Allie's War Season Three (70 page)

WHEN I OPENED my eyes, the room still seemed to be filled with golden streamers.

But I could see him again. I also realized that we weren't alone.

A half-circle of seers stood in the dressing room around us...or I should say, knelt around us. I felt a kind of blank, fear reaction take over my light when I saw them there, just staring at us with awe in their faces. They looked like they were kneeling in a church or something...but I ended up feeling more like I'd been caught naked in a public fountain.

All of them, including the female seer who had been helping me find dresses for the last hour-plus and the male seer who had brought Jon his drink, were holding their hands up in that respectful sign of the Bridge.

I looked at Jon. Realizing I still had my hand on his chest, I took it off.

He was still fighting to slow his breathing, still nearly gasping although no longer to the point of hyper-ventilation. Wide-eyed, he looked around at the kneeling seers just like I had, only from the look on his face, it seemed like he thought they might attack us both. He gripped the divan's crushed velvet upholstery in both hands, supporting his weight where he half-leaned back towards his elbows.

When he looked back at me, he let out a kind of choked laugh.

Unthinking, I took hold of one of his hands, the one missing its thumb and forefingers, and helped him up to a seated position. He let me guide him up, but I couldn't help noticing he was shaking...and still staring at me like I was some kind of alien. Even so, he gripped my hand in return, hard enough that I laughed myself...although I couldn't have said why.

I still had tears streaming down my face, too, but it was impossible to feel sad, at least right then. I felt pretty out of it, but not sad...more like I was coming off a major dose of some kind of super-clean and super-charged drug. I shook from it, too, I realized. I felt him notice, and then he was smiling below that wide-eyed stare.

I could tell our behavior was probably freaking the other seers out, though.

"It's okay," I told them, stumbling over my words as I waved them off with my free hand, towards the beaded curtain. "It's okay...really. We're all right...you can go...you don't need to stay here. Really..."

Jon gave another strangled laugh.

I don't know if he'd been trying to talk and couldn't, or if it was just some way of expelling the energy that still vibrated both of our lights.

I saw the other seers in the room look at one another, their eyes still filled with that same light...and now a kind of blank confusion. Like Jon did and like I must, too...they all looked a bit drugged out, like they'd just been hit with a syringe full of something intense. But their glazed expressions weren't what unnerved me. It was the reverential looks on their faces as they stared at me that made it hard to hold their gazes. Nothing inherently creepy or fanatical lived in their expressions...at least not that I could see. They just looked like they'd had their minds blown, and thought me responsible.

More than anything, I wanted to tell them that it hadn't been me. That the light they felt, it had all been Jon...but somehow, that felt inappropriate, too. Not like a secret, exactly, but more like...well, okay, maybe it
did
feel like a secret, of sorts.

In either case, their stares, combined with that strung-out, high-adrenaline shaking feeling I seemed to be sharing with Jon, really put me in a weird space.

Still keeping their heads and faces below mine, they began backing out of the room one by one, their hands still lifted, palm-sideways, in the sign of the Bridge. I focused back on Jon, seeing the thoughts skim past his eyes as he watched them leave, like he'd been thinking some of the same things as me. His expression remained so open he looked about ten years younger.

"Are you okay?" I asked, squeezing his fingers.

"I have no fucking idea," he muttered, still following the seers with his eyes.

Looking at his hazel irises, I jumped. Those gold flecks that decorated his green and brown rings remained bright...oddly so.

"Hey," I said. "Jon...look at me."

He turned immediately. When he did I flinched again, more so that time.

His irises had somehow transformed completely from what they had been, while still remaining utterly and recognizably his. The rings had morphed from their flatter green-brown hazel into an odd calico of light flecks and darker browns. I saw new colors too...blues, orangish-red, light brown, gold. They were nothing like Surli's, though; Jon's were much, much lighter overall, and those gold flecks dominated the rest, shockingly bright and difficult to look at without blinking.

"What the hell did you do to me?" Jon said, still slightly breathless.

I shook my head. "I have no idea."

"What does that mean?" he said, staring at me. "What do you mean you have no idea?"

"Honestly, Jon...I really don't know."

"Why did you do it, then?"

I shrugged again. "I don't know." Hesitating, I looked at the beaded curtain again before adding in a lower voice, "...I just know it felt like you. Not me. You."

His stare intensified. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Shaking my head in confusion, I fought to find more adequate words. I was still turning over things to say, getting images of him sleeping that morning coupled with that strong desire to see him today...when a chorus of other voices suddenly grew audible in my mind.

I saw Jon flinch in the same instant I did, right when those voices started.

What the hell was that?
Wreg said, his voice coming through first, and so loud I almost laughed.
Did someone breach the construct? What is happening? Where is Jon?

It is the Bridge...
Jax sent.
It has to have been her...

