Almost a Cowboy (16 page)

Then in one explosive motion, she jerked into a sitting position. She yanked the door handle and hurled herself into the rain. For a horrified moment he thought she might start walking.

Instead she dug through her bag and came out with a small tissue packet. With quick swipes she cleaned off her belly and then zipped and buttoned her pants. All the while she refused to meet his gaze.

He put his cock away before addressing the issue. When he was zipped again, he looked at her. “Caroline.”

“No! Don’t say it. Let’s just pretend you never said that.”

He crawled across the seat and reached through the open door for her, but she danced back two steps. Rain steadily wet her, darkening her hair and slicking her bare shoulders.

“Why not? I did say it because I fucking mean it.”

She shook her head hard. “Not happening. That quickie against the wall at my house didn’t take root.”

He scrubbed a hand over his face. Damn, he’d forgotten about that. But the fact was she may be carrying his child now. Another Davies to add to the already large number. Was that what scared her? That she’d have a few of his kids, and then he’d run off like his father and have a bunch more?

Or was she really just afraid that she
was
in fact pregnant right now? Maybe she hadn’t voiced her fears, and now they were surfacing.

“Baby, come here.”

She stared at him, arms folded and the used tissue wadded in her fist.

“Why are you so damn afraid of me? Don’t you want these things in your life? A husband, children? You used to.”

Her face screwed up as she fought to keep from crying. With a violent flick of her arm, she hurled the sticky tissues at him. They bounced off his chest and rained on the seat.

He’d given her enough time to come to him. Now it was time to take what he wanted. He jumped out and stood in the rain with her. Semi-trucks whizzed by, throwing walls of water into the air. Caroline stood her ground, and he didn’t try to hold her.

Though he ached to pull her into his arms and tuck her head under his chin. What really scared her?

“Okay, we’ll pretend I didn’t say it. But I won’t take it back, not ever. I want to marry you, Caroline. I wanted to ten years ago, and when I came back after Ma died, I tried to find you, but you were married.”

“Aggghh!” She whirled as if to stride away, but he caught her around the waist and lifted her off her feet. She churned her legs in the air to get away. But as if realizing she never would, she went boneless, slumping in his hold.

Her hot tears wet the backs of his hands.

“Jeezus, baby, talk to me.” He turned her gently into his arms and sat on the edge of the seat where they’d be drier.

She snuggled against his chest, breathing fast and hard, but he thought she’d stopped crying. In fact, he’d be surprised if she’d squeezed out more than two tears. She had impeccable control of her emotions.

“Caroline?”

She shook her head.

Stroking her hair, he sought to calm her. Five cars went by, then ten. When the flashing lights of a tow truck appeared behind them, Utah tilted Caroline’s face upward and kissed her lips softly.

“This isn’t over.”

She nodded again and scooted off his lap. He got out to greet the driver, confusion a constant horn blast in his mind.

•●•

Pete was six feet two with beefy arms full of single-needle tattoos Caroline had only ever seen on prison inmates. His blue work shirt stretched over his broad chest, slightly skewing his embroidered name.

He hitched up the truck in minutes. Then he waved for her and Utah to get into the tow truck with him. She pictured a dozen scenarios, most of them ending with their bodies hidden in the backwoods of Kansas.

When Pete patted the vinyl seat and said, “Climb on up here, sweetheart,” Utah pushed by her and did as told.

She was safely locked between Utah’s hard body and the truck door, the heel of her hand shoved against her teeth. Still a giggle escaped.

Utah shot her an amused look but said nothing.

A child’s joke revolved through her brain.
Pete and Repeat got into a boat. Pete jumped out. Who was left? Repeat. Pete and Repeat got into a boat. Pete jumped out…

They bumped along for ten miles with Pete talking about the storms coming through today and how he’d be out hauling bad drivers out of ditches. Utah took up the conversation and managed to distract Caroline from breaking into a fit of laughter.

She couldn’t even look at Pete without wanting to roll on the floor and hold her stomach. The man could probably kill her with one flick of his wrist, but that didn’t stop her amusement from striking at the wrong time.

Pete jumped out. Who was left?

