Almost Heaven (7 page)

But if she ever trusted a man again, it would not be one who carried a gun on his hip. Not a man who stood strong against violence and won. The constant reminder of what she'd endured would just be too painful.

She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing away the image of Cameron on that cold, rainy October night taking Jerrod down. Fear took hold of her stomach.

Don't remember.

She cleared her throat. Business. That's what she had to focus on. And the fact that the Lord would not
have led Cameron across her path once more if there wasn't a greater purpose. She'd received the sheriff's help; it was her chance to help him in return.

It felt right. Maybe it would help her find a way to forget and forgive. To bury that horrible time forever.

She forced cheer into her voice. “Do you know the Thornton's ranch? I'll meet you there at seven?”

“I'll be there. How do we do this? Do I need to bring my checkbook or anything?”

“You can, but you don't have to make a decision today. It's good to meet the horse and see if your personalities mesh, if he's what you want in a friend. A lot of folks look at a dozen or more horses before they find the right one.”

“How do you know when you do?”

“You just
know.
You feel it in your heart. Do you know what I mean?”

Boy, did he. He had to wonder what he was feeling inside at this moment.

As he said goodbye and replaced the phone in the cradle, he realized he wasn't alone in the office. Frank was sitting across the room at his desk, staring right at him, one eyebrow raised—whether in disdain or approval, it was hard to tell.

I get to look at a horse tonight.
It was all he could do to hold back his excitement. It made him want to get up and do a happy dance right in the middle of the street, but he restrained himself.

He settled for a second cup of coffee instead. Life was looking up. For the first time in a long while, he was glad to be alive.

 

As she kicked up a cloud of dust behind her pickup, barreling down the country road to the Thornton ranch, it hit her. Should she be speeding when she knew a sheriff was around? Not that she was speeding badly, just pushing the needle a little over the legal limit. She was running late.

Better late than a lawbreaker. Or having to pay for a ticket. She eased her foot off the gas and not a moment too soon. There was a gray patrol cruiser. Was it Cameron?

No, she realized as she moved over on the narrow road to give the oncoming car plenty of room. It was the new deputy. He had his window down and saluted her as they both slowed.

“Going a little fast, weren't you?” Easygoing and polite, the deputy flashed a grin at her.

“Yeah.” It hurt to admit it. “I'm late meeting your boss.”

“It's awful generous of you to help him out like this. He seems to really want a horse.”

Was it her imagination, or did the deputy seem sarcastic? Not mean sarcastic, but as if he knew something she didn't. Oh, wait, she knew what he thought. He thought she had a crush on Cameron, too.

Her face grew hot. Really! Bake cookies as a thank-you, as a good gesture, and look what happens. She was really starting to regret making those cookies.

It had been all her sisters could talk about last night, when they were
supposed
to be having a sisters night, talking about what really mattered. Not about her ridiculous, nonexistent
thing
for poor Cameron. He had enough on his plate grieving his wife and trying to get on with his life.

“Just doing my job.” She shrugged, knowing it was a lame answer, but it was the truth.

“And I'm doing mine. Would you mind handing over your license and registration?”

“Not going to let me get away with it, are you?” Resigned, Kendra grabbed the registration from behind the visor and rummaged through her purse for her ID. She handed it through the window. “I couldn't have been going more than three, four miles over the limit. I know, because I was afraid Cameron was going to catch me.”

Frank studied her license. “You got a birthday coming up.”

“In a few weeks.”

“Well, I suppose it would only be decent of me, since I'm that kind of guy, to let this slide once.” Was that a hint of trouble sparkling in Frank's eyes, as he held out her license?

“You are? Oh, that's great. Thank you.”

“Wait. You didn't let me finish. You know how it goes. I do something for you, you do something for me. Chocolate-chip cookies. Lots of them.” He saluted her as he drove away.

More
cookies? She was going to have to bake more cookies? She would rather have had the ticket!

Cameron was waiting for her in his SUV when she pulled up. There was no way she was going to explain why she was late. She'd just drop the cookies off sometime when he was out on patrol. It couldn't be too hard to figure out, since he parked along the curb whenever he was in the office, right?

“I was beginning to think you'd stood me up for a better-looking guy.” He adjusted his Stetson. “Have any trouble?”