It was her,
Balidor affirmed.
Is everything all right, Alyson?

What is going on?
Tenzi sent.
What just happened?

Is Jon with her?
Yumi asked.
I feel Jon there...did something happen to Jon?

I feel Jon too,
Loki said.
Do you need help, Esteemed Bridge? Brother Jon?

Revik's mind felt quieter than the rest, but also seemed to have the most awareness behind it.

Do you either of you want any of us to come?
he sent.

No,
I sent, addressing Revik first, then opening my mind to all of them.
No, it's okay. Really everyone...we're fine. Jon's with me, we're both fine. Sorry for freaking everyone out...

I hesitated, feeling their confusion, especially Balidor and Wreg's.

Really,
I added, somewhat more lamely.
We're good...

Are you going to tell us what happened, Esteemed Bridge?
Wreg sent. The worry in his thoughts came through more tangibly that time.
What happened to Jon?

We'll tell you everything,
I sent.
Sure...of course. As soon as either one of us has the faintest idea what happened ourselves...

When Jon snorted at this, laughing, I glanced at him once more, unable to keep the amazement from my thoughts.

...
By the way, I'd be careful what you think right now...about Jon at least...
I added.

Unable to help it, I laughed with him, probably grinning like a loon.

In fact, I'd be careful what you think about around Jon in general from now on...I'm pretty sure he'll probably hear you...

I FELT A little strange leaving Jon after all that, and I told him so.

Especially to go on a date, of all things.

Feeling where I was going in my mind, probably well before I started talking even, he waved me off, looking more tired than anything.

"No," he said. "Go. Seriously. I need a break."

"Are you sure?"

I still found myself watching his face closely enough and intensely enough to make him uncomfortable. I could tell all of my staring, combined with pretty much every seer in the construct checking him out from behind the Barrier, was making him increasingly tense...and probably actually irritating him by now.

I also couldn't help remembering what he'd said about Vash's death, and how I'd behaved since. I knew he was right in a way, that I'd pretty much not dealt with any of that, or the fact that San Francisco was now a plague-infested war zone. It wasn't because I didn't care. I guess I'd been waiting for some kind of breather. Something that might tell me it was all right to stop long enough to let the worst of it sink in.

The Vash thing, and the Cass thing, probably bothered me the most, when I let myself go anywhere near my actual feelings on what had gone down in the last few weeks. Truthfully, something about Cass being missing probably bothered me more than anything.

Which really begged the question...why hadn't I gone looking for her? Why hadn't I sent anyone, apart from encouraging Revik to deploy Gar and the others to San Fran?

"Allie," Jon said. "You should go. You and Revik need this. Both of you." Seeing me about to protest again, he waved me off, then studied my face, looking faintly embarrassed. I'd already noticed that something in what we'd done in that dressing room had pretty much obliterated any trace of alcohol from his system.

"And, Allie, hey," he began, his voice more tentative. "About those things I said..."

Feeling where he was going, I shook my head.

"Don't worry about it. Seriously."

"Yeah, well...that stuff about Revik. And Vash. I was out of line. I hope you know I don't really think any of those things. I really don't...I mean it..."

I shook my head again. "I said don't worry about it, and I mean it. Anyway, you were drunk, and entitled to a good vent. In fact, I think that might have been about five years overdue, considering everything that's happened..."

He frowned, looking about to apologize again, or maybe argue with me, so I headed him off before he could.

"You really think this was an okay choice?" I said, holding out my arms to show him the dress. "You weren't just trying to get me to be done with the whole thing?"

As I'd hoped, his eyes flickered down, going into objective appraisal mode.

We were hanging out by the elevators, more or less where Revik had told me to be. I'd gone there straight from the dress shop, since the female seer had offered to help me with make up and hair so I wouldn't have to go back upstairs, where I would probably run into Revik in the suite. The whole friggin' hotel seemed to know we were going out, which I couldn't help finding funny...and also a little unnerving. I was pretty sure I'd even glimpsed a few infiltrators at the doorway of the dress shop's changing room, peering inside to get a look at me before Revik came downstairs.

"It's a good choice," Jon said after another moment. "I like the shoes, too...and she did a good job on your makeup. Better than you do..."

"Haha." I rolled my eyes. "And jeez, Jon. My
shoes?
You really are gay."

He punched me lightly on the arm and even smiled, but I could still see that tense look behind his eyes. I could tell he was still thinking about whatever had happened before, and I didn't really have much helpful to say to him in that area, at least not yet.

"You're sure this isn't bad timing?" I said again.

"Yes, I'm sure," he said, rolling his eyes. "Despite my snarky comments earlier, you two really do need this. You're driving the rest of us crazy. And by the way," he added, kissing me on the cheek. "...Happy birthday."