Pete reached between Utah’s legs and felt around in the cup holder for what felt like a solid minute. Utah held his thighs tensely apart while Caroline writhed on the seat in suppressed hysteria.

Finally Pete came out with a can of chewing tobacco. “Chaw?” He held out the can to Utah.

“Nah, I quit a long time ago.”

“Yeah? Wish I could.” Pete stuffed a pinch into his cheek, revealing what the people at home called “summer teeth.” Sum’r there. Some aren’t.

More weren’t than were. Caroline stuffed her fingers into her mouth.

Utah continued to talk to the driver about their travels across the country as they looked for his family.

Caroline sobered. He was confiding to Pete?

“You haven’t seen your family in a while?” Pete asked, one-handing the steering wheel and glancing between the road and Utah.

“I’ve never met them.”

“Oh, you orphaned or something?”

“Something.”

“I gots a coupla half-brothers I’ve never met out in Ohio. I called one once to see if he’d like to meet, but he didn’t.” Pete shrugged. “Guess it’s just as well. What would I have to say to someone I don’t even know even if we share the same father?”

“I know the feeling,” Utah said.

Caroline shook her head. A bond could be formed in the strangest places.

When they reached a gas station, they stood in the parking lot while Pete unhitched the truck. Then he and Utah put it in neutral and pushed it up to the pump.

Caroline crossed the parking lot, too aware of the slipperiness between her legs from her release. She’d badly handled Utah’s announcement that he longed to see her carrying his child. More than anything she wished she hadn’t let those few tears fall.

Because deep in her heart she wanted the same thing. Only she wasn’t sure it would ever happen. Right now she and Utah were as close as they ever were. But what would stop him from picking up and going back to the mountains when this was all over?

She covered her lower belly with her hand. For a few days she’d been thinking about her period too, wondering when it was coming. She was often irregular, especially when stressed. Right now she was stressed about her newfound feelings, her terror over them, and even this article she couldn’t find a topic for.

“Thanks for the tow.” Utah handed Pete a tip and received a thump on the back with a hammer-like fist that would have felled a lot of men.

“You break down in Kansas, I’m your guy. Call me direct.” He spouted off his number, and Utah nodded.

“Thanks, I’ll remember it.” He tapped the brim of his hat to indicate he’d locked the numbers in his brain.

Pete went off with a wave at Caroline. She waved back and then leaned against the truck, finally breaking into the giggles she’d been withholding.

Utah dipped his head, hiding a smirk. “You thought it mighty funny when he reached between my legs, didn’t you?”

She hunched her shoulders and shook with laughter. “Yes. I’m sorry. It was just…the look on your face!”

“I can imagine. Glad it put you in a better mood.”

The chuckle died on her lips. Their gazes met. His bore traces of pain—pain she’d probably caused him. “Utah, I’m sorry.”

He tipped his head down again, giving her a view of the top of his battered brown Stetson. “I know that.”

She kicked at the truck tire while he filled up. Her clothes were wet and uncomfortable. Casting a look around and trying to think of a way to break the tension between them, her gaze landed on a sign across the road for rustic cabins. She pointed. “Maybe we should stop there and get a cabin. Dry off.”
And make up.

In their younger days, they’d rarely argued, but when they had, she’d felt it to the marrow of her bones. Utah’s unhappiness was sandpaper against tender skin.

He nodded, the hint of a smile etched around the corner of his mouth, making her spirits rise. “All right. Let’s go inside, pay for the gas, and get some food and drinks. We’ll make it a real rustic retreat.”

“Sounds good.”

Twenty minutes later they held a key to cabin number fourteen. The grounds were well kept, and the lawns stretching from one small wood cabin to another were plush and green. Small window boxes filled with marigolds hung beneath two windows. From the outside, the cabin looked cozy.

Utah opened the door, and a strange odor washed out. Caroline wrinkled her nose.

“Probably just stale from being closed up. We’ll open the windows.” He stepped inside. She followed, taking in the dark interior. A few dead bugs littered the top of a wooden table. Two benches were pushed up to it, and it crowded a mini kitchen. Thank God she didn’t plan to do any cooking because the old burners looked as if they’d been placed here in the 1950s. And the crud on the stovetop had probably been put there in the ’50s too.