“I'm always into trouble, you must know that by now.”

“Yeah, I pegged you for trouble the day I moved back to this town. Riding horses. Building your own business. Sad you have no sense of responsibility.”

“You're in a good mood. You're excited about this. You should be. Getting your first horse will bring about a wonderful change in your life. I promise you.”

“I'll hold you to that.” He looked changed from the quiet, stoic officer she'd seen around town for years.

This evening, as the sun sank low in the sky, he seemed more alive.

This was what she loved. Walking along a newly painted fence line with the scent of horse on the breeze. Seeing three saddle horses, two geldings and a mare she trained, grazing in the shade near the creek. The crunch of gravel beneath her riding boots. The
anticipation of seeing Warrior again, and the Thorntons, who were good people.

“Sure is nice of you going to all this trouble for me.”

“Stop thanking me. I love horses, and I hope you will, too.”

“Been looking forward to this all day.” He slowed to match his pace with hers. “The owners are negotiable?”

“I spoke to them again just before I left.” She gestured toward the stable, bypassing the house, as if she'd been here many times before. “Mr. Thornton is more concerned with their horse finding a good home rather than what money they get for him. There he is. The black one in the paddock.”

“The all-black one?” He looked like a show horse, all gleam and polish and fine bold lines. Cam might know next to nothing about horses, but he could see this was a quality animal. “That one looks too fancy for what I need.”

“He's a trained trail horse, for all terrain and all seasons. He can pack, hunt, jump, lead and rope.”

“Sounds like what I'm looking for. Hi, fella.” He held out his palm.

The big animal studied him with intelligent eyes. He was huge, the biggest horse Cam had seen yet. The animal's big velvet nostrils flared as the gelding sniffed his hand, then nickered low in his throat.

Could he handle him? Cam wondered.

As if in answer, the horse nosed him. A spark of
affection flashed to life in Cam's chest, like a flint striking kindling. What a fine horse he was.

“Hi there, Evan!” Kendra waved in a rider trotting into sight from the hillside trails. “Your horse is lookin' good.”

“The work you did with her sure helped her gait. Hi, Cameron.” Evan swung down from the saddle.

“Howdy.” He knew Evan well enough, he'd been years older in school. He was without a wife these days. Is that why Cameron felt protective? Or was it jealous?

That realization made him uneasy. Jealous? He didn't like to think he could let that undesirable emotion into his heart. But he couldn't deny a certain fierce urge to make sure Evan kept his distance from Kendra.

Kendra didn't seem to notice as she stroked her sensitive fingertips down Warrior's neck and spoke to Evan Thornton as if they were old friends. “Is Kevin glad to be heading off to his second year of college?”

Evan's affirmative answer sounded somewhere in the distance. All Cameron saw was Kendra. The world around him had disappeared; there was only her. The soft spring scent of flowers, the feel of her, as if it wasn't just his heart reacting, but his soul was aware of hers.

How was it he could feel her spirit? Strange, the power of it. He didn't understand what was happening. Only that he'd never seen such beauty in his life—and he wasn't referring to the glitzy, primp-in-
front-of-the-mirror kind. Hers was a beauty that lasted. It shone from the inside and made the lovely woman she was all the more breathtaking.

Dressed in a plain gray T-shirt, ordinary faded jeans and scuffed riding boots, she was extraordinary. His chest ached with the wonder of it.

“He likes you.” Kendra smiled and it was like the first day of spring after a long and bleak winter. “Evan, can we take Warrior for a ride?”

“Sure thing. His saddle's in the tack room in the barn. Want me to do the honors?”

“I can handle it. What do you think, Cameron?”

The poor man looked love struck. “I'd like to, but the truth is, I think he's way too fine for the likes of me.”

“I think he's perfect for you.” Who would have thought that the strong and practical town sheriff would fall head over heels for a horse? She couldn't be happier for him. “You like the mountains, and he does, too.”

The gelding nudged him, nearly knocking him off his feet. “Whoa, fella. Take it easy on me.”

“See? He feels the same. Maybe he can sense you two are kindred spirits. He's been lonely for the whole year Evan's son has been away at college. He wants someone who likes to ride high up into the backcountry and camp and fish and hunt.”

