Alluring Infatuation (25 page)

He takes my hand and covers it with his own. Turning my hand, my palm touches his and I squeeze. He squeezes back and searches my face. “I’m going to miss you, too, Melonie. You were a huge part of my life for a long time. There are times I still look for you when I’m doing things out of habit.”

I chuckle. “Really? Like when? When you don’t have to move makeup and hair products around the bathroom counter so you can find your toothpaste? Or when you don’t have to go look in the closet down the hall for a shirt because my clothes have overtaken the closet in the bedroom.”

Rolling his eyes, he chuckles with me. “Yeah. Those times. And a few more.” He gets serious as he looks at me. “Are you happy, Mel? I mean, you’re good now, right?”

I blush. “I am. Dade is great. We’re complete opposites, but I am happy. We zing.”

He smiles. “You love him…”

I bite my lip and nod. “I do. It’s crazy because we’re so very different. I’m a professional and he’s a rock star, yet we… just fit.” I realize that might come off wrong and I don’t want to offend or insult Jake. “I mean – That doesn’t mean we didn’t. I just mean…”

He rubs my hands with his thumb. “I know what it means.” He smiles again. “You and I fell in love as kids. We were different people. We thought we wanted the same things, but as we grew, we focused more on the friendship than the romance. Neither of us did anything wrong, Mel. You’re an incredible person who I dearly love. But I wasn’t in love you with and you weren’t in love with me. Getting married would have been wrong.

This. Your face right now as you talk about Dade… that’s what love is supposed to be like. What we had… that was love, too. But not the right kind. I’m so happy that you’re happy.”

I link my fingers with his and laugh. “You’re right. I just hope he feels the same.

We would have made a boring ass married couple. But, I do I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

My back suddenly feels like a current is running through it. I turn looking for what caused the sensation and my eyes lock on a fierce jaw and a shell shocked face. My eyes travel up and the rage in his dark eyes is unpalatable. I gasp. He looks at the bag in his hand and then glares at me. Turning on his heel, he stomps out of the cafeteria, tossing the bag into the trash so hard, a BOOM is heard as it bounces off the back of the trash can.

Jake pulls on my hand. “Melonie. Who was that? Was that Dade?”

I nod. I can’t talk from the emotion going through my head. He saw me. He saw me holding Jake’s hand and laughing. Oh my God, he must think that we… that I… he thinks something is still going on…

“Melonie. Stay here. I’m going talk to him. He’s got the wrong idea.” Standing up, he straightens his back and leans down towards me. “I’m going to fix it. That man… that man is in love with you.” He kisses my forehead as my eyes fill with tears. “You deserve love.” He hurries down the hall in the direction Dade left.

He doesn’t trust me. After all this time, he still doesn’t trust me. That really hurts…

Dade

W
hat the fuck? I come down here because she’s working and I wanted to surprise her with dinner and I see her laughing and holding hands with her ex-fiancé?! In the middle of the fucking hospital cafeteria.

I’m about to blow a gasket here. I don’t get all pissed off over women. I never have and I damn sure won’t now. Fuck this. I’m going home. Six months ago she wasn’t in my life and I was fine. I can be fine again.

Then why does it feel like a fucking vise is squeezing your chest?

DAMMIT!!!

Exiting the front doors of the hospital, I turn towards the wooden bench and punch it. Shit! That hurt!

Leaning my head back, I clench my fists and look at the darkening sky. It looks like it’s about to storm. Good, it can mirror the storm inside of me.

I hear footsteps and glare at the intrusion.

Really!?

He looks nervous at first as he checks out my hands, but then he glares. “You’re wrong. What you thought you saw, you didn’t.”

He followed me out here and now he’s telling me I didn’t see what I clearly just saw?!

“Is that right? So I didn’t see you, her ex-fiancé, caressing her hand as you gazed at her lovingly and she says she loves you?!”

He looks at me incredulously. “You’re a piece of work. Wow…Yes, you saw me holding her hand. We’re
friends
. We lived together for seven years. I was engaged to her. But I’m not in love with her.” He glares at me. “She’s not in love with me either, you idiot.”

I laugh harshly. “I heard her say ‘I love you. I’ll always love you.’ Are you telling me I didn’t hear that?”

He crosses his arms over his chest and stands with his legs spread as he looks at me. He’s smaller than me, but he’s clearly not backing down though he stays out of reach. “No, you heard it.” I exhale loudly. “
But
, you obviously didn’t hear what came
before
that!” Shaking his head as his eyes narrow on me, he continues, “She was telling me she’s going to miss me because I’m moving.” He laughs at the look on my face. “Yeah, asshole. I’m moving. We are friends. I was congratulating her on being happy… on being
in love
.”

My face blanches. I shake my head. Fuck, what did I do?!

Backing away and looking at me in disgust he gives one parting shot. “She loves you. Not me. Though, from what you just did to her, I hope she tells you to fuck off. Asshole.” He walks back into the hospital.

I need to sit down. Did I just jump to conclusions?! Shit… I did. I’ve never done that before. I’m the level headed one. I’m not the man who accuses people of anything with the facts.

You just did. He’s right. You’re an asshole, Dade.

Am I going back in there? No, no I’m not. This is her job. I can’t go in there and cause a stir. The media would have a field day with that.

I’ll stop by her apartment tonight and apologize.

Dammit.