She took a single step and opened a door. A very tiny bathroom unit was nowhere near nice, but she could live with it. All she needed was a sink and a toilet, after all. She went inside and changed into dry clothes. Before she’d finished sliding into a clean sundress, he called for her.

“Here’s the bed, baby.”

She walked a few steps to the rear of the cabin and found he sported a fresh shirt too. He’d rolled the sleeves over his forearms, accentuating the corded muscle and the spattering of hair there.

Automatically, she shifted her gaze to the bed built into the wall. Only a narrow area to stand beside it separated it from the opposite wall. “It’s tiny. At least one of the windows is over the bed.”

He kneeled on the mattress and fought the sash until the window opened. A cooler breeze washed through.

“I’ll get the kitchen window.” As she went into the main space, it crossed her mind that he might live in a cabin of this size. When she couldn’t get the window up, he reached around her and manhandled it.

Then he grabbed her wrist and led her back outside. “I can’t eat in there with that smell. Let’s have a picnic on the porch.” A narrow porch ran the length of one side of the cabin, and two Adirondack chairs sat there, grimy with cobwebs and disuse.

Utah chivalrously wiped hers off and then sat in his without a care to dirt. She pulled his sandwich from the convenience store bag and handed it to him. He waited for her to unwrap her turkey sub before he’d take a bite.

As gentlemanly as always.

“Mmm. This is surprisingly good for a gas station in Podunk, Kansas.” She chewed around turkey, pickles, and lettuce.

“Sure is. Sometimes things aren’t what they seem on the surface.” He eyed her in a way that made her wonder what he would try to pry out of her.

Suddenly her dry dress felt unbearably sticky. It clung to her spine, which had grown damp in the humidity and under Utah’s direct gaze.

Just as they seemed to be in between pockets of storms, she and Utah were in limbo.

The dimple in his chin flashed as he chewed. She grew mesmerized by it, urging him silently to take another bite as soon as he swallowed. She should have told the lady at the food bar to add a few more slices of ham to the sandwich to make him chew longer.

“Since when do you like tomatoes?” she asked. It was one thing they’d had in common—neither of them liked tomatoes.

“Since I have to live on them. They grow well and can well.”

“You can them?”

“Yes, ma’am. I can everything from venison to wild grapes. I make a mean spicy pickle.”

She smiled. “Is your cabin like this?”

“No. Mine’s a little bigger. I have a room for traps and stuff. And my bed’s a lot more comfortable.” He waggled his brows at her.

She had to ask. “I bet the ladies think so too.”

A dark cloud passed over his features. He swallowed the bite in his mouth before saying, “Never had a woman there, Caroline.”

“It’s your business if you did.”

“Yeah, it is, but it didn’t happen.”

His tone reminded her that she was the one with a twelve-pack of condoms in her nightstand.

About a hundred yards away at the neighboring cabin, the door opened. A rough family poured out—parents and kids looking as if they’d camped here for a month. Utah raised a hand in greeting, and they waved back.

Then the father took up a seat on the porch and started to strum a song on his guitar. Two kids went out to dance in the sun, swinging each other around until they both toppled in a dizzy heap. The mother went in and out of the cabin and finally emerged with a platter of food.

They all sat down to eat fried chicken with their hands.

“Smells good,” Caroline said as it wafted to them.

Utah sniffed. “Sure does. My ma would approve.”

“You miss her.” It wasn’t a question.

“I do. Mostly I feel guilty that I didn’t come home as I should have.” At this, he looked at Caroline hard.

She turned her attention to her sub and picked off a crumb of bread. “The time wasn’t right for us then.”

“I shoulda come after you sooner.”

The thought of him meeting Jeremy made her hands tremble. She hid it by bringing her sub to her mouth. “And we’d be like that family right now.” She twitched her head to the other cabin.

“Yeah. You know we’d be good together.”

At the vehemence in his tone, her heart warmed a fraction. “We’re good together now.” Meaning she didn’t need a ring. This was enough.

“We could have the ranch,” he said quietly. “If Pa left it to me, that is. Or if not, I could buy out my brothers. Or sisters.” This made him grin.