“I can't ride worth squat. You know I just sat on that horse of yours, Palouse. I imagine Warrior is used
to a skilled rider. Someone who knows how to handle him.”

“So, you'll take lessons. I'll teach you to ride him. You can stop off in the evenings after work to spend time with him. Get to know him. Develop a bond and trust between you.”

Exactly. If God answers prayers and can look straight into a man's heart to see the goodness through all the bad, then the Lord would see how much he wanted this.

The Lord might see, too, how Cameron was thinking about more than the horse.

“You've got a deal, Kendra McKaslin. You teach me to ride him, and I'll buy him.”

“Oh, what a lucky horse you are, Warrior.” Kendra shone with all the beauty of a summer's sunset.

Words died in his throat. No, he was the lucky one. Cameron said nothing more. He didn't have to. He felt as light as air, as Kendra smiled, just for him, like a gift from above.

O
kay, here goes nothing. Kendra clutched the paper plate stacked high with cookies and marched straight to the front door. A banner advertising the upcoming Harvest Days festival flapped overhead as she hurried past the antique shop and into the sheriff's air-conditioned office.

“You remembered.” Frank rose from behind his paper-piled desk, but he looked uncomfortable instead of glad to see more cookies. “Cam isn't in. He stepped out for a few minutes. Ran out to grab us both a couple drinks from your sister's coffee shop.”

“Too bad there isn't a doughnut shop in town.” Kendra quipped so she didn't have to comment on Cameron's being absent, because she'd timed it that way. She'd spotted his cruiser pulling away from the curb from the Feed and Grain store, where she was putting in her monthly order.

But if he went to the coffee shop, that was like four blocks away. In this heat, it made sense he would drive, but that meant it was a short trip. He'd be back any second!

“Hope this fulfills the requirement, Deputy.” She slipped the covered plate on the edge of his desk. “Thanks again for looking past my indiscretion. I have been very careful with my speed every since.”

“I'm glad to hear it. Mmm.” He bit into a cookie like a hungry kid.

She took advantage of his chewing to head straight for the door. “Have a great afternoon!” she called, and she was free. Safely on the sidewalk, escaping before Cameron—

“Where's the fire?” a friendly baritone rumbled as two big hands caught her elbows, stopping her before she ran full speed into him.

Cameron. Her heart stopped. Already he'd released her, but the imprint of his fingers banding her arms remained. Her mouth opened, but she couldn't think of anything to say.

“Hey, did Evan Thornton get a hold of you? He said he'd trailer my new horse over to your place sometime late this afternoon. I figured I'd pop on over to your place to see him.”

There was something wrong with her mind. It wasn't working right. It was as if her neurotransmitters had forgotten how to fire. All she could do was stare up at the man towering over her, looking dashing in the well-fitted uniform.

“I'm taking your advice. I'm going to go slow, spend time with Warrior. Let him see I'm the best friend he's ever gonna have.”

“F-fine.” There, at least her tongue was starting to work, although she sounded lame and half-dazed.

Had he always had such an amazing smile? Kendra couldn't seem to remember but her feet were carrying her down the sidewalk. Cameron watched after her, as if he were making sure she wasn't likely to plow into someone else head-on.

“I'll see you tonight, then,” he called the length of the sidewalk. “Is there anytime you consider too late to stay? You must close up shop sometime.”

“Uh, until dark?”

She didn't sound too sure of her answer. Cameron figured not too many folks stayed out with their horses late into the evening. Well, wasn't that nice? He was interested in her. He'd be able to spend more time with her.

A hard band of fear tightened around his chest. Was that really a good idea? Was he ready to start caring about another woman? He didn't know if he could ever risk his heart again. He wouldn't trade a second of his time with Debra. He'd loved her deeply. Losing her had been the toughest thing that ever happened to him. He couldn't go through that again.

“Where's the iced tea?” Frank asked from behind his computer monitor.

“Closed. They're cutting back hours, I guess.”

“I'd be mad, but guess what? I wrangled more
cookies out of your girlfriend.” With a sly grin, Frank bit into a chocolate cookie.

“She's not my girlfriend.” Cam helped himself. The plate was stacked high—had to be two-dozen cookies. “Way to go. How did you finagle this?”

“I was just out patrolling. Doing my job like a good deputy. I couldn't help it that she was going twenty-six in a twenty-five zone. I
had
to reprimand her.”