It’s 9:30 and I know she’s been home for about half an hour. I know because I called Ms. Maureen and she told me. She asked me what I did because since Melonie’s been home, she’s been banging around in her apartment and she seems really upset since she can hear it over the thunder and rain outside.

My chest hurts. I did that. I jumped to conclusions and made a complete ass of myself. I’m apologizing, though.

Getting out of my Hummer, I make the way to her door. By the time I get the few feet, I’m soaked. Ms. Maureen is watching me. I wave and she frowns at me. Great, I’ve pissed her off, too. I am such an asshole.

I knock. She doesn’t open, so I knock again as I stand in the torrential downpour. I hear her walk to the door, but she doesn’t open it. Sighing, I call out, “I know you’re in there. I can hear you. Can you please open the door?” Still nothing. “Please, Melonie. I need to talk to you. Can you please open the door? I’m not leaving until you talk to me.”

Ms. Maureen is watching me raptly through the window. Awesome, I’m going to have to grovel with an audience.

Leaning my head against the door, I whisper beseechingly. “Open the door, Melonie.”

I hear the lock turn and I step back. The door opens and she’s there. Her feet are bare and her hair is tangled. It looks like she’s been running her hands through it. Her face is tight and her eyes are bright. She’s not happy.

“Ok, you wanted to talk, so fucking talk.”

Looking over my shoulder as rain rolls down my face, I ask, “Can I come in?”

Her hand tightens on the door. “No.”

My stomach drops. She’s saying “no”; I don’t think this is going to go well. Reaching out, I try to take her hand. She pulls it back. “Don’t touch me.
TALK!
”

Well, ok then. “I’m sorry.” Her mouth tightens. It’s white. “I’m sorry I walked out like that. I saw him with you and I’d seen you with him before. I got jealous.”

Her eyes snap. They darken to a deep emerald. “You’re sorry?! You saw me with him?! When did you see me with him, Dade? Why would you treat me like that? In the hospital?! Where I
work
?!”

Each comment is like a knife to the gut. This sucks. “I saw you with him after the event at the hospital. Cruz and I were at Rotolo’s when you walked in with him.”

Her mouth opens and closes and she closes her eyes for a minute. It looks like she’s having a hard time containing herself. “You saw me out with my friend. He’s my
friend
. You could have walked over. I would have introduced you, Dade. But no, you chose to assume I was doing God knows what with him.

Tonight, I had a rough night, Dade. A patient really affected me. Jake saw me in the cafeteria.” She laughs and it just sounds wrong. “Not that I need to justify any of this to you, but let me just inform you. Jake is leaving. He’s going to be the head of Urology at another hospital. We had coffee and I told him goodbye. He told me he was happy I was happy.”

Her eyes are full of pain. “Only, I’m not happy anymore. I have never done a fucking thing to make you distrust me. Not even on St. John. Yet,
you don’t trust me
. You don’t trust me and I don’t deserve it. So, this…” she gestures between us, “whatever the fuck this was…
this is over
. I’m done.”

My throat closes up with her words. She’s right, but no, she can’t be done. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to her. “Melonie…”

She says sadly, “Goodbye, Dade.” and shuts the door in my face. I knock on it, “No. Don’t do this. I’m sorry. Let me in, I’ll make it right. Melonie, open the door.”

I hear the lock turn and her steps walk away.

She’s not serious. She can’t be serious? I fucked up. But, we can get over this. She said she was happy with me. She was. I know she was. I was happy, too. We were in love. She doesn’t mean that. She’s just hurt and mad… Right?!

I sit there on her doorstep for about an hour with the rain pouring down over me and the thunder booming as lightening cracks, but she never opens the door.

With a heavy heart and buzzing head, I turn and start back to my Hummer. Ms. Maureen’s door opens and she peeps out as I get to my truck. “Shame on you, Dade. Shame on you. I thought better of you.”

There’s the final blow. Grimacing, I don’t say a word. I just get in and leave.

I drive for hours. I don’t even realize it until the Hummer coughs and stops. Where the hell am I even at?

Seriously?! I’m out of gas in Albany? Looking at the dash, I groan. It’s after midnight. Shit.

I call Cruz. He answers after two rings. Thankfully, he was awake.

“Hey, man. Can you come get me? I ran out of gas?”

I hear him sit up. “Where are you? You’re out in this weather?! Are you by yourself?”

I tell him I am and where I am. He says he’ll be here in about thirty-five minutes and that he’s going to go fill a couple of gas cans on the way out.

That leaves me an hour to sit and think about what a complete and total fucking douchebag I am. Awesome.

Around 2AM, I pull into my driveway and stare at my dark, silent house. This sucks…

Walking in, I toss my keys onto the table in the foyer as I turn on the light. Mel’s black flip flops catch my attention. They’re next to mine on the shoe rack.

I walk through the house that has felt more like a home in the past two months than ever before and observe all of Melonie’s little touches. She’s added flowers to a few rooms. The kitchen has pretty, yet masculine, yellow sheers over the floor to ceiling windows to help filter some of the light in the mornings.

There are a couple of framed photos up on the walls that she found and matted before hanging. The media room is still the man cave and main entertaining spot here, but it now has a couple of throw pillows and some blankets. Walking into my bedroom, I see her everywhere. Her underwear is in one of the drawers and she’s got a few changes of clothes hanging in the closet along with a pair of heels and some tennis shoes for when she’d work out with me.

Her robe is across the chair-back near my bed. Her shampoo, conditioner, and some girly stuff is in my bathroom and her toothbrush is next to mine near the sink.