”

Alicia's grandma put a tamale on a plate for each of us, and we went outside and sat on the steps to eat them.

“I thought you were sick,” I began, after I had lapped up the last bite.

“I have a sore throat. I may be catching a cold. I didn't sleep much last night.”

“Because of me? Oh, Alicia, I'm so sorry.”

“Do you know how it feels, Sammie? To feel like I'm not good enough to be considered your friend? To be treated like I'm an embarrassment? Well, I'll tell you. It hurts.”

“I know what it feels like, Alicia, because I feel that way, too. You think I'm comfortable with those Sporty Forty kids? I'm not. Lauren got interested in Charlie and me because she's in love with our brother. Now all of them like Charlie because she's working so hard at being one of them. But they don't really accept me. They just kind of put up with me.”

“Then why do you hang out with them?”

“Because all my life, my sister and I have had the same friends. Charlie and I, we're like two halves of a circle. I wouldn't know what to do without her.”

“I don't have a sister,” Alicia said softly. “So I don't know what that feels like.”

“Well, it feels wonderful,” I explained. “I've never been lonely, not for one minute, because whenever I needed a best friend, Charlie was there.”

“So that's why you're trying so hard to fit in? So hard that you couldn't even tell them about me?”

“I was wrong to do that, and I'm so sorry.”

Alicia looked at me and her pretty brown eyes filled with tears.

“Besides,” I continued, “it had nothing to do with you personally. Charlie really likes you. It's just all the others she didn't want them to know about. Not yet, anyway.”

“The others? You mean the Truth Tellers?”

I nodded.

“Because we're different, right? Too weird for them?”

“Charlie wouldn't think that if she saw what goes on there. I know she wouldn't. She's got an open mind. Maybe I can even get her to come sometime. Then she'll see how cool everyone is.”

Alicia looked surprised. “You mean you want to come back to Truth Tellers?”

“Yes, I really do. I haven't stopped thinking about it. When I was there, I felt so . . . fantabulous.”

Alicia laughed. “You really do like that word, don't you?”

Then she reached out and gave me a hug.

Before I knew it, we were inside and Alicia was showing me the room that she shared with her little brother, Ramon. He was sitting on the floor with her grandmother, building a tower of blocks and then knocking it down. Each time the blocks fell, he screamed, “BOOM!” and laughed, flashing the most adorable dimples you've ever seen. Alicia showed me her collection of shirts that her grandmother embroidered with colorful flowers. We put on some music and danced, and pretty soon, both Ramon and Alicia's grandmother had joined in. Her grandmother reminded me of GoGo—they both had the kind of smile that makes everyone else in the room smile, too.

We were having such fun that we didn't even notice when Candido came in. He looked surprised to see me.

“Sammie,” he said. “Does your papa know you're here?”

My dad! I had almost forgotten. I checked the time and it was five thirty. I had promised Charlie I'd be home by six, and I was going to be really late if I took the bus. Since Candido had to go pick up Esperanza, he offered to drive me home. With a hug for Alicia, a hug for her grandmother, and a hug for Ramon (a careful one, since he was covered with mushed-up tamale, which didn't exactly make him a hug magnet), I left the apartment and climbed into Candido's truck.

“Your papa, he wasn't happy with you this afternoon,” Candido said as his truck rattled down Venice Boulevard to the beach.

“Yeah, I was a no-show at practice.”

“Charlie told him you had some kind of emergency.”

“It was kind of an emergency,” I said. When he looked at me funny, I explained. “Alicia and I had a fight. But we worked it out.”

“So now you are friends?” he asked.

“Now we are friends,” I answered. And I don't mind telling you, that sentence made me feel really great.

I got home five minutes after six, and my dad didn't lose one second starting in on the lecture about how no champion ever reached her full potential without hard work and dedication. Luckily, just when he was getting to the part about how anything good is worth working for, my mom called. My dad went into the kitchen to talk to her, and the lecture got cut short.

“Saved by the bell,” Ryan said. “If I were you, Sam-I-Am, I'd make like a tree and leave.”

I was in such a good mood that I actually laughed, even though he's been making that same joke since he was seven, and it wasn't even funny then. I ran to our room and pushed open the door. I couldn't wait to tell Charlie about my visit with Alicia and to invite her to come to Truth Tellers. But before I could get a word out, Charlie pounced on me, grabbed me by the hands, and twirled me around.

“You're not going to believe it!” she screamed. “The best news ever! I mean
ever
. Take a guess.”