“You had no choice.”

“Exactly. Know what else I found out? Her birth date. It's coming up, too. Thought you might want to know.”

“Why? I'm not exactly a member of her inner circle.”

“But my guess is that you might want an invitation to the party. If you can't admit it to yourself yet, then fine. Denial is as good of a way to cope as any.” Frank hit a key and the shared printer came to life, spitting and sputtering in the corner.

“I thought you didn't approve of her.”

“It's not my call. But admit it. You like the woman.” He scribbled something on a memo pad.

“Sure, I like her. Who doesn't like her?” She was friendly and beautiful and helpful. What wasn't to like?

Cam knew perfectly well that wasn't the kind of
like
Frank was talking about. He meant romantic interest. That was exactly what Cam was wondering, too.

 

It hadn't been the best day. Kendra left the cordless phone on the desk. It
looked
as though she had enough of a crew to cut hay, although she couldn't be sure.

She wasn't offering top dollar—she was meeting a good field wage, but she didn't have the capital right now to compete with her neighbors for the limited amount of teenagers and part-time field-workers in the valley.

She couldn't blame the workers for wanting to make the most pay they could, but if she heard one more, “I'll come in the morning if Mr. Brisbane's crew is already full,” she was going to, well, do the entire haying herself.

“You look beat,” Colleen commented from where she was upending a grain bucket into a stall trough. “Did you need help making any calls? I don't mind playing the tough guy.”

“Thanks, I may take you up on that tomorrow. I have ten delinquent accounts and they keep avoiding me. I've left messages, I keep trying to hunt them down in the arena. Nothing.” Kendra didn't add that she could really use that money. Things were tight—but then, they were always tight. Just a part of being an upstart business, that was all.

“If you want to show me the list, I can help you hunt them down in person.” Colleen swiped the sweat from her forehead.

Colleen was a hard worker, and one day she wanted to open a stable of her own. It would be good to teach
her more of the business side of things. “Meet me in my office first thing tomorrow.”

“Awesome.” Colleen flashed a grateful smile before refilling the ten-gallon bucket. “Oh, I forgot. The sheriff's new horse came in while you were out in the fields. I got Warrior settled in a nice corner box stall like you asked.”

“You are wonderful, Colleen. Thanks.” Kendra took a step, saw Trisha Corey, fresh off work, head down the aisle toward her horse's stall. Seeing the woman reminded her that Cameron would be coming by soon, as he'd promised. “Can you do me a favor?”

“Name it.”

“Could you show the sheriff to his horse when he gets here? Answer his questions, that kind of thing? I haven't really gone over a lot of things with him yet.” Oh, and the contract. She had to get his contract printed out.

Her stomach rumbled. She had skipped lunch again. Maybe she'd print off the paperwork while she cooked something quick to eat. Oh, and she had to balance the checkbook so she knew if she could make a payment to the feed store.

She mentally added that to her list as she swept down the main aisle toward the back exit. The long diaphanous rays of the evening sun streamed through the double doors like a path at her feet.

She noticed Cameron's dark blue SUV ambling down her graveled driveway. True to his word, he'd come to spend time with his horse.

It was the hand of Providence that brought the right horse in his direction, and she was glad for him. As she followed the rail paddock toward her little cottage tucked on the rising knoll of the property, she had a perfect view as he parked, climbed out, adjusted his Stetson and glanced her way. His hand shot up in the air in a manly wave.

For one fleeting second, a tide of joy lifted her up. Happiness? No, she
couldn't
be happy to see him. What sense did that make? She was glad he'd come for his horse's sake. That was all.

She stopped to check the roses in her backyard garden, grabbed the shears and snipped off a few fragrant yellow blossoms on her way in. Her cat was a huge marmalade lump on the couch cushion in front of the air conditioner. He opened one eye a slit, appraised her mildly, then let his eye droop.

“Good to see you, too, handsome. Don't get up or anything.” She snagged a bud vase from the shelf over the refrigerator and filled it with lukewarm water. She heard the thud as he jumped down from his perch.

He wove his way around her ankles, mewing pointedly.

“I know. I'm sorry. I'm late.” Where did she put the can opener? “You know what I need? Two can openers, so when I lose one, I can still open—”

She felt a change in the air, like a charge of anticipation before a thunderstorm. It trickled across her skin like a temperate breeze. It filled her senses like
the sharp, heavy smell of ozone that accompanied thunder.

Cameron. She
felt
him. She saw him without turning around, striding with that easy gait of his, relaxed because he'd changed out of his uniform and was wearing those worn-comfortable jeans and a plain T-shirt that made him look like a hero out of a western.

Every cell of her being focused on the tap of boots against the wooden porch.

“Do you always do that?” His baritone shivered over her.

“Do what?” She couldn't think again. “Lose my can opener?”

“Talk to your cat. As fine as he is, he can't talk back.”

“No, but he makes faces like a teenager, so I figure there has to be some cognitive function behind the sneer. See? He lifted his lip at me.”

“I've never had a cat. Call me a dog person. Well, a horse person now.” He was wearing a grin that showed off two dimples to perfection.

She placed the vase and delicate roses on the breakfast bar, where she intended to eat her supper, whatever it might be. But first, she'd deal with Cameron. “Have you seen Warrior yet?”

“Gave him a pat on the way by. The gal that works for you, Colleen, was real helpful, but I told her I needed to see you.”

She hadn't realized he was holding one hand behind
his back until he produced a small present, wrapped in black-and-gray-striped paper with a bow taped to the center. “A gift? But why?”

“To thank you. You went out of your way for me, helped me, and I sure appreciated it.” He set the offering on the edge of her kitchen table.

What a nice, thoughtful man he is.
Clearly, wrapped in the plain paper, it was nothing romantic or inappropriate. And how could she say no? “I truly don't need a gift.”

“It's good manners. Besides, after baking us another round of cookies, I figure it's a fair trade. Butter and sugar costs money.” He winked, so she knew he was using humor to lower her defenses, to make it all right. “Go ahead and open it.”

She eyed him suspiciously for a moment, and panic knotted behind her sternum. A gift. That wasn't appropriate at all, was it? Should she give it back? “This is too much.”

“You don't know how much I was sweatin' all this stuff. What horse? What kind of horse? Would I pay too much? Or get a lemon? Would I even like riding? It's been bugging me for months, and you come along and make it so easy. Thank you.”

The corners of her soft mouth quirked as she plucked the bow off the package. It was all he could do to stand still while she pulled carefully at the layer of wrapping tape he'd used on both ends.

“This package is hard to break into.” She studied
him through her thick lashes as she reached into a drawer and pulled out a small pair of sharp scissors.

He knew what she was doing. She was watching for any hint of romantic intentions. That's why he'd used black paper, which was about as far away from romantic paper as a guy could get, he figured. And why he purposefully tried to act indifferent, even if his pulse was thudding so hard in his chest he swore she could see it against his shirt. All this was telling him Frank might be right. He might
like
Kendra. More than he wanted to admit.

“Oh, Cameron. Thank you.” The loose strands of gold that had escaped her ponytail throughout her long day's work framed her face in soft waves. True pleasure drew color into her cheeks. Her eyes sparkled as she pulled the DVD case from the wrapping paper. It was one of her favorite westerns.

“Do you have it already?”

“No. I've been renting instead of working on my movie collection.” She gestured to the other side of the room where a small TV sat on what looked like a newly varnished antique trunk. On top of it sat an economy-model DVD player and a set of rabbit ears.

“A collection, huh? That sounds impressive.”

“Yeah, doesn't it?” She crossed in front of a small coffee table and a covered, overstuffed couch to set the DVD case next to the TV. “Now I have, wow, one movie. It's a
very
selective collection.”

“You have good taste.” He didn't have to wonder to see how tight Kendra's budget had to be. She'd
made those curtains herself, he figured, since his Deb had sewn and he recognized the touches no discount-store-bought item could provide.

The furniture was all secondhand and probably older than either one of them, but it was dusted and polished, refinished and cozy. The cottage was small and feminine—there were ruffles and lace, not a lot of it, but even a small amount was too much for a tough guy like him. It made the back of his neck itch.

He felt like a bull penned in a field of daisies in this small feminine home next to this petite, feminine woman. For all the hard physical labor she must have to do to earn her living, she was really a wisp of a thing, all long limbs and quiet elegance.